Lying on the wrinkled bed sheets, I stared up at the cracked ceiling. There was a water spot in the corner by the window, and the smudged brown lines almost looked like a dog. A collie dog. That extra little smudge could almost be the tongue, lapping up the whiteness.
"You okay?" Matt mumbled around his lit cigarette, his mussed hair hanging past his ears and forehead; that boy really needed a haircut.
"I'm fine," I replied, turning my attention back to the water stain.
"There was still some blood. Does it hurt?"
I shook my head with a smile, my lips stretching out. "Not really. I'll be fine."
Blowing smoke out of the corner of his mouth, Matt leaned closer to me and gazed at me with his blue eyes. "You…you seem happier Mels. I see you smiling a lot more."
"Of course I'm happy," I chuckled, closing my eyes. His nicotine breath washed over me, giving me a pleasant buzz. "I've got you, and you love me."
His bony fingers brushed against my lips before his lips descended on them. Struggling to recover from the breathtaking orgasm, neither of us could muster much energy in that kiss, but it was still comforting. Love didn't always have to be the fast paced pounding-ass action. It could be simple and warm. My hand was rubbing the back of his neck at the base of his skull. The hair there was so long that it was a little curly. I just curled it around my fingers contentedly, humming as the kiss lazily drifted on.
The annoying buzz of my cellular vibrating broke us apart and I muttered an obscenity. Stupid bodyguards couldn't leave me alone. Groaning, I rolled over onto my stomach, mimicking Matt's pose. The only thing missing was my cigarette. "Should I answer?" I asked, tilting my head to get a better view of his eyes.
"Of course," he replied tiredly. "If you don't, they'll just come barging in here."
"Yeah, I know that." For some reason, I felt a little disappointed. Maybe I was hoping that he would say that he wouldn't care if they did come bursting in and found us naked in his bed. Maybe I was hoping that he would be ready to protect me from everyone, and that we could live happily together.
Grabbing my dress from the top of his bed's headboard, I slipped it on before limping towards the phone. Sure that my voice sounded all just-got-banged, I sent Jerry a text letting him know that I was in the middle of a level with Matt. A few seconds later, his unhappy reply was sent back to me. I flipped the device shut and dropped it on the floor. Matt was sitting on the edge of his bed now, slipping into his torn jeans.
"C'mere," he yawned, holding his arm outstretched towards me.
Feeling that giddiness swelling inside of me like helium, I practically floated to his side where he proceeded to snuggle into my leg. His arm wrapped around my waist, and his cheek rubbed against the junction of the lacy edging of the dress and my skin. A draft from the window blew past, whisking my sigh away. This is how I wanted to live the rest of my life. In love and happy. Cared for and caring for.
"Do you want to go to the movies Friday?" I asked, rubbing his scalp tenderly.
"I've got work," he mumbled against my thigh.
"Can't you take off?"
"Actually, I already had plans for Friday."
I bit my lip and tried not to be too disappointed. He wasn't going to go with me because of previous plans? Why wasn't I informed about his plans? He never said anything about it to me! Jerk. "Oh?"
"Yup. I'm going out on a date with this really hot chick so that we can declare a big F-you to the prom scene."
Literally jerking in surprise, I looked down to see his open and honest expression staring back up at me. My mouth gaped for a minute as I struggled to come up with the strongest expletive known to man to lash out at him. He was ditching me for some girl?! And to mock the prom-scene on top of that? Dead. He was so dead!!!
"I-you…no, I-"
A grin blossomed on his face as he squeezed my hips. "You. I'm taking you out to dinner and the arcade."
The hand that was ready to bitch-slap the shit out of him made a slow descent into a caress and I found myself in his arms, kissing. That was the first time anyone honestly called me a…a girl. He called me by what I was. I was his hot chick. We were going out on a date. Food for me and arcade for him.
Perfect.
Another buzzing came from my phone, so I had to pull away, but I must have been sending out super-happy vibes because Matt started laughing for no reason. I texted another note to my oversized babysitter and then crawled back to my Mattie. "You jerk," I giggled. "I thought you were taking out someone else."
"Well, you already gave me permission to get a girl and take her to prom."
"Yeah, but that was before we got together! That doesn't count!"
"~Oh yes it does~" he teased, stroking my cheeks. "Now, let's hurry up and shower before your guys go ballistic."
"Okay," I agreed glumly.
"Yeah, I'll be working extra tomorrow so that I can take Friday off. Can you take notes in class for me?"
"Sure."
With that all cleared up, I pulled him out of the bed and we proceeded to take a quick shower together. Rather, it was supposed to be a quick shower. Being wet and so close to each other, we were perfectly ready for another round of sex. Screw the bodyguards, they could wait.
Matt's powerful arms were easily holding me up, his elbows connected to the back of my knees, and my arms were wrapped around his neck for extra support. The soap and water made it easier for him to push into me and it didn't take long for me to be moaning loudly as I tried to push down on each of his thrusts. He was puffing heavily, but his motions didn't slow down any; they actually sped up, squeezing a few incoherent screams out of me. Oh, I loved how he moved inside of me, how he could tear me open and release the creature hidden within me. I had never screamed so much in my life, and never in pleasure, but in his embrace it was far too easy for me. He was the drug and I was begging for more.
"Mmmn, kiss," I mumbled.
He happily obliged and mashed our dripping lips together. The taste of his fruity shampoo mingled in there a little, but I ignored it in favor of him tongue fucking me. My throat let out happy little hums and I felt his lips smiling against mine. My manicured nails dug into his shoulders teasingly, hard enough to leave welts but nothing more. I didn't like hurting Matt, but he seemed to get turned on if I did little things like that. His stiff cock pounding into me let me know that.
"Hey, Mail, are you home?!!" The crash of the front door being slammed open rang out.
We froze, looking at each other with sheer panic. That was definitely the voice of his dad, and where his dad was, there was the nosy bitch of a mom.
"Mail, Mommy got you something nice!"
"Shit!" Matt hissed, pulling out of me in a rush and dropping me onto my unsteady feet. I fell against the tiled wall, wincing at the pain in my numb legs and at the sharp ache in my rear. He was already out of the shower, towel drying his hair and getting his clothes on in record time. Before rushing out, he dragged the curtain closed, cutting off my view of him.
Even though he ran out of the bathroom and moved to his parents I could hear everything that they were saying. Crappy small apartment.
"Mail? What the hell are you doing in the bathroom? Jerking off to those damn noisy neighbors?"
Ah, shit. They must have heard us. Stupid thin walls!
"No!" he yelled in annoyance. "I spilt some soda on me and Mello, so we were washing it off."
"Did you spill it on my carpet?" his mother bitched.
"No."
"Where's the can?"
"Mom, I tossed it out the fucking window. Do you want a fucking play-by-play of my life? Oh wait, if I did that, you'd have to hear about how your son has to work to provide for this family and take care of his sisters!"
"Don't get all pissy," his dad jumped in. "But seriously, that's just weird. Were you guys showering together?"
"Dad, that's just gross."
Turning off the water dejectedly, I tried not to be too hurt by his statement. I knew that he couldn't answer truthfully, but it still hurt to hear those words from his mouth. I was such a needy pansy. Towel-drying myself quickly, I rushed to get dressed but came to a horrifying realization. I walked into here with my dress. My pants and stuff were in his room. Oh great, like that's not awkward at all. If I walked out in nothing but a towel to recover my clothes, they'd clearly see the bruises from our love-making! Biting my lip, I looked around for anything that I could use. Alas, his bathroom was bare other than eight toothbrushes and one tube of toothpaste. Beautiful.
"Hey, are you okay in there?" his mother called out, having realized that I was taking a little too long since I already shut the water off.
"Yeah, it's just…I uh, my eye."
"You're eye?" she asked incredulously. She may have been nothing but a groupie but she was far from stupid. That woman could sniff a scandal a mile away.
"Yes, my eye!" I snapped. "Your stupid son threw that soda into my eye!" Okay, even I realized how lame that sounded.
"…into his eye?" Matt's dad whispered. I could already picture the murderous glare Matt was shooting into my direction.
"Matt, do you have any of that eye cream?"
"Eye…cream?" he asked in a strained voice. I realized too late that there was no such thing as an eye cream that goes into the eyes. Hell, I was burying us both into a deeper and deeper hole. My code language was obviously not working.
"You know what I mean!" I tried, hoping that he would realize that I needed my clothes. "It used to be in my pocket. In my pants."
"What eye cream?" his mother asked.
"Fucking shit Mello, don't you have your-" His voice froze in mid-rant. Ah, the idiot got it. There was silence for a few minutes before I heard him head to his room. "Mom, Dad, can you check out that new ceiling leak in the girls' room?" he asked in a begging tone. "You said you'd do it last time."
His parents seemed to be thrown off by the sudden change in topics. "What's he going on about?" his rock star dad asked the mom.
"Hey, he's your son," she accused. "Takes after you more than me, so you tell me what the hell he's smoking."
"Are you on pot again?" his dad tried.
"Dad!! Just check the fucking hole in my sisters' room!!!"
"Sheesh, fine."
I heard the two adults move past the bathroom door and into the other bedroom; soon afterwards, Matt's feet rushed to the door. "Open up," he demanded in a whisper.
The door was cracked open and he shoved my clothes at me before disappearing into the room after his parents.
~_~_~_~_~_
To say that I was excited would have been an understatement. Now that Matt and I were going on a date, I was freaking out about getting all dolled up. My little white dress was most definitely not going to work out for us going out to dinner and the arcade. Not having any other dresses, I resorted to doing something unethical. After all, nothing was going to ruin my very first date.
Panting, I looked over my shoulder to see if I was being followed by any mall security officers. So far, I was in the clear. Surprisingly, it really wasn't all that hard to steal a nice looking dress from JC Penny's; I literally just walked out and acted like nothing when the alarm went off. No one came out after me, and since I had a hoodie there was no fear of being identified from the cameras. Since I was only working with a backpack, I had to settle for a simple dress, but the one that caught my eye was going to be absolutely perfect.
The simple white background was covered in elegant prints of black flowers and leaves, scrolling across the expanse delicately. However, the old school color scheme was applied to a very modern looking cut. The wide straps allowed for the neckline to hang down a little lower than usual, and on the sides were two coin purse pockets at about the middle of each thigh. As a final nice touch, the bottom edge of the dress was the same material as the black wide shoulder straps and it cinched in at the thighs. The shape was absolutely perfect for my body, allowing for my nasty stomach and mostly terrible thighs to be covered, but still showing off my awesome calves and shoulders. On top of that, it wasn't made with big breasted women in mind, so my lack of mammary glands wouldn't be an issue.
"Matt's gonna love it," I whispered to myself as I quickly made my way home.
My small window of opportunity was quickly closing and if I took too long, my bodyguards were bound to notice that I wasn't in the house anymore. Just thinking about the shit I would get if they found out made me shudder; even worse was the thought of my dad finding out that I was slipping out of the house. If something were to happen to me then he wouldn't have any heirs left and he would be forced to pass the business to some other family. Not only would his dynasty end, but his pride would be wounded as well. Pride in being able to successfully run the business for generations and generations seemed to be a pretty big deal to the mafia heads that I knew. Personally, I think that they were taking the Godfather movies too seriously.
The hardest part of my entire trek was getting in and out of the house. Because my family was such a large target for other competing criminals, my dad spared no expense with the security. There were beefy men standing around everywhere packing serious heat and they weren't afraid to use it. He also invested in a bunch of big ugly dogs that would occasionally chase me for the heck of it. Thankfully, I didn't have to worry about an electrical security system because my dad was suspicious of technology. That, and he sucked at using it.
Peeking between the pickets in our fence, I counted off the seconds as the guards rotated their positions. I paid special attention to men with the beasties just to be sure that I wasn't going to be chased down today. Those stupid dogs hated me. After a few tense minutes I was finally ready to jump the fence and make the mad dash to the house. Making sure that my backpack straps were nice and tight, I crouched down and coiled my muscles, ready to make the leap.
"Mihael Keehl!" A strong hand clenched my arm and dragged my backwards, completely knocking me off balance. My heart stopped as my mind raced through all its databanks trying to place that voice. Was it Dad?! Oh hell, I was dead. Dead as a doornail. All my dreams were going to be crushed underfoot on one fateful afternoon. A firm shake brought me back to reality and away from my psychodrama. "I'm talking to you!"
Wincing in anticipation of a huge beating, it took me a few seconds to realize that the person holding me was definitely not my father. "B-butch?"
"Yeah, it's me, you idiot!" He was whispering harshly, not at all loosening his tight grip on my arm. "Where the hell have you been?"
"I was j-just, um, you know-"
"Are you just asking to be kidnapped and tortured to death?!" he hissed, pulling me even closer.
"N-no!"
My heart was pounding painfully in my chest, and even though he looked like he was ready to kill me, I saw his expression soften a bit. There was undoubtedly fear in my eyes and I wouldn't be surprised if he could feel my racing heart. His grip never loosened, but at least he didn't look as angry with me.
"Listen, you can't be stupid like that, okay? Our lives are tied with yours and even if you feel like goin' out and killing yourself, remember that you're condemning a bunch of guys to die along with you. Got it?" I nodded enthusiastically. "Good. Now, let's go inside before Jerry pops a blood vessel."
"J-jerry knows too?!"
"Not yet, but any longer and I would have had to tell him. He's not my boss for nothing."
"Please don't say anything!" He raised an eyebrow at my behavior, but I was too panicked to care. If Jerry or Dad found out, they would be so pissed that I wouldn't be allowed to go on my date! This was too important to me, and I refused to let them get in the way of it. "Please!"
Chuckling at my desperation, he patted my head. "Fine, I won't say anything this time. But, if I catch your scrawny ass out alone again, I'm gonna report it."
"Thank you so much!" I cried, nearly in tears.
He slapped a hand over my mouth and looked around quickly. "We could get caught if you squeal like that again," he grunted. "Now, hurry up."
Following his instructions, we made it into the main house quickly. A guard passed by us and gave Butch a friendly wave. There was no running away from the dogs or having to duck behind bushes. On one hand, I was a little happy that it wasn't difficult to get in, but on the other hand, I paid the price because I got caught. If he ever caught me wandering again, I'd be dead. That just meant that I would have to be more careful when I went on my date with Matt. Yup, no amount of threats or warnings was going to keep me home tomorrow night. As I started up the stairs, I paused to thank him.
"Thanks, Butch." I smiled warmly.
"No problem, kiddo." Before I could continue on my trek to my room, he spoke again. "Hey, give me your bag."
My blood ran cold instantly as I tried to comprehend what he just said. D-did he just tell me to hand over my bag. As in, the bag where my new dress was? "M-my bag?"
"Yeah."
We stared at each other awkwardly for a few seconds. There was no way to get the dress out and get it to my room without him seeing it. Fuck, if he saw what was in it, I'd be toast. Forget not going on a date with Matt, I'd never be let out of the house again. "Why?" I asked protectively.
"I don't need to tell you," he replied bluntly. "You're my charge, so you do what I say. Or, do you want me to tell Jerry about your little adventure today?"
I was screwed. Totally screwed. My hands worked slowly, pulling the backpack off my shoulders and sliding it around in front of me. They were trembling, much like the rest of my body as I stepped forward. There was absolutely nothing that I could do in this situation. He would get even more suspicious if I held out any longer. Since he was my security, he had every right to go through my bag. But this had never happened before! No one had ever gone through my bags!!! What could I do? The answer came in the form of him agitatedly snatching the backpack out of my hands. Nothing, I could do nothing.
Butch turned on his heel and headed for the family room where the other guys were laughing loudly and probably playing poker. Doomed, I was doomed. Still in shock, I turned around and headed to my room. Should I call Matt now while I still could and explain what happened? Should I try running away? Where would I go? I could go to Matt's place, but they'd figure that out too quickly. Maybe I could go to B's house? No…he had a lover and a life, and I had no right to intrude. Besides, if I just up and ran to his house, banging on the door and screaming "Sanctuary!" I would have to tell him what was going on. He would have to know that I was a cross-dressing freak who was unthankful for the body that God provided.
Sliding down to the floor, I weakly crawled to the night table. Fumbling around in the drawer for a few seconds, I managed to get a hold of the item that I was looking for. Pulling gently, a rosary was revealed from the chaos in the drawer. I didn't really remember who gave the beads to me or even when I got them, but they had been a constant companion as I grew up. A few years back I was even known for never being parted from them, but then I went and fell for Matt. He had gone from someone that I could barely tolerate, to an acquaintance, to a friend, to a best friend. And then it just slapped me in the face as I watched him playing his stupid games. I was attracted to him.
Countless nights spent praying fervently availed to nothing and I still couldn't get him out of my mind. He was there in my dreams, haunting me even in day dreams. I was desperate to feel normal, to deny that the attraction was only deepening every day, but nothing changed. So I got angry and threw the rosary into the drawer, promising myself that I would never pray again.
It was a promise that I had kept until today. Ever since then, I never really had a deep conversation with God, never pouring out my heart to Him. Now was different. There was nothing else I could do. Completely helpless, I began counting off the beads and saying my Hail Mary.
H-hail Mary,
Full of grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
And blessed is the fruit
Of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
Pray for us sinners now,
And at the hour of death.
Amen.
The familiar words were whispered into the room, comforting me as they spilled out. Praying to the Merciful Virgin was like a balm to my wounded heart. She knew what it was like to have people speak against her when they didn't know shit. If anyone could understand me or pray on behalf of me, it was the Holy Virgin. Surely she could see how desperate I was, how much a truly did love Matt. This wasn't some kind of joke or fling. I was in love with Matt; he was my only shot at true happiness. Again and again, I prayed, clenching the beads so tightly that they left imprints in my palm. Please, things just had to work out.
A knock on the door shot fear through my veins. "Yes?" I called out. Surprisingly, my voice was calm.
Butch opened the door and looked surprised to see me with my rosary. "Here, I'm just returning your bag."
He tossed it at me carelessly. I was dumbfounded. "W-wha?"
The smart-ass laughed. "Hey, I just sewed in a tracking device to your bag so that I'll be able to keep a better eye on you."
With that, the door clicked shut, leaving me alone once more.
~_~_~_~_~_
Panting loudly, I jogged across the street and towards the McDonalds where Matt and I had agreed to meet. Because I had to be extra careful about leaving the house, I had to leave only fifteen minutes before we agreed to meet, which only left me with five minutes to get dolled up. I was sure that my make-up was a mess and my hair was sticking up everywhere, but I had no choice. My modest heels were making my calves burn already, but I pushed forward, not wanting to make him wait any longer.
As soon as I burst through the doors, my eyes caught sight of him. Immediately, I felt my heart leap into my throat and I just stood there, absolutely floored. My Mattie who could barely coordinate his clothes and who had never worn an ironed piece of clothing in his life was sitting in the corner wearing a suit. Like, a three-piece suit, complete with a tie and clean new shoes. And like the proverbial cherry to top the cake, he was wearing those god-awful goggles.
Noticing me, a smile broke out on his face and he stood up, giving me a better look at him. I continued to gawk like a fish out of water. He strutted over with all his power of hotness and stood in front of me. "Hey there."
"H-hi," I replied lamely. My tongue didn't exactly want to work with me.
His hand came up and smoothed down some of my hair. "Why do you look like you just ran a marathon?"
"Uh, I jogged to here from the bus stop."
"What?! In those things?" he screeched pointing at my heels. I blushed as I noticed people staring at us.
"Yes, now can you tone it down a bit? You're making people stare!"
He blushed a little as well, and scratched the back of his neck. "Er, sorry."
We stood there a little longer, admiring each other before some jerk complained that we were in the way. "What, you can't walk around us?" I snarled at the guy. Really, some people could be so rude.
"We should really order some food," Matt chuckled, taking hold of my arm. "Then, if you want to, you can go to the bathroom and fix up."
"Do I look that bad?!"
He patted my head and chuckled some more. "No, you're perfect. But, I know that you won't take my word for it, so might as well check up on yourself."
Once the food was ordered, I made my way to the restrooms. Thankfully, I remembered to walk into the girls' restroom. The powers above were totally on my side tonight! As soon as I stepped into the restroom, I felt my breath catch in my throat. This was literally the first time in my life that I had ever been able to walk into a girls' bathroom. There were no nasty urinals with shameless men holding their dicks, no shit on the walls; nothing but clean stalls and a sink with scented antibacterial soap.
I cringed as I saw my reflection. Fly-away hair! Thankfully a bit of water was able to calm the frizz down, and after a bit of touch up on the make-up I was presentable again. A sniff to the armpits made sure that I didn't reek of sweat, and a spray of my Oasis Mouth Moisturizing spray made sure that my breath smelt like minty goodness. Yes, I was going to eat the most fattening and greasy food on the planet, but my breath still needed to smell good!
By the time I got back to our table, Matt had already gotten the food. As soon as I sat down, he grinned stupidly and just stared at me. I blushed and looked around, but there was no one else near us. "Yes?" I tried, hoping that he wasn't going to mess with my mind today. I was too much of a nervous wreck.
"Give me your hand."
"Uh, okay." I held out my hand. Reaching into the pocket of his suit, Matt pulled out a crushed (but still beautiful!) corsage, and strapped it to my wrist. I was speechless.
"There," he chuckled. "Now you're finished. I know that you really wanted to go to prom, so I decided that we'll have our own prom. Well, more like a non-prom. What do you think?"
"But, Mattie, I didn't get you anything!" I protested. I still couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that Matt had planned this whole thing out so well. It was perfect and I felt a bit guilty for being selfish. The entire time I had been worried about myself and making myself look perfect without a thought of giving Matt anything in return. After all, if it wasn't for him, none of this would have been possible. Who else would have been willing to take a boy out to a non-prom?
"Eh, it's okay. I got a boutineer for myself 'cause I knew that it would be weird if you had the corsage and I didn't have anything. I don't want you getting embarrassed. But, can you put it on? I haven't got a clue of where it's supposed to go."
Me? Get embarrassed of him? I took the also slightly abused boutineer and carefully pinned it to his lapel. "Matt?"
"Yeah?"
I looked straight into his eyes, ignoring the fact that he had those goggles on. "Why would I ever get embarrassed of you? I mean, seriously."
His face softened and he patted my hand. "Hey, let's not get all serious now. There's plenty of time for that later. Ready to eat?"
With a smile, I nodded before digging into my high calorie meal. My diet could go on hiatus for a night. Matt wolfed down his overly priced "value" meal and we split a McFlurry. I could feel my arteries clogging, but it was worth it just to spend time with my boyfriend. We talked about a whole lot of nothing, and laughed at stupid things. It was just like old times except that I was in a dress and he was in a suit. To all appearances we were nothing more a couple preparing for prom or getting ready to crash one.
"Feel like going to the arcade?" he asked, wiping a smudge of McFlurry from my cheek.
"Sure! You just want me to kick your ass in Mortal Kombat, don't you?"
"Pffft, when have you ever beaten me?"
"Wednesday."
"Oh come on! You were playing the game naked!"
"So? I don't recall fairness being a requirement for kicking your ass."
"Tch, tch, such language for a lady."
I smiled and ruffled his hair affectionately. "Well, if you played the game naked too, you might have had a chance of beating me."
"Hmm, maybe next time? Let's get going before the arcade gets too packed."
Taking a hold of my hand, Matt led me to his pink Mustang. The drive to his favorite arcade didn't take long and we were soon in a cramped room with a bunch of games and even more nerds.
"Wow, I guess we're not the only ones not at prom," I snorted. "Notice how we're the only ones even remotely good looking?"
He snickered. "Remotely? I don't know about you, but I'm pretty damn hot."
"That you are. So, what game do you want to play first? Mortal Kombat is taken."
Matt looked around for a second before grinning widely. "Since this is our customized non-prom, I think it's only right that we have a dance."
"Dance?"
"Yeah, DDR style."
"Oh hell," I groaned as he dragged me to the extremely loud and bright contraption better known as the Dance Dance Revolution game. "I can't dance in these heels!"
"Take them off!" Ignoring my complaints, he began loading up the machine with quarters.
Sighing in defeat, I unstrapped my high heel sandals. "I warn you, there isn't an ounce of dancing ability in my body." My swaying to music in the privacy of my room did not count.
"Oh, you'll do fine. Now, let's go to the advanced levels."
"Are you crazy?!!!" Regardless of my feelings, and lack of experience, Matt chose the hardest levels. "I'm going to make a fool of myself…"
"All right, ready?" he giggled as he stepped onto the dance pad.
Even though I tried, there was no way that I could be upset with him. Hell, he even giggled. My Mattie giggled, and boy did I find that hot. "Don't be mad if I suck!"
"Let's go!!!"
Okay, if dancing on the stupid game wasn't bad enough, Matt chose the worst song to dance to. Yes, the Hamster Dance. It only took a few seconds of missing the stupid arrows before I got pissed off and narrowed my focus. Let it never be said that I wasn't a competitive ass.
"Is that it, Mattie?" I panted as my feet flew over the colored arrows on the dance pad. "Aren't you supposed to be, ah, good at this game?"
"You can only, whew, say that when you're ahead!" he retorted easily.
A crowd was gathering around us as we faced off. Even though I knew that there wasn't a chance that I was going to beat Matt, it didn't stop me from trying. I hated being beat, but even worse than that was giving up. There was no way that I was going to just give up and let him beat me without a fight. I had pride! Too much, maybe.
The laugh that bubbled over was inevitable. It started off as a smile, and then as a shared look between us. Soon enough, though, we were both laughing hysterically, fighting to stay alive in this insane game. I had stubbed my toes several times already and Matt nearly tripped over his feet, but it was all part of the fun. We were being utter idiots, and it didn't matter at all. I couldn't remember having been this happy before Matt and I hooked up. He was the best thing that could have ever happened, and I would treasure every moment with him. The crowd was cheering for us, and laughing along at our insanity, but it was all in fun. Finally, we reached the last round.
"Noooo!" I giggled as the music began. "Not Lollipop!"
"Come with me honey, I'm your sweet sugar candy man," Matt tried to sing along between his panting and laughing. "…Bite me I'm yours if you're hungry please understand…"
"You are my lollipop!" I screamed out. "Sugar, sugar drop!"
By the end of the song, my legs were burning and my lungs couldn't seem to get enough oxygen. Strong arms wrapped around my waist and Matt effortlessly swung me around. "Hey, you didn't totally suck on that," he teased as soon as he set me down.
"Shut up," I giggled, searching for my sandals. I found them quickly and leaned on Matt so that I could get them on.
"Dude, you rocked!" some nerd exclaimed to Matt.
My lover blushed a little and scratched the back of his neck. "Thanks, man."
"You're lucky to have a girlfriend like that," the guy continued in awe. "I mean, hot and plays games? Sweet."
"Hey, I'm taken," I teased, grabbing a firm hold of Matt's arm. He looked down at me and gave me a quick kiss on my sweaty forehead.
"Yeah, I'm lucky."
The guy got the hint, and left us alone. Even though we were in a room full of people and were being bumped and jostled I couldn't help but feel like we the only ones there. There was so much love in my heart that I felt like I would explode at any minute. Almost unconsciously, I reached up and pulled his goggles down. I'm not sure why he insisted on hiding his eyes from me, but I loved to see them. They were always so intense and so beautiful. Just looking at them would take my breath away.
My thumbs stroked his cheeks, and that's when I noticed how tired he really looked. There were pronounced bags under his eyes and his skin was really pale. There was a weary look in his eyes and I felt my heart hurt a little. I didn't know what had happened or why he was so exhausted, and there was nothing that I could do to make it better. Again, I couldn't help but acknowledge how completely selfish I was. This whole night had been about me, and here he was, totally wiped out. How had he managed to be so energetic?
"Are you okay?" I whispered. I really wanted to be more giving, to help him in any way possible. This relationship wasn't supposed to be a one-way street where he gave and gave while I took and took. I wanted to be dependable and to be able to make him happy.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he tried to reassure me. "Come on, this is your night, let's not screw this up."
Getting on my tippy toes, I pressed a soft kiss to each eyelid. There wasn't anything that I could do for him in my situation right now, but in my mind I swore that I would do whatever it takes to pay him back. If it meant running away from my future and my family, I would do that in a heartbeat. Nothing meant more to me than Matt. "I love you, Mail, I really do."
"Um, is Misa interrupting anything?"
At first, I didn't think anything of the high-pitched voice that made its way to us, but I felt Matt tense up and I saw him pale. Jerking around to face the speaker, I was practically floored. Standing in front of me was the sluttiest thing I had ever seen, but what was worse was that she looked familiar. Too familiar in fact. Blond hair, blue eyes, a short hair cut, pale skin…yes, she looked like a warped reflection of me.
"W-what?" I replied shakily. Who was this bitch, and how did she know Matt?!
"It's nothing," Matt snapped, trying to pull me away.
The girl tilted her head in a grotesquely cute way, and a sorry smile curled on her painted lips. "Oh, sorry, Matt! Misa just thought that she saw you and wanted to see how you were. Misa didn't mean to bother Mattie and his new girlfriend."
I felt like ice water had been poured over me, snapping me back to reality. "Who's she?!" I demanded angrily. Fuck, why did she look such much like me and why the hell did she call him "Mattie"? Only I called him that! "Why the fuck did she call you 'Mattie'?!!"
"I said it's nothing," he begged trying to pull me away, but I wasn't going to have that. I jerked my arm away from him and grabbed the delicate girl's wrist threateningly. "Who the hell are you?!"
She looked a bit frightened, but I didn't care. I would beat the information out of her if I had to. "M-misa!" she squeaked. "Misa is a f-friend of Mattie's."
"Don't call him that!" I was near tears now. In all the years that I had known Matt, never once had he mentioned that he had female friends. Sure, I knew that he had some geek friends at school, but come to think about it, he never mentioned them either. I just knew of their existence, but I couldn't think of any of their names or faces. They were nothing more than shadows. Did all of them call Matt by that special name, by the one that I screamed out when we made love?
"Mello, you have to stop!" He was trying to pull me away from her, but I couldn't let go.
"Y-you don't have the right!" I screamed at her. By now, I really was crying.
"But Misa always called him that!" she defended, trying to pull her wrist out of my bruising grip.
Matt managed to tear us apart and he held me back before I could do worse to that little whore. Who else would wear a skirt up to the crotch and fishnets with those chunky boots that looked like they came right out of a Hot Topic ad? Who in their right mind would be wearing a fucking corset and all that gaudy jewelry?!
"Mello, snap out of it!"
This Misa rubbed her wrist and backed away. "Owie! Misa thinks that Matt's newest girlfriend grabs like a man! And she's crazy! Misa never did things like that!"
A knife being thrusted into my heart wouldn't have hurt as much as those words did. I slapped Matt across the face before racing out of the arcade. I could no longer control myself as I shoved past people. My mind was whirling with the shocking news. Misa was Matt's girlfriend. He had girlfriends. He had friends. Matt never told me anything about them. Was he afraid that they would be beaten up by my dad's goons? Did he think that I would get jealous and off them? Would I have? No!
"Wait, Mello! Stop!" An arm yanked me back, stopping me from rushing out into oncoming traffic. "Fuck, what are you doing?!"
"Get away!" I screeched, trying to fight off those stupid arms that had held me so tenderly. Those arms that I had loved to be wrapped in.
"Don't be stupid!"
"Why didn't you tell me?! You fucking liar, why didn't you tell me!"
Those blue eyes were filled with frustration, anger, confusion, and worry, but I couldn't see anything else. There was no explanation. "Liar? Look, I didn't lie about anything!"
"She was your girlfriend!"
He gritted his teeth for a second before glaring at me. "So what? Yeah, I've dated a bunch of girls before. Who cares?"
Hearing him admit it hurt far worse that than stupid girl's words. "I care! Why didn't you tell me?"
"Why should I? You're not my fucking mother, I don't have to tell you every aspect of my life! Damn, you're all the fucking same! You all just want to butt into my life and control every fucking aspect! I don't rule your damn life!"
"I don't have a life, Matt!" I screamed. It was hurting so much, I wasn't even sure of what I would say or do next. I just wanted to curl up under my covers and pretend that this had never happened, that I had never fallen for him. "Y-you can just go out and do whatever the hell you want, but I can't! I'm trapped, and I thought that you of all people would know that!"
"Don't be so dramatic," he hissed. "Contrary to what you think, I can't do whatever the hell I want! I have a fucking job to pay for the food my sisters eat, I dig shit out of the garbage so that I can have something to eat, and I'm trying to be better than my family by getting a damn education! So sue me if I want to spend what little free time I have with a girl!"
I almost couldn't breathe. My hands were clenched over my heart and my head was hurting with the worst headache I had ever had. "Was I your first?" I whispered, closing my eyes and letting the tears fall.
"Come on, Mello, don't do this." He was back to begging.
"No. You have to answer. Was I…your first?"
Pause.
"No."
The carefully crafted illusion that I had created shattered. I didn't know the person standing in front of me. I never did.
To be continued…
Author's notes: I can't help but wonder if anyone caught the reference to A Romance of the Two Dancing Girls at the beginning. Let me know if you did! Oh, and I'm not even sure if DDR (any of them) actually have dances for the Hamster Dance or Aqua's song Lollipop. XD It would be great if they did.
Here's a picture of Mello's date dress. http:// cn1 .kaboodle .com /hi/img/2/0/0/de/9 /AAAAAi0eM5IAAAAAAN6cSA .jpg