TADAAA! I have returned, do not hate me! I have been trying v. hard with this chapter, I kept getting unhappy with bits and redoing them. There are ickle vignettes of violence (ooh so many v's) before one of the full-out battles that is coming up. People must lemme know anything they don't like/do like so I can keep it up XD. But yeeeeees..
AnimeSiren - Yep, he's having a mighty ol' hissy at her teeheee. Thankee, I thought I couldn't forget what a cold fish Neji was, so it made sense to moi XD.
Cheh - Heeeheee now I have an image of Hinata chasing after Neji with a net to 'get her man' mwahahhaaa. He's a lil too preoccupied with standing methinks. Oh well, I'll sort him (evil cackles) Hogo is just gonna have to run very very fast away from Gaara lol.
Blackeelamgal9 - Yays! XD Nice to know I'm worth the wait, I'll try not to disappoint!
Nic'Sim87 - See your review scared me, cuz either you're saying 'Oh shit, what's gonna happen now' Or you're saying 'Oh shit, this is shit'. If it's the second uhhhh, live with it? If it's the first, noooow you shall know!
Iheartchopsticks - MORE! Here it is! XD Can't tell you whats gonna happen to Hogo, that'd spoil everything! (bounces off laughing)
Linny-shindou - Wow, I'm soo flattered! Thanks so much, hope I don't let the side down (hides just in case)
Drake-Azathoth - Hehehee I'm always glad to learn my writing makes people want to hit the characters XD. A good effect I feel! Yeh I didn't think Neji would just throw himself into something, he's a little too uptight and cautious for that. Glad you're liking it.
Outlawpoet - So long as I'm doing them both well I'm a happy bunny, so thanks for letting me know! Writing complex characters is fun even if I do mess up from time to time hehe.
Lissy - Yays, glad you like the developments! That's exactly why I love Gaara, he's such a messed up lil deadly fruitcake! Great fun to write hehe. Hope you continue to enjoy.
Kiramysticmoonkitsune - Thankee kindly, hope you like the next offering XD.
Enjoy, and NO throwing of household implements if you don't!
This is the pathway to where my life ends. Dark and twitching with nervous shadows, each step gives me further distance from a life that will never be mine again. With each step I nail my coffin shut as I watch Jun's back, and follow him to my father. Nothing will ever be the same - I may reverse but it will change nothing. So I can only go forward. The choice might have seemed mine, but it was never so. He is my father. He is my father, and so I shall forsake every other thing I love for him, and for our clan.
He was caged in, like an animal. But of course he was, he was a deadly enemy. The manacles that held his arms and ankles were wrapped in explosive tags, the complex codes seething with quiet power. Even though his head was hooded in a dark cloth sack, he looked up at their approaching footsteps. Hogo had never seen his broad shoulder slumped in such defeat. He was on his knees. Her father, on his knees, trussed up, broken and bleeding. She knew she should be grateful he was alive. She was lucky they had not killed him when he had not revealed how much information he had given to Sunagakure, torturing him in the hope of his submission. Knowing such things didn't mean anything. It required all of her willpower not to blow the doors open, exploding tags and keys be damned. Jun silently disengaged the tags, unlocking each of the heavy bolts with a slow, respectful pace, glancing guiltily at her as she continued to stare at her father, unblinking. As she moved to enter the cage Jun gently gripped her upper arm, stalling her.
"Hogo, I..." he began, unable to meet her fiercely unwavering gaze. Painfully he dragged his eyes up to meet hers "I'm sorry... I wish you luck." With that he turned and left, his step slow and weary.
Meirou Jiyuujin remained utterly still as his daughter walked slowly towards him, not even lifting his head as her shadow cast over him for several minutes. He let out a soft sigh, barely an escaping of breath, and she felt her heart squeeze tight inside her
"Hogo. I hoped you'd never see me like this."
A dark, indescribable feeling was bubbling up inside Hogo's chest, thick and dark and cloying. It left no room for words as she struggled to breathe around it, a sob threatening to erupt from the confines of her stomach. Saying nothing, she slowly gripped the edge of the sack over her father's head, dragging it down with the motion of her hand, material slipping and bunching. She saw him visibly tense "Hogo..." he began warningly, a catching whisper, as the sack fell from his mussed head entirely. It dropped to the floor unnoticed as Hogo made a gagging noise, something between a whimper and choked scream.
Hogo had her mother's eyes. It was a painful reminder, for both her and her father, of what was gone, brought to life every day in the way she moved, spoke and smiled, just like her. But she was not her, had never been capable of the degree of sweetness and softness that was nonetheless wrapped around a core of pure steel. It was this soft nature that she knew her father had fallen in love with, this quiet calm. And Hogo knew that it was the wisdom and strength of character that her mother had seen in her father's eyes, that had made her love him. She stared at the black sockets, gore thick and clotted red staining cheeks that were white and pale. Black red and white. Black red and white. Her father. The warrior. Meirou... Jiyuujin... her father.
Her consciousness hid in the back of her mind where nothing mattered and nothing could hurt her, where her father would always protect her, as she stared at where his eyes should be. She could hear the blood screaming in her temples as her stomach became taut and empty, her vision dancing in mad circles. Now she knew why his shoulders were slumped in defeat. Now she knew why he wreaked of humiliation and frustrated anger. Suddenly she couldn't bare to look any longer at the bleeding mess they'd left behind and jacknifed forward, vomiting in spasmodic fits until her stomach ached and there was nothing left to offer up to the dirt floor of the cage. The world span as she wiped her mouth, tasted the bitter acidity of her vomit, swaying slightly in her bent over position. Her head throbbed and she knew what it was to feel utterly helpless and worthless.
"Are you all right?"
His words brought her back to herself with such hideous clarity she was almost sick all over again. The man who had had his eyes ripped out, was asking ifshe was allright. He was not the only one who wished she had never seen him like this, and her guts twisted in total abject misery. He was a strong man who had been able to throw her around like she weighed nothing when she was a child, he had moved with stealthy, deadly speed, he carried himself like a warrior. He was he was he was, past tenses.
She gave a garbled murmur that could barely be considered a yes or a no, and he sighed quietly. "I should have guessed you'd come. Even as a little girl I couldn't get you to do what you were told." There was weary humour in his words, although without the bright animation of his eyes Hogo could not detect his expression. Her heart swelled and her face twisted in an attempt to hold back tears. Had she thought she would be allowed a sweet reunion with her father? Had she thought it would all go well? "Now you're a fine Shinobi in your own right. An idiot, but who other than an idiot would fight through an enemy camp just to save a half dead old man?"
Kneeling down she gripped his upper arms tightly, shaking him, ignoring the disrespect that this was "You're not half dead and you're not old. And I'm not leaving without you." He finally lifted his head slightly, and Hogo clenched her teeth around her tongue and did not look away from the holes that bored into her, sightless but focused. Despite his words that she was a shinobi just as he was now, she could barely restrain herself from lowering her gaze. A pointless action of respect now.
"How is Gaara?" he asked calmly, gently probing. Such a question meant a thousand things, and they both knew that.
She released her father's arms and went about the back of him, busying her hands, beginning to release the tags that constrained him. "That doesn't matter right now." she gritted meticulously, allowing each word to slip out of her mouth with brittle precision. "It always matters. Hogo..." he began, pausing when the air positively reverbrated with the tension that was rife in her body. There was a gentle thud as her knees met the floor behind him, and she clenched his shoulder tightly, resting her forehead on his shoulderblade and gritting her teeth until her jaw ached. To save face before her father she tried with every inch of her to turn this agonising misery into anger.
"It.. can't always matter because I've betrayed him in coming for you. And he will hate me, and he will probably try and kill me, and he will more than likely succeed. Because I love him. Him. I know what that means, I know you probably hate me for it, I know what he did but... But it's ok, 'cause I'm going to save you. Ok? I'm... going to... save you..." the words burbled out until they barely became audible as she let out a ragged sob, her nails digging into his shoulder while she viciously tried to get a hold of herself. Meirou did not move, not that he would have been able to, his head lowered as she began to calm herself. Wiping her eyes she bowed her head even if he could not see it, and continued her ministrations with the tags. There was a long silence before he finally spoke.
"I'm not surprised daughter." Her hands stilled momentarily but she tentatively continued, waiting for him to carry on with his words.
"You do not think of yourself as like your mother, but you are both mine and her child. Through blood and smoke and years of screams pitching in my ears I became hot and hard and vicious, but not your mother. Through it all she was as coolly calm as water, and as impossible to damage as water. She could not be embittered or broken by seeing how dark it could get on the edge of kindness and humane nature. Gladly I would have had it if you could have retained her calm also, but you are, and always have been, my shadow in far more ways than you could be hers. She's simply the blurrings of love and childhood to you - you cannot remember the years in which she raised you. Perhaps it is due to my upbringing that you inherited my strength of will, and her big heart. The things you have seen would have eroded away that gentle side of you if you were any less of a person. You fight tooth and claw, for what you love. Whether its foolish to do so or otherwise. And it seems you've given your love where it's best needed. Just as I thought you would."
Hogo's hands stopped altogether. "... You thought from the beginning that I would...?"
He nodded his head in concession "It has a kind of perverse poetry to it, don't you think? He took my wife from me. It stands only to reason that he should take my daughter also. The method might be different, but it's the same effect."
The group was spread out in an impromptu fan across the desert. Shikamaru had, much to the surprise of them all, essentially said that tactics could go to Hell. They could worry about that when they got to their location. At the moment, speed was paramount.
"What if it's true though?"
Temari gave her brother a long hard stare, not pausing in her relentless pace.
"I don't intend to listen to what you're saying Kankurou.."
"Just shut up for a minute would you? Hogo means a lot to me too. That doesn't change anything. Youknow it doesn't change anything. If it's her father who's the spy, we can't rely on her."
"We don't know that for sure."
"We don't know a lot of things for sure. She already... Christ Temari, she already left Gaara! I never thought I'd see the day when she did that. We don't have a clue whose side she's on anymore."
"You didn't before." Rock Lee's interruption gave Kankurou pause, turning to look at the green-clad shinobi racing alongside them. He shot him a fierce look, full of conviction. "It might feel like everythings changed Kankurou-san, Temari-san. But nothing has. We never knew for sure that Hogo was on our side. We just had faith that she was. And we need to keep that faith; trust her."
The piercing whistle that cut through the air caught all of their attention.
"We're not far now! Shit they're in that gorge, I should have guessed!" Kiba snarled vehemently. Shikamaru waved his hand by way of a signal, and the group's speed increased further, fixed upon their target.
The ninja's expression was a melding of fury and total shock, his jaw slack as blood dripped from his lips. Hogo wrenched her kunai out from its slanted trajectory into his throat from his collarbone. Further blood spurted out in an arching gout as she freed the weapon, splattering across her dress. It reminded her of a thousand other deaths, a thousand other cutting out of lives she had committed and witnessed as she wiped some from her eyes, its sticky heat clinging desperately to her skin. Breathing fast but evenly, she checked her father was still behind her. He had insisted upon her wrapping a cloth around his eye sockets and was now focusing intently on the ground where the ninja's body slumped, head inclined slightly forward to hear the contact. He nodded, smiling grimly. "No less from my daughter."
He stepped forward warily, the newly blind searching for reassurance and she took his hand, placing it on her shoulder as she carried on forwards through the tortuously twisting tunnel, praying she had recalled the directions accurately. They had only met three shinobi so far and she had managed to silence all of them as swiftly as possible, though one had got unnervingly close to her vulnerable father. A gash in his arm testified to the ninja's attack, but also to Meirou's skill. Hogo had launched herself forward to intercept but had arrived too late. The cut intended to rip Meirou's belly open did not get the opportunity to do so as he pivoted with agile precision, one hand gripping his attacker's head in a vice-like grip. It was a brutal technique that the entire clan was privy to - the ability to cut blood off to either the brain or heart with a forceful assertion of chakra. The man died instantly.
Further light filtered through the thin murkiness as they approached the main cavern. Hogo pressed herself tightly to the wall, Meirou swiftly following suit. Even as her face remained calm and her heartbeat steady, Hogo found herself frantically thinking out her options. There were more missing-nin out there than she could handle on her own unless she intended to kill herself doing so, and that would not guarantee her father's safety. She could not battle to her best capacity whilst wanting to protect her father, and whether he was a genius or otherwise he could not fight now. Now was the time to be strategic, clever. She felt Meirou's breath on her shoulder as he leant forward, his whisper low as a tremor 'What are you thinking Hogo?'.
Squeezing the hand that was still on her shoulder, she momentarily admired the rough power of her father's fingers, the callous sovereigns of his warrior nature. Her hands were no better. Eyes that glowed with predatory power in the light flickered back to him and her breath trembled as it escaped her lips, forming the hand signals. She could feel him tense, the accumulation of her chakra to her singing through the air.
"How fast can you run father? I'll guide you."
The brush of material touched her face as the sound of silky material slithering sharply caught her ears, and she turned once more to the sight of Meirou removing the bandage from what remained of his eyes, only to tie one end about his wrist, the other her elbow. "We will run. You will not sacrifice yourself for me. You will not bleed out your last moments for me. If I leave, so do you. Did you suppose, my child, I would allow you to give yourself in exchange for me?" The knot was tight and made her blood surge in her adrenaline-soaked muscles, and she was rendered speechless in the face of his words. Through what he knew she had intended to do, through what he would never allow her to do for him. Her hands wavered on the last hand signal, trembling with power, nerves and everything that made her decisions. He leant his face close and those gored eye sockets did not frighten her because that animation, that strength from a face that had seen all manner of horror, was her fathers. He was not broken, he was not defeated. How could she have ever supposed he was?
"The pact of love is reciprocal, daughter. I will defend you until my last breath, as you would for me. Those you defend may never need the protection, but that is what love is."
Father, Meirou Jiyuujin, warrior and Lone Wolf of the clan of killers. Savage and powerful and tender as the rain from a storm. Murderer and mentor in one breath because they are the same for us, they will ever be intermingled. You gave me the charge of loving in the guise of protection, because they become the same, for what are we, killers born that we have always been, if not in love with the person we would protect above all else?
His strong hands gripped her neck tightly and drew her forward, shaking her determinedly "There are others, that you must protect. Remember him." An ache like burning vacancy inside her stomach hit her and ridiculous laughter bubbled up in her throat. The words came out in a rush, barely more than a sob as they met the silence around them.
"I made him laugh father. I think.. I made him happy."
Kuroami stalked forward with his face set in a vicious snarl, progressively being flanked by more of the men that had been stationed under him, though they sensibly kept their distance. He barked out a message to the first behind him and they all fell back and waited for him as he entered Baki's tent.
Baki looked up from the map he and his guest were perusing, an eyebrow raised in vague irritation at the interruption. Kuroami dipped his head low as he spoke, jaw tense "Forgiveness Baki-sama. I just found the guard of the front-entrance unconscious. Whilst he is breathing and displays no wound we've been unable to rouse him so I have not been able to question him. We don't know how many ninja have entered the camp." Baki's cold unreadable eyes shot to his guest, flashing black.
"What do you know of this?"
"Nothing. As far as I knew the teams were continuing their examination of maps and scanning of the desert. Unless..."
"Unless what?" gritted Baki meticulously through his teeth, straightening and towering over the man before him. His guest merely quirked an eyebrow in wry amusement before continuing.
"Ryoushin Jiyuujin requested Hogo's presence late last night. Perhaps they intend to come and retrieve Meirou."
Baki slowly absorbed this information, those passionless eyes narrowed in thought as he leant back against the impromptu desk that had been created for him. Something bordering on humor but devoid of any corresponding softening twitched his mouth. "The loyalty of your clan is really quite adorable, Jiyuujin."
The young man gave a disdainful sniff, "Some of us more than others."
As Kuroami exited the tent he paused, his skin prickling with sharp wariness. Tension hit the circuitry of his veins like an itchy fire as he shot a cursory glance around him, and his tension spread in a wave as all those around him instantly began to pay attention, gathering their senses into order. A few unsheathed weapons and dropped into fighting stances even as his eyes narrowed into a frown. The closest he could equate it to was a sound, the quiet murmuring of a distant sea's thrashings in a high wind. The adrenaline that sparked the air as the camp progressively silenced, even the most introspective feeling it now, filled the cavern to bursting with imminent violence.
It hit first across the cavern to his right, the shrill screams of panic echoing across the crags of the cave as shinobi threw themselves out of the way of... of what? Kuroami growled and strained his eyes, concentrating and yet nonetheless seeing nothing in the gap that was causing people to go bulleting off in whatever direction they could. Chakra as dense and controlled as compressed hot air spun through this invisible centre, and those who did not have time or the sense to move from whatever it was they saw were split open, blood spraying as their throats and stomachs were unzipped. Closer, closer... For a second he caught the dim outline of two figures running through the centre, shrouds of barely perceptible colour, and then it hit him, the vision that had sent the others flying back.
"It's a genju..." he began only to hear his voice muffled out by the shrieking cacophany of the winds that fought in the tornado before him, and all his followers leapt away screaming as the sheer power attempted to suck them in.
Hogo's skin was slick with sweat as she continued to sprint with her father beside her, hearing the distant screams of fear transform into ones of fury as her genjutsu was comprehended. It had been difficult, and risky, relying on both her speed and the receptive nature of the ninjas around her. She had not thought for a second that she could hold them all in the genjutsu, and had instead been forced to manipulate the illusionary technique so that it surrounded herself instead of them, anyone within a certain distance seeing nothing but a tornado of terrifying proportions. Those who seemed less affected she had dispatched in a flurry of blood, slicing them open as she flew past. The intention was not to fight, merely to get to the exit safely.
"Are you allright Hogo?" her father called, hearing the quiet pants that ripped from her throat in between breaths. A grin spread unbidden across her face as she shook her head, feet pounding across the rock surfaces beneath them like a drumbeat, forcing them to a faster pace. Nothing got past him.
"I'm fine. But I think we might need to speed up." she wheezed, her vision momentarily blurring. Yes. It had been very difficult concentrating her chakra that much. But she could still run, and if necessary she could still fight.
As if to test this assertion, she saw in the mouth of the cave a sillouhuette of a figure, standing in her path. "Father... I'm going to cut the bandage. Wait until I call you." she said harshly, not pausing in the speed of her run as she unsheathed a kunai, slicing the material that bound them with one clean strike. Launching herself up and forward at a blinding speed, she swept her leg round in a sharp turnkick, aimed at the figure's head.
Naturally, she was very much surprised when her leg was caught, and she was unceremoniously thrown into a wall, almost swallowing her own tongue as her neck whiplashed into the rock, her spine roaring with pain. She hit the floor with an equally pronounced thud, legs caving under her as her vision swam yet again. Wincing and clutching the back of her neck, she looked up at her attacker. Not many people could keep up with her speed, and she let out a weary sigh as she gave a half-smile, tonguing her lower lip and tasting blood.
"Neji..." she breathed, resigned by the icily vicious expression on his face.
"Hogo. We have some questions we'd like to ask you." he murmured, shards of contempt and disdain lancing every word. She saw her former allies thronged around the entrance of the cave, watching her with varying expressions of unease, betrayal and wariness. Pain that had nothing to do with injuries gripped her heart and she dragged herself up the wall, face twisted into tired flippancy. She mastered the sadness at all they thought she was, for there was no time. Let them hate her, but they could not be here when the missing-nin erupted from that cave like vengeful demons. Let them chase her through the desert forever, so long as they weren't here getting massacred.
"I'm afraid I don't really have time for that Neji. Maybe you could catch me at a better time..."
"We know the spy is a Jiyuujin Hogo." said Kankurou severely, eyes hard with regret. And whatever remaining tattered threads of a plan that Hogo had, were burnt into smoke and ash with these words. What had she been doing all of this for? The entire group saw her eyes widen, her body stiffen, and none could mistake it for guilt. This was not what they had expected.
"...What?" she choked out, just that effort seeming to deprive her of whatever air she had left in her lungs. "You didn't know?" Shikamaru said, stepping forward and examining her face with his intelligent eyes, finding nothing there but pure despair.
"Hogo...?"
Each of them instinctually withdrew a weapon, Kankurou flexing his chakra strings, Temari reaching for her fan, as a shadow tentatively stepped out of the deep dark of the cavern. First a hand became visible from that smooth immaculate black, a silky stretch of material stained with blood rippling in the manipulative wind, tied to its wrist. A face that should have been handsome followed it, caked with dirt and dried blood, made alien by the absence of eyes. Hinata let out a gasp and backed up into Kiba's protective arms and Kankurou visibly blanched even beneath his make up, instantly dropping his hands to his sides.
"Meirou-sama..." he breathed, taking a step forward whilst not even knowing what he intended to do. Hogo stretched out a flailing hand and clung to her father's hand, drawing him close to her, looking for all the world like a little girl, terrified and pale. She was breathing heavily, fighting back tears as she clung tightly to her father's chest. "Does... this..." she seethed in between breaths, eyes wet and hot with animal panic "look like... a spy?" Even Neji's icy eyes faltered and he looked away, shame washing through him. He had attempted to reserve judgement and had still not been able to prevent suspicion from taking over.
Meirou, tall and regal even now, held his daughter tightly and nodded solemnly in their direction. "Kankurou-san. Temari-san. Friends of Hogo. I understand your fears, but I am not the spy. You are correct when you say it is a Jiyuujin, I can testify to that much. It was under their word that my reconaissance was discovered and... this, was done to me. It's Shiro-kun."
Hogo straightened as if her brain had been restarted by livewires, her tear-stung eyes now wide with sharp conviction. It took the others even longer to react, for some even a while to recall who Shiro was.
Shiro. Quiet, unassuming, studious, damn-near invisible Shiro Jiyuujin. Second son to Ryoushin.
A dull roar of chakra presence, familiar in all its adrenaline-soaked deadliness, emitted from the cavern behind them, accompanied by the pounding of dozens of running feet.
"The time for questions is later." stated Meirou firmly, separating his daughter from him and addressing the others.
"First we deal with this problem as best as we can. It took a lot for Hogo to turn her back on you for me. Since she does not give her love foolishly I know you all to be formidible shinobi. I hope you can prove this to me now."
Hinata's fear was bolted down into bottom of her stomach as quiet awe filled her. Hogo had not lied - Meirou's presence was astounding, his words making her soul sing with pride. On Shikamaru's nod, they all leapt back, skirting the outside hollowed area to give each other room. It was not long before jet black blurs erupted from the cavern like a wave of violence, and all sound was lost to the aching speed of battle.
You were not loved.
Sabaku No Gaara's heart hurt. He would have preferred a real wound because he knew they could heal. Lies had sugar-coated the wound for him once before and he had burnt that sugar-coating away, eaten it alive. The wound had burnt hard and hot but at least it was true, at least it was honest. But she had sworn. She had sworn, she had promised she had said...
She had said nothing. Yashamaru had lied, veneer of love and civility, sweetness and affection. Barren hate was at the core. Had she lied? Did Hogo lie to him? Did Hogo... betray him?
He could hear someone screaming his name but it didn't seem to matter much.
Did Hogo use that beautiful mouth to lie to him? Of course. Of course of course she did because who wouldn't want to run from the monster? She had never.. she had never promised that she would... All these concepts he had seen and watched and never felt for himself. Promises, what was a promise worth? So many windows he had looked into, homes, lives, families he had witnessed where promises and love and happiness meant something. They were just numb words to him, and they should remain that way. He should not allow them to be plucked out of the air and given animation by someone who was loyal but not loyal, she was not loyal because she had left him, she had left...
She had left him alone.
You were not loved.
EEEEP! Hope you liked it, sorry Gaara was hardly in it but you'll get more of him next time XD. XXXXXXX