Authors Note: Sorry for the long wait. Trust me Senior year of highschool is tough espcially with my personal issues and me applying to colleges and trying to keep my grades up. It just sucks sometimes.^^ I've just been so busy. I update when I have time or if I have any at all.^^

Anyways, nothing has changed. Cartman's still with Mello and Matt.

Enjoy the story!^^

Chapter 5- "Toys And One Hell Of A Smakdown."

Cartman looked straight at Mello and munched on Chessy Poofs. Cartman couldn't believe That Matt and Mello would go to the next level and bring in another person to deal with him. By the looks of it, Cartman was on a roll and there was no stopping him unless Near had other plans to make sure Cartman was buttered roll ready to be served. Mello decided to sit around and wait until Near arrived. He played dominoes with Matt as Cartman began watching tv, Mello got mad instantly because Cartman turned it up way too loud.

"Turn it down you runt!" yelled Mello. "All we need is our neighbors complaning and getting the police involved."

Cartman did as he was told but not without acting up. "So, what's Near like? What a stupid name you all have such stupid names!"

Mello hit the table as the dominoes flung themselves off. Cartman knew he struck a bad nerve because he never saw Mello this mad before. Mello got up to corner Cartman as Cartman backed up and got himself trapped. This was about to turn ugly quickly. Cartman just looked in awe over the anger of his father. Matt just stood there knowing Mello was about to go haywire with anger. Matt braced himself for the worst.

"Listen kid..." Mello said surpringsly calm, "Those aren't are real names, ok? We have to be under aliases because of Kira. All he needs is a name and he can kill at anytime. If he learns them then guess what? Your daddies die.'

Cartman stepped back a little to show he was shocked but he covered his emotions. "That's still stupid. How did Kira get all this power? Can we trade or something because I have people I want to see be taken out."

Mello sighed, "I guess you're telling me, you don't care if Matt and I live or not. We're the ones who put up with your terrible butt from the start."

Cartman blocked his true emotion. "I-I didn't say that....I-I just didn't know it could happen just like that! Stop making me feel sorray!"

Matt looked at Cartman, "Boss....I think Cartman is afraid to lose us. Look at his eyes, you can tell he would be devestated the day we keel over."

Cartman growled, "Stop it! It could happen to both of you! You'll curse yourselves! STOP IT! Goddamn it, stop it!"

Mello got straight in Cartman's face, "Stop acting like a spoiled runt then! Matt and I are on this case and so is everyone else. We could all die and it's back to the orphange for you where you'll have nothing!"

Cartman felt tears come one but he glared. "Stop make me feel sorray and guilty! I still love you guys, seriously stop with this."

Mello said no more, picked up his dominoes, and started all over with Matt. Cartman just sat there feeling so guilty and not knowing that they could all die any minute because of Kira. Cartman just didn't know what was at stake for everyone and he needed to apperciate what he had. He had the hardest time doing it since he had no father in his life and his mom was out doing things she liked to do. Cartman's old feelings of wanting and attention returned. He wanted Mello and Matt to pay attention and take him places again. Cartman had lost that prilevge due the incident with the broken glasses of pickles and stealing from the store. Mello didn't feel the need to take Cartman back out in public again, so he didn't.

Mello spoke again. "Thinking twice about what you did, huh? Cartman I always say it. Matt and I had no one in our lives too."

Cartman began crying all of sudden. "Goddamn it! I want to go out with you guys again, I want to go on vacation, I want you guys to be happy and not miserable, please? PLEASE? I'm sorray!!!!"

Mello sighed a very long sigh. Something Matt hadn't seen in so long. "Listen brat....You think Matt and I like carrying on like hot blooded animals? No. We just want you to behave. The reason we stopped is because you caused too much trouble in public."

Matt sighed. "You know for a horrible kid, you aren't too bad, Cartman. I actually like having you around..."

Cartman stopped sniffliing. "You mean you don't hate me. You still want me?"

Matt and Mello answered. "Yeah."

Cartman smiled. "Can I still act up on Near? Can I? Can I? Can I? Please Mella, you said you wanted to see him suffer."

Mello smirked, "You know what? Ok. I want you to be on your worst behavior. I want to see Near get a little dose of revenge. Honestly I do."

Matt laughed. "Boss you're terrible."

X X X

A few hours later into the evening, a knock was heard as Cartman ran to the door. Cartman opened the door to see a white haired, gray eyed, boy standing infront of the door. Cartman looked oddly at Near as Near brought in huge chest of toys and documents to go over the Kira case. Cartman sat down, he was ready to raise hell and Near wouldn't really expect it because Near thought Mello and Matt were doing everything wrong already. Clearly that wasn't the case at all and Cartman would teach Near a thing or two about revenge. Cartman sat down as Near made his way onto the floor and got out a train. Cartman immeditely saw a chance to attack and waited a little long to strike.

Near looked at Cartman and then back at Mello and Matt. "Honestly, I couldn't even believe it...You two take care of a child?"

Mello smirked angerily, "Well, you take him for a couple months. I know I'll be visiting your burial sight then."

Near acted blunt to the response, "I wouldn't take him. How could I raise a child if I'm still one? Anyways, I thought this was going to be about Kira..."

Mello interuppted, "You know, let's let this be about Cartman. Kira can wait. He hasn't killed anyone in awhile anyway."

Near rolled his eyes, "This isn't about Cartman. We need to talk about Kira."

Mello cockiness began showing out, "You know Near, I was always number two to you but I at least I'm raising a child. You could never do it."

Near ignored Mello and began racing the train all around the house. Cartman began to get ansty, he really wanted to steal the train from Near. He got up and began inching over towards Near as Mello put his feet on the desk in cocky manner.

"Come on, Near. You're so boring, I called you because I wanted you to see my new son." Mello laughed. "Isn't he the greatest, I knew I picked the right one."

Near looked up at Mello, "Being cocky isn't going to get you anywhere. I don't know what's wrong with you."

Mello snickered, "Oh, it's nothing. I'm just having a little fun that's all."

Near turned his back as Cartman dove in and captured Nears train and broke five out of six trains. Near felt so irked that Cartman would do that but he decided to be blunt like always and took out his toy soilders. Near lined them up in rows of eight while Cartman knocked them all down with a bouncy ball causing Near to start over. Near started lowering his eyebrows a little. He was getting very annoyed but tried to be dark and not see through.

"Man, when is going to crack?" Cartman pushed Near on the ground, "I'm Cartman and you must be Mr. Neary-Near!"

"Don't you ever say that again..." Near looked away, "Get him away from me."

Mello laughed, "Like I'm going to do that. He's going torture you and I get to watch. This I have to see!"

Near looked at Mello blankly, "Honestly, we couldn't be best friends if we tried. You're so cruel."

Cartman grabbed Near's underwear and put it over Near's head. Near got up forgetting he couldn't see and slipped on the wet floor and landed headfirst into a bunch of teddy bears. Cartman and Mello fell on the floor laughing as they pointed. When Near could finally see, he blushed a lot. That was the first time anyone saw Near break his code of being blunt. He continued to hide behind the wall and stay out of sight. Mello continued laughing so hard he couldn't breathe, Cartman laughed so much he broke another of Near's toys by mistake.

Mello got up, "I-I-I'm going to the bathtoom. I-I-I'm about to piss myself so bad!"

Near was boiling up but his emotion of feeling embarassed got in the way of his thinking. "Clarence's was so much worse. He liked us to have our panties in a bunch and he meant it. Is he really this bad?"

Matt laughed, "Of course. He was the worst one at the orphange. They were so happy to give him to us that day. I saw them celebrating just after we left!"

Near crawled back out to play with Cartman's ball, "This is so rude. I thought he was better behaved. I was wrong since he lives with bunch of no good thugs."

Cartman grabbed the ball from Near and got a bucket full of balls and poured them down Near's pants. "Now Near has bigger balls than before! He's got the hugest honking dick in town, don't you, Near?"

Near looked at Cartman, "You dirty little...."

Cartman busted out laughing, "Little? Look at yourself, you're nineteen and you're still on formula and cookies! I'm nine and I eat like a big boy!"

Near reacted meanly, "You're a fat fat fat fat obese tiny....."

No one else could hear the rest of what Near said because of Mello's loud and obnoxious laughing. Cartman unfortunately heard it, and it was not a very nice thing Near had said. Cartman looked down and then back up at Near. Yes, Cartman's ding-a-ling was insulted. Cartman coudn't believe Near would stoop that low but Near kept going and Cartman stopped laughing. It was over now, and Cartman realized that Near had pushed it all too far. Cartman looked at Mello who stopped laughing abrubtly. Cartman ran over to Mello screaming and cursing about what Near had done.

"Mella! He insulted my dick! He said it was too small!" Cartman lunged at Near. "You are so getting it, bitch!"

Mello looked at Near. "We're supposed to have manners? Look at your damn self, I'm so glad Cartman acted up on you."

Near almost scoffed but got up, "Honestly Mello, I don't know how you handle such a pig like Cartman."

"PIG?!?!" Cartman jumped on Near's back and refused to let go. "You either stopping being rude or the bear gets it!"

Near looked at soft cuddly teddy bear and decided to stop. With Cartman, you just couldn't win the argument. You just had to let him win just like he always did and let him have his own way. It made Near so mad but he decided to stop insulting the kid and just move on. Mello was getting sick of Near's presence, Mello got what he wanted but he still wanted more revenge. His money had run out though. He gave the last twenty to Cartman so he would act up and cause hell on Near. It was over and Cartman was way too tired to keep up his bad behavior anymore.

Near played with building blocks and looked at Cartman who was gasping. "Tired? I can see that you are tiring out."

Cartman glared, "Shut-up, you stupid baby! I just didn't get enough sleep today, that's why! Yeah, that's why!"

Near sighed and just continued playing with his blocks. "Would you like to play, Cartman? I could use someone to play with."

"Go to hell you damn kid!" cursed Cartman. "Why would I want to when you're being so mean yourself?!?! Just get out! I hate you, Near!"

Near almost smiled. "I thought you'd never ask." Near turned to Mello. "We'll talk about Kira another time. You seem too busy being a father to care about the case anymore. I will continue trying to beat him."

Mello grabbed Near by the collar. "I'm too busy raising a child right now! I try to do both but I don't want Cartman to feel the same lonliness we felt as children! He deserves better!"

Near nodded a little. "It is true."

Matt put out his cigarette. "Near, we try the best we can. Cartman knows this is mafia, ok? He knows we aren't perfect."

Mello also spoke. "Listen, this isn't about who can be a better parent. This is about family. About Cartman's feelings."

Near agreed, he just didn't show it. "I'm sure you'll do what's right for him. The kid sure has a hand for revenge."

Mello and Cartman couldn't believe it. Near saw right through the plan. They looked at each other and back at Near. Near giggled a little bit then packed up his bags. Mello was so pissed that he went to his office and slammed the door. He wouldn't be out for an hour. Cartman looked at Near who just stared at Cartman. Cartman glared and threw a water ballon at Near, Near was all wet.

"Get out of my damn house!" Cartman barked. "I never want to see you again!"

Matt looked at Near. "You heard the boss. Out."

Cartman looked at Matt. "Boss? You really mean it, Matt? You called me boss!"

Matt smiled. "Sure, just keep between me and you. Mello would be pissed if he found out."

Near looked at Cartman. "You're one rotten kid but I do like you."

Cartman lost it. "I cause you pain and suffering all day and that's all you have to say?!?!"

With that, Near walked to his limo and was off into the distance. Cartman felt an odd shaped box under his foot. He took up and opened it up to to see a toy gun inside. The card was adressed to Cartman from Near. Cartman couldn't believe it.

"Me? He left this for me?"

Matt nodded. "I guess he took a liking to you. Near doesn't normally do that."

Cartman looked at the gun. He began to learn that no matter how rotten he was. People still actualled cared for him and his disaturous ways. It made Cartman feel like he was accepted. He ran upstairs to Mello to show Mello what he got but he was shouting, "Daddy".

End of Chapter 5. Please R&R.