Chapter 5 ; Itachi and the shrink.
After a week at Sea world, Itachi started to act strangely, he would twitch and start talking about parents.
The other members found this very distracting, so they all drew straws to decide who had to listen to his problems, Zetsu, was the unfortunate person.
"So Itachi tell me about your childhood."
"NO"
"Itachi, I eat people, do not make me eat your leg, talk."
"Fine, for my fifth birth day my parents got me a toy hammer, it wasn't even real, I knew I would have to wait one more year to kill them!"
"Okay, why did you want to kill them?"
"Well for my fourth birth day them got me a rubber ducky, all my friends got metal ducks, and I felt like a looser."(Sniff, starts to cry).
"Okay, tell me how do you feel about Sasuke?"
"He is weak, like my rubber ducky, he is weak and he lacks the hatred like rubber ducks."
"I'm guessing that you have some issues with rubber ducks, well what happened when you were six?"
"I got a clown, he scared me, so I killed him, it was so easy, because he lacked hatred."
"Itachi, I eat people and you worry me, that is not an easy feat,"
"That is because you lack hatred, like Sasuke, he is weak."
"I have no reason to hate you." (Why did I get the short straw?)
"So tell me what happened when you were ten?"
"I realized how weak and pathetic my clan was, they all lacked hatred, so I planned to kill them!"
"How did you find this out?"
"They all liked Line dancing! The weak, hate lacking fools!"
(Tobi pops out of Zetsu's sleeve)
Tobi: I like line dancing!
Itachi; Stab (Tobi regenerates) this goes on for about an hour
"Itachi, I'm charging per hour, so leave Tobi alone. Tell me what happened the day you killed them?
Tobi; that was fun!
" My parents wanted me to help Sasuke with his shuriken skills. I may have been a super S-class nin by the age of eight but not even I can help Sasuke that much."
"So the last straw was your parents asking you to help your brother, well I can relate, but I just ate my parents, not the whole clan."
"Really, thanks Zetsu you helped me to realize that it's not just me who's a parent hating killer."
The next day, in Orochimaru's base.
"So Sasuke how are you?"
"Great a talking plant, Orochimaru must have done a new experiment on the first."
"No I'm Zetsu, your shrink and a member of the Akatsuki. So tell me how you're feeling."
"I'm living with a gay pedophile to gain more hate for my brother so that I can kill him, how do you think I'm feeling."
"Man you really hate Itachi, he told me that you like line dancing, can you show me?"
"Line dancing is one of the only reasons why I'm still sane, it also is the reason why I say I'm not EMO."
"No Emo's can line dance, so you are an EMO."
"NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO… I am not EMO."
"So you don't like being called EMO, How does Itachi make you feel?"
"Must gain more hate, must kill Itachi, I am an AVENGER!"
"Okay times up, your brother told me that you would pay for his session as well."
"IIIIIIITTTTTTAAAACCCCCHHHHHIII! I HATE YYYOOOUUUU!"
(From the other side of the country; but you still lack enough hatred!)
Chapter 5 END.