"Chlo'?" I hear quietly from the other side of the bed. I don't move as I feel the bed shift and Avi's voice ask again, "Chloe, what's wrong?" I can't bring myself to move until I feel arms wrap around me and I turn into them, still tremoring. My head finds Avi's chest as I listen to her heartbeat. "Shh, I'm here Chlo', I'm here," she says as she holds me tight. I grip her as if I let her go, I'd lose her forever. We sit in the dark silence for a few minutes, Avi resting her head on top of mine as she gently rubs my back and my sobs finally quiet down. Finally, Avi breaks the silence by asking, "Did you have a nightmare?" I quietly nod and Avi asks, "Can you talk about it?"

I don't say anything for a few moments. Avi holds me a little tighter as I finally let out a sigh. "I'm used to nightmares. I used to have them all the time after my dad died. Then they started including Rachel when she went missing….and then Max…and eventually I would relive watching you almost die. I'm used to those. But these new ones are different."

"How so?" Avi asks gently as she rubs my back again.

"These are things I haven't seen before," I whisper. "They're new scenarios…of me losing you." I look down. "Tonight's was a school shooting but I've watched you drown, found you after a car accident, watched something crush you, watched you die in a fire…I've seen you walk away from our friendship and somehow that's almost as terrifying as seeing you…you know."

Avi pauses as if she's taking this all in. Finally, she asks, "How long have these nightmares been going on?"

I sigh. "About a month," I mutter. "It's why I've been so tired. I haven't really been sleeping."

Avi squeezes me a little tighter as if she's trying to protect me, "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I don't want to be a burden," I say as I pull away from her. I look down, "I've always been able to handle these before. I pull myself together and I somehow make it through the night. You being here helps…you give me a reason to fight through it. But…I've had so many people walk out of my life for one reason or another and I think there is this part of me that feels like this is too good to be true or that my luck is going to run out. That eventually…I'm going to lose you too because that's what my life always does. It takes everyone I love away from me." I feel tears fill my eyes again as I turn away from Avi, ashamed almost at the turmoil of emotions inside of me.

I feel the bed rise a moment and I start to pull in closer to myself, thinking Avi's walked away. Instead, I hear a gentle, "Look at me," as I feel a hand pull my chin up and I look at Avi. "You're not scaring me away…especially over something like this. This…this is what I'm here for. To help you navigate through all of this. This is nothing to be ashamed of. You're my best friend. I'm here to calm you down after a nightmare or help you talk through those scary thoughts. I'm not scared of them. I'm never leaving you." She puts her forehead against mine and I sob. She finds my hands and holds them tight. "I love you so much, Chlo'," she says gently.

"I love you," I choke out. She wraps her arms around me again and I clutch her tightly, my head again finding her chest as the sound of her heartbeat calms me down again.

After a few moments, Avi finally pulls away and says, "Let's try and get you some sleep. I hesitantly nod as she climbs back into bed and I slide in next to her. She pulls me close and I let out a sigh, finally releasing the tension I had felt since jolting awake. As I lay my head on her chest, I finally drift off. For the first time in over a month, I am able to sleep.