A/N: Sparing you the details...
Send Me An Angel
Chapter Two: Getting Back
The sun stretched out across the land, warming it with a gentle glow. Two people slept soundly in the forest beneath it, while another watched it rise. The birds began to chirp in tune with the world waking up to greet the new day. Kakashi lay back in relaxation.
He had told Naruto and Sakura that he would wake them up at 5 a.m. but the idiots never realized that he didn't have a clock. Even so, he was positive that it was at least past 6. He stood up, stretching his muscles and popping his back. He was exhausted. He had fought all day yesterday and didn't even get a minute of sleep last night.
He blames himself for that though. He offered to stay on guard duty all night so he rightfully took the fault. When he got home he was taking two days off and the first thing he was going to do was a take a three hour bath. Steaming hot and soothing his aching body. He sighed, knowing that his dream would have to wait because first he had to wake up his teammates and thenmake the travel back to Konoha.
His day already seemed too long and the sun had only just risen.
Hopping down to the earth that rested below him, as he had been sitting in a tree most of the night, he started walking over to his pink haired former student. He vaguely noticed that he had forgotten he gave her his shirt sometime last night when he was trying to read his perverted book in the moonlight. It proved to be a wasted effort so he had used the fire's light instead.
He looked down at her cuddled in his dark shirt, her short hair sprayed out in all directions, and her long eyelashes softly fluttering. She was waking up, but she had looked so peaceful.
"Good morning Sakura," Kakashi greeted with a smile, only to be tuned out when she sat up and turned her head towards Naruto, his snoring blocking out the world.
Sakura hated mornings, and her teammates had learned that quite early. Kakashi was always the one who was stuck waking her up because the other two refused. Naruto out of fear and Sasuke out of not wanting her to think of it as something more, but Kakashi figured that was just fear too.
Over time she had become overly accustomed to his soft words of waking, and ended up awake before he had the chance to speak. She groaned loudly into her hands, which were still covered in her Sensei's shirt. Her head snapped back in her realization and she quickly began to take it off.
Kakashi looked surprised, and stopped her by laying his hand on her arm with a warm chuckle. "Sakura it's alright. I don't mind."
She pushed the fabric just low enough to uncover her eyes and stayed in something of a pause, causing Kakashi to laugh at her repeated hesitation. "It's still cold out here anyway," he reasoned.
She pulled the shirt all the way back down to pool at her hips. With a light blush on her cheeks she thanked him, standing up to do her regular routine in the 'get your ass up' order. Whoever was up would wake up Kakashi, if he wasn't already awake. He'd wake up Sakura, and then force her to wake up Naruto. When Sasuke was with them he'd usually wake up sometime during the loud routine.
The one time Kakashi had tried waking up the young blond he had gotten so annoyed at Naruto's dead sleep that he had kicked the boy in his ribs. Naruto had been walking with a limp the rest of the way back to the village that morning. No one had ever figured out if it was because Kakashi had accidentally kicked Naruto in his hip instead of his ribs or if that was just Naruto's way of showing his pain.
She crouched down beside her hyperactive knucklehead and softly tapped his cheek. Naruto stirred but remained asleep.
"C'mon idiot, we gotta get moving."
He didn't even flinch.
"I'll call Kakashi," she threatened and watched him spring up like she had sat a ghost after him. It was really too easy.
Naruto yawned with exaggeration, but that was his way of doing things. Sakura's half hearted threat meant nothing to him, as he was far to used to it to care any more. He plopped back down, letting the fall alone pop his joints and stretch his muscles. Turning his eyes back to Sakura he noticed something different.
"Is that a new dress?" he asked sleepily.
Sakura smiled, understanding why he'd think such a thing. After all, Kakashi's shirt covered her from her neck to just above her knees. It hid her outfit beneath it, leaving only her shin guards and shoes visible.
She shook her head. "No, silly, it's Kakashi-sensei's shirt."
He sprung up again and she couldn't help but giggle. Messing with Naruto was always fun, and she could tell that Kakashi was finally walking towards the two, his lazy expression in place.
"Kakashi…-sensei's…what?" he asked staring at her and observing every detail of the shirt. Sure enough, when he saw Kakashi missing a large part of his clothing, Naruto was convinced.
"Why are you wearing Kakashi-sensei's shirt?" he screamed in horror, obviously getting the wrong idea. Sakura laughed again and she could hear Kakashi's deep chuckle come from behind her, getting louder as he approached them.
Naruto's eyes narrowed. "You pervert!" he yelled with blind fury.
Kakashi let himself fall to the ground, his legs half crossed and half stretched as Naruto's punch flew threw his wild locks.
"It's not what you think," he tried to explain but the amusement in his voice and his poor choice of words only served to further encourage Naruto's rampage.
"Sensei let me hold it last night because it was cold," Sakura said in defense before her best friend could start anything with their former teacher, even though he'd probably lose.
Naruto stopped. "Because it was cold?"
She nodded. "Yeah, you didn't notice because you have that jacket on."
"Oh," he said. He looked sideways at Sakura, and then back to Kakashi. Scratching the back of his head he laughed nervously. "No hard feelings right?" he asked Kakashi.
Kakashi stood up and shrugged, walking around the goofball to finish up his job of hiding their evidence of camp, hence the fire's ashes. As he expertly kicked the last of the needed soil on top he turned back around and brushed his hands together to clean off the dirt. "Maybe," he answered late with an outward tone of sarcasm.
He grabbed his vest from the low branch he had hung it on the night prior and slid it on with ease. He left it unzipped callously and began to walk. "Let's go," he called behind him. He really did want to get home soon.
It had been hours since they had started their journey back to the village and the heat was increasing by the moment. Kakashi was walking, not jumping through the trees, but walking. It only added on to the heat after lugging behind him for five hours. Sakura slipped out of the dark shirt, Naruto following suit with his jacket soon afterwards.
She jogged ahead to catch up with Kakashi, who was walking at a faster pace than his students' cared for. She held out the shirt with a quiet, "Here."
Kakashi laughed at her. "I don't want that." It was hot outside and if he had been wearing it in the first place then it would never come off, but with it already being off what was the point of putting it on?
She narrowed her bright green eyes. "Well I don't either." Sakura hated the heat as much as she hated the cold. That's why she loved autumn, it wasn't too hot and it wasn't too cold.
Kakashi shrugged, something he had been doing quite often lately. "Well then just tie it around your waist."
Sakura looked insulted and wary. "No way in hell you perv!"
She had obviously taken the wrong idea. Why were his students so dirty minded? He only found another reason to blame himself that morning in realizing that reading porn in front of them when they were children would no doubt have some sort of effect.
Or maybe they just thought him to be dirty. Now that was insulting.
"Sakura it's the easiest way to hold onto it without getting hot," he explained, but from the look she gave him he could tell that she wanted him to do it instead. "And I am not gonna wear it like that. It's a woman's style."
Sakura stuck her nose in the air in defiance, but her hands each grabbed one of the long sleeves, wrapping it around her hips and tying it securely in the front. "Fine," she said harshly, but in a way that only Sakura could pull off.
The shirt was still rather long and covered her lower half like a skirt. It wasn't an unpleasant sight, Kakashi decided, but it was quite humorous. Sakura's hips swayed and the shirt held no reluctance to follow.
Naruto ran up and put a hand on Kakashi's shoulder, peeking over his tall sensei to stare at Sakura's butt. Kakashi looked back and forth between the two, something finally clicking in his supposedly genius mind, and shot Naruto a warning glance. It was more of a man's warning that he was about to get caught with that oncoming nose bleed that seemed inevitable. But it was also meant to warn Naruto to stop it.
Kakashi may be seen as a pervert, and perhaps he was, but he refused to act like that in front of a woman. It was disrespectful and the only one who he could tolerate doing that would be the Number One Perverted Toad Hermit himself. And even Jiraiya had his limits on what he could do. Looking was fine, but that was only with Jiraiya.
Naruto had not taken notice of Kakashi's hidden expression, not that the copy nin fully expected him to anyway, so he tripped forward when he felt a hard slap hit him in the back of his head.
"What was that for?" he asked with idiotic tears at the corners of his eyes. Kakashi had often wondered how Naruto could survive a fight with Gaara and not cry, but get hit upside his head by his teacher and have tears form immediately.
Sakura stopped and turned around to stare at the two. It wasn't a rare sight to see, but it was always amusing to find out why Kakashi had hit Naruto.
"You know why," Kakashi answered vaguely the blond. Naruto looked annoyed as Kakashi started walking again. But he was grateful that his old mentor was still protecting him by not blurting out what he had been doing in front of Sakura. That was sure to get him a chakra filled hook to his right cheek.
"Yeah but you didn't have to hit me so hard," he whined. Naruto rubbed his head and everyone continued walking. It was quiet and nice; there wasn't any unwanted tension between the three, even after what had happened.
Even after they had killed all those people, everything still seemed normal this morning. Sakura looked down, being reminded of last night was depressing for her. It was like a bad dream that haunted you constantly in the back of your mind, just waiting to come to the fore front and break you down as it had done before.
Sakura saw those blurred flashbacks again. She resisted her body's natural tremble and instead grabbed the sleeve of Kakashi's shirt. Walking in front of everyone else no one noticed her tight grip on the fabric, and she was grateful for it because the shirt calmed her, and she knew why.
Her heart begged to believe in Kakashi again. She had always trusted him, and stopping hurt her in a way she couldn't explain. It was like losing faith in Naruto or Ino. They were her best friends and she would do anything for them, even if they could be annoying at times. But Kakashi managed to fit into her group of important people without even trying. He wasn't a close friend or even a distant relative, but he was still family.
Losing him was not an option. It was not something she could handle and she knew that. His shirt felt like a link that held her to him, as simple minded as it sounds. It wasn't alive and it wasn't an evil object or a weapon or a scroll or anything that had to do with fighting. It was a shirt, plain and unique at the same time. It was just like all the other shirts in his closet, or anyone else's for the matter, but it was different. It was special.
It had survived the slaughtering of man with her in a night of trauma, but it had belonged to another. It had belonged to Kakashi, the man who led them through that nightmare. She didn't want to give the shirt back to him; it symbolized her waking into the dark world of the elite shinobi. But she didn't know how to explain that to him without making it sound weird.
So for now she would just enjoy the comfort that it brought her, covered in blood and sweat and mud and all. It belonged to her…in a way.
Kakashi and Sakura both let out a sigh of relief when the sight of their village gates appeared in front of them. Naruto jumped with excitement. It seemed he was happy to be home as well.
Sakura let her head fall. Now was the best time to return it, before everyone in the village saw her with her teacher's shirt wrapped around her hips. But she untied the knot of the sleeves slowly and with a measure of reluctance. She had resisted putting it on and now she found herself not wanting to take it off.
Kakashi stared at her. She had finally loosened the knot enough to slip it from her body. Her small hands held it close for a moment before holding it out to him. All he did was smile at her with his one visible eye. It was happy and cheerful, but she could also see pride building in the depths of his ink black eye.
"You keep it," he offered, "as a souvenir of your first mission."
Her face lit up in surprise, she had not been expecting him to give it to her. She smiled, both in happiness and gratefulness. At least now she wouldn't have to ask him.
"Besides," he started, "I'd hate to have to wash it."
She looked at him in question, and then her gaze slid back to the shirt still in her hands. It was stained in blood, but that's what made it a souvenir right? She giggled with joy, Kakashi lame attempts at a joke always made him look like an idiot and they always ended up laughing anyway.
"Thank you," she said sincerely. "Weird gift, but I like it."
"Well that's good," he chuckled.
She folded the large shirt in her arms; it made it a little less obvious that it was Kakashi's. But the fact that her sensei wasn't wearing a shirt might turn a few heads toward the fabric in her arms anyway. Her inner voice screamed that it didn't matter. She didn't care. That shirt belonged to her and that was that. Let those old wrinkled women think what they want to.
The massive gates neared them and she could make out Izumo and Kotetsu waiting on the other side. They were always at the gate or running errands for Tsunade. She had gotten to know them quite well because she was often helping them with those errands.
"Welcome back," Kotetsu greeted. He seemed to be in a particularly good mood today. "What happened to your shirt Captain?"
Most of the people who hung around Anbu, and those in it, frequently referred to Kakashi as Captain. Sakura figured that it was just because he had served in the organization for over a decade, and had earned quite a measure of respect while there.
Kakashi scratched the back of his head calmly. "It got ripped up pretty badly in the fight so I threw it away."
Sakura held back a sigh of relief, it looked like Naruto wasn't the only one Kakashi had decided to protect that morning. But he had two lies in that sentence. One, he hadn't gotten a single tear in his shirt. And two, he hadn't thrown it away. He had given it to her. But did it seem like the same thing to him?
Izumo laughed. "That's just like you."
"Hey do you know if the hot springs are cleared?" Kakashi asked in interest. Maybe, if he was lucky, he could have that three hour bath in the large steaming spring.
"Last time I checked it was empty," Kotetsu answered for him. "I still don't get why you care though. It's not like you're shy."
"I just prefer bathing alone." Kakashi smiled.
Sakura cocked her head to one side. She had just discovered one more clue that made up Kakashi. No wonder the three of them had only gotten him to a hot spring once.
Kakashi turned back around to face his former students, he waved two fingers at them accompanied with a hurried, "See ya." A small puff of smoke singled his disappearance.
Sakura turned back to her friends in Tsunade's manual labor and asked, "Is he always like that when he gets back from a mission?"
The shrugged simultaneously and both answered, "Yeah."
She glanced over her shoulder to see Naruto running off yelling a friendly good bye to her. She sighed. "That's weird."
"What, Naruto's scream or Kakashi's habit?" Kotetsu asked in sarcasm.
"Both."
They laughed. It was good to be back. She didn't feel as bad as she had the night before, now she was able to see what she had been killing to protect. Konoha was her everything. It was her home, it was her pride, it was her life.
Kakashi appeared in his plain comforting living room. It was bland and didn't have much of a design, it was simple. But that was ok with him, he was a simple man. It was warm but better than the heat of the forest. Slipping off his bloodied vest he dropped it on his floor while walking to his bedroom door. He opened it and went inside, noticing the closed window curtains.
He pulled his undershirt up, sliding it gracefully over his head and proceeded to toss it out the open door to fall onto his vest, creating a pile.
He sighed with relief. The fresh air meeting his uncovered skin helped to relax and sooth him, even if it was only a little. He turned his wooden desk chair around and sat in it comfortably; crossing one leg over the other he took off his shoe. He unwrapped his leg bindings slowly; he wasn't in a rush for anything right now. Switching his legs he repeated the process.
Once done he leaned back in his chair and looked up at the ceiling. It was the same thing every time he came back from a slaughtering mission. He would be caked in dirt and blood and the dried sweat added on top of that would no doubt only make him smell worse. He looked over to the calendar hung up near his headboard and noticed that it was getting awfully close to another birthday. He'd be thirty-one soon.
If that wasn't depressing then he didn't know what was.
He had always been the young protégé, the boy genius. Now he was a man, and an aging one at that. When he hit thirty he thought that it would end there. He'd probably die soon anyway. He had far outlived his time. Or he'd get old and lose his skill, his body would become slow and pain him, he'd start to forget things, and those flaws were what were cause him to die.
It often felt like he was older than he actually was. Like he had lived longer than Tsunade, but his body was still the age of Naruto. It never made sense to him. He had asked Tsunade to explain it; he had asked nurses to explain, hell he'd even asked Jiraiya once. The only answer he ever got was that his body was younger than he was, like it was aging slower. It just made him look like an idiot because his mind couldn't comprehend it.
He figured that it didn't matter anyway. As long as he's doing his job and doing it well then no one is going to complain. It would be annoying if they did. Wait what does that have to do with body aging, mind-not-understanding headaches?
He shook his head, getting up from the chair and unbuttoning his pants. They slid down his legs with a half assed energized push. He couldn't care less how they got off, as long as they were off.
Standing in nothing but his dark red boxers he began to wonder why he had picked red. He usually wore blue or black or sometimes a forest green. Why red? Red was a color that stood out, that caught attention, and that most people were drawn to look at because of the depth of the shades. If the color was black then there wasn't anything to look at.
He walked into the bathroom and proceeded in his home returning routine. He'd always change clothes, shave, wash out his hair, brush his teeth, and then wait until 11:30 to go to the hot springs and soak until he felt like passing out from the heat. It helped him forget what was unforgettable, or helped him take his mind off his killings.
He had once been affected by murdering men so ruthlessly in much similarity as Naruto and Sakura. He had devised this routine, this order, to help him get it out of his system. If you let something build up inside you then it has a greater chance of causing harm when it comes out. He decided to cancel that demon before it could be created.
By setting up this act he could effectively do just that.
He looked up into the mirror listening to the water still running, a steady rhythm to his hears full of screams, and studied the droopiness of his eyes. He rarely did this because he had lost interest long ago, but on the undecided occasions where he did, he always came to the conclusion that he liked it. If his eyes were to stay completely open then. . . well he just didn't want it to. He had often been told that they were open more and held an sharpness to them when he fought. But other than that he looked lazy and tired.
He didn't mind one bit. It looked better on his face when they were droopy. He had always laughed at that fact because most people didn't see his face, so they didn't know.
There was a lot about him people didn't know, and he preferred it that way.
It was easier.
Sakura let herself fall unceremoniously onto her soft mattress, the pale pink sheets bouncing with her. After a quick hot shower she felt refreshed but tired. Even though she had slept soundly she still only had four hours of sleep. They had gone to bed unreasonably late last night. But that was understandable, after what they had to do of course.
She breathed deeply, releasing the burden of her memories with the hot breath. It was relaxing and she was excited to be home. They had been gone for several days, hunting and planning before assassinating.
Maybe that was the worst part, the planning. She had sat with her team and thought up the best way to quickly kill over a hundred men.
It hurt badly, the guilt she had felt sitting there doing that; the unbearable weight that had pushed her down and forced tears to her eyes a few hours afterwards during that night. It was unforgivable what she had done, but she knew that the people who trained her to do it had experienced it far too many times to care. Or at least that's what she thought.
She sat up and looked around her room. The window was open and the smell of nature and dust filled her nostrils. As pleasant as it was she had plans that afternoon that she had to prepare for. It was her and Ino's get together after missions. Tenten would come if she could, but Sakura figured that she might be busy with a date.
Neji had asked her out over a month ago, and Tenten readily agreed. They made a cute couple and everyone was so happy to see that they had finally gotten together. Most of Tenten's close friends had always talked about her affections for the pearly-eyed Hyuga, and had encouraged her to give the guy a hint or something! In the end Tenten had agreed to go on a date with some dark haired chunin who had been taken with her natural feel and deep brown eyes.
Neji hadn't been too happy about it.
That was Sakura's first clue that Neji had feelings for Tenten, but it became quite obvious when Neji almost beat the hell out of the boy for trying to kiss her after the date. He had been causally walking by and just happened to see. They were all very grateful for it, and a week later the two started going out. Neji made sure everyone knew she was his.
It was so romantic! And Sakura couldn't help but feel jealous. Her love had run off years ago. Four years ago to be exact. Sasuke had left her crying on a bench while he ran off to join a psychotic nutcase who wanted to take over his body. She had wanted him back so badly, but now she couldn't forgive him. Dreams of being the next had flown out the window after her training with Tsunade.
She wasn't weak.
She wasn't needy.
And she wasn't an idiot.
If he had wanted her then he had lost his chance. She wouldn't accept him now anyway. It had pained her to notice these changes at first, but now it only empowered her further. She wouldn't allow it. She couldn't hand her heart to him on a silver platter anymore.
She couldn't take that pain.
But she knew that all of that was untrue. She still loved him more than she should.
She jumped up off the bed and started to her closet, scenes of her last encounter with her sharingan wielding teammate running through her mind. How could he attack them? How could he attack their leader? How could he be so cold?
Kakashi hadn't been there, but Sasuke had asked about him. Sakura had always figured that her crush and her sensei were closer than she and her teacher. Kakashi had always been picky about the way he taught, and he wouldn't accept less than he expected. If he believed that you could do better, then by damn you would do better.
She shuffled through her closet, finding a red T-shirt that she had grown quite fond of. It was plain, but comfortable. She slid it over her head, pulling it down across her sports bra before allowing it to dangle at her waist. Next she walked over to her large wooden dresser. Splattered across it were pictures and cards, money and books, pencils and pens, along with jewelry that she rarely wore.
Opening the second drawer she found what she was looking for on top, a pair of black shorts. It was her regular outfit when she wasn't working at the hospital or going on a mission. She still wore her weapon pouch and kunai holster but that because she was so used to them. And what would it hurt, being prepared for another attack on Konoha?
Strolling down the dusty streets of Konoha Sakura's mind was set in reverse. She started thinking about everything that had happened in such a difference light. It wasn't as painful as it had been, but it still hurt. Was this how Kakashi felt? And Naruto…
She was almost obsessed with finding out if he was alright. Naruto was so pure and good natured. He enjoyed life so much. . .would he be able to survive taking it away from another? She shut her eyes to the thought. If Naruto wanted to be Hokage then he would have to suck it up because those missions are the ones that the Hokage assigns. Maybe they aren't the ones who carry it out but they share just as much fault.
She stopped and no one noticed. People just walked around her, like everything she had gone through didn't exist. If she hadn't did what she had, if she hadn't killed, then her mission would have had a much larger impact on these people. They would have been tormented and hurt; they might have had to endure a war. And although Sakura didn't know the men and women and children walking around her she knew that she wanted to protect them, even if she had to sacrifice her humanity to do so.
That's what Kakashi felt, and she knew this was the truth.
Now to go check on Naruto, and then she'd have to meet Ino at the training grounds, stupid Pig.
Sakura found herself wishing she had worn something with pockets more than she had ever wished for such a thing in her life. Naruto was depressed. Naruto was never depressed. It was sad and it tormented her heart every second of every minute since she saw him. Even the ramen had done little to help, despite his happy goodbye.
In fact it had been at Ichiraku's that she had found him, his food half eaten and his head cast downwards. She had lunch with him and talked for a while but none of it helped. It didn't change anything. At this point she was beginning to believe that very few people would be able to change the intensity of his suffering in even the slightest way.
Perhaps Jiraiya could have cheered him up with ease, but the sage remained dead, his grave forever lost to an outside world that they had never found.
Maybe Tsunade could help. She probably couldn't have done much even if she had been sober. Naruto hardly listened to her anyway.
If they were lucky then Kakashi could help. Sakura doubted that he could do much more than he had already done. Maybe a group gathering of the Konoha 11 would work.
She was tearing herself up over this and she knew it. She had better start thinking straight because Ino was more than likely going to try and pull details of the mission from her. This mission was classified, but the blond didn't care, she never cared.
Speaking of which, Ino was waiting.
Ino was rightfully standing on the thin strip that barely passed as a dirt road on the way to her and Sakura's best friend's hideout. A field of flowers really, that's all it was. It was no hideout, anyone could come by if they wanted, with or without the girls' consent. That was something that bothered Ino to no end.
Sakura passed by their first meeting choice, a large tree with roots that stuck up out of the ground which made perfect makeshift seats. From that she could guess that Ino had chosen their second choice, her choice really. Sakura preferred a root to sit on than dirt. She could never understand why Ino liked that place, which was why Sakura had personally carried a rock there for her to use as a seat.
Surely enough Ino was there, her long hair flowing in a waterfall of light yellow from her ponytail. Sakura would never admit it, but Ino was beautiful. She looked up when she sensed Sakura's chakra, her eyes glowing with excitment.
"So how did it go?" she greeted in her light voice.
"Not bad," Sakura answered taking a seat next to her, seeing as how Ino had decided to steal her rock.
"So it sucked?"
"Deffinately."
Ino laughed. "They always do."
"What always does?"
"Assination missions," she explained comfortably, "They always suck."
"I agree." Sakura sighed.
"So in this one...?"
It was a runoff question. A question that started with what it was about, what happened, and then trailed on to form other questions that never seemed to end.
"I can't tell you about this one."
"Aw, c'mon Sakura," Ino whined. "I've been stuck with lovestruck Shikamaru and Temari all week, give me a little something to go on here."
That caused a smile to form on Sakura's pink lips. Shikamaru and Temari had been together for months now, and from what she heard were even thinking about getting married later on. She was happy for them.
"Well I bet I can think of a few things that won't get me in trouble."
"Yay!" Ino cheered. She had never lost her enthusiasm, as much as Sakura disliked it at times. "So what was it about?"
Wasn't that question predictable?
"Building forces of runaways and get-rich-quick shinobi. Our job was to cut them down and destroy it before it had a chance to launch an attack."
"How did you even know there was going to be an attack?"
"There were spies in the group, feeding us information. So when we got there we started the fight before they had a chance to get ready. Kakashi-sensei did most of the killing. He got the leader too. Naruto and I couldn't stand it," she admitted quitely. "We were taking so many lives."
"I can understand where you're coming from." Ino put an arm over Sakura's shoulders to comfort her. "Our jobs aren't aways the easiest to do. Are you alright though? I mean, you'll get through this, right?"
That was weird. Ino never openly expressed worry like that, and she never doubted whether or not Sakura could get back on her feet. It was insulting, but also something that made her think. Did she really look that depressed when she thought about those mens' blood splattering and their flesh ripping?
"Yeah, I'll be fine."
Kakashi sat himself down into the steaming waters slowly. He sighed at the pleasure it did for his body, and the peace it gave his mind. The steam looked like a dense fog but he could tell that no one was there. Who would want a bath now anyways?
It was late, very late, and he knew that his three our soak would end up two hours short. He hadn't slept last night, which didn't help much, he was getting awfully comfortable, which only dulled his senses, and he was exhausted.
He leaned his head back on a smooth rock behind him, watching the water ripple as he moved. It was dreamlike to say the least. There wasn't any noise, and with the silence there came a tranquility that he could rarely obtain otherwise. The fog, or steam, managed to add to the surreal effect this regular moment always had on him.
He was freed of his father's suicide, he was freed of his best friends' deaths, and he was freed of his sensei's sacrifice; he was freed of his pain. Some times, like on anniversaries, he could feel that pressure in his chest build in to hard knots that had him choking if he spoke. He wouldn't allow tears to come. He refused to cry. He had cried enough in his life time.
He let himself slouch against his resting position, he had actually been yelled at about slouching too much by Tsunade only a few days prior; sometime around Sakura's promotion. Ah Sakura, was she alright?
He sighed, both her and Naruto and any other halfway sane person would be calling it in for tonight after that last mission. He seriously needed to reevaluate his mental condition.
"Somethin' got your attention?" asked a deep voice next to him.
He turned and finally took notice of Asuma standing on a large rock to his left. Asuma didn't have his usual cigarette, the smoke of which always alerted Kakashi to his presence, and was dropping his towel to sink into the water a respectable distance away from Kakashi. Being close buddies was fine. But being close buddies while naked in a hot spring was a whole other matter.
"Just thinking about the newbies," Kakashi sighed. "Didn't even notice you. I guess I'm a little too trusting huh?"
"Big time." Asuma laughed. "But about Naruto and Sakura, I wouldn't worry too much. They'll get over it in time. We all did."
Kakashi rested his arm on the side of the rock, running a wet hand through his untamable locks. "Yeah but we were different."
Asuma leaned back. "How?"
"We grew up in war Asuma. They grew up in peace. It makes a different world. Ours' already had bloodshed but theirs' had never seen it."
"You're too deep man," Asuma said dunking his head under the clear hot water. He pulled back up and let his dark bluish tinted hair fall back. "Besides, you're the only one who grew up in war."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Just that we were all still rookies by time you made it big. Going into battles like that at your age, no wonder you knew the war better than any of us."
"Tch, like that matters. War is war, no matter what part of it you take."
"You really need to chill Kakashi," Asuma said like a therapist to a patient. "Don't get too old too fast."
"I'm not old."
"Whatever." Asuma leaned back again watching his friend's offended expression. Kakashi really did look younger with his mask off, far too young to already be thirty. "Hey your birthday's coming up isn't it?"
"Yup, can't wait to hit twenty-four."
Asuma laughed. "Like you even care. Age doesn't matter to you remember, Mr. I'm-a-five-years-old-ninja?"
Kakashi absently started to drum his fingers. "What are you doing here anyway?"
Asuma looked mildly surprised. "Why do you want to know?"
"Maybe because it's almost 2 o'clock in the morning?" Kakashi answered with sarcasm dripping from his voice.
"Ah, about that - well I was - I had something to tell you."
It was Kakashi's turn to look surprised.
"Well what was it?"
"Um…well…"
"Damn it, just spit it out!"
"Kurenai's pregnant."
"Pregnant?"
Asuma nodded.
"Is it yours?"
He nodded again.
"That's great! And it's about time too."
Asuma stared at his friend like he had lost his mind. "What's wrong with you? You hate kids."
"Nah, I never hated kids. Besides if you two waited any longer you might not have been able to have them."
Asuma glared at his young-looking companion. "I'm your age! So is Kurenai!"
Kakashi shrugged. "Never said I wanted kids."
Asuma cooled down a little. Kakashi never meant half of what he said. Most of it was pure nonsense when he was talking to friends, well close friends. Friends were considered acquaintances at best. And what most people considered acquaintances were just people he knew but didn't care for.
But Kakashi's work did force him to operate with tons of different people everyday so it only made sense that he didn't care for most of them. There had probably been hundreds of them anyway.
"So what are you going to name it?" Kakashi asked starting to rekindle whatever conversation they had been having.
"Don't know yet. I just found out today."
"And you decided to search me down to tell me?"
Asuma let his head fall back against the wall. "The rest of the group knows. And I like talking to you better than Genma or Gai anyway."
"The rest of the group?" Kakashi asked but it was more or less a statement. Genma, Gai, Asuma, Kurenai, Anko, Raido, and Kakashi himself had formed this group a longtime ago. Kakashi and Asuma had always been friends, Genma just fit in. Genma and Kakashi had grown close over the years and everyone accepted Kurenai without hesitation. She was the one who kept everything together when the guys fought. Raido and Anko were younger and came a bit later. Gai was their group's freak.
"Yep."
"Well then why didn't you count Raido?"
"Raido's more of Genma's buddy than ours, you know that. And there's no way in hell I'm gonna talk to Anko. I'd rather cut out my own tongue."
"That's rather harsh."
"But so true." Asuma sat up. "So you gonna be a good uncle or what?"
"Uncle?" Kakashi almost laughed. "You've gotta be kidding."
Asuma sent Kakashi a look that meant business. "It would disappoint Kurenai if you weren't." In other words, do or die. Asuma wanted the gang to be good to his son or daughter, that went without saying, but did he have to say uncle?
"Yeah, yeah, you know I will."
"So when are you going to start settling down?"
Kakashi sat up. "I don't know, I'm not even sure if I want to. I mean I've never had a serious relationship in my life. Getting married and having kids is a little far fetched for my life style anyway."
"That 'life style' being constant life or death missions?"
"Exactly."
"Kakashi, my friend, you really are a complete idiot."
"Oh yeah?"
"Oh yeah."
Kakashi crossed his arms. "Care to enlighten me then?"
"You're a fool," Asuma chuckled. "Marriage isn't as bad as you think it is. And having kids is supposed to be great so if you do go for that 'life style' then you wouldn't want to put such a risk on your life."
"Supposed to be great? Asuma if I didn't know better I'd say that you're scared of having a kid."
Asuma paled a little, in that moment he was thankful for the heavy fog.
"Hmph, so I'm right."
"Are not."
"Are too.
"Are not."
"Asuma you now it's true. That's why you couldn't talk to Genma. He'd have half the village thinking you're a coward by morning. And this is too personal for Raido. Lord knows what would happen if you'd been stupid enough to tell Kurenai."
Asuma was silent.
"You didn't tell her did you?"
He was met with silence.
"Asuma?"
"Guess I'm the idiot huh?"
"Damn straight."
"Don't rub it in."
"How'd she take it?"
"How does a pregnant woman take it when her husband tells her that he's friggin' scared of having a baby?"
"Not good huh?"
"Not at all."
Kakashi splashed his face with water. "Give her some time to cool off. She'll get over it. If my mind has learned anything about women it's that it takes both time and good-news-honesty to make them happy again."
"Says the man who's never had a girlfriend."
Kakashi's lips turned downward into a deep frown. "Just tell her you thought it over and you think you're ready now. You want the baby just as much as she does and can't wait to have it, you get the idea."
Asuma looked impressed. "You're insulted, exhausted, pissed, and bathing and you can still give advice."
"Twenty years with you can do that to a person."
"Twenty-six years, Kakashi."
"I know."
Kakashi walked home around three in the morning, enjoying the cool night breeze that ruffled his still damp hair. If Tsunade even thought about sending someone to wake him up then he'd become ten times worse then anything Tsunade had ever seen. He was fucking tired. He had almost used up all of his chakra the night before killing all those men and he had barely gotten any sleep in the past four days.
He was going to sleep like a dead man.
Tsunade could come down herself and kick him if she wanted. He wasn't waking up. Not until he had at least seven undisturbed hours of silence in a dark room under warm blankets in a light T-shirt and his boxers.
Hell, he'd even flash her if it meant she'd leave.
He wanted to bang his head against his door for that train of thought as he opened it. He shed his clothes on his way to his room, leaving them on the floor where he dropped them as he walked. It didn't matter; he could pick them up tomorrow afternoon when he woke up.
He grabbed the white shirt sitting neatly folded on his desk and slid it over his body in a lazier than Shikamaru tug. He always left a white shirt out whenever he knew he would be tired when he came home. On the occasions where he didn't leave out the shirt he would just sleep in his boxers. It was Konoha anyway, it's not like he'd catch a cold and be forbidden from wearing his mask because of his runny nose.
He just let himself fall onto his mattress. It was large and bouncy and soft. He was out like a light three seconds later.
Kakashi slept until the sun reached the point in his windowblinds that shed the light directly onto his eyes, signaling noon.
Asuma had already gone over to Kurenai's, planning on using his best friend's advice that had saved him a broken neck dozens of times. She had started crying, but wrapped her arms around him in a warm broken embrace.
Asuma looked up to the sky, it was nearly noon. The idiot would be getting up soon.
Damn fool gives fucking good advice.
"Are you sure you want to take this one?" Tsunade questioned, only to be met with a confident nod. He could really be annoying sometimes.
"Kakashi you know what type this is," she warned with deep seriousness. "You only just got back, what's your rush?"
Kakashi put a hand on hip and sighed, "I've been back for three days. I'm getting bored."
"Hell of an explanation," she drawled out in sarcasm. Groaning she leaned back in her chair, listening for any creaks that could give her a reason to throw it at the masked man standing approximately five feet from her desk. She sighed. "Just give him the mission Shizune."
"Glad you see things my way," Kakashi cheered.
Tsunade looked at him with a frown and something between amusement and irritation in her eyes. "You really are a brat you know that?"
"Of course!"
"Just get out of my office."
Kakashi took the scroll in his right hand and tilted his head to the left. "What? No warnings or briefs? Is something wrong?"
She always told him something along the lines of 'Don't die', 'Try not to get your ass kicked', or 'Give me a real report this time.'
Tsunade rubbed her head.
"Hangover."
"Ah."
Sakura arrived a little later than usually, well actually she always had perfect timing and was never late, but her alarm clock had decided to break sometime during the night. Sakura was one of the unlucky people who always slept in as late as she could when she got the chance. Tsunade was going to kill her no doubt, but if she was lucky her mentor would be asleep right now and wouldn't notice.
Sakura pushed open the door with her back, attempting to carry five very thick books and both her and Naruto's mission report. As far as she knew Kakashi had already turned his in. She glanced at the clock hanging above the check in desk. 12:30 p.m.
She was so dead. And she might even have to sit through a lecture about how her former sensei, Hatake Kakashi, had rubbed off his worst habit on her. It would be annoying and embarrassing. If he ever found out then he would never let her live it down. Not to mention Naruto.
"You're late," was the happy response to her inner thoughts. She looked up in dread, but only found herself thoroughly disappointed when she saw a green vest, a mask, a slanted hiate, and a head full of fluffy white hair. Or she guessed it was fluffy.
"Shut up," she grunted behind the strangely multicolored stack in her hands. "You're early, well for you anyway. Did something happen?"
He could detect honest worry in her voice but chose to ignore it. Why did something horrible have to happen for him to be early?
"I wanted a mission," he answered dryly. Apparently he wasn't too happy with her assuming such drastic measures had to be taken for him to get up out of bed.
"Mission? Didn't we just get back?"
"Yes, three days ago."
Sakura sighed and began walking slowly; this short conversation was no probably about to end since it was with Kakashi, the guy who only ever talks to annoy you or scold you.
"Hey Sakura," he called lightly for her to turn back around. "You should head in from the back, that way she won't know you were late."
She looked at him almost dumbfounded. "You know how to make it seem like you weren't late?"
He shrugged. "Gotta learn a few things in your youth."
She chuckled. "Thanks Sensei."
The light tap of a pen falling on a desk broke silence in Sakura's solitary room. She rubbed her hand, trying to help ease the pain from her cramp. She had been given a ton of documents that needed to be looked through, approved, and sent to Tsunade for final signatures. It was the Hokage's way of skipping work, and it was Sakura's punishment.
Her punishment for being late.
She had snuck through the back, perfect timing, perfect stealth, perfect knowledge of what she was doing, but she had lacked one thing.
And that was originality.
Tsunade hadn't gone through her usual thirty minute lecture, but she had given Sakura something close to advice.
"When Kakashi tries telling you how to get away with being late, don't listen to him. Who did you think had to catch him when he was your age, huh?"
Damn teacher always getting her in more trouble than he's worth. She was willing to bet that Tsunade hadn't been able to make him sit down and do paper work, especially not if he were her age.
Her age…?
What was Kakashi like when he was her age?
Was he the same as he is now? Was he different? Did he still read porn? Did he still say something heroic sounding before and after he fought? Was he wild? Was he uncontrollable? Or was he the guy who everybody loved and thought was so sweet?
Sakura shook her head. Kakashi being sweet is believable but the 'everybody loved' part was pushing it. Kakashi had a lot of enemies, he probably still did back then, and he wasn't exactly the easiest to get along with at times. But then once you were shaking with fury he'd shrug, say something stupid, make you look stupid, and then proceed to walk off like nothing had ever happened.
Sakura flexed her hand, undoing the knots that had built up over the hours. The only people who even seemed to know Kakashi were those who he grew up with. Very close friends were the only ones he really looked normal with. Easygoing and playful even.
Sakura laid her head on her arms and shut her eyes. She tried to picture a younger Kakashi, one that was seventeen and fun. What she saw was a kid about Naruto's height with his hair down and swaying, wearing an Anbu outfit, one hand in his pocket, the other rubbing his shoulder, and his eyes looking bored.
He didn't seem all that different.
She heard herself groan and felt the rumble in her throat as it came out, loud and complaining. She was locked in this room; not sitting in here but locked in here. Tsunade meant it when she said punishment. Sakura had been left with nothing but files for nearly six hours and now that she was done all she had left was her imagination and a strengthening grudge against her former sensei.
Letting her forehead rest against the cool, hard surface of the desk she tried to picture seventeen year old Kakashi again. It wasn't very entertaining. Everything seemed just like it was now, except for the outfit and height. He did look younger but his hair made him seem just that much older.
She always felt the feeling of laughter tickle her stomach when she thought of what it must have been like growing up with silver hair that was constantly mistaken for grey. Being seventeen and being called thirty would have her ready to throw punches in a matter of seconds, and she knew that. Maybe that was how Kakashi had learned such amazing self control.
Sakura imagined him sitting on a gate, letting time fly by as he waited to be late just to spite his teammates, his left hand holding a bright orange book firmly as he right was flipping the page. This was the Kakashi she could see as her lazy future teacher.
She turned her head and tried imagining a different Kakashi. He was cold and dark with a merciless hardness set in his gaze. His eyes looked like black depths of frozen wastelands, ruthless and almost sad. His stance was upright and tight. He was tense with a look of alertness that just seemed to fit. He was strong, everything about him screamed that, and yet he looked afraid. It was like he didn't want something to happen, but Sakura couldn't figure out what. It was just a vision anyway, it wasn't real.
A smile graced her lips and she stared off into the blackness. With her eyes closed everything she could think of felt just that much more real. She sighed as another picture began to draw itself. She wasn't sure why it had begun, or what had started it, but she found that silent and lazy, and cold and dark were only two possibilities. She needed more.
He didn't have his book in this one either; probably because he wasn't old enough. He was still in an Anbu suit and he still had his slouch, but he was with Genma and Asuma. Sakura remembered seeing an old photo of Asuma that Konohamaru had shown her when she had helped him clean up his grandfather's things after he died. Asuma didn't have his beard, but he still had his cigarette. Genma just seemed younger. His hair was a little longer and a little brighter.
Kakashi was grinning; even though he had his mask on she could tell. It showed in his eyes. Genma's arm was thrown over Kakashi's shoulders and they looked like they had been tipped over, like the world had decided to play tricks on the earth they walked on.
Asuma was off laughing to the side, Kurenai was walking up in the background. Sakura tried to hear their laughs and jokes and playful jibes but couldn't break the silence that filled the room. She opened her eyes, casting away the curious break of thinking what it could've been like.
She stared at the blank wall. From what she knew about him Kakashi might have fit any one of those descriptions when he was younger. From what she didn't know about him, from what remained a mystery, he could've been all three.
He could've been cold and dark. He could've teasing and quiet. He could've been joyful and loved, right in the middle of everything. She dragged her head up from her resting position, letting it hang as she did. Lifting it up she tiredly let her eyes travel over the box holding all of her work.
She blinked at the irony of the name signed off on the bottom of one of the visible papers. Hatake Kakashi did plenty of missions so it wasn't a surprise to find his name on missions that hadn't even hit the pick up desk yet. A quick flash of Asuma and Genma and Kakashi as those young teenagers crossed quickly through her mind.
She decided that he did have a place where everything made sense. Genma and Asuma were close to Kakashi, no one had bothered to try and hide that. Kakashi was a member of that group, whether he was the leader or a follower didn't matter. He fit there and that's what made it work.
Sakura almost wanted to laugh at that too. She fit with Ino and Tenten and Hinata, and Temari when she came. They didn't have a leader. She could say with all certainty of her being that Kakashi's group didn't have a leader either. Sometimes one might have been needed, like on missions or during fights, but he could step up and take that playing field with ease.
Sakura tipped her head up a littler higher, trying to refocus her eyes to see what time it was. 7:38 p.m.
Oh Kakashi was going to pay.
"Done yet?" asked a kind voice coming from the edge of the doorway. Sakura nearly jumped out of her skin in surprise. She hoped she hadn't been caught sleeping.
"Yes, I've been done for quite some time actually." Sakura smiled. "Do you think I could sneak out now?"
The woman's dark eyes softened ever so slightly as she walked up to pick up Sakura's box of files. "Sorry Sakura, but Tsunade-sama would like to see you. It sounded important."
Sakura nodded in defeat. "Yeah I guess you're right. I'll go see her. Thanks Shizune."
"No problem, but try not to mention too much. She's hunting down information that doesn't exist again."
"Right." Sakura stood up. Catching herself from falling by quickly grabbing the side of the desk, she stood there for a moment. Unfortunately her legs had fallen asleep sometime during her nap. She took a deep breath and pushed herself forward.
Walking down the hall she vaguely wondered what Tsunade could want to talk to her about. She had done her work dutifully and without complaint. She had sat through hours of mind blowing boredom and she had written and read over 345 files. She was tired and exhausted and didn't need to hear anymore of Tsunade's bitching.
"Tsunade-shishou," Sakura called as she opened the door. "I'm here."
Tsunade looked up, her blond hair falling back into place to perfectly frame her equal features. "Oh Sakura, it's you. I have something for you."
She tossed Sakura a green scroll. Catching it Sakura looked back up to her mentor, but Tsunade granted her permission without thought.
Sakura opened the scroll and read:
Hatake Kakashi
Mission: Assassinate building rival forces
Completed without flaw. Naruto and Sakura showed real strength, but I'm a bit worried about them. They aren't used to killing like this Tsunade. Lay off for a while and give them some time to breathe.
"Its way more than what he usually writes," Tsunade mumbled to herself. Despite all of Kakashi's intellect and training he refused to write more than necessary. And necessary to him meant injury, completion, and whether or not he was caught.
Sakura looked up. "So why did you want to talk to me about this?"
Tsunade's eyes lit up with a sort of dawning realization. "Oh," escaped her mouth in a hushed whisper. "That's right."
Sakura felt the need to bang her head against the wall. "So?" she pushed.
Tsunade coughed into her hand. "Well Kakashi demanded a mission, as I'm sure you know, and I was wondering if this had something to do with it."
Sakura's confused face alerted Tsunade to her dilemma.
"He usually takes four or five days off after a mission like this. Kakashi rarely says he's worried. And he never tells me how I should handle my subordinates."
Sakura let out a strangled groan of frustration that sounded oddly like a whimpering dog. "What are you asking Tsunade-shishou?"
Tsunade looked down. She spread her fingers out across her desk. What was she asking? Well that was a stupid question. And after Sakura had been her student for so long. Tsunade shook her head, her silky locks swaying with the movement.
"Sorry Sakura. I always do this when something weird happens with Kakashi. Its habit, I didn't mean to drag you into it. But the reason you didn't know is because you don't regularly go on missions with Kakashi."
"Habit?" Sakura questioned like she had never heard the word. Tsunade had a ton of negative habits and a handful of positive ones that Sakura admired beyond all reasoning. But a habit about Kakashi-sensei? "What kind of habit?"
Tsunade glanced through the wide gleaming window behind her, "I just check up on him is all. Sometimes you find people who need to be looked after, and you have to make sure they're alright."
Sakura sat the scroll on Tsunade's large wooden desk, one that had survived her teacher's wrath successfully for almost three months. "To make sure he's alright?"
Tsunade lifted her head. She immediately regretted her terribly bad choice of words. "Not so much as to make sure he's alright as to whether or not he's in working condition."
Something told Sakura that her gambling alcoholic leader was cleverly sidestepping a proper explanation. Most people did that when it came to Kakashi. It was incredibly annoying but Sakura had learned a long time ago to respect Kakashi's privacy.
"Right, so you want to know if I think he's alright?"
Tsunade rested her head in palm, her elbow angled on the edge of her desk. She was worried about Kakashi, and she decided not to try and hide that. Kakashi was important to her not only because he was a valuable shinobi, but also because she had helped raise him. Watching a child grow up from the day they're born until they're present-day 30 tends to give you some sort of attachment.
"Exactly," she finally sighed. Turning her honey colored gaze to the side she frowned. "I shouldn't be asking you this. You don't even know."
If Sakura had been younger then she would have been thrown in fits of rage at that last remark. Luckily she had cooled down, especially around her teacher. But sometimes Sakura's old temper rises in moments of confusion and anger and pain. Right now her confusion was born into frustration.
"Well then why don't you tell me?" Her sharp words sliced through the air. She might have been able to admit her surprise of Tsunade's reaction had she not been tired, worn, mad, and unbelievably stubborn to reason.
"Because you're not meant to know," Tsunade said with an icy tone that sent chills up Sakura's spine. Even though Tsunade didn't yell, her words still held a venomous effect. It could have been hurt that silenced Sakura, or it could have been fear.
A few moments passed but Sakura remained quiet and pained. She spoke in a quiet whimper. "Why?"
Tsunade brought her attention back to Sakura. There had never been any anger in what she said but Sakura had never liked Tsunade yelling at her. Tsunade leaned back in her chair, something very similar to what she had done earlier today, only this time she wasn't searching for something to injure her guest with.
"What do mean, Sakura?"
Sakura's eyebrows knitted together in concentration and her frustration quickly turned to pain at not being able to understand. "Why can't I know?"
Now a situation like this rarely ever happened for Sakura. Tsunade had always been completely truthful with her; Tsunade had always been harshly blunt simply by nature. But a moment, a confrontation, where violent emotion and awkwardness slipped through did not often occur. There was never anything to hide.
"Sakura," Tsunade spoke her name softly, slowly. "You know that some information is very classified? That it shouldn't ever be discussed with ease?"
Sakura nodded reluctantly. She already knew what this meant.
"Sakura the events in Kakashi's life that make me do this are that classified. It isn't something I can tell you without precaution and care. And there's no way I can tell you without someone finding out."
Sakura let that sink in. It wasn't hard to accept. Kakashi had many secrets, and this only told Sakura that some of them just weren't worth the cost of finding out.
"Of course Tsunade-shishou," Sakura agreed. "I'll be going home now."
She turned to leave, to go home and sleep off all the frustrations of the day, but she was stopped by Tsunade's voice.
"You never answered. Is he alright?"
Sakura tilted her head down slightly. "Perfectly fine."
Sakura rolled over for the umpteenth time that night. This had to be some form of torture. It just had to be. First Kakashi leaves on a mission, then Tsunade acts all weird, and then Naruto and Ino too. Sakura didn't know what to make of it and those thoughts were keeping her up.
Those same frustrations were building up all over again, boiling over, begging to reach the top. She wouldn't allow it. She never did. It had become extremely rare for her to cry and now just didn't live up to the standards required for it. Her most precious people being strange weren't going to cut it in her book.
She finally rolled onto her back, staring up at the ceiling. The darkness covered most of it, and the dim lantern light from outside forcing itself through her blinds just barely allowed her to make out the details. All the bumps and rigors across the top portion of her room reminded her of her life. Always filled with challenges, never a smooth road.
It became annoying a lot, but she couldn't break. What was going on now was like a small hill she had to hike up during her travels on her road of life.
Maybe Kakashi really was rubbing off on her.
She shut her eyes, trying to find some clouded faze or dizziness that signaled a sleepy retreat to unconsciousness. All she found was a visual picture of Team 7's group photograph. Sasuke was there, Sasuke was always there.
He was there to haunt her, to torture her. She felt a shiver run down her spine as the emotion built up, almost reaching that breaking point. She felt pathetic. After all this she still had feelings for him. She still believed he could be her knight in shining armor. She knew it was a foolish wish. She knew it wasn't something someone of her intelligence or her status should believe in, but she couldn't help it.
His dark gaze and his bluish tinted hair with his cocky smirk was still playing in her mind with him looking down at her with a love that only dreams could find.
She would never admit to this. She would never let anyone know that her feelings had only bled deeper; she honestly believed she was in love. This disgusted her to the point where she thought she would be sick, but she hung on. Her dreams were filled with gentle kisses and laughing children. Her heart was filled with undeniable devotion. But her mind was filled with a bitterness that resented everything he did.
Forcing those thoughts, those facts, into her heart was one challenge she couldn't overcome. He still had power over her. He still stole her dreams and love without any knowledge of doing so.
It was wrong on so many levels that she felt like screaming to release it all.
"Oh great," she sighed with an unladylike gruffness added to her voice. First she disturbed by her friends' actions and then she was thinking about her long lost love and how weak she was to still want him like that.
She was beginning to wish that there were medical ninjutsu that could put her to sleep for the next six hours that wouldn't cause damage to her brain. Life just sucked at times, especially when you were a certain pink haired kunoichi who was two days into her period.
Sakura was awake before the sun had a chance to rise and shed light on Konoha. It was still dark out but Sakura could tell that dawn would come soon. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. She hadn't gotten much sleep last night, but she figured a shower and a quick run could fix that.
Sakura leaned against her outside door, the lock already in place. She was freshly showered and her hair was still rather damp, only allowing the light breeze to cool her into an awakened state, dispersing her sleepy drowsiness.
She began a slow jog through the dimly lit road. She was going to the running track that had been here as long as Konoha itself. It was there for shinobi. Sometimes civilians would run too, and sometimes it was used for marathons if they were held, but it was mostly for the purpose of training. Sakura ran the track once a week. It helped her keep up a little of her former endurance. Working in a hospital she didn't get out much so she had to make up for lost time.
She was glad to know that her thoughts weren't haunted by her traitorous teammate. Sometimes she just needed a break. A break from her pain, a break from life. It never made sense, a break from life, but she accepted it in much the same fashion as a bird accepts that it flies, or that a fish that it swims, or that a wolf that it hunts. She accepted a simple sentence without conscious thought of the act, because to her it didn't matter.
It was just another was of saying that she was over worked, emotionally and physically.
The track came into sight and she changed her direction to meet that of the round route. It spanned along the walls of the village gate, trees and training fields as well as homes and shops could be seen along the sidelines. The grayish blue of the morning made those same places seem like they themselves were asleep. It was tranquilizing.
Se sped up ever so slightly, not bothering to slow down at the sharp turn where the track met the mountain in which the Hokage's faces were forever carved. She didn't stop when she sensed Rock Lee's chakra in the training field not far from her, no doubt doing something that would kill most other beings, and she didn't stop when she passed the Uchiha compound.
It was still there, standing broken and fractured, the rusted kunai still embedded in the walls. There was blood stains across such walls, cracks and gashes, testament to the brutally of the battle that had raged there.
Sakura would not acknowledge it. To do so would be to acknowledge the reasons that her beloved had run from her to the depths of many souls' hell. That darkness still gripped him, she knew, and he would never be permitted the freedom of it that everyone wished he still possessed.
She continued running, her eyes glancing over to a road that had been cut off from the village's walls. It ran straight into the gate, and Sakura held a confident feeling that it was where it ended. Out side those walls were forest and woods, a wild creation that shinobi were taught to survive in while handling a most important assignment.
She always had a fleeting spark of curiousity as to where it had once led but it was always drowned out by the morning chirping of the birds. She knew that nature was at its best in the village right at this spot, but she could only guess as to why someone would go so deep into that nature that they created a road to guide them.
With once last shy look over her shoulder she reasoned that the road was indeed very old and extremely worn. No one had used it in a very long time, and it was obvious that it would give and become unnoticeable among the children of the village. But to her, and to the other young shinobi it was something that they could all see as clearly as the knife they threw with an intent to stab their opponent. It was all to noticeable, all to obvious, all too alluring.
Sakura would willing admit to being drawn to mysteries, and this one was ranked fourth, out classed by only the things that she had been waiting years to discover. The first was obviously her sensei's face, that forbidden flesh that he never allowed them a peek at. The second was her shishou's feelings for the deceased toad sage, Jiraiya. The third was one she avoided. It was why Sasuke hadn't come back yet.
She felt as though that one should be ranked first, but she knew why. Sasuke's thirst for power had grown out of control, she wasn't blind, she could see before he had even left the village. Besides, Kakashi's face had always been a thing of huge curiosity to her. Like a Christmas present that she wanted so badly to seek an early look at, but was disappointed every time by the fact that it was being held in a different hiding place.
Sakura wanted so badly to laugh at herself. Here she was, a seventeen year old kunoichi, comparing a man's face to Christmas present.
Her peace and joy were abruptly interrupted by a masked face dropping down in front of her in a crouched position. The white and red dog shaped mask telling her that the man infront of her was Anbu, as he wore a cloak, she went rigid with worry.
His voice was deep and grave with a hint of impatience.
"Hokage-sama requests your immediate help."
Whatever it was, it wasn't good.