"I need to find some wine and chocolate," Spock told Surlek the next time they were in the playhouse. T'Pring had learned to roll, so they were coaxing her to roll across the floor between them.

"What is chocolate?" Surlek asked.

"It is a human food, extracted from the cocoa bean," Lebena stated. She was sharp and popular and would never admit to hanging out with Spock and Surlek at school, but she sometimes came by to visit them afterwards.

"And it says right here," Spock continued, "That wine and chocolate will cause your partner to throw caution to the wind."

"And what does that mean?" Surlek asked, sounding a bit annoyed.

"That they will be less cautious," Spock answered.

"And what does caution have to do with mating?" Surlek demanded.

Spock didn't know, but Lebena answered grandly,

"The average human woman mates almost five thousand times in her lifetime."

"Sorry Spock," she added, seeing Surlek's look of horror, "Can you imagine having five thousand children? You would not have enough rooms for all of them. So it is logical that humans would want to be cautious with regards to mating."

Her tone made it clear that she found this entertaining.

"How do you know that you will not marry a human?" Spock demanded, bemused.

"If I did," Lebena replied, "I would make him sign a prenuptial agreement limiting the amount of mating he is entitled to."

Spock thought that this seemed needlessly magisterial.

"This does not solve the issue of where to obtain wine and chocolate," Spock went on.

"You could go to the grocery store," Surlek suggested, rolling T'Pring across the floor. Lebena leaned over and snatched her up, glaring at the boys as if they ought to know better.

"I do not believe these items are usual on Vulcan," Spock stated.

"Where does your mother get her human food?" Lebena asked.

This was a very good question.

*****

Several times, Spock's parents had told him to add any food he ate the last of to the grocery list. Looking more closely, he saw that it was a grocery store order form that was sent out once a week. The day before it was sent, Spock waited until his mother went out and added cocoa and grape juice. The store didn't stock wine, but Spock thought he could make some himslef.

As soon as the order arrived, Spock picked out the cocoa and the juice.

"Make sure you put that in the fridge when you are done," the maid called after him, but he put it under his bed to ferment instead. He hid the cocoa in the cupboard to for later.

Spock waited until Mother's day, and offered to make his mother dinner instead of breakfast in bed.

"That's so sweet," she answered.

The maid helped him prepare a simple salad, and then left him to make the cake. He had helped his mother so many times he was sure he could get it right. He added a lot of cocoa, and noting that it had a very offensive odour, put in some extra vanilla to cover it up.

Spock got out the grape juice and smelled it. He was disappointed to see that it didn't appear to have fermented. The ingredients contained preservatives. He hadn't noticed that before.

Taking it up to his father's laboratory, he confirmed that it did not contain any alcohol. Spock figured he would have to improvise, so he poured in some laboratory ethanol. He wasn't sure how much was enough, so he put in half the bottle.

Spock set the table, and his parents sat down with him.

"Grape juice!" his mother said, "It's been so long since I've had grape juice. I didn't know you liked it."

"I read about it and wanted to try some," Spock replied, which wasn't quite a lie.

Sarek thought it was too sweet and only had a sip, but Amanda drank two glasses.

"This certainly has a lot of vanilla in it," Amanda said when she tried the cake, and only mashed it up on her plate, and upon tasting it, Spock did the same thing. But Sarek ate a large slice.

Spock had a plan for how he was going to observe his parents, but he didn't need to use it. As he walked down the hall, he saw that his father had his mother pinned against the bedroom wall and was kissing her, with the door wide open.

"Amanda," he said grandly in a way that echoed through the hall way, "I loved you since the moment I saw you ..."

"Ow, you're hurting me," Amanda replied, "You don't realize how heavy you are."

"And then I realized," Sarek's voice rang out, "That there could be no other woman ..."

"You're standing on my foot!" Amanda exclaimed. Sarek moved off of it, stumbling slightly. He tore her shirt off at the seams, and began kissing her heavily.

"Sarek!" Amanda scolded weakly, but then gave in and began kissing back.

Spock watched excitedly.

They went on for a minute, until Amanda came up for air. A look of disorientation came over her face, and then she leaned over her husband's shoulder and threw up. Sarek looked startled for a minute, and then passed out, falling over backwards.

Seeing his mother had just thrown up all over the carpet, Spock did the logical thing. He called the maid.

"Go to bed," she said as soon as she saw them, "I will take care of this."

Looking back, Spock felt a little bit disappointed, but mostly he felt sorry.