Hesitantly, Snape proceeded toward the door of the Burrow. This would be his second meeting with the Order of the Phoenix and he dreading it.

Snape's hand reached out for the silver doorknob. He felt the cool of the metal. Then he stopped.

Lily would be inside. Did she hate him? Did she fear him?

Snape inhaled the cold air and smelt the scents from the Weasely's garden.

He'd only gotten one message from Lily in the long weeks since they shared that dreadful kiss. She wrote:

Dear Severus,

Thank you for your assistance in the warding off of those five Death Eaters. No one was hurt.

The next meeting for the Order is in three days from today at Arthur and Molly's house, I wasn't sure if you knew or not. Well, I suppose Dumbledore has already told you… anyways, you should make sure to go.

Best wishes,

Lily Potter.

Now Snape stood frozen on the Weasley's porch, afraid to see her again. She'd be disgusted by him, he was sure of it. She'd hate him again.

He opened the door.

Arthur greeted him with a warm, genuine smile. "There all in the kitchen."

Snape walked into the kitchen. There he found over a dozen witches and wizard sitting, laughing, and conversing at a long wood table. He could see her there, at the far end. Her red hair was tied up in a pony tail. Jame's arm was wrapped gingerly around her shoulders.

There eyes met for a moment-- a brief, brief moment that Snape would remember for the rest of his life. She looked … worried.

He found an empty seat at the corner of the table and sat. To his left was Edgar Bones, who seemed to be in a rather amusing conversation with Frank Longbottom and some others. In front of him was Remus Lupin.

"Hello Severus," Lupin said, "I don't think I've welcomed you to the Order yet." With these words, the man held out his hand for a friendly hand shake.

For a moment, Snape just looked at Lupin's hand. He imagined it growing fur and crumbling into a paw. I'm not sure I want to sit so close, Snape yearned to mock, it may, after all, be a full moon. But instead, he shook the wizard's boney hand and thanked him for his kindness.

"I heard about your lie that saved Lily," Remus began, "Very clever, if I may say."

"How'd you hear?" asked Snape accusingly.

"News travels pretty quick around here… not to worry, everyone think's Lily was quite lucky to have you there."

Before more words could be exchanged between the two, Molly busted into the room. "Quiet everyone! I've just put Percy to bed and I'll be darned in that rascal wakes again." With a flick of her wand, Molly sent trays of her home cooked food through the air and onto the table.

While enjoying the best meal he's eaten since leaving Hogwarts, Snape listened to the bits of conversation around him. Most involved missed relatives or up coming Quiditch matches. A few men ventured to talk to him, but all of these conversations were short lived.

He strained his ears, and once or twice could hear Lily's voice. It made his heart beat faster.

Half way through the meal, Dumbledore entered the room. "Sorry I'm late…" he said simply and then sat at the head of the table in a seat reserved for him. He then continued to speak. He gave orders, reviewed previous battles or schemes, and congratulated those who'd done well, Snape among them.

When he was through, the wizards got up and roamed the house. Snape watched as the meeting dissolved into some what of social get together. He felt extremely out of place.

Snape yearned to approach Lily. She was standing not too far away talking to a witch named Alice. She looked beautiful, no doubt, even with those circles under her eyes. What has prevented her from sleeping?

When Alice left, Snape took the opportunity.

"Hi, Lily," he said meekly.

"Oh, hi," she said. She wore a smile, but it was fake. He could tell. "Sorry I haven't written. It's been a… a busy couple of weeks."

"Ah, well, I've bee rather busy as well." A lie.

"Death Eaters giving you any trouble?"

"Not particularly…"

Someone called Lily's name. Snape watched as her green eye's left him and found some one else.

"Oh, seem's like James needs me…"

"Bye then."

"Bye."

He watched her walk away, feeling as though every bone in his body had been cursed to feel an unimaginable amount of pain.

Then someone new spoke.

"It's so obvious!" The words were said by a young wizard that Snape hadn't seen standing there before. She was a curious creature, with a lively smile and bright pink hair. She couldn't be older then a 5th year. "My name's Tonks."

"Tonks?"

"Yeah, well, it's my last name. My first name is sort of hideous." She spoke quickly and had a confidence that Snape never knew as a child.

"What are you doing here?" he questioned.

"I came here with my cousin. See, I'm ganna be an Auror like him, but anyways, were not talking about me."

"We aren't?"

"No, we're not, Severus."

"Severus?"

"That's your name, isn't it?"

"Well, yeah," said Snape, "but how did you-"

"How did I know?" said Tonks, "I know about all of you members of the Order, including Lily Potter. And it's so obvious!"

"What's obvious?" asked Snape angrily.

"She's in love with you." As much as he wanted to believe the young witches words, he found himself laughing at the foolish idea. "No, really. That's why she's avoiding you, because she doesn't want to love you, because she's married."

He gave her only dry, sarcastic laughter.

"Fine!" Tonks said, "Don't believe me! But it's so clear. That kiss of yours did more then get rid of the Death Eaters."

Snape watched the girl disappear in the crowd. What a foolish child she was. To think, he was ever that hopeful! To think, he could ever believe Lily could love him.