At the Order's Annual Christmas party, Snape's eye's searched vigorously, looking around.

He'd been a nervous wreck since he last saw her. He'd been a sorry excuse of a wizard. Every bird that set flight might be a letter from Lily. Each flick of a flame in the fire place might be Lily trying to reach him!

What was the girl with the pink hair saying? That Lily was falling in love with him? Hah!... She was avoiding him to protect herself from the affection his kiss brought? What a laugh! And yet…

There she was! Across the room, hand in hand with James, there she was!

She could never love him. Him with his scowling eyes and pale skin, him with his thin lips that- that kissed her.

That kiss was so violent. He hadn't enjoyed it. Surely, she didn't either. There was no way she could. She was used to snoging James-the-big-Quiditch-hero! The one that all the girls were fond of, even the Slytherins. He pictured her loving James and his perfection. It made Snape hate him even more. Admittedly, James had been decent since the night the Death Eaters attacked. But as he watched Lily's pretty little hand grab a hold of James's, he felt only loathing for the man. Snape despised him.

Snape wandered around the house. It belonged to Elphias Doge. It was a mess of a home, very big, but still cluttered. There was a trail of dust on the window sill. Snape ran his finger along the filth, and before he could lift it, he had bumped into a wizard. That wizard, Snape learned, was Sirius Black.

"My bad," said Sirius immediately. Then, when looking up and seeing that it was Snape he had bumped, adapted a much less friendly tone. "Have you seen my cousin?"

"Your cousin?"

"Yes. Nymphadora Tonks," he said bitterly.

"The one with the pink hair?" Snape asked with smirk.

"I believe it's orange today…" Black trailed off with out so much as a good bye

So that was her hideous name – Nymphadora. Well, it was atrocious. Then again, Snape was never too found of the first name: Severus. He only liked the sound of the word when it was spoken by Lily. Then she started calling him Sev. What a wonderful nick name. It made him want to smile.

"She's outside," someone mumbled.

There the girl was again. This time, her hair was a fiery orange.

"Excuse me?"

"Lily!" Said Tonks, "She's outside, alone. Go talk to her."

Snape fallowed her gaze out the window. There he saw Lily, standing in the large lawn amidst the rose bushes and leafless trees. She looked beautiful. He wanted to talk to her. He really wanted to talk to her.

"Go!" Tonks urged.

"Okay," said Snape. Should he mention that Black was looking for her? Nah. Let him search. "Thanks, Nymphadora."

As Snape walked away he heard her yell, "It's Tonks!"

The garden of Doges was far more impressive then his houses interior. Hundreds of pretty little flowers filled the space. Snape, who had always been fond of dark magic, has always had a soft spot for flowers.

After a few steps through the soft grass, Lily realized he was there.

"Oh, Severus. I didn't see you there," she said. Her face looked flushed. "Well, you can have the yard to yourself. I was about to go inside…" She headed past him toward the door.

"Lily?" Snape said. His voice was low and monotone.

She paused. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry…"

She drew toward him, looking angry. "Don't do that!"

"Do what?"

"Do that," she snapped.

"That?"

"Don't apologize! You haven't done anything wrong!" She was having one of her Lily-outbursts that Snape always found both annoying and sexy.

"Then why are you mad?"

"I'm not!" her voice rose loudly.

"Oh really?" Snape raised his eyebrows mockingly.

Lily turned her back to him and marched around to the side of the house. He fallowed. What else could Severus Snape do, but fallow Lily? If she was mad, upset, or angry, he'd always fallow.

"What's wrong?" He dared ask.

"You. Your wrong." Snape waited and watched her wet her cheeks with tears. "I've dreamt about you. I've wondered. Sev, I can't wonder."

"You dreamt about me? Lily, that isn't a crime…"

"I just got married!" she shrieked. "and I love James, but when he kisses me—" she stopped, then rephrased, "I know that that kiss we shared wasn't real. I know that. But now, when James leans in to kiss me, I think of you. I think of what it'd be like if it was real, and I can't think like that, Sev, I can't. I'm a horrible person."

"No, you're not a horrible person."

"I am. I want, so badly, to kiss you right now. Just to know, so I'll stop wondering…"

Snape stood frozen. Finally, Lily wanted him, but she hated that she wanted him. It was torturing her. Snape felt torn.

He wasn't the one who made the choice. It was her. She leaned in and pressed her pretty lips against his. Softly, and sweetly, she kissed him for a good amount of time. And Snape felt he would die from the pleasure of it. A life time of misery would be worth this one moment.

As soon as she pulled away, she erupted in giggles. The giggles turned into a stream of hardy laughter. She couldn't make out words. She was laughing too hard.

"Oh thank goodness." She said. Her arms rapped around his neck. She hugged him with force, "Thank God, thank God, thank God!"

"I was so worried," Snape heard her say, "I was frightened, thinking I was falling for you! Thank God though, I didn't feel it. I won't wonder anymore. Thank God! I didn't feel it! Now, we can be best friends again! Sev…? Sev? What's wrong? Your tearing up. Sev, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Snape whispered. He rapped his arms tight around her. Nothing, thought Snape, she had felt nothing.

Friendship was all he'd ever gotten from Lily, but it was a lot more then he deserved. As much as he wanted more, as much as he wanted her, he'd never say so. Or maybe he would. But not then. Right then, Snape would only hug her back. Right then, Snape would only be her best friend.

Okay, so that's the end. I hope it didn't disappoint you at all. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, it really means a lot to me. I'm ganna be writing a story from young Lily's prov next, if your interested. Thanks again, and plz review.