Oh... my... GOD... (runs around in circles squealing until she hits a wall) I can't BELIEVE how nice you people are! I seriously did not expect to get so many reviews about this, thankyou SO SO much! (lines you all up and has a glomp-fest) One disadvantage to this is that I can't really write personal responses to reviews anymore, otherwise most of each chapter would be me responding to those heheheheee, but nonetheless I want everyone to know I'm quite hideously chuffed by all yourcomments XD! There are some things I want to clear up though that people have asked/mentioned -
Blackeelamgal9 - Looking back at what I wrote I can see how you might think I was trying to suggest Hogo had a demon inside her, but uhhh she doesn't lol! It's just meant to be that when she cancels the genjutsu that conceals her chakra it kind of gives her a buzz of power and she can go a little haywire - imagine like wearing a corset all the time (if you ever have heheheee XD) and then taking it off and feeling how easily you can breathe, so you think you can run for miles. THAT'S what I was trying to go for, lol. And her general dark attitude in that chapter was just meant to be showing how disillusioned she was being made to feel, especially when even Gaara doesn't seem to have faith in her.
RE. LEMON - Hehehee, I'm a loser, hadn't come across this terminology before, had to ask on a LJ Community page what it meant, even though I've read plenty of fan fic which is a damned Lemon Tree of naughtiness! Nonetheless, I can't say for sure whether I'm going for a lemon or not at this stage - it would be a bother just cause I'd have to move the story off but I never know where the Hell the story's going to go next! So I fear I must keep y'all in suspense (ducks, screams, runs etc from cutlery thrown her way)
So once more, thank youuuuuuuu and your reviews make me giggle so much XD! Hope you enjoy this chapter - hope no one's fed up of flashbacks tehehe. Also, I have an idea of showing a more humorous, funny side to Hogo that she's been supressing during all the battles and things, kind of as a counter-balance to how serious Gaara is, so that she can help him grow a bit as a person. Lemme know what you think :S. Enjoy!
Hogo scanned the darkened room briefly, having slipped into a kimono as swiftly as possible before hurrying to Ryoushin-sama's home across the moonlit paths. Whilst her home was impressive Ryoushin-sama's was even moreso, as befit the leader of their clan. She attempted to concentrate on the silk panellings across from her as she sat and waited for Ryoushin's arrival, their images rippling and contorting in the candlelight.
Her thoughts were barely coherent, she was so lost in a mess of emotions and gut instincts. She feared that in the state she was currently in the best in conversation she could offer Ryoushin-sama was non-communicative grunts. Her feeling of disillusionment had not left; it never would, she realised, with a coldly gripping clarity. Somehow she had been managing to maintain, perceiving this chaos as her village was ripped in two from a distance, as though it did not concern her even as she dedicated every second to preventing it. Maybe she had been too occupied to notice the bitter irony of every single alliance she had turning in on itself to destroy her. The very villagers that she was attempting to protect did not trust her - even if her father had never left, had stayed beside her, they didn't dare trust the woman who willingly spent all her time with Sabaku No Gaara. But he had gone. He had left her alone to deal with their home's annihilation.
She gritted her teeth against the anger that coursed through her. 'You would be ashamed of me father,' she thought darkly 'Seeing how easily I've been made to feel hopeless, how futile my efforts are. Maybe you trusted me enough to do this alone. I wish I had the faith you have in me, in myself.'.
And of course, there was Gaara. Her eyebrows drew together in the slightest of frowns as she thought back to only a few minutes ago, to that kiss. It had been sheer possessiveness at first, but then that was typical of Gaara, the assertion of his power, but then, it had changed. To what, she did not know, for the possessiveness had remained. It had seemed to be tempered by something else. She should expect nothing of it, she knew that much. If his reaction to their first kiss was any indicator, he would probably ignore her altogether for the next few days. But then, why had he kissed her again at all?
"I've decided, that I want another kiss."
She shook her head in self-ridicule. She was a real fool if she was trying to put logic around Gaara's actions. He worked on impulses - he did as he pleased. Certainly he was more mature than the crazed adolescent who killed people because he could, but his irrationality had not left, it had merely been controlled. It was her own fault if she got... caught up, in what he was doing. She felt her cheeks flush momentarily with embarassed anger. She had practically given him permission to use her as a toy with her admissions of loyalty. She had essentially told him she would be there beside him no matter what he did to her.
"Total idiot.." she seethed under her breath, clenching her hands "Why did you tell him that?"
Because it was true.
She smiled sadly to herself, feeling pathetic but irrevocably honest. It was an odd, bitter acknowledgement to make to yourself, that the only concrete thing in your life, the only constant, was a mentally unstable 'Monster'. It did not make for a safe constant, a man who would one minute kiss you as if he wanted to consume you, and would the next throw you several feet for touching him. And yet absurdly, the acknowledgement calmed her. She could almost laugh at herself. Stupid Hogo Jiyuujin, who had found sanctuary in the most idiotic place. Stupid little girl, who had fallen in love with a man like Gaara.
At the end of it all, it didn't matter, even as it mattered everything to her. She would continue as always. She would fight for him and for their village, and she would give up her own sleep so that he might have a reprieve from his demons. She would simply do it with the knowledge that she was in love with him locked up in the privacy of her mind. It didn't change anything, because there was no response he could give that would be satisfactory. Gaara of the Sand, with Love scarred into his forehead, did not know how to love her.
"Hogo, it is good of you to come at such short notice."
Such thoughts weren't permitted any more consideration as Hogo looked up at the arrival of Ryoushin and his two sons before bowing her head low again. "Of course Ryoushin-sama. I am here whenever the clan might need me."
"We know your loyalty Hogo. Which is why I know that I can tell you what I am about to. I only hope your... close involvement, will not hurt you too much."
Hogo kept her eyes demurely to the floor but was taut as a livewire with tension, every muscle bunched in readiness.
"Your father - my brother- Meirou Jiyuujin. Is with Baki.". Ryoushin paused to ensure that she had taken this in, and saw that she was trembling.
"Liar."
Ryoushin blinked mildly. "Excuse me?"
"I called you a liar, Ryoushin-sama. I will never, NEVER believe that my father..."
"Show some respect Hogo-san." Kouki snapped over Hogo's vehemant growl, and her amber eyes fixed on him with vicious purpose, her hands bunching the cloth of her kimono with intense agitation.
"I would rather my father was dead than believe what you are telling me..."
"You misunderstand me Hogo-kun. I forgive your rudeness because it is this very loyalty that makes me trust you." Ryoushin said calmly, firm but gentle reprove in his tone. Her eyes returned to his in bright challenge and he smiled slightly. Hot-headed. Impulsive. Not characteristics that the Jiyuujin clan were famous for, but then Hogo had never really done things their way.
"Your father joined their ranks in order to gain information about their plans. He informed me of his intentions before he left, and told me to keep this from you in case you did something rash such as follow him. He was quite adamant that your skills were needed here." Hogo positively sagged with relief, nervously smoothing the wrinkles in her kimono.
"However, we have heard nothing from him for quite some time. I have grown concerned that he may have been discovered. Which is why I reluctantly, must go against my brother's wishes, and ask for your aid in this matter."
She nodded determinedly, governed by the sole thought of helping her father. Her heart had clenched with total uncompromising panic and fear at the thought of him in danger. "What would you have me do?"
"It would seem unusual for any of us to venture out into the desert without a mission there. There is already too much suspicion regarding the Jiyuujin clan since Meirou left and did not return. You on the other hand, are accompanying the Konoha shinobi on their missions. We need you to separate from the group and locate Meirou at their base of operations." At this he slipped a folded piece of paper across the low table to her, which she took up and opened. On it was a precisely inked map of the surrounding terrain of desert, detailing the location of the missing-nins.
She looked up sharply at Ryoushin. "You have known where they are located this entire time." Ryoushin cleared his throat in discomfort, nodding grimly, "I have. Your father informed me when he ventured back. I have not seen him since - we agreed it would be best to keep this information secret until he could assess what the missing-nin were intending to do. When he did not return, I was reluctant to offer up information to the Elders that might incriminate Meirou. If he were found to be amidst the traitors, he would be treated as one of them."
"Why shouldn't I lead the Konoha shinobi to the camp with me...?"
"The result would be the same," Shiro interrupted, his gaze cast to the floor "Furthermore, you, and the rest of the Jiyuujin clan, would also be considered suspicious, in that we knew the whereabouts of the camp and had not told anyone." Hogo kept her gaze trained on Shiro for a moment of so, considering his words carefully. It was rare for Shiro to talk - he was a cool and distant figure that she had never entirely been able to understand, far more engaged in his studies than anything else.
"So... in order to go and find my father, I have to give up an opportunity to attack the missing-nin. And undoubtedly afterwards, they will increase their defences... maybe even move their base." she said slowly, spelling it out for herself, playing the words over her tongue for what they really were. The ramifications of this spiralling through her brain. If she did this...
"Hogo, the honour of the Jiyuujin is at irrepairable risk. You already know the level of distrust we are receiving. We cannot afford to have Meirou Jiyuujin captured with Baki and his followers. There will be another opportunity to defeat them, an opportunity that will be made more likely if we have the information your father has gathered. In the long run, this is for the greater good of our clan, and for our village."
She sighed wearily and closed her eyes for a long, long moment. Alliances were made to be in conflict with each other. But there had never been a question of whether she would do it.
Flashback...
He was loose again, then.
Either in bunkers or their own homes, all the sane people, the wise people of Suna, were hiding from the sandstorm, huddled against the shrieking winds and continuous, slithering hiss of sand hitting all it touched with vehemence. But it was not just the sandstorm that they hid from. Like a conduit to all that was primal in the man that exerted more control over himself that most of them could even comprehend, the storms spoke to him. The words were not beautiful. The words were all madness and dark broken pasts. Sometimes, he found it harder to not listen.
She knew that. She understood that even if he never said it.
"Hogo! Gaara is..." exclaimed Kankarou, struggling to slam the door behind him against the buffeting winds, finally getting the heavy bolt across and pulling his goggles up.
"I know Kankarou-san. I'll... I'll do what I can." she replied in a serious tone, wrapping her sandcloak tightly around her. With the sand as it was now, she would be flayed raw in minutes. Kankarou's expression was that of sheer incomprehension at her idiocy, his back still to the door, as he shook sand from off his clothing. "You'll do what exactly? You think I'm asking you to go out there and deal with him? I came to tell you he's heading here..."
Hogo swallowed at the sheer vivacity of the chakra she could feel, coming closer. It was ancient and immense and very, very hateful. Kankarou stepped back from the door, mumbling under his breath about psychotic little brothers and how he hadn't intended to get killed when he woke up this morning. Both of them flinched, Kankarou even reaching an arm across her in protectiveness, as the door was literally eviscerated by sand and wind, wooden shards splintering out in all directions, one cutting open Hogo's cheek.
He was only a dark sillouhuette in the blur of sand, but there was no one else it could be. Hogo knew she was being invited out to play in the sandstorm.
"Hogo..." Kankarou's voice was a rasping whisper, as if he feared anything louder would initiate movement from Gaara, "I know you're an idiot, but you're notthat much of an idiot. You don't want to deal with Gaara when he's like that."
Hogo kept her gaze on where Gaara's eyes would be, knowing how unwise it was to look away from any wild animal when it had you in its sights. It could take it for fear, it could take it for weakness. It could take it for you abandoning them. This was the Gaara she remembered from childhood, the savage maniac. She wondered where all the fear and hate had gone. She couldn't even touch it. Maybe because it had been his childhood too. He had had to exist with all these uncontrollable emotions, with no one daring approach him or feel for him, even at that age.
"Well who else is going to?" she answered simply, before straightening from her defensive crouch and walking to the doorway. Kankarou let her go - he knew better than to try and stop her.
She had been out in sandstorms before. She was accustomed to the slicing pain, so inappropriate for something as soft in stillness as sand was. Writhed into action by the wind, they felt like glass shards attempting to burrow into her skin. She attempted to focus, the wind pressing against her, bearing her backwards, but she forced chakra into her feet and pressed forward. Gaara had stepped back only enough to allow her to exit, and she could see him now, although the blurs of sand occasionally interrupted her view.
Those eyes, normally so guarded, were filled with sadistic mania, his mouth twisted into a sick grin. Maybe it was the only control he had left, that he had come for her, and not someone else, someone who would not be able to deal with him. Because he irrevocably, wanted to spill blood. She felt her heart lurch in sadness at how much control he normally maintained for them all. This was her duty.
"Take those off Hogo Jiyuujin. I want to see your eyes." his voice was a sibilant hiss, though his unfocused eyes were not looking at her; they were focused on the storm, the wind slicing through his red hair, giving him cold intimacy, a painful touch but a touch nonetheless.
She complied, removing her goggles, wincing as sand instantly shot into her eyelashes, blurring her vision, the sting of grains making her eyes water profusely. She blinked through it and squinted back at him, not knowing what to expect but knowing she must endure whatever he decided to do.
"Why did you come out to me?" he growled, his breathing increasing as his apparent aggravation did. The sand whipped around him like vicious animals, fighting for supremacy, snapping at his ankles.
There was no point in lying. Even in his maddest moments, Gaara was nothing if not honest. He did not know how to lie. "I didn't want you to be alone."
These clearly weren't the words he wanted to hear. His shoulders hunched into tense confusion as he gripped his head tightly, eyes squeezed shut, the sand in an utter frenzy around him, thrashing and snaking up about his body. Alone had been the wrong word to use, and yet the only word she could use. A slow growl that only grew until it became a despair-wrought wail tore from his throat as he flung his head back, eyes wide and full of pure animalistic insanity.
The wind buffeting her did not aid her speed, but she managed to cut through it as she dodged some flailing attacks of sand, nothing near as collected or organised as when Gaara was in control of himself. These were attacks of pure rage.
"DON'T MOCK ME!" he screamed over the howling of the wind, an accompaniment to his bitter misery. She knew she should use a genjutsu to incapacitate him, but they would hardly calm his mind even if they did stop him. What good was she to him if she couldn't actually help him?
"I wouldn't lie to you Gaara. I don't want you to be alone!" she repeated, her voice a forceful shout against the vicious screams of the storm. She grunted as a flurry of sand impacted her in the chest, like having ice-cold granite shot into her, and felt another coil snake up her ankle. She was suddenly painfully conscious of being watched and didn't doubt that dozens of Sunagakura villagers were peering through their windows at the strange sight of the dark-haired girl fighting the shukaku-container. Fighting a losing battle.
Growling in her own annoyance, she removed a kunai from her pouch and slashed through the coil that bound her ankle in a crushing grip, cutting herself in the process but not caring as she focused her chakra, feeling it swelling inside her, before flipping backwards and away from further attacks. Her speed increased as her own nameless hurts began to understand his through this god-forsaken storm. No wonder he liked to wander around in this agonising sandblasting mess. It made him feel alive. No wonder he wanted to fight her like this. There was something exhiliratingly painful about the insanity around her, in front of her. She could disappear into it altogether. A part of her could even be flattered that, in his crazed state, he wanted to share this with her. Even if he would try and kill her whilst doing so. She didn't know what the storm was saying to him, but she knew the howling winds were making her find some anger and hurt that would never die because it had been born through death. Deaths that had shaped who she was.
"I think you've been alone enough Gaara. I'm going to come closer now." she said, her voice wavering over the firmness she wanted. She couldn't keep thinking about her own sadness, she needed to harden it, focus it down to spear-point sharpness so that she could aid him in his.
"DON'T COME NEAR ME!" he roared, a further wave of sand rising up and shooting towards her. She parried against it with fluid determination, dodging the next and the next, until she was slowing.
Even in his state, he was confused, as to why was she slowing down, as to why she was allowing his attacks to get progressively closer. She wasn't that tired, he knew her better than that. The next dense sand attack hit her square in the chest with all the force of a tree trunk being thrown and she grunted, forced back several steps. She breathed thinly, trying to drag air back into her lungs, before looking up at him and smiling, and moving forward again.
The next blow, more glancing as she half-dodged it, caused white-hot pain to go lancing through herthat elicited from her a shriek of pain. Her shoulder had been dislocated. Closing her mouth against the ragged whimper of agony, she savagely wrammed herself bodily into the nearest wall, forcing it back into place. She smiled weakly, barely able to see out of her streaming, red eyes, caked with sand, sweat making it cling to her face. She still knew exactly where he was.
"You're making this very difficult Gaara. What d'you think I'm going to do when I get there? Or are you hoping to kill me first?"
Gaara's eyes widened in shock as comprehension cut through the dark, mind-drugging insanity he felt. She wasn't going to fight him. She would let him kill her when she could defend herself so easily if she wanted to. She wasn't going to give him the release he needed - she wouldn't let him test the boundaries of this harsh fury. But that was precisely it, she was. She just wouldn't stop him from destroying her completely.
"... Fight..." his voice was barely audible over the wind, a harsh but tremulous snarl as his entire form trembled.
She shook her head slowly, wearily, a faint smile still tracing her lips. "No."
"Fight me... FIGHT ME HOGO!" he screamed, swiping his arm up and across, sand tearing up at the motion and bearing down upon her raised head. She was still smiling, and had the fury not been over-taking him again to monumental proportions, he would have wondered if his insanity had not infected her.
"This is really going to hurt."
She was utterly flattened by the sand when it impacted with her, dropping her with lethal power and sending her scraping back across the street as though she had attempted to stand in the way of a charging bull. She was flung like a doll almost twenty feet back, and lay still.
Gaara's response was one of sheer, mute inactivity, his eyes alarmingly wide and never straying from her body. That broken body, a penflick of black in the dancing sand, cut through the frantic, chaotic misery like a knifeblade into his jugular.
If he had killed her... If he had.. Hogo...
Whenever he attempted to finish the thought his mind convulsed, like an instinctual gut-wrench away from it. He felt if he finished such things his control would disappear forever. He felt like he was teetering on the brink of the only despair that had ever meant anything. Yashamaru.
He let out a scream so heart-wrenching, so gutturally agonising, that the wind caught it up and carried it out into the storm like the sand's very own warcry. Villagers in the surrounding houses shuddered and clutched tighter together as Gaara sank to his knees, sand flying like a dervish around him. He was looking at his trembling hands in utter detached despair, muttering incomprehensibly to himself of loneliness, of pain, of wordless empty chaos that didn't belong to humans and yet lived inside him.
"...Gggaara... it's ok."
And then she sat up. Only a few inches before slumping down again, but enough for him to know she was alive. The storm continued to rage as Gaara clenched his skull, tighter, tighter, trying to rein in these sensations. What had he been doing? The shukaku's vehemence pulsed overwhelmingly through his veins for another moment and he let his arms drop, before creating a barrier of sand to keep the storm and wind away from him, and walking towards Hogo.
The subtlest of frowns graced his face, and his eyes were hard with self-loathing as he looked down at her, trying to temper his control even over these reactions as his heart lurched. She was coughing up blood, cuts marring her arms and face, tears in her dress showing bleeding pale skin. At least one of her ribs was broken, and her right arm definitely was.
Hogo fought up, up and out through the hot swathes of pain that were urging her towards unconsciousness, and instead revelled in this feeling, this immense pain that meant she couldn't think of anything else. It was unbearable; her body would literally not move for her, and she could only take in slow, panting breaths. This was being alive. This was worth it. She managed to crack her eyes open, feeling blood and sand rasp against her skin in protest as she did so, and looked up to see the familiarly controlled Gaara staring down at her.
"Do you wish to die, that you do such things?" he said softly, his voice trembling slightly. Not much, hardly perceptible to someone who was not familiar with the tiny alterations in his expression that betrayed Gaara. It would take a long while, for him to forgive himself for this, she knew that as well as she knew the pain she was feeling right now.
It hurt to talk. Her throat was slashed to savage, burning ribbons by the sand, her tongue dry as clay. "If necessary. Do you believe me yet, when I tell you you're not alone?"
He didn't answer, though his eyes wavered for all of two seconds before he concealed it. "I want you to stay away from me when there is next a sandstorm. This won't happen again." There was steely conviction in his tone, but she let out a coughing laugh nonetheless.
"Next sandstorm I'm going to be walking right beside you. Didn't you hear what I just said baka? Not... alone..." she murmured before passing out altogether.
I just wanted to touch you. I just wanted you to feel what its like to let someone hold you and know that they'll never leave. I just wanted...
Don't you ever get tired of fighting me? Can't I give you something more than that?
Hinata started as the door behind her slid open, but did not need to turn to know that it was Neji who had decided to join her. Her feet swung idly over the edge of the platform, occasionally skimming over the water of the ornamental pond, her reflection shimmering with ripples. His footsteps indicated his proximity and he finally sat down beside her, and for the first time ever Hinata didn't feel at all nervous in his presence. This was her environment after all, in the nighttime, with the silver of moonlight muting everything into pale semblances of themselves. There was something so ridiculously soothing about the nighttime, its unreal quality allowing her to feel as if she were everything she desired to be. Assertive, forceful, confident. But she was unconcerned about such things in the dream-world that the night gave her access to. In any other instance, she was sure she would have found the presence of someone else invasive. Neji being there, for whatever reason, wasn't. It felt like he was meant to be here.
"It's a beautiful night, isn't it?"
Neji looked at her in faint surprise, at the serene confidence in her tone as she smiled slightly up at the sky, toes dipping into the water. He gave a vague 'hmmmph' in the affirmative and her smile increased. Neji was hardly the type to wax lyrical with her about the beauty of the night. It was for this very reason, that when she felt him inch closer, his breath a hot sensation on her shoulder that she turned at such an inconvenient moment, finding her mouth within centimetres of his. She felt his breath quicken, saw his eyes widen in surprise, and attempted to launch herself backwards away from him in nervous panic. He would think she was trying to... Oh God he would laugh at her!
He gripped hold of her opposite shoulder, his arm around her, and steadied her. He hadn't realised how much his moving would unnerve her; that was the last thing he wanted. He had been almost mesmerised by the way she looked when she wasn't uncomfortable around him, those beautiful eyes not looking away from him, her skin glowing in the moonlight. Those eyes widened even further at how he was keeping her in place and he loosened his grip, not wanting to frighten her more. At least their mouths weren't so close anymore. He had felt that renowned control of his wavering at having her that near him.
"Do you know much about the stars, Hinata-sama?" he said, trying to create a semblance of normality between them, looking up at the night sky. She balked in surprise but shook her head, agonisingly conscious of Neji's hand on her shoulder.
What passed over the next half hour was not something that Hinata had ever expected to happen. Sitting in the coolly caressing moonlight, heads close together, eyes raised heaven-ward, as Neji-nii san, gave her an astronomy lesson. With all the meticulous care that he put into battle, he traced each correlation of stars with an arch of his finger, detailing its background and mythological importance as well as their navigational merit. Even as a part of her brain found this all absurdly strange, in the twilight world where she felt most comfortable, it felt natural. It felt... like it should always be this way. She asked occasional questions which he answered swiftly but without impatience, although she had always been adept at absorbing information so it was not often necessary. Her lips twitched in a smile at how like a teacher he was being, and yet how not. His focus was very consciously on her, on imparting the knowledge he had to offer, on... giving her something. It startled her at first, the idea that he was offering a present in the only way he knew how, in his stiff, controlled way. She was also aware that it was an attempt to put her at ease at the same time, which was just as touching.
There was a pause once more when Neji had said all that he could, but Hinata was accustomed to quiet and it did little to unnerve her now that she perceived what an effort Neji was making. She couldn't even fathom it - all she had ever felt from him was cool disinterest, even after the reconciliation with the main house. But then that was the treatment she had received for years from most of the clan, upon the realisation that she was a soft weakling. Neji had simply been the only person to state it so blatantly, as he had in the Chuunin exams.
She did not hate him for it. She knew his reasons, could even comprehend why they would be so bitterly focused upon her, the useless heir when he could have become the finest leader the Hyuuga's had ever known.
Despite all that, he had given her an opportunity. The words still sang inside her head, words that no one had bothered to direct at her for years. 'Prove yourself'. Certainly she was alive now after their mission, but she did not know if that qualified as proving herself.
She had been so utterly immersed in her thoughts that it took a while for her to notice that Neji had cleared his throat in discomfort, clearly prepatory to speak once more.
"Hinata-sama... You... did very well in the mission today. I would like to congratulate you."
The words came out stilted and strained but still had the power to render Hinata speechless. All she could do for a moment or two was simply stare at his profile, his jaw set in a backlash of frigidity against his kind words, an arc of his dark hair jet black against his skin. As he tensed even further she realised how much she was adding to his embarassment by simply gawping at him. She couldn't swear to it, but she thought she saw the faint accents of a blush highlighting his cheekbones.
"Nneji-nii san... thank you.. but I really did not do much..." she stammered, finding her tongue again.
"That's not true," he interrupted, before softening his tone again, still evading her gaze whilst trying to act as if he wasn't. "You aided in placating Gaara, and performed well in battle. I was... most impressed."
What an understatement. Neji mentally cursed the social decorum that had locked up his ability to express anything bordering on enthusiasm. But perhaps it was for the best; he did not want to terrify Hinata, and he was quite sure that declaring he had not been able to stop looking at her, that she was breathtakingly beautiful in combat, would have done just that. He recalled Hogo telling him to lighten up and groaned inwardly. It was easy for her - she seemed certifiable, and her constant arguments with someone as powerful as Gaara did little to counter that.
Hinata clenched her hands together tightly as a smile split her face into sheer delight. It was all she could do to stop herself from throwing herself at Neji in a hug, but she didn't dare. It felt like someone had illuminated the nightsky for her, had filled all surroundings with warm tingling enjoyment. His words weren't much, but then she didn't need much after having received so little before.
"Thank you. Thank you... Neji."
It was the closest she dared to the hug she wished to give. After all she barely even hugged Kiba and Shino, and they were her dearest friends. Just his name - no relation to either of them as Hyuugas. As equals. She dreaded that he might think it presumptuous as he stilled altogether, his breath cutting short, before slowly turning to lock gazes with her.
"Hinata. I underestimated you. I - will not do so again."
Her eyes widened, though she could not find the strength to look away from the intense sincerity in his eyes. Praise, and the closest thing a proud man like Neji could give to an apology, in one night. And he had called her Hinata. Somewhere in the back of her brain she noted how close they were again - it would never have occurred to her one week ago, that she would be sitting this close to Neji. Feeling his breath gently wafting across her face, an accompaniment to the breeze.
"I.. prefer it when you say my name like that." she ventured in the tremulous silence, feeling his gaze shift to her mouth as she spoke, her heart lurching uncomfortably. The contours of his face softened slightly in faint amusement, his eyes not moving from her mouth.
"Hinata." he repeated, as if testing how it tasted. She smiled sweetly by way of encouragement, nodding slightly.
"Neji."
His eyes shot up to meet her again, burning with that intensity that stilled her thoughts, imprisoned her breath in her lungs.
"Hina-chan."
It was just an endearment. It was just her name. Why did it feel like they were both dancing around something much more serious than that?
"Well this looks cosy."
It took a while for the sarcastic purr to fully resonate through the stillness in Hinata's brain, but in that time Neji had already shot round and upright, a dart of precise strength and agility. His shadow cut over her vision as he stood over her, but nonetheless she recognised that voice.
"Kouki. What brings you out so late at night?" Neji said, and Hinata would have laughed at the thin veneer of civility if she hadn't been petrified by the cutting iciness beneath it.
"I was considering asking you the same thing, but I think I can imagine myself." sneered Kouki derisively, and Hinata felt the pulsing of Neji's chakra as Kouki swaggered past him, to crouch down beside her.
"I do hope your cousin isn't... bothering you, or detracting from your stay here, Hina-chan." he said, his voice dripping a sarcastic sweetness that Hinata couldn't help but be made uncomfortable by. Indignant annoyance battled inside her against both her diplomacy and her gentle nature. She despised being stuck in the middle of whatever machismo battle these two had decided upon, and she didn't even understand why she was. And such a suggestion, that Neji was the one that was bothering her... She felt her cheeks heat up as she realised how compromising it must have looked between them, if he was suggesting such things.
"Neji is doing no such thing Kouki-dono!" she protested, subliminally feeling the violent oscillations in Neji's chakra lessen slightly at her defense of him. Kouki let out a mock-tutting noise, a sly smile spreading across his face "Not that I could blame him for trying, you being such a beautiful creature.". Hinata found herself vaguely disgusted by the loose ease with which such charming words came to him - how many girls had he said them to, that he was so comfortable with them? He straightened and returned his attention to Neji, the smile hardening into playful maliciousness.
"I'm very curious, to see what that Byakugan of yours is good for, Neji-kun." he said lightly, taking a short leap backwards to create a defensive distance between them. Hinata bolted upright as Neji's grin grew equally cruel.
"Well who am I to refuse the request of my gracious host?" he replied.
"Neji..."
"Stay back Hinata." he interrupted, his voice grating and harsh. She remembered the only time she had seen him lose his cool like this. On this occasion there were no jounin to prevent him, and she was more than positive that attacking the heir of the Jiyuujin clan would be diplomatic suicide.
When she saw him initiate the byakugan, muscles bunched and prepatory to move into a stance, she moved more impulsively than she thought was possible for her, leaping round with all the inherent grace that she had honed into deadly skill. Even as he was raising his right palm she was moving underneath it, back bowed in an agile arc so that her chin didn't even graze his arm as she pivoted on her toes with a twist of her hips, rocketing herself upright once more. Now facing him her right arm easily gripped hold of his elbow, the fingers on her left hand lodged into the base of Neji's throat, rendering his attacking arm as well as the rest of him at least temporarily immobile.
Confused, his eyes finally focused on her in shock and something resembling hurt and admiration fighting for supremacy. She avoided his gaze, knowing he would instantly see how unwilling she was to actually hurt him.
"Hinata..." he said, the name filling the sudden tension in the air and making her cringe slightly.
"I'm sorry Neji but... you mustn't fight him. We are guests here, it would cause all kinds of trouble." she murmured, embarassed by the sound of her own voice. She felt like she had betrayed him, betrayed the intimacy of only a few moments before that had felt, she could not deny, more wonderful than anything she had expected.
"My, my. Looks like your little cousin needs to defend you Neji-kun. You really are a coward." taunted Kouki in a sing-song voice, and she knew that would be more than enough to set Neji off again. His eyes narrowed in fury as he let out his breath in a snarl, flipping his arm over hers so that her grip was forced loose and then physically throwing her out of the path of the fight before launching forwards.
The next few minutes were a blur of shifting shadows and the stealthy whistling of air being bulleted through before Hinata found herself encased in warmth, her arms wrapped tightly around a warm figure. She kept her eyes closed, burrowing her face in his back and clinging on as tight as she dared despite the tense muscles that still threatened violence.
"What exactly, do you think you're doing with our guests Kouki-san?" She recognised the voice to be Hogo's, and felt the unmistakeable presence of her chakra rippling ahead of her. Undoubtedly it was her who had stopped the advance of Kouki.
"What's going on out here, Hinata, Neji are you... Oh..."
At Naruto's voice she almost leapt away from the warm sanctuary of the grip she had on Neji, but the sensation of his muscles tightening even further in response to her movement stopped her. Amazement coursed through her. Did he not want her to...? Pure impulsive instinct had driven her into this position and she felt her heart do a thousand kamikaze dives of embarassment as she felt the strength of Neji's arms, the lean musculature of his stomach beneath her hands. She had her hands on his stomach... Hoping the ground would open up and swallow her, she didn't dare open her eyes, fingers shifting nervously on his torso. She felt him twitch slightly in response even beneath his shirt and decided it would be best to keep still. Maybe he would forget she was there all together if she just, kept still.
"Hogo, this is none of your business. I intend to fight this fool, so you will let go of me." His voice spoke of cool authority that Hinata knew all too well Hogo wouldn't take kindly to.
"It's all my business. I brought these people here, and I won't have you disrespecting them. For the heir to the Jiyuujins, you display a pathetic amount of decorum cousin." Hogo lightly replied, though she was undoubtedly deadly serious.
Neji had not moved this entire time, but she felt his skin prickle as Gaara's enormous chakra encroached upon the group. "We fight to protect the alliance between Konoha and Sunagakura, and yet you want to risk that to solve your petty issue with your masculinity? Go take a cold shower, Kouki Jiyuujin."
Off behind them to her left, Hinata heard Naruto begin to laugh as quietly as he could manage - which wasn't very quietly - at the brutal honesty of Gaara's comment. She heard the noisy and angry departure of Kouki and realised with spreading dread, that the keeping very still and praying Neji would forget she was there strategy, wouldn't hold up anymore. Slowly she lifted her head, resting her forehead on his shoulderblade as gently as possible.
"Please calm down, Neji..." she said quietly, not wanting to embarass him by being overheard. She felt his chest rise as he let out a long, ponderous breath, before stepping out from her arms, and walking off towards his room. Even as Naruto came over to her to ensure she was ok, the majority of her brain was telling her that she had made a big mistake in whatever issue, her and Neji had been dancing around.
I'm sooooooorrry the NejiHina stuff is going sooo slowly, but y'know how it is, she's shy like a shy thing, he's uptight like an uptight thing. There's a reason so many people write them with Neji getting drunk at some point! Anyways, RnR my loves XD! XX