Dis-claim-er - Neither I nor any of the other authors hold any rights or privileges to the characters used in this story. Copyright is given to the creators/holders where applicable. Only thing I (might) have any hold on is the idea to create this, and it's probably a jointly held idea anyway.

"Next case..."

"One...Naruto Uzumaki vs. Orochimaru."

"What're the charges, Mac?"

"Um, something about... kidnapping, idea stealing and bodily harm."

"Ooohkay..." Harry blinked as he looked at the defendants. "Michael Jackson?"

"...If someone asks me that again, I'll shove some of my snakes so far up their..."

"Hey now," Bull stood up, yelling. "There are children here," he said, pointing at Naruto.

Harry nodded. "Thank you, Bull. Now, Mr. Uzumaki, you claim that Orochimaru here kidnapped someone..."

"My friend, Sasuke."

"Oh, COME on! He tried to kill you on several occasions! What kind of friend would do that?"

Suddenly, several people stood up in the audience at the same time.

Harry banged his gavel several times. "Okay, you guys, sit down right now!"

Ranma, Nanoha, Goku, and Kenpachi all groaned, but sat down.

"Okay, so he tried to kill your homicidal best friend, got it. Stealing ideas... What?"

"Yeah, it was MY idea to make those awesomely weird summons."

"I got the patent, I get the credit!"

"Clucky says otherwise."

Meanwhile, back at Orochimaru's base...

"ARRRRGH! STUPID LOG!"

Back in the court...

"And...Bodily harm?"

"...He touched me in a bad place."

"I DID NOT YOU *(#$%&#*($&(*&#$(*&#$ PIECE OF (*#&!!!"

Of course, the easiest way to get on the bad side of Bull is to do something bad to children, so Orochimaru already had one strike against him for appearing on a charge related to children. The second was the first time he swore at Naruto. So, when he went on a tangent the final time, it wasn't a big surprise to most of the assembled court when Bull finally put the tips and tricks he'd learnt as a bailiff in Judge Stone's court.

"HOLY! Are...are his ears actually pinned behind his head?" gasped a suddenly greenish Nanoha

"Yep...though pulling his tongue out and hog tying him is a bit new," agreed Roz

"Alright Bull, that's enough," said Judge Stone as he called for order, "he's been handled just fine."

"Hey, Roz, how often do we get to judge real criminals anyway?"

"Oh, okay," acquiesced Bull as he let the pale Snake Sannin go.

"Since we started handling the cases no one wants during the day?" asked Roz, "Seems to be more and more often, anyway..."

"Heh heh, Moo," said Kakashi as he studied the milk carton in his hands.

Harry rubbed his eyes. "Mr. Orochimaru, I'm sentencing you to 50 years in prison. Get him out of here."

"With pleasure." Bull smiled and grabbed Orochimaru, before throwing him out of the room, and into the wall across the hall.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAA-ACK!"

"Next case."

"People vs. the residents of the Hinata Girls Dormitory, your Honor," said Mac as he handed the case file to Harry, "this one'll be a doozy, sir..."

Harry grabbed the file, but dropped it on the floor. "This is heavy."

"Yes sir..."

"No, seriously, that was heavy. How did you lift it?"

"Mr. Saotome's been offering lessons at the Bailiff's Lounge for anyone who wants them," offered Mac coolly, "if we'd had anyone like him at Vietnam, hoo-wee..."

"Really?"

"Sir, if Ranma had been on our side during Vietnam, we would've won that war, taken over China, Russia and North Korea in a few months."

"...Really?"

"I think so at least."

"Right, anyway, what's this case about?"

Dan straightened his tie as he grinned lecherously, "Your Honor, the People are charging the residents as a whole instead of individually for destruction of multiple hotels, residences, and vehicles, as well as various assault charges and public indecency violations."

"Let's see... Naru...punch? What the?"

"Your Honor," Christine interrupted, "my clients were simply overly enthusiastic about being in the city. The indecency violations stem from Miss Narusegawa's eager defense of herself and others from lecherous individuals, not unlike Dan, which simply got out of hand."

"Okay, but did she have to put Mr. Urashima through all the physical trauma?" asked Harry

"Aww, young love," Bull gushed, "it's so sweet to see two kids falling in love, getting closer, having such a romantic time..."

Roz just rolled her eyes with a muttered, "Oh, Lord..."

Someone stood up in the audience. "It's so true." Everyone turned to see a large man in a dirty gi nodding sagely. "It's just like my son and his..." He was silenced by a yellow ball of Ki smacking into his head and sending him through the wall.

"Damn it, Pops! Shut up!"

"ORDER! ORDER!" Harry bellowed, "Mr. Saotome, please refrain from sending other members of the Gallery through the walls, if you would. While Art loves the extra work, he's only one man."

"Sorry, judge, but that man's an idiot."

"If we hit everyone who was an idiot, Mr. Saotome, the world would be a lot more violent."

"Too true, your Honor, too true,"

"Okay, so... Exactly what did Mr. Urashima do to you, Miss Nagesawa to deserve to get hit as hard as you reportedly hit him?"

"He groped me in the hallway while I was trying to dry off from the shower!" growled the upset brunette, "He's always falling on us like that..."

"So, he fell... Perhaps he tripped over something?"

"No one's that clumsy."

"WAGH!"

Everyone turned to blink as Keitaro fell... Right onto Motoko, causing them both to fall... With his hands on her ass.

"Impressive." Dan muttered as he looked down. "Oh, that's where I left my briefcase."

"URA-SHI-MA!" Motoko bellowed, "REMOVE YOUR HANDS BEFORE I REMOVE THEM FOR YOU!"

"ORDER! ORDER!" Harry hit his gavel down several times. "DAN! Why was your briefcase there?"

"Uh, I forgot it was there, Harry."

"Okay," drawled Harry, "Ms. Sullivan, it is pretty obvious that Mr. Urashima is a clumsy individual; however, that does not excuse their destruction of...Carnegie Hall while Mel Torme was performing?!?!"

Both Dan and Christine could only look at Judge Stone and Christine's clients before muttering a low, "Oh crap..."

Bull looked at Roz, both paling as they jumped into the jury box for cover.

"All right, all right, calm down guys," Harry admonished, "Ladies, especially the ones who are old enough to know better, you should know better than to attack someone for something that could be beyond their control. That said; the of-age residents are sentenced to thirty days community service repairing the damaged property and anger management classes, while the minors are free to go with the stipulation that Mr. Urashima and his cousin continue to take care of them."

Everyone nodded and was quickly led out of the room.

"Wow, Harry, you were really calm there."

"Excuse me, Mac; I need to go to my chambers for awhile." He quickly got up and walked out of the room.

"Well, that could have gone worse." Dan muttered.

"ARRRRRRRRRRGH!"

---I have a feeling that we did a more or less fanon portrayal of Love Hina's cast this time...and we didn't even make any melon jokes...or make Shinobu go "Auuu..."