When Dean first woke for a moment he was disoriented. He went to sit up, remembering only when the pain flared in his shoulder that really wasn't a good idea. When it had eventually subsided to a dull throb he tried again, this time using the other arm to push up with, and glanced round the room. He saw Sam asleep in the other bed and it suddenly came back to him that they were at Missouri's.
"Great" he muttered under his breath, hoping she wasn't reading his mind already.
He got up slowly, wincing as every bruise decided to make itself known. Stretching gently, as much as was possible with one arm in a sling, he walked over to the window. When he looked out he could see it was after sunset, although not quite totally dark yet. Looking down at his watch he saw it was a little after 6pm.
Moving quietly so as not to disturb Sam, he opened the door and slipped out of the room. As he made his way down the stairs he looked around cautiously for Missouri. He knew she was most likely aware he was awake and moving around by now but he was deliberately trying not to think about anything specific.
For all Sam's reassurances that she wouldn't be poking around in their heads it still made him nervous to be in the same vicinity as someone who could read his mind if they wanted to.
It just wasn't normal.
As he walked into the front room he saw she was sitting on the couch, reading a book. She looked up as he came in and gave him a warm smile.
"Hey, Dean. I was starting to think you boys you were going to sleep through till morning." she said, a slightly teasing tone to her voice.
Dean smiled a little self consciously.
"Yeah, sorry about that. Those painkillers are pretty strong." he said.
"Which is why you never want to take them."
Dean looked at her sharply and she shook her head.
"Don't give me that look, boy, I'm not reading your mind. It's pretty obvious to anyone with half a brain."
Dean ducked his head, slightly embarrassed that she'd known what he was thinking and also slightly concerned now that he was apparently that transparent. Clearly he was slipping.
"Yeah, well. It makes sense in our game to always be ready. You never know what's round the corner." he said and Missouri gave him a long look.
"No. I guess you don't." she said after a moment.
Seeming to take pity on him she stood up.
"Why don't you sit yourself down? I was about to make some coffee – you want some?"
"Yeah, thanks." said Dean, easing himself onto the couch.
As he listened to Missouri moving about in the kitchen he tried to relax a little. It wasn't exactly her fault that the idea of psychics made him so uncomfortable. He'd never admitted it, but he was glad Sam's abilities seemed limited to premonitions and not mind reading. As well as his brother knew him – and that was too well in some respects – there was certain stuff he would rather keep to himself.
He was also aware that some of his reluctance about being here was down to where 'here' was, and the link between Missouri, their old home and John. If he was honest he'd been trying to prove a point by insisting they take a job so close to Lawrence, given how over-protective Sam was still being, but he'd known even before they got halfway through that it had been a mistake. And of course just to prove a point the universe had decided to step in and add some extra fun to the mix by leaving both of them more battered and bruised than usual.
He was seriously starting to consider kitting out the Impala with rabbit's feet, shamrocks, horseshoes and any other lucky charm you could think of.
Still lost in thought he jumped a little when Missouri came back in carrying two mugs. If she noticed she was kind enough not to say anything, simply handing him one of the mugs. He took it with his good arm and nodded his thanks.
They sat in silence for a few moments and Dean was just starting to think he was safe when Missouri spoke.
"So – since we're sat here with nothing better to do. Why don't you tell me how you boys have been doing lately?"
The tone was innocent but the intention wasn't. Dean covered his wince by taking a sip of coffee that was too hot and then coughing as he almost choked.
Missouri patted him on the back gently and looked almost amused at his reaction.
Smooth, Dean. Really smooth. he thought with a sigh.
Once he could breathe properly again he eyed Missouri slightly warily.
"We're fine." he said, mustering up his best confident expression.
Clearly it needed a little work if Missouri's reaction was anything to go by. She raised her eyebrows and said nothing, but the look spoke volumes.
He stood his ground for a moment before shifting uncomfortably. He looked away first, scanning the room as if seeking inspiration before reluctantly meeting her gaze again.
"Ok, fine – we've been better. But what do you expect?" he said, hating how defensive he sounded.
"I don't 'expect' anything, Dean. Seems to me you're the one who's maybe expecting too much, of yourself certainly." she said gently.
He frowned. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"It means a blind man could see how worried Sam is about you. And I guarantee you've been busy telling him everything's fine and trying to take care of it all, by yourself. You're too much like your Daddy in that respect."
Dean stiffened. "How about we leave my Dad out of this?"
Missouri sighed. "I'm not trying to criticize John, I'm just saying maybe it's not always the best thing to follow his example. Sam wants to help you get through this, together - it might not hurt to let him."
"I don't need Sam's help. We're doing just fine as we are."
Missouri raised her eyebrows. "Really? Cos it doesn't look that way to me and I've only seen you for a couple of hours."
Dean looked away again and took another gulp of coffee, this time thankfully not at boiling point. He was willing Sam to make an appearance, any second now. He wasn't sure he'd manage to keep things polite if Missouri kept pushing.
And this was without her knowing about..
Even as the thought came into his head, making his chest tighten as it always did, he heard Missouri gasp.
He snapped his head round to face her, ignoring the pain that caused in his shoulder, and saw her staring at him with glistening eyes and a compassionate look.
Oh, she did not just go there.
"Dean, honey, I am so sorry - I can't believe John said that to you!"
Yep. Apparently she did.
Dean put the mug down on the table deliberately and stood up, moving to the other side of the room to put some distance between them.
Like that helped.
"I thought you said you wouldn't read our minds?" he said with exaggerated calmness.
Missouri shook her head. "I didn't, I swear to you. But that thought just stood out so much it practically projected itself at me. I'm sorry, I couldn't not 'hear' it. Is this what you've been carrying around since John died?"
Dean leant back against the wall and would have folded his arms if it weren't for the sling.
"It's no big deal." he said in a voice that implied this was the end of the subject.
Missouri, as ever, ignored the tone completely.
"No big deal? Your Daddy tells you just before he dies that Sam might turn evil and you might have to kill him, and you say that's no big deal? Just who are you trying to fool here, Dean?"
"No offence, Missouri? But it's none of your business. Sam and I got it covered." he said, trying to maintain a certain level of politeness. He was reaching his limit though.
"Dean, I'm not here to judge. I'm a friend, I care about what happens to you and your brother, that's all. I just can't believe even John would be so stubborn as to keep this a secret and then dump it on you without any warning."
Dean stepped forward, his eyes blazing.
"Don't go blaming Dad for this, ok? He did the best he could! What was he supposed to do, huh? I mean how do you think he felt, knowing what he did for all that time and keeping it a secret? He had no choice, he knew he wasn't gonna be around so he had to warn me – warn us." said Dean, practically shouting now.
For all that he had his own issues with what John had done, he wouldn't stand there and listen to someone else criticise him. He just wouldn't.
"I know you want to defend your father, and I respect that, but he was wrong about this." began Missouri but she didn't get a chance to finish.
"You know nothing about it!"
Sam had been halfway down the stairs when he'd heard Dean's voice start to get louder. By the time his brother yelled those words he was at the bottom. Moving faster than anyone using a cane should be able to, he burst into the living room, taking in the scene with one glance.
Dean looked up at him and despite the fact he was clearly upset and angry about something, he managed to look exasperated for a second.
"You wanna slow down there, Hoppalong, or are you trying to break your neck?"
Sam ignored the comment and glared at Missouri.
"Are you alright?" he said to Dean and Missouri almost moved back slightly at the look Sam was giving her.
She'd witnessed the impressive sight of Dean in protective mode when Sam had been trapped in their old house by the poltergeist. She'd not seen it in Sam though, until now, and it was by no means any less impressive. She actually found herself pitying anything that came after Dean while Sam was around.
Dean took a deep breath and visibly tried to calm himself down.
"I'm fine, Sam. We were just talking." he said.
Sam didn't look entirely convinced but he did back down a little, sensing Dean didn't want to make a big deal out of his outburst.
"About what?" he said, limping over to the couch to take the weight off his knee, which was now protesting the quick movement he'd just made.
Dean glanced at Missouri and then back at his brother.
"She knows about what Dad said. Before he died. She read it from me." he said, slightly accusingly.
Sam turned to Missouri and she held up her hands before he could say anything.
"It was an accident. The image was pretty strong and got a hit before I could stop it."
Sam looked slightly appeased but the tenseness didn't leave his posture and she realised it was partly out of concern for Dean still and partly now out of worry about what she might be thinking. She reached out and put her hand on his arm, something she would never risk with the elder Winchester.
"Sam, you know I don't believe there is anything remotely evil about you. Just because something might happen in the future doesn't mean it's written in stone." she said gently.
Sam ducked his head and Dean gave her a grateful look.
"That's what I keep telling him." he said and Sam looked over to him briefly before meeting Missouri's gaze again.
"You can't deny it's a possibility though. Dad must have thought so, otherwise he wouldn't have said anything."
Dean sighed and Missouri got the impression they'd had this conversation more than once.
"Sam, come on! Dad was being cautious, that's all. Making sure we had all the info. There is no way anything is going to happen to you – end of story."
Sam's shoulders slumped and he leant back against the couch.
"Just because you keep saying you're going to stop it doesn't make it true, Dean. You're not invincible, in case you haven't noticed. What if the demon uses me against you, huh? What if that's the first thing they think of?"
You didn't need to be psychic to see that this was Sam's greatest fear. It was coming off him in waves. And it was equally clear that Dean was frustrated as hell he couldn't convince Sam nothing was going to happen.
Deciding this might be better tackled if they weren't both in the same room Missouri stood up.
"Dean, you sit back down before you fall down. And quit glaring at me, cos you know it ain't gonna do you no good. Sam, I want you to come with me for a second, ok?"
Sam glanced up at his brother and Missouri saw Dean look at her appraisingly for a moment before nodding. Sam stood up slowly and limped after her as they made their way towards the kitchen.
Dean walked back across to the now empty couch and sank down on it wearily. He rubbed his forehead, feeling the headache growing already and knowing it had nothing to do with getting thrown around the day before. He had this particular headache pretty much every time Sam insisted on bringing up the whole 'dark side' argument.
He really wished that he hadn't told him sometimes. If he'd thought carrying around the secret by himself was bad, having his brother ask him to kill him if he turned evil was a hundred times worse.
Leaning his head back and closing his eyes he wondered briefly exactly how Missouri was planning on tackling this one.
He just hoped she had more success than he'd had so far.