It's the last full chapter! XD We're so close to the end, but don't worry, the story is far from over! I've started working on a New Moon equivalent rewrite and plan on taking April's Camp NaNoWriMo to make some progress on it, plus there's still two more chapters of No Risk Without Reward (updated last week, check it out if you haven't already) and whatever other one-shots pop into my head! I've already had a few requests for Beau or Edythe's perspective of the last few chapters, so that's on the list. If there's anything else you want to see, just let me know!

For now, enjoy the delicious angst! :P

Glitterb x

Chapter 24: An Impasse

When I opened my eyes again, the brightness above me made me squeeze them shut almost instantly. I blinked a few times, trying to focus. A long, unfamiliar, white room gradually resolved itself around me, vertical blinds across what I assumed was a window to my right. I was half-sat up against a decidedly lumpy stack of pillows, the mattress below me firm and the bed bracketed with plastic railings. Somewhere nearby, something was beeping rhythmically, an annoying, high-pitched tone that grated on my ears. I decided I had to be alive – surely death wouldn't be this uncomfortable.

My focus shifted to my hands, laid out on top of a scratchy blue blanket in front of me. They were all tangled with tubes and bandages, one IV line running into the back of my right hand, another in my left forearm. Something plastic was across my face, sitting uncomfortably close under my nose, sticky tape pulling up on my face to hold it in place. I reached up, my hand a little wobbly, to try and pull it away.

"Oh no, you don't," a soft, gloriously familiar voice said, and a cold hand caught mine.

"Edward?" I murmured, turning my head with more effort than it should have taken. But there he was, leaning on the railing beside me with his head rested on the edge of my pillow. Tears sprang into my eyes, an odd mix of relief, unbridled happiness, and deep-seated guilt tightening my chest. "You're here… I thought… oh God, Edward…"

"Shhh, hey, it's alright." He gently cradled my face in his hand, his thumb ready to catch any droplets that fell. "I'm here. Everything is going to be alright now, love."

"I don't remember…" My mind was still foggy, and as I tried to think back, beyond the darkness and the angel, I could only find a pain and terror that I mentally recoiled from. "What happened? Did you…" I didn't even know how I wanted to end that sentence, but somehow he knew what I meant.

"It was so close," he whispered, remembered pain burning in his dark eyes. "We were so nearly too late. But I got him off you, and then Eleanor and Jasper dealt with him while the rest of us helped you." His voice turned angry at the end, almost jealous.

I was still wrestling with my uncooperative memory. "I don't remember Eleanor and Jasper."

"They went into the other room. There was a lot of blood…"

"You stayed." That seemed like a minor miracle. "Did it… bother you? All of my…" I couldn't get the word to come out.

He made a face. "No, not as much as I thought it would. Although I was rather distracted by thinking that I'd lost you forever."

There was the guilt again, sharper now as his expression turned almost accusatory. "I'm sorry. I thought he had my mom, and I had to try-"

Edward cut me off gently. "I know, I know, I understand why you did it. It was still a very foolish thing to do. You should have waited for me, told someone what was happening."

"You wouldn't have let me go."

"No, I wouldn't." His voice was black.

Talking about telling somehow broke through the haze and reminded me that someone had known what I was doing. My shoulders shrank in on instinct as guilt washed through me again, and I winced when the movement made my whole upper back ache.

"Are you okay?" Edward was abruptly concerned. "What hurts?"

"It's fine," I assured him; the pain was already easing as I relaxed back into the pillow. "Just have to remember to stay still. How bad is it?" I couldn't see much of my body under the sheets, except that my left leg was a giant lump.

"Well, besides the aforementioned blood loss, you have a broken leg, four broken ribs, cracks in your skull and bruises on practically every inch of you."

"Wow," I murmured. I remembered the leg now, and hitting my head on the glass, and being thrown across a room a few times - that would certainly leave a fair few bruises. "How did you explain all of that? I'm guessing you couldn't tell the doctors 'She got attacked by a vampire'."

My attempt at humour fell a little flat, and though Edward smiled, it didn't touch his eyes. "Don't worry, we have our cover stories all put together convincingly enough. You don't have to be clear on the details, you have plenty of excuses to be a little muddled."

"Tell me anyway? I want to make sure I keep the story straight." I thought of Beau on the phone to Charlie, lying so smoothly to preserve the secret. I needed to practice.

He nodded. "Alright, the whole story. I was naturally very upset at your sudden departure from Forks, so I followed you down here to try and talk. With Carine along as parental supervision, of course, and Edythe and Alice for good measure. My sister and your brother acted as go-betweens and convinced you to meet with me, but on your way up to our hotel room, you tripped and fell. Tumbled down two flights of stairs and out through a window, dropping about a half-storey onto the sidewalk." Another weak smile. "Even you have to admit, it's plausible."

I frowned a little. "Aside from the lack of broken windows."

He waved off my concerns. "Alice took care of all that, don't worry. You could probably sue the hotel if you wanted to, she had a little too much fun fabricating the evidence." He shook his head at his sister's antics.

The mention of Alice reminded me of the last thing I'd been trying to tell her, in my final moments of lucidity before the blackness had engulfed me. "Did Alice see the video?"

"Yes," was his hard, sharp answer. There was a flash of deep hatred across his face that made me certain that he had seen it too, and that if James hadn't already been taken care of, it would surely have had its intended effect.

I tried to reach up and touch his face, to try and offer him some comfort, but I couldn't get my arm to move far enough; when I looked down, I saw the IV in my forearm pulling on the skin, at the limits of the tube's length.

"Ugh," I groaned, closing my eyes and turning away from it.

"What's wrong?" he asked, worried again, but not quite distracted from his black mood.

I pouted as pitifully as I could. "I hate needles."

Finally, he laughed, just a little puff of air, yet the darkness faded as he shook his head in exasperation. "A vicious, evil vampire intent on her death, not a problem, she's running to go meet him, but an IV. Dear God, the horror."

I rolled my eyes at his sarcasm, which at least didn't hurt, so that was progress. Another thought crossed my mind then, which was also a convenient subject change. "Do my parents know what happened? Do I need to call them?"

Edward shook his head. "No, Beau took care of that. Actually, the hospital insisted on it, once they realised he was only seventeen – he confused them by calling you his little sister." He smirked and I couldn't help smiling too. "Charlie had something at work that he couldn't get away from, but he's been kept informed, and your mother arrived the day before yesterday."

"Renée's here?" Stupidly, I tried to sit up, which made the pain in my back flare again and sent my head spinning.

He pushed me gently back onto the pillows. "Please stay still, Bella. She'll be back soon, Beau and Edythe took her to get something to eat."

I closed my eyes, trying to make the spinning stop. "At least she's okay. I can't believe I thought he really had her."

"He played all of us for fools. It wasn't your fault."

"That sounds like something you've said before," I said, giving him a keen look.

He shrugged. "I may have had to have the same conversation with your brother. He was beating himself up over not working out what you were planning. He thought I was going to blame him."

I scoffed. "That's dumb. If there's anyone to blame, it's me." I sighed, my ribs protesting at the movement. "I'm going to have a lot of apologies to make, aren't I?"

"All you have to do now," Edward insisted, releasing my hand to take hold of my face more securely and looking deep into my eyes, "is concentrate on resting and healing. That is your only job, you understand?"

Pain and medication apparently did nothing to dull my reactions to him; the annoying beeping – a heart monitor, I realised belatedly – kicked up a notch and lost its regular rhythm. It had been bad enough to know that Edward and the other Cullens could hear my heart misbehaving, now it was out there for everybody's entertainment.

"That's going to get old fast," I muttered, mostly to myself.

Edward huffed another light laugh, then his expression turned calculating. "Hmmm, let me try something…"

He leaned in slowly, the beeping accelerating with each inch of distance that he closed. When the soft kiss finally came, though, the sound stopped completely, and he sprang back right away, his eyes going up to a screen I couldn't see and his shoulders sagging in relief as the beeping started up again.

"Oh dear, I'm going to have to be even more careful with you than usual, aren't I?" He was frowning.

"Get back over here," I demanded, pouting again. "I wasn't done kissing you yet."

I thought he might argue, but to my relief he just grinned and leaned in for another soft kiss, only to pull away again almost as quickly. Before I could do more than make an unintelligible noise of protest, he shook his head. "Your mother's coming. Perhaps I should-"

I cut off whatever he was about to say, certain it was something about leaving; even the thought made me panic. "Stay, please. Renée already knows you're here, right?"

"She does…" He still didn't look completely convinced, but he did settle back into the hard plastic chair he had apparently been occupying beside me, releasing my face but taking a firm hold of my hand. I gave him an approving smile and a nod. He just rolled his eyes in response.

I could hear my mom's voice now, though I couldn't make out what she was saying. There was another voice too, a deeper one – Beau. Both of them sounded tired, and Renée was clearly upset. I had a sudden mad vision of jumping up from the bed, running out to them to show them everything was okay. But of course, I wasn't going to be running or jumping anytime soon. So I settled for attempting to weave my fingers through Edward's without disturbing the tube poking into my hand, and trying to make it look like I wasn't watching the door.

"Careful," he warned, resettling our hands with his fingers curled safely around my palm. "I can put that back in if it falls out, but the nurses might have questions, and I can't very well tell them I have two medical degrees."

"You could say your mom taught you," I suggested, prompting a soft chuckle and a shake of the head.

A startled, "Oh!" from the other side of the room made me turn my head to see Renée stood in the doorway, Beau looming behind her.

"Mom!" I said; though I'd known she was safe, it was still a relief to see her here, in one piece.

"Oh, Bella!" she cried, hurrying across the room and pulling me into a hug that was no less warm for its gentleness. I could feel tears on my cheeks, not sure if they were hers or mine.

"It's so good to see you, Mom," I mumbled into her hair, wishing I could return the hug but not wanting to risk the tug of the needles again.

She pulled back, carefully tucking my hair back behind my ears, avoiding the oxygen tube. "Sweetheart, I was so worried! When Beau called me… I didn't even know you'd left Forks, and he's telling me you're in the hospital in Phoenix…"

"Worst phone call I've ever had to make." Beau's voice was thick as he moved closer. My brother looked tired, the shadows under his eyes almost as deep as Edythe's; she was tucked into his side, her hand rested on his chest comfortingly and a soft smile on her face that made a good show of being relieved but, to the eyes of someone who knew her well, wasn't precisely surprised.

"I'm sorry," I said, hoping he would hear the much deeper apology I wanted to give. "Everything's going to be okay now."

Renée moved to perch on the edge of my bed, and Edythe let go of Beau, giving him a nudge. He seemed hesitant as he came in for a hug, even more gentle than Renée had been. I risked moving, extracting my hand from Edward's, and found that thankfully, the line on my right side had a bit more give; I managed to reach up and thread my fingers into his hair.

"It's okay," I whispered. "I'm here."

"You nearly weren't," he said, his voice definitely shaking now.

"Hey, hey," Renée cut in, a soothing tone to her voice as she reached out to pat his shoulder. "No need for that now, baby. Remember, the doctor said everything was looking good. She's going to be fine."

He pulled back, nodding distractedly, still not looking happy.

"We're all just glad to finally see your eyes open," Edythe chimed in; she'd moved around to stand behind her brother, her hands on his shoulders. "But we should probably give you three some time to talk, and you–" She shook Edward gently. "–need to get out of this room for a little while. No, no, come on, you've barely moved all day, let's go."

She spoke over his weakly offered protests, guiding him gently but firmly out of the room. I watched them go, trying to damp down the panic that I felt watching him leave. I was afraid that if he was out of my sight, he might disappear for good. But no, Edythe wouldn't let that happen, I told myself firmly. She turned to close the door and gave me a big, dramatic wink that my mother thankfully didn't seem to notice. It was just a little thing, but it did make me feel calmer somehow.

Beau took up the chair, a frown still crinkling his brow. I knew there were things I needed to say to him, things that would hopefully make that crease go away; unfortunately, none of them were things I could say with Renée listening. That conversation would have to wait until later.

For now, I turned to her and asked, "So how long have I been out?" I'd realised I had no idea what day it was anymore, or even what day it had been when… no, I didn't want to think about that. So, her answer might still not be very helpful, but it was the natural thing to ask.

"It's Friday, sweetie. They had to keep you sedated for a while, you've got a lot of injuries."

"I know," I sighed. "I can feel them."

She patted my hand sympathetically. "My poor baby."

"At least she's admitting to it this time." Beau's joke was still weak, but his smile looked a bit more genuine.

I stuck my tongue out at him, then grinned, ignoring the ache in my cheeks at the movement. "Hey, that one doesn't hurt." I stuck it out further, finally getting a proper grin out of him.

"Very funny, little sister."

"Two minutes."

"Oh honestly, you two." Renée was crying again, but smiling widely and quickly wiping the tears away before she changed the subject. "Really, Bella, you're very lucky Dr Cullen was there. She's a lovely lady, although she does look more like a model than a doctor. And she certainly does not look thirty-two, she must have an amazing skincare routine."

"You met Carine?" I asked.

"Yes, and Edythe, finally." She gave Beau a pointed look, laughing when he dramatically hid behind his hands. "And her sister Alice, too, she's a sweetheart."

"She's great," I agreed without hesitation.

The look she gave me now was keen, speculative – one of those extra perceptive moments that my mom had from time to time. "They've certainly had nothing but good things to say about you. You didn't tell me you were getting so close with all the Cullens."

She put a weight on the word 'all' that made it more than clear which one she really meant. I cringed a little, which made everything hurt, and I couldn't hold back a moan of pain.

"What's wrong, baby, what hurts?" Her hands fluttered anxiously over me, afraid to touch but desperate to be helpful. Beau was half up out of his chair, eyeing a big red button that must have connected to the nurse's station.

"I'm fine," I told them both hurriedly. "I just have to remember not to move." Thankfully, they both settled, and I had an opening to change the subject. "Is Phil here?"

"No, he's back in Florida." Renée's face brightened. "Oh, I haven't had a chance to tell either of you, we got the best news, just when we were getting ready to leave!"

"He got signed?" I guessed at the exact same moment as Beau. We grinned at each other.

Renée laughed. "Oh, you two are so cute when you do that! And yes, he did! The Suns, can you believe it?"

It didn't mean anything to me, and I wasn't sure whether Beau even knew what team she was talking about, but her excitement was infectious. "That's great, Mom."

"They're based out of Jacksonville, right?" Beau asked.

"Yes, that's right. You're going to love it there, Bella," she gushed. "You know, for a little while Phil was looking at Akron, which I wasn't sure about, all that snow, you know? But Jacksonville is wonderful, always sunny, a bit more humid than here but I'm sure we'll get used to it. We've found the most darling little house, this gorgeous shade of yellow, all white trim, and the porch looks like something out of an old movie. It's not far from the ocean, we've got a spare room for your brother to stay in, and you'd have your own bathroom-"

"Mom, wait a second!" I cut in, trying to calm the sense of dread building in my chest. "I don't want to go to Florida, I want to stay in Forks."

She looked at me like I'd spontaneously grown a second head. "But honey, you don't have to stay up there anymore. Phil will be around a lot more, we've already agreed I'll only go to half the away games so you're not on your own too much. Besides, you hate Forks." She shot a guilty look at Beau. "Sorry, sweetheart."

"It's not so bad," I disagreed. "I've settled in at school, and I've only got a little over a year left, I don't really want to start at a new place again. I have a few good friends, Angela, McKayla, Alice, Edythe…" Mentioning the Cullen girls made her eyes narrow suspiciously again so I quickly diverted away to another argument. "And the boys are really benefiting from a feminine touch in the house."

"Oh we are, are we?" Beau asked in mock affront.

"Definitely," I said, giving him a mischievous smile. "Charlie's appreciating the expanded culinary range, for sure. And don't deny you like the lighter chore load now we've split everything. Besides…" I reached out for his hand and he slipped his into mine, carefully avoiding the tubes. "I didn't realise how much I was going to enjoy spending time with you. I think I'd miss you a lot more now if we were apart again."

He nodded, smiling just a little. "Yeah, me too. And you know we'd be happy to have you if that's really what you want."

"It is," I assured him, then turned back to Renée. "I'm sorry, Mom."

She smoothed my hair gently. "Honey, you don't have to apologise. It's just…" She looked worried now, and then her face shifted to a frown as she clearly decided to stop beating around the bush. "I don't want you to make this big of a decision just because you want to stay with that boy."

"I'm not," I argued. "I told you, I have lots of reasons – school, Charlie, Beau – ow!" I'd shrugged. Bad plan.

Renée wasn't deterred. "But Edward is part of it too, right?"

I wanted to lie and even considered trying it, but she was watching me far too closely; besides, one look at Beau told me he was going to shoot down any attempt at deception. I sighed. "Yes, he is. Have you… talked to him?"

"I have. And I know it may not be the perfect time, but I need to talk to you about that."

"Oh?" I asked, feeling nervous. Beau squeezed my fingers gently.

She leaned in and whispered in a tone that almost sounded like an accusation. "I think that boy is in love with you."

I couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corners of my mouth. "I think so, too."

Beau snorted. "He's definitely in love with her. I told you, Bell, anyone with eyes can see it."

Renée swatted him on the shoulder lightly but otherwise ignored him. "And? How do you feel about him?"

I searched for an honest but not too intense answer, something that would calm her down without giving my brother an opening to contradict me. "I guess… I'm pretty crazy about him."

Surprisingly, Beau was in my corner now. "He's really good to her, Mom, I promise. They're great together."

"Well, he certainly seems nice, very polite, and kind to his mother and his sisters, you can tell a lot about a man by how he treats the women in his family. And my goodness, he's good-looking, I can't deny that. But you're still so young, Bella…" She sounded uncertain, and there was something chastising in her tone; she didn't often try to exert parental authority, but I could hear it now in her voice, that particular cadence that I hadn't heard since I was about eight. Not to mention we'd had enough conversations about men over the years for me to know where she was going next.

"I know, Mom." I contemplated trying to pass it off as a crush, but I knew Beau would never let me get away with that, so went with the line I'd used on Charlie instead. "It's still really new, okay? It might not even go anywhere." I pinched my brother as subtly as I could; thankfully, he got the hint and kept his mouth shut.

My words had done their job, though; Renée looked happier. "That's right, you've got plenty of time. First love is a wonderful thing, but it doesn't have to last forever. Don't you forget that either, Beau." She gave him a stern look.

"Sure, Mom," he agreed breezily, and though he seemed to have her fooled, we both knew better. His first love wasn't going anywhere, and it had just as much chance as any other, whether the lovers were seventeen or a hundred. Or both, in their case.

But for now, our mother was mollified, and that was all that really mattered. I got a little worried when she sighed heavily, but then she glanced over her shoulder at the clock.

"Do you have to go?" I asked, feeling a bit guilty that I was hoping the answer was 'yes'.

"I've got a phone call with Phil soon," she admitted. "I'm sorry, baby, I didn't know you were going to wake up."

"It's okay, I won't be on my own." I smirked at Beau. "I've got this idiot to keep me entertained."

"Rude!" he protested, poking me gently in the nose.

Renée chuckled and shook her head at us. "Oh honestly, you two, love one minute and insults the next. You sure you still want to live together?"

"I'm sure, Mom," I insisted.

"Alright, well, I'll be back later. I love you, Bella." She leaned in for another careful hug. "Please try to watch where you walk, honey, I really don't want to lose you."

"I will," I promised. "I love you too, Mom."

She breezed out of the room with a final kiss blown back to us from the door, leaving us alone.

"She's been sleeping here," Beau commented casually. "Says she's too scared to stay at the house."

I frowned. "Why?"

"Crime in the neighbourhood." He rolled his eyes. "Someone thought it was a great idea to burn down the dance studio and leave a stolen car parked outside."

"They stole a car?" I raised my eyebrows in disbelief. In my painkiller-laden muddle, I hadn't even thought about how they had all got from the airport to the ballet studio.

"Several, according to Edythe, although I think he actually took the one that got found." From the furious look that flashed across his face, I didn't have to ask to know that he was the tracker, not Edward. "And they caused a pile up on the freeway, not to mention some pretty egregious speeding. Oh, and all the property damage at the hotel."

"Edward told me about that." I couldn't help smiling, then frowned again as a thought occurred to me. "Were you involved in all of this wanton illegal activity?"

"No, Edythe and I were waiting in the Mercedes in a nice, non-descript parking lot with plenty of shade. Safe and sound, don't worry." He leaned forward in his chair, his expression deadly serious. "Unlike you."

I sighed; my grace time was up, apparently. "We're doing this?"

"Yes, we are. Bella, that was, without exaggeration, the most frightening hour of my life." He was angry, that much would have been clear to anyone, but I could hear the hurt, the betrayal, and the fear, hiding behind the irritation. "Jasper and I waited for you outside that bathroom, and when you didn't come out… when Alice tracked your scent outside…"

"I'm sorry," I whispered, truly meaning it.

He wasn't done. "And then I had to admit that I knew exactly what was going on, and why you'd run off… and all I could say to defend myself was that I thought you were going to wait until the others arrived. I felt like a goddamn idiot, Bella, because I'd convinced myself you wouldn't do that to me, that you'd never lie to me like that. So there I am, already worried about Mom, worrying about you too, and having to wait for that damn plane to land anyway because Alice said if just the two of them went, you were going to die."

He stood up abruptly and stalked away from me across the room, pushing his hands through his hair and huffing in frustration. I just watched him go, unable to form words, knowing that any apology, no matter how sincere, just wasn't ever going to be good enough.

"The worst part..." he went on at last. "The absolute worst part... was knowing I would have done exactly the same thing. That if you'd asked me to, I would have been running right along with you. And that thought absolutely terrifies me." He shook his head. "Because I've been going through it all in my head over the last few days, what you were doing and what you must have been feeling. I realised that you had to deliberately go to someone you knew was going to kill you. You accepted what was going to happen to you, that you wouldn't see any of us again, and you still went. The amount of bravery it must have taken to do that... and you had to know that you had another option, that you could have stayed if you wanted to."

"I could," I agreed. "It was stupid of me, to fall for his tricks, to not trust you all to help me. You don't need to try and justify it, Beau, just be mad at me. It's okay, I can take it."

His frustration had evaporated, but he'd started crying; he scrubbed the tears away with his sleeve. "That's just it, I don't want to be mad at you anymore, Bella. That isn't going to help anyone. I almost lost you, but I didn't, and I'm so grateful for that, you have no idea. Now, I just want to get you better and for us to find our way back to some kind of normal."

I nodded. "Alright. We can do that. But can we do one thing first?"

Beau tilted his head, frowning in confusion. "Whatever you want, Bell. I mean, as long as it doesn't involve you getting out of that bed, because I don't think that's a good idea."

"Don't worry, I'll stay put." I grinned and reached out as much as my tubes would let me. "Come here."

He came back to the chair and took my hand, questions in his eyes.

"No more secrets," I said. "For real, this time. No trying to protect each other, no thinking something isn't important enough to share. If we have to lie, it's with each other, for each other, not to each other, okay?"

He nodded solemnly. "Agreed. No more secrets, no more lies. Maybe the occasional surprise." His expression turned into a cheeky grin.

I made a face. "I hate surprises."

"I know. But they can be fun from time to time."

"So, in the interest of honesty," I said, getting serious again. "What happened after I left? When the plane landed, I mean?"

He sighed. "Lots of hugs at first, for me and Edythe at least. Of course, they saw straight away that you weren't there, so things got tense pretty fast. I thought Edward was going to kill me when he realised what had happened. But he was too focused on finding you. Guess that's the only reason I'm still standing." He flashed a self-deprecating smile. "But honestly, it was hard to follow everything. They went into vampire speed, and half the conversations were happening in everyone's heads. We found that note you left, that got passed around a bit. Then they were basically just looking for a good car and deciding what to do with me. Once the others went tearing off, I only know bits of what happened until we all met back up again when they brought you here."

He looked like he wanted to say more, but he was interrupted by the door opening again. I had half a second to hope it was Edward and Edythe coming back before a nurse bustled in and started checking all my tubes, wires and monitors.

"Your heart rate went a little high here," she commented, looking at the paper readout. "Are you feeling alright, honey? Anxious, stressed, anything like that?"

"No, I'm fine," I assured her.

"Well, let us know if anything doesn't feel right, okay? I'll let your RN know you're awake, and she'll be in to see you soon."

"Thank you."

When she left, Beau had an eyebrow raised and a knowing look on his face. "Some cardiologist is going to have a field day with you. Spontaneous pulmonary acceleration, also known as 'The Edward Effect'. Isabella Swan, only known case worldwide."

"Shut up," I grumbled, feeling my cheeks start burning.

The door cracked open again, and this time, to my great relief, it was the Cullens coming back. Unfortunately, when Edward mirrored my beaming smile and returned to my side with a kiss on my forehead, the monitor started beeping madly. Beau started cackling, practically falling out of his chair with the force of his hysterics.

"Beau, stop it!" I whined.

Edythe moved around and grabbed him in a hug from behind, her arm across his upper chest serving to keep him upright. "Come now, my love, behave yourself. And you, brother." She gave Edward a keen look; he had taken up Renée's spot on the edge of the mattress and wasn't looking exactly sorry for the chaos he was causing. "Enough getting her worked up. You know that nurse is looking for any excuse to throw us all out."

Edward rolled his eyes. Then, as if she'd been summoned by Edythe's words, another nurse came marching in with an air of unmistakable authority. She ran her eyes across all of us keenly, obviously suspicious; I wondered if she's heard the noise Beau had been making. She checked my monitors, then bustled Edward out of the way with a curt, "Excuse me, young man," and did a quick exam, flashing a penlight in my eyes and asking a lot of questions I was used to after many years of bumped heads and suspected concussions. Her bedside manner left a lot to be desired; I found myself wishing Carine would appear and take over.

"And how's your pain?" she asked as she made a brief note on my chart. "I can get you your next round of meds whenever you need them."

"I'm okay," I told her, not entirely honestly; I was beginning to feel the aches more acutely and it still hurt to breath in too deeply, but I didn't want to go back to sleep, not yet.

The nurse gave me a look that was just the tiniest degree removed from condescending. "There's no need to be brave, honey. You're off full sedation, but you should try to get as much sleep and rest as you can. You don't want to be getting stressed out or over-excited." She waited, but I just shook my head. "Alright, well, hit that call button when you're ready."

She pointed to the button I'd seen Beau eyeing earlier, then left with a last stern look at all my visitors.

"Bye, Nurse Ratched," Beau muttered when she was safely out of the room and the door firmly closed behind her.

I gave him a look. "She can't be that bad."

"She is," Edward sighed, a martyred expression on his face as he sat back on the bed and claimed my hand again. "It's been surprisingly hard to convince her to let us stay in here, especially after your mother arrived. We've been relying a lot on the fact that Carine and your doctor are old friends to get people to leave us alone."

"I'm sure some of them have just been plain scared," Edythe commented, giving her brother another reproachful look. "You can be rather intense, dear brother."

"Understatement." Beau snorted. "He's got a perfect 'Wild horses couldn't make me move, so don't even try,' sort of a look. Even sat through all the blood transfusions, I had to leave for those." He made a disgruntled and slightly guilty face.

She patted him comfortingly on the shoulder. "Probably for the best. The last thing we needed was you on the floor."

"But you were okay?" I asked Edward.

He nodded. "Nothing was ever really exposed to air, so it was fine. Honestly, the worst part was that it made you smell all wrong for a while."

"That must have made a nice change."

"No, I like your smell."

"What have our lives become that that is a perfectly normal statement?" Beau mused. "I mean, it almost sounds romantic."

I rolled my eyes at him, then pursed my lips a little, deciding if I wanted to ask my next question with an audience.

"What is it?" Edward prompted, correctly reading my expression.

Figuring it was going to come out one way or another, given the promise Beau and I had just made to each other, I forged ahead. "I was just thinking… about how you did it. I mean, I remember enough… there was a lot of blood around. And then…" I couldn't quite summon up the courage to voice it, but I nodded to my left hand, turning it in his grip so the bandage covering the gash from the tracker's bite was facing up.

He knew what I was talking about, and from the looks on Edythe and Beau's faces, they'd been told as well. That was probably good; one less difficult memory to relive in the interest of not keeping secrets from my brother anymore.

In an echo of that moment, hanging unspoken between us, Edward lifted my hand gently and brushed the lightest kiss on the gauze. "I'm still not entirely sure," he murmured. "It felt like it was going to be impossible… impossible to stop. There was a moment… I was sure I was going to kill you myself."

"But you didn't," I reminded him. "You saved me."

Edythe sat on the bed on my other side and reached across me to lay her hand on his shoulder. "You've always been the strongest of us, Edward. If there was anyone who could do it, it would be you. I'm not sure I would have had the strength."

"You don't seem to get yourself in situations where you would have to make that choice." Edward's mood had darkened again. "You've made it through two years without incident, and I barely manage two weeks before landing her in the hospital."

"This isn't your fault," I argued. "And given how much we've all had to say that, can we just agree that the only person to blame is James, and that he has well and truly paid for it by getting turned into a pile of ashes?"

All three of the expressions facing me darkened.

"That was far too easy an end for him," Edythe half-growled. "I still wish I could have helped. But you are right, Bella, he is the only person truly at fault for all this. You have to stop taking that responsibility on yourself, Edward."

Unfortunately, he was far from convinced. "How can I, when she was only exposed to him because of me?" He turned his focus from his sister to me. "Don't absolve me of accountability for putting you here, for being the reason that you are broken and bruised, barely able to move."

"You're the reason I'm alive," I argued.

I might as well not have spoken. "If I hadn't come into your life, if I had left when I meant to and just been strong enough to stay away, you would be safe at home, watching TV or something, none the wiser about all this darkness and pain."

"No, I wouldn't. I'd be dead."

Perhaps it was a tad melodramatic to put it so bluntly; both Edythe and Edward's expressions switched to confused concern in an instant. Beau, by contrast, was perfectly calm. Or, if not calm, at least not turning his disgruntled look on me, focused on Edward instead.

"Bella, you would-" Edward tried to argue, but I cut him off.

"This isn't the first time you've saved my life," I reminded him. "If we hadn't met, or if you'd stayed in Alaska, then I would have been squished by Tyler's van months ago. I'd be six feet under in the Forks cemetery now, or stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of my life, at best. And even if that weren't the case, there is absolutely nothing that could ever make me want to be without you."

But apparently, he wasn't done being idiotic yet. "You should go to Florida with your mother, Bella. You should get far away from me, be safe and happy in the sun where you belong."

"I don't want to go to Florida!" I yelled, well aware that I sounded like a petulant child but not exactly caring at that moment. Mostly because shouting had put a bit too much strain on my ribs, and I was now trying to catch my breath from the fresh surge of pain. I squeezed my eyes tight shut, trying to hold back tears and not entirely sure whether they were from pain or anger.

"I'm calling the nurse," Edward said.

I forced my eyes open to glare at him. "Don't you dare," I growled through gritted teeth, doing my best to sound vampiric and failing miserably.

"Bella, you're in pain. You need to be resting, not getting upset."

"You're the one upsetting her," Beau spat sourly. I was surprised by the level of hostility in his tone. He was glaring daggers at Edward, who winced, making me wonder what thoughts were also flying his way courtesy of my brother.

"Boys, stop," Edythe cut in, once again the voice of reason. "None of this is helpful. Bella has made her choice clear, and honestly, Edward, are you even physically able to be parted from her now?"

"I don't seem to have the strength for it anymore," he sighed. "Even if staying does kill her."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "A simple 'no' would have sufficed. I hate to speak for others, but I think we're all getting rather tired of your dramatics. It's passed mildly irritating into downright infuriating, and fairly soon none of us are going to want to deal with you."

An awkward silence descended over all of us. Edward was looking down at his hands, no longer holding mine, with the air of a chastised child. Beau's ire hadn't cooled, and though Edythe was starting to calm down, her anger was giving way to an exhausted frustration; the circles under her dark eyes somehow became more prominent as her posture shifted subtly, so that she looked truly tired. Even still, she was heartbreakingly beautiful. For some reason, James' voice echoed in my head.

Edward obviously wasn't strong enough to make the choice that old one made. Or perhaps he simply didn't wish to keep you. His loss, I suppose. He could have made you safe so much more easily, and... yes, I think you could have been very beautiful, as one of us.

The tears that had still been pricking my eyes spilled over, and now I was sure they weren't tears of anger, but of deep sadness – a mourning for what could have been, but what obviously wasn't meant to be.

Of course, they didn't go unnoticed. Edward took hold of my hand again, shifting slightly closer on the bed.

"Please don't cry," he whispered, my agony reflected in his face, though he couldn't have the same reason. "I'm sorry, Bella. Of course, we're all going back to Forks together. We won't be separated again, I promise."

I wished I could believe him, but I had too much evidence to the contrary. He didn't understand, couldn't see through whatever it was that blocked my thoughts from him, that I was no longer just focused on the immediate threat of separation. All the gaps in his stories... the arguments with Alice... his violent denial when she had talked about 'other options'... there was only one conclusion I could draw, the same one I had come to talking to Alice back at the hotel, now all the more clearly reaffirmed.

He was looking at me pleadingly, needing my reassurance, but I couldn't speak, couldn't find the words; I just shook my head slowly, wincing slightly as the movement tweaked my neck.

"You're in pain," he reasoned, gentle and still with that pleading edge. "Please, let's get your next dose of medication so you can sleep and heal."

"Stop trying to sedate her," Beau snapped. "It's not going to get you off the hook."

"Beau," I warned weakly. "Enough, okay? If he wants to go, then let him. I'd rather he snuck off while I'm sleeping."

Now Edward looked aghast. "I'm not going anywhere, Bella," he insisted. "I'll be here when you wake up. I just want you to get the rest you need to get better."

"But you don't want to keep me." My voice was tiny, barely more than a breath, but of course he heard it.

His frown deepened. "What on earth would give you that impression? You're the one who was just arguing that I saved your life. I don't understand..."

"It didn't have to be like this," I explained, still whispering, my voice beginning to wobble. "You didn't have to stop it." I summoned up all my courage and looked him straight in the eye. "You could have let the venom spread, and I wouldn't be this broken, damaged, useless thing. I would be just like you by now."

There was just the hint of surprise in his expression, the slightest widening of his eyes, before he shut down completely. Still, it wasn't hard to tell that he was angry, or that my level of knowledge on this particular topic was news to him. Alice must have been very careful with her thoughts, or else highly distracted by the video, to not let our conversation back at the hotel slip.

"Do I take it," he said slowly, nostrils flaring with barely restrained fury, "that you would deem that to have been a positive outcome to this whole situation?"

"I wouldn't have minded," I hedged. I found I suddenly couldn't look at anyone and settled for tracing the weave of the scratchy blue blanket laid over me with my eyes as I went on. "It was an option, at least. But you never asked me what I wanted, which I get was a little difficult under the circumstances..." I trailed off, feeling the heat of all the eyes on me even as I tried to ignore them.

"You wanted the fire to stop," Edward croaked roughly – as rough as a voice like silk could be. "You begged. Do you think you could have gone through days of that? Not only your hand, but everywhere?"

It wasn't the ideal place to have this conversation, with our siblings right there and the possible interruption of medical staff at any moment. Yet when I glanced at Beau, he had an oddly approving look on his face and something in his eyes made me remember when he'd been telling me to stand up for myself and make sure Edward understood what I wanted. It gave me a burst of courage, the courage I needed to finally meet Edward's gaze again.

"For you, I could. I'd do anything if it meant I could be with you forever."

He looked pained. "You don't know what you're asking for."

"I think I do."

"You really don't. Even after ninety years, I'm still not sure if I would choose this life, given the chance."

Edythe was frowning. "Do you wish we hadn't been saved, brother? If you hadn't lived, neither would I."

He shot her a frustrated look. "I'm well aware of that, Edythe. And no, I don't wish for you to have died, nor do I begrudge Carine for saving us." He turned back to me. "But our lives were over. We didn't sacrifice anything, and we certainly didn't do it knowingly. Think about it, Bella, could you really leave your parents like that, with no explanation? Or leave Beau having to comfort them over your loss?"

Beau cut in before I could answer. "One of us is going to have to do it. If not me for her, then her for me. Seeing as you did stop her changing this time, we've got a chance to orchestrate things a little better next time, when it's for real."

Edward glared blackly at him. "There won't be a next time, not for Bella. I won't do it, I can't."

"Why not?" I was getting angry again now. "I know it's hard, but you've tasted my blood now. You've drunk from me and stopped, so unless I don't taste as good as I smell, one little bite should be no problem."

His jaw set, determination in every line of his features. "We aren't having this discussion anymore. I will not condemn you to live in darkness for eternity, and that is that."

My chin went up, my stubborn look back. "If you really believe that, you don't know me very well. Don't forget, you aren't the only vampire I know."

His lip pulled up in a snarl. "None of them would dare." The look he shot at his sister now was so ferocious, I couldn't imagine anyone being brave enough to stand against him. To her credit, she wasn't cowed, merely raising an eyebrow at him and folding her arms but saying nothing in argument.

"Alice already saw it," I pointed out, feeling a little bad about getting my new friend in even more trouble. "She told me it's going to happen."

"She also saw you die," he snapped back. "But that didn't happen, did it? Things can change."

"You won't catch me betting against Alice," Beau commented quietly. I nodded in agreement.

The room fell silent; the only sounds were the beeping of my heart monitor, the subtle whir of machinery, the ticking of the clock on the wall, and the distant noise of hospital hustle and bustle, muffled by the closed door. Edythe returned to standing behind Beau, her hands rested lightly on his shoulders. He was holding the fingers of her right hand, running his thumb slowly back and forth over her knuckles. Edward and I stared each other down, matching each other for determination. The old expression about unstoppable force and immovable object came to mind – I wondered idly which one of us was which.

Surprisingly, it was Edward who softened first. His expression changed to one of resignation, though not quite surrender just yet.

"You aren't going to let this go, are you?" he sighed.

"No. And you aren't going to change your mind either."

"Not a chance."

"So where does that leave us?" I wondered.

"I believe they call it an impasse," Edythe commented mildly.

Beau snorted. "That's a nice word for it. Looks more like a standoff to me."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head at him. My neck twinged and the movement made my head spin; even lying relatively still, everything hurt more with each passing minute.

Of course, Edward's keen eyes saw even the tiniest wince. "Please can we call the nurse now? All this arguing isn't good for you."

"So give in," my brother muttered.

We both ignored him.

"I don't want to go back to sleep," I admitted, hating how scared I suddenly sounded. I couldn't shake the fear that I would wake up to find he had disappeared.

Edythe smiled knowingly; even being unable to feel my desires, she seemed to understand me. "Don't worry, Bella, I'll make sure he stays put."

Edward smiled that beautiful, crooked smile that I loved so much, shifting closer to take my face gently in his hands. "I promise, I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here beside you, as long as it makes you happy."

"That's forever, you know," I warned him.

He tilted his head slightly sideways. "Oh really? I thought 'it might not even go anywhere'?"

I gave him a disbelieving look. "Even Renée should have been able to see through that one. I know you know better."

"You never know." His eyes were soft, adoring, just a hint of sadness in their dark depths. "Humans change all the time."

"Don't hold your breath."

The whole room burst out laughing at that one, and even though it hurt my ribs, I couldn't help joining in. Unfortunately, my pained gasps didn't go unnoticed; Edward was instantly worried and fussing again. Edythe helpfully pushed the call button and asked for more pain medication as I tried to settle myself, both of the boys hovering anxiously. Thankfully, it didn't take long for the matronly nurse from before to return, pulling a syringe from her pocket. Edward moved out of her way without having to be asked this time, though he still didn't look happy about it, and he hovered at the end of the bed, watching her movements intently. I focused on the ceiling, trying to keep my anxiety at bay; the monitor picked up pace again, and the nurse paused.

"Everything alright, sweetheart?"

I nodded, focused on my breathing.

"She hates needles," Beau explained helpfully.

"Oh, I've had a lot of those over the years. Don't you worry, hun, everything goes straight in your tube here, see? No more pokes in your arms."

I chanced a look across at what she was doing; thankfully the silver needle had already disappeared inside the attachment on the tube leading from a bag of fluids beside the bed down into my IV.

"You'll feel a lot better now," she assured me with a kind smile as she eased the plunger down. The clear fluid mixed seamlessly with what was already in the tube.

Almost instantly, I could feel the drowsy numbness spreading through me; my eyelids drooped, and consciousness slipped further from my grasp. Before it could escape me completely, I felt the touch of cold fingers on my cheeks again – the nurse must have left already.

"Stay," I managed to say, and even half-asleep I could hear how slurred it was.

"I will." His voice lulled me further into sleep, like the lullaby he had written for me. "As long as it makes you happy. As long as it's what's best for you."

I thought I might be frowning, but I couldn't completely feel my face anymore. "'S not the same thing," I managed to mumble sleepily.

Three voices laughed; I was quite the comedian today, apparently.

"Why don't we argue about it when you wake up?" Edward suggested.

"M'kay," I agreed.

Then his lips were at my ear, cold air wafting in my hair as he whispered, "I love you."

"Me too."

"I know." I could hear the smile in his voice.

I managed to summon the strength to turn my head towards him, searching for those icy lips of his. He knew what I wanted, and laid another gentle kiss on my lips.

"Thanks," I sighed happily as he pulled away.

"My pleasure."

I was ready to give in and let sleep take me again, but there was one more thing he had to hear. "Hey, Edward?"

"Yes, Bella?"

"I'm betting on Alice."