Part four

Tom

I'm sorry, if I slagged you down I meant no harm

But when I heard the stories

I said things I didn't mean

I should have stayed calm

But sadly you got angry

And it breaks my heart

You're so mad at me

Slamming the car into gear I quickly backed out of Erica's driveway and sped down the street. Stopping at the red-light I finally took a breath and decided I was in need for some music. I pulled out my Taking Back Sunday CD and turned the volume up. When the lights turned green again I was already singing along as loudly as I could.

It wasn't until I turned onto my own street that the guilt started to grow on me. Despite, deep down, knowing that I was right, I still couldn't help but think that maybe I could have said it in an other way, been nicer about it. But then again, I really thought that we were close enough to tell each other everything. As I thought 'obviously not' something held me back, what if I was the one in there wrong here? What if I had just lost my best friend over a stupid comment?

I pulled my phone out and scrolled down to Erica's number. I hesitated for a second before pressing the call-button and holding it up to my ear. While backing into my own driveway I listened to the call going through. Signal after signal and nothing. "Well, I guess that settles it then" I thought to myself. "She obviously doesn't want to talk to me, then I definitely don't want to talk to her".

---

Erica

After Tom left I spent the following hours staring angrily at the ceiling with the music up so high I could feel the beat pulsating through me. I couldn't believe some of the things that he had said to me, where did all that come from? I let out a loud sigh before I thought I saw something flash next to me. I turned my head towards the nightstand and noticed my phone vibrating. I stared at it for a couple of seconds before it stopped. I reached out and picked it up, instantly finding Tom's name sprawled across the screen. I pondered calling him back for a couple of seconds, but then decided against it. He was probably only calling to tell me his honest opinion on Jason again, which I did not want to hear.

Frustrated I threw my only remaining pillow at the opposite wall with a scream. I realised that I needed to talk about all this with someone, and well, the obvious choice was Jason. Pulling on a hoodie I ran outside and jumped into my car without thinking twice about anything.

---

'Jason?' I said into the phone. 'Are you in? Can you open the door for me?'

'Sure' I heard him reply. 'Come on up babe'

'Hi' I said with a small smile as Jason opened the door for me.

'Hi' he replied before pulling me into a hug that felt so comforting. It wasn't a hug like the ones I was used too, but it worked. 'What's wrong babe? You look horrible'

'Oh, nothing much' I started as I took a seat on his bed. 'Just a bad day'

'Come on, I know you better than that. You cant tell me everything, you know that right?'

'Ok…Me and Tom had a fight' I said with a sigh.

'What about then? I thought he was you 'best friend'' he asked while emphasising the two words.

'I don't know why really, we were talking about you…'

'About me? What about me' Jason quickly cut me off.

'I asked him what he thought of you and he said he though I could do better and stuff'

'He said that? That geek'

'Tom's not a geek' I said back absent-mindedly. By this point I was so distraught that I was hardly even listening to him.

'An ass then' Jason continued angrily. 'I knew I should have kept that annoying little shit away from you. From now on, you cant see him anymore!'

I turned towards him and even mustered a small smile. 'Huh? Yeah…I don't think that will be a problem'

'You know what' he said standing up. 'I should go over there right now and beat the crap out of him'

'Huh…' I said taking his hand. 'Cant you just stay here with me? I don't feel like being alone'

He seemed to be thinking about it for a second before sitting back down next to me. 'You know I will never do that to you, don't you? Now that you are my girlfriend, I will take care of you and protect you from everyone'

'Girlfriend?' I asked surprised.

'Yeah, you are my girlfriend right?'

'If you want me to'

'I do' he said with a smile.

'Cool' I nodded and smiled back at him.

'Now you're all mine' he said quietly, but I was to happy at that point to even react.

---

'Will I see you tomorrow?' I asked Jason as he opened the door for me.

He responded by giving me a small kiss. 'What do you think?'

'I think I will' I giggled and gave him a quick hug before getting into my car. Driving off I couldn't wipe that smile of my face, It seemed permanently stuck to me somehow. I laughed out loud at myself and at the entire situation, it was really amazing how a day that started out like crap could turn into something this good. It was really too good to be true.

---

The next day I was out shopping with my cousin, Mark. Jason had called me that morning and rescheduled our date for that evening instead, so I felt that some new clothes were in order.

'Mark, which one should I buy then, the pink one or the blue one?'

'Hm' he said while looking at both dresses. 'I think the blue one is more flattering for you'

'Yeah, you're probably right' I said with a smile as I spun around the dressing room. 'I've missed our shopping-sprees Mark, its been way to long this time'

'I know cous, we should make this a monthly, or even weekly thing' he chuckled. 'Now, buy that dress so we can move on, I need a new pair of shoes'

'Fine, don't rush me, you cant rush shopping' I laughed back. 'Isn't that what you always say?'

'Ohh.. That is low.. Use my own shopping-commandments against me' he said with another smile. 'I have thought you well young, Ehm, that star wars word that all star wars geeks use when they talk about something like this'

I only smiled as a response to his comment, my mind was to busy thinking about Tom. Why did he have to bring up the whole star wars-thing? I mean, its not like I didn't think about him enough anyway…

---

After another hour of shoe-shopping, I swear, Mark is even more shopping-obsessed than I am, and that says a lot, we took a seat at a café, in front of two well deserved cups of coffee.

'And then I really think you need to get the black…' Mark started, but was interrupted by my phone ringing.

'Sorry' I apologised before answering. As I heard Jason's voice on the other line, I couldn't stop the huge smile that spread across my face. 'Hi Jason'

'Ahh… Erica's in love' Mark sang in a silly, girl-voice causing me to laugh out loud.

'Hey' I laughed slapping his hand away. 'Shut up'

'Who's that?' I heard Jason ask in a stern voice.

'Who? Oh, that's just Mark, we're out shopping'

'Who's Mark?' he continued and I could hear the anger in his voice. It was weird though, cause it was a tone that I had never heard him use with me before, unless he was talking about Tom of course.

'Eh, my cousin, I told you about him the other day' I explained and tried my hardest to suppress a giggle as Mark continued making faces across from me.

'Yeah, like I'm supposed to believe that' he spat rather roughly. 'Your lying to me, aren't you?'

'What?' I asked him surprised. 'What are you talking about? I'm not lying to you, why would I do that?'

Jason didn't reply for a couple of seconds, and at that moment I didn't really know what to expect him to say. 'Nothing, its nothing' he finally said. 'Are you still coming over tonight?'

'Yeah, of course' I said hesitantly. 'I'll be at your place around seven'

'Great, see you then' he said quickly before hanging up on me.

I put the phone down and just stared at it for a while, still not sure what just happened. 'That was weird' I said, more to myself than to Mark.

---

After dropping Mark and all my shopping of at home, I decided to walk to Jason's house, taking the time alone to think about everything. He was probably just having a bad day, I mean, everyone gets a bit irritable every now and then, right?

I decided that I was thinking to much about this, and pulled out my ipod instead, letting the music push away any disturbing thoughts that were previously trying to cloud my mind. I only took about half a song, before my spirits were lifted and I was skipping along the leaf-filled streets.

'Hey babe! How was your day?' I asked Jason with a smile as he opened the door for me.

'It was alright' he answered, not very enthusiastically, as he gave me a light hug. 'How was your day, with Mark…'

'Its was great, we had so much fun' I laughed as I remembered the day again.

'Well, I'm happy for you then' Jason spat as he turned away from me and walked to his room, leaving me standing, very confused by the door.

I slowly followed him and found him standing, with his back to the door, looking out the window.

'Jason…' I began but was cut off by his voice cutting through the room.

'I really though we had something special Erica' he started in a cold voice. 'I thought that you were my girlfriend, and when you're with someone, then you don't run around with other guys'

'But, I wasn't…'

'I heard you laughing with him Erica' he yelled and turned around to face me. 'Don't think I don't know when I'm being lied to'

'I'm not lying to you' I said, now feeling anger and a hint of fear race through me as well.

'Don't even try!' he yelled. 'It's the same thing all over again, isn't it? The same as with geek boy.. You leave me, your boyfriend, for another guy and then expect me to just wait for you. Well, I wont allow it, you are mine, and no one's going to change that!' he continued as he stepped closer, until his face was only inches away from mine.

'Jason…'I started but stopped when I realised that I had no idea what to say to him. His behaviour was something I had never seen or experienced before, and I had no idea how to handle it.

'You will not lie to me again, do you understand?!' he said as he grabbed my shoulder, forcing me to look at him. When I didn't reply he grabbed my other shoulder as well and pulled me even closer, the pain in my arms causing me to wince.

'I said, Do you understand!?'

'Yes, I understand, I understand. I wont lie to you again' I finally managed to get out.

'Good' he answered, but didn't release his grip on me. ' I am glad that we understand each other now'

'Yeah, me too'

'Now, I'm going to go out and get us some food and you'll wait here for me to get back, ok?'

'I'll wait here for you' I said with a small smile and as he let go of my arms, I let out a small sigh of relief. Jason gave me a quick kiss on my forehead before leaving me alone in his room.

I sat down on his bed and carefully ran my fingers over the now forming bruise on my left arm. I didn't know how to react to this, maybe it was only a one time thing, I mean, I wasn't honest with him, I probably deserved this, I thought to myself.

Somewhere, deep down inside, something was telling me that this was wrong. That I didn't deserve this, and strangely these words came in the voice of Tom.

I'm waiting for the perfect time to call you back

Cause I remember saying, don't want to know the truth

Can't handle that

And I tried to just forget you

But I don't know how

If only I knew

---

I didn't dwell on it for too long though, "I'm with Jason now, this is how its supposed to be" I thought before hearing the door opening again, and seconds later Jason walked into the room again.

'Hi babe' he said with a huge smile as he took a seat next to me. 'Sorry about before, I just don't want to loose you, that's all. Will you forgive me?'

I looked at his face before smiling back at him, pushing all the previous doubts out of my head. 'Of course I will'

---