"A hot new outfit may be just what you need for a romantic evening," Spock read out loud.

Surlek looked confused.

"I thought that mating required clothing removal," he said slowly, "Would warm clothing not make the process slower?"

"Perhaps they would want to take it off because it was sweaty," Spock guessed, seeing Surlek's point.

Lebena glared at Spock and Surlek disdainfully. She was feeding T'Pring vegetable juice, having confiscated her from the two boys for what she claimed were safety reasons.

"Have you not read a single human fashion magazine?" she demanded.

The boys shook their heads quickly.

"Hot means sexually attractive."

Surlek looked confused again.

"I hope I am never sexually attracted to clothing," he commented.

"Not the clothing, Surlek," she said in an insulting tone, "The person in the clothing. I mean would you rather mate with someone in visually appealing clothing or in ugly, worn-out clothing?"

He turned to Spock and shrugged, as if he would rather play chess.

But Spock was glad that Lebena knew what she was talking about.

****

Spock and Lebena were sitting on the floor of Lebena's living room surrounded by cut-outs of different outfits. They had removed everything that was labelled 'hot' from her magazines, and were now trying to figure out what the qualities a 'hot' outfit were.

"Perhaps to be 'hot' an outfit must be revealing," Spock suggested. But Lebena pointed to a picture of a floor-length ballroom gown.

"Or maybe it needs to be ornate," guessed Lebena, but Spock found a picture of an outfit that appeared to be made of nothing but neon spandex.

"Perhaps the cloth is pleasing to the touch," Spock said, but Lebena pointed out that many of the outfits included jeans, and denim was kind of rough.

In the end, she suggested that Spock look for a store.

"There are so many stores on Earth," she said, "There has to be one that sells nothing but hot outfits."

*****

When the package arrived, Spock ran upstairs and quickly put in on his parents' dresser. As they went to bed, he watched from the closet.

"Sarek," Amanda said, "There's a package for you."

"I did not order any clothing," Sarek replied, turning it over and looking at it.

"Remember that shipment that was lost last year?" Amanda answered, "Maybe they found some of it. You should try it on."

She turned around and started putting on her nightgown while Sarek opened the package and put the contents on.

"This is two centimetres too large in the waist," Sarek stated.

Amanda turned to look at him. And then she started laughing.

The outfit consisted of a green tunic that was short in the front had a hole cut out in the back. It certainly was revealing.

Underneath the tunic was a set of long silk stockings, which were very pleasing to the touch.

And it came with a feathered cap, which was certainly ornate.

The online store had called the outfit Robin Wood, and Spock had noted that many customers had commented that it was 'hot'.

"I did not order this," Sarek stated demurely when Amanda had stopped laughing.

"I know that!" she spat weakly and then laughed some more.

"My sister must have sent it," she mused eventually, "She is the biggest prankster."

Sarek gave her an annoyed look.

"A sister that knows your measurements down to two centimeters," she added with a wink, "You really should be flattered."

"Should you call her?" Sarek asked, as if he was unsure of social protocol.

"No," Amanda said, pursing her lips, "But I will send her a package of my own." Her eyes twinkled as she said this.

She moved to touch Sarek, but then she saw his rear sticking out of the hole in the back and keeled over and started laughing. Hysterical and tumultuous laughing. For a minute, she stopped, but then she looked up and saw her husband and started shrieking again, leaning weakly against the bed. Spock thought his father looked a bit dejected as he took the costume off.

Spock spent all night in the closet, but he saw no sign of mating. He wondered if he had bought the wrong outfit.

Maybe he should have gone for Friar Fuck.

A/N: I wasn't going to update today, but then I saw a June Cleavage outfit for sale and couldn't resist :)