Chapter 7: Dying

It had been nearly two years...well, 18 months at least...but it felt like an eternity. Neji was 18 now, just as Lee was, and today...it was her birthday - TenTen's birthday, March ninth. That meant she'd be eighteen like them too. There seemed to be a lot of eighteens in everything lately... Neji shrugged it off. What a weird coincidence.

"Alright, my lovely students! Today, we train harder than ever! Harder than Kakashi's team. Harder than --"

"Naruto!" interrupted Lee.

"LEEEEEE!?!"

As the bushy-browed boy turned to answer his sensei, he was knocked back several hundred feet as Gai landed a monstrous punch right to Lee's face. Neji merely stared as the poor boy flew backwards, and then shakily rose to his feet several moments later. "Gai-sensei?!" he sobbed, his eyes huge like a puppy's.

"Lee! I'm so sorry!" cried Gai, running to embrace the sniffling student. "I had no idea that my manly strength could overcome you so easily!"

"Gai-sensei! I forgive you!" The two embraced – tears flowing freely, a beautiful sunset with crashing waves in the background (well, there should have been one at least).

"Pfft..." Neji scowled and returned to his own training. "Ridiculous," he muttered. Team Gai had been a three-man cell for quite some time now. Ever since TenTen had left, nobody felt the need to replace her with another kunoichi. It just wouldn't be the same...not that it was the same now, but they all felt that replacing her would just be like a betrayal somehow. Neji threw a handful of kunai at the target which was exactly 1,000 feet away - quite a challenge for even the most skilled of shinobi. As he expected, not one of them hit the bulls-eye, but...The young prodigy smirked. TenTen had hit that mark hundreds of times and she'd made it look so easy. He wondered if she ever missed the feeling of a kunai in her hands...

"Neji!"

"...yes, Gai-sensei?" he replied tiredly, not too enthusiastic about what he might possibly have to do for this absurd teacher of his.

"What is today?"

"March ninth..."

"And what happens on March ninth?" pushed his teacher.

"...I don't know." Neji was getting irritated. Why couldn't Gai just get to the point? Was there even going to be a point?

"It's TenTen's birthday!" shouted Lee happily, spinning in circles. "We must go wish our dear TenTen a wonderful, youthful day!"

Neji narrowed his eyes. "I'm not going."

Gai gasped dramatically, and Lee toppled over. "But you have to go! It won't be the same without you, Neji! Sakura and Naruto and Ino and Hinata and...and..." Lee tried to think of everyone else who had already gone and wished her a happy birthday. "We're the only ones who have failed to give her our best so far! And it is already late in the afternoon – if we do not hurry then we might miss this exciting opportunity!"

"Then go already! It'll only bring her trouble if I go...She wants nothing to do with me." Neji turned away and launched another kunai at the target in irritation, trying to vent somehow.

"Ah, sometimes the joys of Youth are overshadowed by such depressing feelings as these, my young Hyuuga!" said Gai, wagging a finger at the prodigy. "But! If you insist, Lee and I shall proceed to TenTen's apartment! Off, Lee! Double-time to TenTen!"

"No, Gai-sensei! Triple time!"

"Fantastic! Awaaaayyy!!!!"

Neji rolled his eyes as the pair took off. What a bunch of idiots... At least he was alone now with only his thoughts to torment him. The Hyuuga sighed. Despite his refusal, he had desperately wanted to go visit his old teammate. They hadn't spoken ever since that encounter at her tree so many months ago. The words were still fresh upon his mind as if she'd said them yesterday however.

"Why am I precious to you?" He hadn't had an answer for her then. "Now I'm stuck on the outside for good..." That couldn't be true...but it was. Sure, they saw each other every so often – mostly in passing as they walked down the streets. Yet she'd only nod politely and continue on her way (and those were the good days...usually TenTen only ignored Neji). The girl would never forgive him. "I thought I loved you..."

"TenTen..." Neji sighed ill-humoredly. No matter how he'd tried to forget that once-dauntless, bright-eyed girl, the memory of those beautiful sepia eyes only recaptured his heart anew. Why? Why couldn't he have just told her? "Why do you want me to stay?"

He hadn't realized it then, but he did now. The young Hyuuga had fallen for her, and now he'd hit the cement hard enough to shatter bones. So this...this is how she'd felt. It seemed their roles were reversed now – one was desperately in love, but their feelings were struck down by the wall of ice the other had built up between them. He hadn't realized how much pain he'd caused her. Neji began to wonder. Maybe...just maybe...

Hesitating at first, the prodigy decided that he had to see her. Just once. Just one more time...and that would be it. And with all these troubling emotions building up to their breaking point, the Hyuuga headed off to TenTen's.

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"I'm coming!" shouted the brunette at the sound of knocking. It was probably another well-wisher come to remind her yet again that it was her birthday today. All this attention was getting irritating quite quickly. TenTen wondered if she'd be able to hold her tongue and continue smiling for much longer. She'd nearly lost it with Gai and Lee...

TenTen brushed her hair out of her face as she made her way to the door. Ever since she'd left Team Gai, the girl hadn't worn her hair up in her signature style. It was all part of being a kunoichi. She didn't wear her headband anymore – why should she wear her hair like that either?

"I said I'm coming!!" she repeated as the knocks resounded. The brunette roughly opened the door and opened her mouth to say something to this impatient S.O.B., but instead only sucked in a sharp breath. Hyuuga Neji was the last person she'd expected to show up on her doorstep tonight. "N-Neji? Why are you here?"

He smirked a little sadly. Those words sounded so familiar... "I know you don't want me here, but I had to say something. Just hear me out, and then...then I won't bother you again. I won't bring you anymore pain after this...I swear it."

TenTen's eyes grew somewhat sorrowful, but still retained that distinct coldness. "Fine. What is it?" she muttered, looking at the ground between them. "Wait...hold on a moment." The girl retreated into the apartment only to reemerge a few seconds later wearing a pair of geta and a komon instead of her usual yukata. It was cold outside, so she figured she'd better put on something a bit thicker. "The walls are thin and my neighbors' ears are sharp. It'd be wise to go somewhere private...unless you wouldn't mind sharing what you'd like to say with the entire complex." The girl raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"Uh, not really..." he replied hesitantly. "What do you have in mind?"

"My tree." She began to walk down the stairs and into the street, which suggested that he should follow suit. The walk was long...as was the awkward silence. Neji could hardly stand it, but he didn't want to ruin this. She had actually agreed to hear him out - it was already more than he had expected. When the pair finally arrived, the sky had already darkened. The moon and stars had collided into the velvety heavens, making for a spectacularly beautiful evening. A perfect atmosphere...

TenTen stopped suddenly at the base of her tree and tentatively reached out to touch the bark, almost as if afraid it would bite her should she touch it too roughly. Neji knew it had been a while since she'd been here.

"This used to be my favorite place to think, you know..." The girl let her hand drop.

"I know," he replied softly. "Does it make you unhappy now?"

"I believe you wanted to tell me something?" she said, avoiding his question.

Neji sighed inwardly. Still so cold... "Yes, I did. TenTen..." He hesitated, unsure if he really wanted to do this. "I know the answer. I know the answer now..."

She looked confused. "What are you talking about? Answer to what?"

"Do you remember that day? It was raining...I remember it was raining very hard."

"That...day?"

"You were still ill. I found you here in the rain, remember?" Neji lifted his exotic eyes to meet hers tentatively. "I didn't know you were here at first. Your chakra – it was so faint...like someone who's dying. I can hardly feel it at all...even now."

TenTen's brow furrowed. "So? It's not that important, Neji."

"You are dying, aren't you? On the inside." His hands tightened into fists. The girl's mouth opened to give an indignant retort, but he wasn't about to let her cut in. "You told me to find happiness – the happiness you thought you'd been cheated out of. Well, I've tried, TenTen, but I can't. I can't find it. Why? It's because of...you. You're the one I can find happiness with, but now...We've grown so apart." Neji's voice quivered slightly. "TenTen...you said loving me was a mistake. Please...I want you to know that I realize how you were treated – how wrong it was. If I could have a second chance..." The Hyuuga's touching words trailed off into silence.

TenTen had closed her eyes, trying to shut out the hurt. "You're asking me for a second chance?" she choked out finally.

"Ngh..." He turned away, knowing his pleas were about to be rejected. The wretchedness of it all...he could feel it bubbling up to a breaking point. "No." Neji's eyes closed half-way. "I couldn't ask that of you. I couldn't ever begin to deserve it. But...as I said before. I know the answer now. Do you remember yet? That day...you asked why you were precious to me – why should you stay?"

Neji suddenly whirled around and, in one swift motion, captured TenTen in a tender embrace. The girl was too dumbfounded to protest, which made it easier for him. Only for TenTen would the stoic Hyuuga ever show such a gentle side of himself...and even for her, it was still difficult for him to do. "I love you...I love you with all my heart, and I will never think that it's a mistake," he whispered into her silky tresses. "That's why I wanted you to stay...I just didn't know it then. I hope that one day, you can forgive me, and..." Neji wound his arms a little tighter around her. "I hope that you find someone you can care deeply for, someone who won't be a 'mistake'. I want you to be happy again."

TenTen's icy demeanor began to melt as his words struck deep into her heart. She couldn't hold it back anymore, it was too much. She was too overwhelmed. At first, only a few tears broke free, but the number steadily grew until they were too numerous to count. The girl's entire frame shuddered as she was overcome with weeping. It nearly broke Neji's heart to hear her. It took everything he had to not break down as well. "TenTen..." he pleaded miserably. "Please don't cry...you're...you're breaking my heart again..."

She clutched him tightly and shook her head. Her tears felt warm against his skin. The Hyuuga waited until her sobs had withered into silent tears to pull away. If he stayed any longer, he wasn't sure he'd be able to handle it. It was apparent that he'd only brought her more pain as feared. "Thank you, TenTen. Thank you for listening." Neji's pearlescent eyes darkened sadly as he turned to go. "As I promised, I will leave you now. You won't have to worry about seeing me anymore...please take care of yourself, since I cannot be the one to do so."

He was nearly out of hearing range when a quiet "Wait..." fell upon his ears. Neji slowly turned and found TenTen where he'd left her – her head hanging, cheeks flushed, the remnants of tears upon her eyelashes. "Is it too late?" Neji's puzzled expression only heightened her blush. "I mean...is it too late to come back?"

"Come back?" he repeated softly.

She nodded. "I didn't forget. What I said back then – I didn't forget...that was the answer I've wanted to hear for so long. And now that I finally have..." TenTen buried her face in her hands, trying to hide her misery. "After what had happened in Claw, I felt so alone...I wanted someone to hold me and tell me it would be alright..."

Neji looked down, unable to respond. He knew that that had been yet another thing he'd failed at.

"But I felt so dirty and disgusting...I felt repulsive...tainted. Who would want me?" she wept. "I'm sorry, Neji...I'm sorry things turned out this way...I'm sorry for everything..."

A strong pair of arms around her told TenTen that she'd been forgiven. And in silence, the pair held each other until her tears had ceased to flow. "I want you," he told her softly. "I would want you no matter what."

TenTen eyes brightened a little. The stars had faintly begun to shine in her soul once more. "Ah!" Neji exclaimed lightly. "TenTen...your chakra..."

"What? What's wrong with it?" she asked worriedly.

"I can feel it again..."

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Viola! Happiness, right? Anyways...it's not quite over with yet! Time to tie up all those loose ends now. Phew! More poor fingers...

'Sanku to all you lovely reviewers - especially to Midnight Memories! I loved your review and definitely wouldn't shrug off advice from a more experienced author. As suggested, I added in an A/C disclaimer at the beginning of the story. The OOC-ness...yeah. I should have tried harder to keep them in line, but it would have been so hard to get what I wanted to say out! Guess I'll just keep trying though. Sorry for the grammatical errors too. I thought I got them all, but after re-reading the story I realized there were quite a few. Again, I apologize for that. The unbelievable twists? Well...yeah. I don't know what to say about that. :ashamed: However, thank you so much for the kind compliments you gave after the critique! I feel so encouraged, and not just by Midnight Memories either. All of you who have reviewed asking me to update soon – thank you so much! And to kiyomi – I'm glad I was able to convey the emotions well enough for you.

I'm very worried about this chapter though. If Neji was OOC before...it's nothing compared to this. I'm so sorry:ashamed:

Well, enough of my thoughts – time to start working on chapter 8! (If anyone still wants to read after this...) TT.TT

- Hikari