A/N: I know some of you have probably read the first half or so of this chapter, because of my dumb mistake of posting chapter four instead of chapter three last week, but I want you to know that this is the edited version of it. I finally finished writing it and going back over it, so please enjoy.
Send Me An Angel: Chap 4
With a huff she finished throwing the last of her needed clothes into her travel bag, resting innocently on her bed. No one had even bothered to tell her where the hell she was going, and she hadn't even noticed that until she started packing. She sighed as she zipped up the bag. No matter what she couldn't deny the fact that she loved everyone of them, and it hurt to think that they would keep anything from her. It was torture.
She dropped the large black bag on the floor and jumped in bed. It was going to be a long night, she knew it. Every time she was looking forward to something, no matter what it was, time always worked against her.
Sakura slipped under her soft blankets silently and pulled her pillow closer. At least Kakashi was going to be alright, that was the only good thing. He was ok and getting better and better the more time passed. She shut her eyes, comforted by the thought. Naruto was going to be alright too. They were too strong to get killed. They were too stubborn, she laughed.
Her thoughts reluctantly trailed over to Sasuke. He was just as perfect in her memories as she knew him to be. A beautiful face with a smooth voice that formed all she ever thought of him to be. As a young girl that was all of him she knew. His face. His voice. She avoided his eyes at all cost, despite what anyone said. His eyes were cold and merciless and she would have had to admit to that if she stared into them for too long.
Where was he now? Was he still with Orochimaru?
"Impossible," she mutter half consciously. Orochimaru was dead, as far as anyone knew, and he wasn't coming back. Tsunade would hunt him down personally if he were to ever show up again. He was evil and twisted and had furthered Sasuke's...sickness.
That's right, it's a sickness. He wasn't mentally incapable of understanding his position from a different human being's point of view, of a friend's point of view.
Her mind went blank and she saw darkness, letting exhaustion take over yet again.
--
Morning came faster than she thought possible. She woke from a dreamless sleep, extremely thankful for that, and quickly showered and dressed. Today they were leaving the village. They would travel somewhere they've never been before, with the exception of Kakashi, and somehow make a life there.
But it wasn't far from the village, she tried to reason. They weren't far away. At the first sign of trouble they could come back and help defend the land they knew as home. Besides, Kakashi wouldn't leave Konoha unprotected; she knew this as a fact. He was far too loyal to this village.
Shaking her head and grabbing her bag she thought to herself that he was the most loyal person she had ever met. Even Naruto didn't win Kakashi over in that category. Kakashi was loyal in his own way. A way that was true and pure and stronger than anything else she had ever known. Naruto must have gotten his sense of protective obligation from Kakashi.
She yawned, stepping out of her door and shutting it behind her. She had already locked it, but she couldn't help herself from twisting the handle just to be sure. She knew it was a stupid habit. She lived in a village full of both decent and incredibly skilled shinobi, a door lock wouldn't stop them if they wanted to break in.
She jogged most of the way there, stopping at an early fruit stand to buy an apple. Apparently skipping breakfast wasn't going to be such a good idea, she realized as she paid for the red fruit. In past missions or hikes with Kakashi they were lucky if he stopped for them to puke. In fact, one time Sakura did puke during one of their earlier hikes. She still remembered his voice commanding her to pull it together.
"Hurry up Sakura, I'm not waiting here all day. If you were on a mission right now you'd be dead."
Asking him to explain the "you'd be dead" part turned out to be a really bad idea. Kakashi wasn't one to tell them anything personal, that still held true to this day, but he had slipped them a small piece of somewhat personal information.
"Missions of assassination," he had explained, "are usually ones that involve retreat. Once you've got the target dead you have to move out, that should be obvious. If you get caught by the guards then you need to escape even faster because it would not be a good thing if they knew what village you came from. Vomiting during the retreat would screw up the entire effort, not to mention having to explain to the Hokage exactly why you took the mission in the first place if you couldn't hack it."
Sakura remembered the sting that lecture had had on her. Kakashi had picked her out of the group, and that was embarrassing. As if throwing up in front of Sasuke hadn't been bad enough. He also forced her to understand the dangers of high level missions in that hike. They had four and half miles left to go, and he wasn't turning back. He had made her walk a mile and run the rest. She remembered puking two more times before he finally let her go home.
Thinking back on it now, it looks like child abuse. Isn't that what her father had been screaming when he opened the door to find her cheeks green and her hand over her mouth? He had gone on a rampage after her mother had retold him what had happened. Telling Mom never had been a good idea, but Sakura had been too sick at the time to even consider it.
"Who do you think you are?" she heard her father's voice ring in her hears as she thought back to the memories she had of him shoving a finger into Kakashi's hard chest.
"She's just a little girl you bastard! You can't make her do that when she's sick! You shouldn't be able to make her do that anyway."
Kakashi's face had been blank. When he glanced down at her, trying to hide in the smallest corner of the room, he smiled warmly to comfort her. She remembered being so worried and scared. Kakashi's judgement meant everything. He was her teacher, the one who decided her life. He literally held her career in his hands.
His dark eye had then switched back to her father, but he made no move to slap away the finger that she was sure must have been bruising him by then. "Listen, Sakura chose to be a ninja. No one forced her into this. There are certain requirements of shinobi that seem harsh to civilians," he continued with a reasoning voice, "but it's all for their survival in the end."
Sakura could still still picture her father's glare perfectly.
"And these requirements involve my daughter puking her guts out on a street while you tell her to go faster?"
She still didn't know whether the look that Kakashi had given her father was one of impatience or anger but was enough for the male Haruno to shut up and listen.
"I don't think you understand what it is we shinobi do to protect your sweet little home here, sir. We get our guts pulled out by instruments that would scare you shitless," his tone had been so bitter. "We withstand interrogations that put some of us in the mental hospitals so that we don't give the enemy information about how to end your precious lives."
Sakura had never before seen Kakashi like that. He had been brutally honest before, sure, that was just his nature. But to lay down the fundamental dirtiness of shinobi life in front of, nevermind directly to, a man who's daughter has pink hair? That just seemed...cold.
"And Sakura's fine. It's just a twenty-four hour sickness."
Kakashi had pulled back then and walked toward the only exit of the room. Sakura's corner just so happened to be right next to it.
Her father seemed to have recovered from his speechlessness in time to start yelling again before Kakashi reached the exit. "What do you know about kids huh? Do you have any? Do have any idea what a parent goes through sending their child to a school that trains them to be killers?"
Kakashi had turned back around, but his mood had changed. He wasn't cold anymore, he was just straightforward. "No, I don't. I don't have any kids, and I don't think my childhood can actually count as a childhood."
Somehow her father's glare had lightened a bit in surprise, "What does that mean?"
Kakashi shook his head and began walking back out while answering his question, "I've been a ninja for a very long time."
She remembered the feel of him ruffling her hair as he left; the tingle as a smile rose to her lips; the sound as her father began to boil once more at the fact that Kakashi had even touched her. Days like that she would never forget. They were the ones where she learned just who Kakashi really was.
He wasn't kind, but he wasn't mean. He did what had to be done. He told the truth like it was and didn't change the facts. He didn't soften the blow unless it absolutely had to be. Even when he was down and dying he did what he must. In that sense he earned the respect of so many people. He had so many looking up to him and so many more judging him. How did he deal with that?
Sakura took a bite of her apple, figuring the question to be a stupid one to ask. Kakashi could deal with anything. People could hate him or love him and it wouldn't make a difference in the world to him. He already had more problems than she though possible to deal with, but by the end of the day he could kick back with a book and enjoy a few hours of peace with all that work done. Not only was it done, but it was done exceptionally well.
She pushed through the doors of the Hokage Tower, but not quite as hastily as her last time. It was just about time to go, although she was rather early. So much for that "kicking back and relaxing for a few peaceful hours" that Kakashi got to take advantage of so often. Sometimes it just felt unfair.
Even so, she had a smile on her face as she adjusted her bag to better comfort herself and threw her half eaten apple into the first trash bin she could find on her way to the Hokage's office. A thought occurred to her as she continued on her way down the long hall to meet Tsunade. Kakashi had been admitted to the hospital only yesterday with an impressive injury and now he was expected to show his former students the way to a hideout outside the village while still recovering from a hole in his stomach and a major lack of chakra?
That just seemed ridiculous.
She turned the doorknob a little less lazy than she had when she walked into the building, with a slight increase in her haste, and felt the same worry that had tormented her settle back into her gut when she saw Kakashi leaning against a wall with Naruto annoying him and Tsunade at her desk.
"Are you supposed to be out of bed?" she asked quickly, walking over to Kakashi while completely ignoring Tsunade's greeting of, "About time you got here."
He smiled at her, "Of course Sakura. Who is else is going to teach you kids how to get three feet out of the village?"
Her frustrated worry didn't let up, even as Tsunade called them to order.
"Alright, that's enough. We don't have time for this right now," Tsunade said quickly, "Kakashi's fine for now Sakura, although I'm not going to release him completely just yet."
Her eyes darted over the shinobi in front of her, one slouching in what could only be described as disrespect, and one blond pouting in the most aggravating way. She sighed, "You all know that you'll be leaving very soon. Their are certain warnings and rules we need to go over before we can get to that."
"Like what?" Naruto interrupted in complete Naruto fashion.
"Like where you're going."
Sakura could have sworn she saw Kakashi flinch at that, though she couldn't be sure since she just barely caught the motion from the corner of her eye.
"Now, you'll be staying in an abandoned home about a mile or so from the gate. No one will expect anyone to go there. It hasn't been used in more than twenty years. Kakashi will tell you what rooms are open to you and what rooms shouldn't be entered," she paused to shuffle through the papers scattered across her desk. She brought up a bottle full of large white pills and tossed them to Sakura. "Those are for Kakashi," she explained. "Get him to take two every night at nine o'clock, got it?"
Sakura nodded, stuffing the bottle in to a secure pocket on the side of her bag.
"Good," Tsunade approved, "that covers quite a bit. As for the electricity, I have Kotetsu getting that turned back on at this very minute. Izumo is taking care of the water. Genma is getting your things Kakashi, and Asuma is at the house waiting."
"For what?" Kakashi demanded almost childishly.
Tsunade grinned, "To help you limp around."
"Seriously Tsunade, what's he doing?"
Her grin faded and she shook her head, "Just getting a few things ready. He's making sure everything will be in working order for when you three arrive."
Kakashi nodded in acceptance, but Sakura found all of this to be more exciting than the chore Kakashi considered it to be. She felt it would be exciting to hide for a few months, in a place she had never known existed, with two of the most important men in her life.
She couldn't help herself when she asked, "How does Kakashi-sensei know this place?"
Tsunade showed more surprise than Sakura was used to, and that put her on edge. Maybe he was tortured there, taken there during some war when he was captured. It would be believable, after learning of the fact that Kakashi's gone through a lot more in his life as a ninja than she thought possible at first, or at least possible while still being sane.
"It was his childhood home," she heard Tsunade reply quitely. "He moved into the village when he was young, so the house was just left there."
It sounded like something was being left out. Tsunade was using such a careful, yet somehow unbearably tender, voice. Sakura decided to ignore it. Kakashi hadn't shown any reaction after all.
"His childhood home?" They had peeked her curiosity.
"Yes, so he knows the place better than anyone else. Listen to him and you won't get hurt."
Ok, that sounded a little weird. "Hurt?"
Tsunade realized her mistake, "Hurt as in Kakashi's bastard pets."
"You don't have to be so mean," he muttered in his corner. Then he turned his head back to face his leader, "Is that all then?"
"Yes," Tsunade answered, "Go wait at the gate. Once Genma gets finished he'll be joining you."
"Right."
Kakashi left slowly, and Sakura noticed the obvious limp Tsunade had been talking about. She moved to go help him, but was called back.
"Sakura, stay a while. I have a few more things to discuss with you."
--
Naruto had helped Kakashi walk to the village gate. Sakura had been too absorbed in her own thoughts to notice much of anything else. Her quick review with Tsunade had her even more worried than before. She barely realized they were outside the gates when Naruto called for her to hurry up. She finally took notice of Genma staring at her with an annoyed expression.
"Where do you think we're going?" Naruto asked as Sakura joined him at his side.
"I don't know," she shrugged, obviously this conversation was irritating to her. She wanted to run over that last conversation with Tsunade a few more times. "We'll find out when we get there."
She turned her head away from him. Her eyes settled on Kakashi, being half dragged by an impatient Genma. She wondered why they were such great friends, what with the way Genma was treating her injured former sensei at the time. Her gaze remained locked on the bodies in front of her even as her mind saw Tsunade sitting calmly at her desk, giving her the personal last minute warnings.
"Sakura," she had said slowly, "there are a few details you need to know about what the medicine does to Kakashi. It breaks down most of the walls he's built up over the years, and that allows his emotions to...make their presence known."
She was being so careful about her choice of words.
"That's why I only want him to take them before he goes to bed, around nine. He needs proper sleep and a little medicine to help him finish healing. Even with all of our skill we can't completely cover a wound like that, and so his body is going to have to finish the job for us."
"I already know so why are you telling me this?"
Tsunade shook her head, "Because Kakashi's situation is a little bit different from the ones you regularly encounter in the hospital. Even for a shinobi he isn't quite normal. So take a few precautions and watch after him, especially after he takes the pill. You might lose a little sleep because of it."
Tsunade had refused to further discuss her meaning, rushing Sakura out of the office with the excuse that Genma had arrived and she was keeping everyone waiting. As frustrating as it was, she had obeyed. It never paid to go against Tsunade, not when she was serious about what she was doing.
Now she was regretting that choice. Everything Tsunade had said kept replaying itself inside her mind, making everything more confusing with each word. She said something about losing sleep, and something about Kakashi not being normal. Well isn't that obvious? Kakashi's never been normal, and Sakura would have lost sleep because of this movement of residence anyway. She never adjusted well to new environments, especially not ones where certain parts of it are cut off for unknown reasons.
It was all incredibly frustrating, and yet, she found herself happy. Now she would be able to take care of Naruto and Kakashi without needing an excuse to do so. Tsunade was right. Some people just need someone to look after them, and her boys are a prime example.
She heard Genma after maybe an hour, when the silence had finally started to gnaw at her nerves. His deep rumble of laughter lightened the mood.
"You really screwed up this time," she could hear him say, and she could only guess that he was talking to Kakashi. "Even I could kick your ass right now."
"Shut up," her sensei mumbled, apparently not liking or agreeing with the idea. "I'm not out yet."
"You never are," his laughter lowered itself to a warm smile. "These kids should have seen you before though. I bet they'd be shocked."
"Doesn't really matter, now does it?"
"I guess not," his smile turned slightly cocky, "but it still would have been fun."
"Oh, and how's that?"
She had the feeling that Kakashi was just stringing Genma along for the small talk. Perhaps they were having an inside joke of sorts, something that she and Naruto would not understand. Once again she felt left out and betrayed. How could they continue to keep things from her?
"I would pay good money to watch you and Naruto go at it at seventeen."
There was a shock among his students, and Sakura was sure he could sense that, but he laughed. "Yes, that might've been fun. But even if I were seventeen I wouldn't have anything to fight with him over."
Genma began to pout. "You came up with stuff to fight with me about."
"I was creative."
Sakura giggled. Watching Kakashi play around with old pals was turning out to be quite amusing. They had a lot of history together, and with their ninja reputation to go by she believed that they even knew what the other one would say before he said it.
"I have an idea," Genma announced, his smirk clearly showing that he had hidden knowledge unknown to the rest of them.
"I'm afraid to ask."
"You should be," Genma grinned. "It's quite a discovery."
"Uh-huh, I definately don't want to know."
Genma tilted his head to look to the side, his eyes meeting Naruto's. "How about you? Do you want to know?"
Naruto looked smug. "I'd beat him no matter what it was." It sounded like Naruto was clueless to any part of the conversation that had taken place after Genma had said that it would be fun to watch Kakashi and him fight. Poor kid.
Genma took on an expression that Sakura had seen on Kakashi and could recognize on anyone's face, with or without mask.
"You do know that you don't have to actually fight to fight right? That there are other ways to have a battle?"
"Of course," he answered, though his confidence had faded a bit. "But I could win anyway."
"That's what I thought," Genma laughed. Then he turned back around, without sparing either of them another glance. Giving his attention back to Kakashi he addressed him, "But this guy won hands down."
There was a moment of silence, the younger two not willing to disrupt the older ones. Genma lost his happy mood staring at Kakashi, his look turning into worry. Sakura found it easier to understand how those two were best friends now, when one wasn't in a foul mood.
"You look tired," Genma spoke evenly. "Maybe we should take a break."
"No," Kakashi shook his head, "keep going. We don't have much further to go."
A slow smile spread across Genma face, reaching ear to ear. "Maybe I should give you a piggyback ride."
"Hell no."
The laughter returned.
--
Sakura caught sight of Kakashi's head bobbing up and down a little while later. He really was tired. She began to feel a little safer around Genma. He could read Kakashi so easily. She hadn't been able to tell he was getting sleepy until now, when he was fighting to stay awake.
Genma stopped, and Kakashi would shake his head furiously.
"Keep going," he would growl over and over again. It was always accompanied with another mumble from Genma of, "Stubborn idiot."
She was beginning to worry. Kakashi was just barely released from the hospital, and really he should still be in it. Pushing himself is going to make it worse. Much worse. His body is supposed to be healing itself, but with the way he was acting she was starting to think that he would tear his body apart before even a scrape could heal. She had just opened her mouth to voice her opposition when his head steadied and he straightened.
"Asuma," he both warned and greeted. He was alerting them to their new arrival while also saying a quick hello. Sakura was suddenly reminded of Kakashi's tracking abilities and his sensitive sense of smell. Though it wasn't as strong as Kiba's, who had trained himself with the art for years, it was still impressive. She wondered if his sense was different from her Inuzuka friend's.
"Hey morons," came the reply. She wasn't sure when he had appeared standing in front of everyone, but all of a sudden he was there, staring down at not so good looking Hatake with a smile. His cigarette was just lit. "You took forever."
"We got lost on the road of life," Kakashi joked. Asuma wasn't affected like she remembered being the first time she had heard that excuse. He must be used to that one by now, she reasoned. "A long path indeed."
Asuma slung Kakashi's only spare arm over his shoulder to help Genma drag their friend the rest of the way. Or that's what she thought. He didn't continue walking though, instead he and Genma pressed a hand to Kakashi's back and shot a burst of chakra into Kakashi's body. He grunted in pain, and Sakura felt herself moving forward to stop them. She never wanted to see him squirming in pain the way he had been in that hospital bed, not ever again.
But that one shot was all they gave. After that they released him to let him stumble forward to gain his balance. She could barely make out the curses he was muttering under his breath, so filled with venom that she could feel the sharp edge in his voice.
He shut his eyes, took a deep breath and release it slowly. Afterwards he put his arms above his head and stretched, the popping of his back was so loud Sakura thought that they might have missed something in their last medical examination of him.
"Bastards," he breathed as he shoved his hands into his pockets. "You planned that."
"You can walk now," Asuma reasoned.
Genma and Asuma began to trail behind him. Genma whispered something to Asuma that sounded an awful lot like, "Watch out, he's gonna want to get us back."
She giggled to herself. They were just like kids. A bunch of boys. A group of brothers.
Not long after Asuma joined them she could tell the split in the woods was becoming more and more evident, even though it was slowly developed. She could see a gate, and the shape of a house. It looked like something she could live in comfortably, at least from a distance.
Genma started to laugh, though she had no idea as to what could have been funny. They were walking on a wide dirt road to an abandoned home in the middle of the forest with a temporarily crippled man. To make matters worse, that crippled man was their leader.
At least Asuma seemed to understand what his insane friend found humorous.
"What?" Kakashi asked out of impatience. His old buddies never did make any sense.
"Oh nothing," Genma sighed once his laughter died down. "I was just thinking of all the stuff we used to do out here. You haven't been here in years."
"So that was it," Kakashi also understood after that short explanation. Sakura found it very annoying how three old men could read each others' minds. Kakashi chuckled softly to himself. "I suppose you're right."
The house was getting closer, and Sakura could finally see how large it was. Her entire family and every last one of her friends could come and live together. All of the rooms might have been taken up by then, but she doubted she would have a problem with that.
The gate she had seen spread out to cover a good deal away from the house. She could see why Genma would have enjoyed "all the stuff they used to do out here." There was plenty of space, and young boys loved to play outside. The clearing made it so that a parent could keep an eye on the kid without much worry, and with the house this far away from the village she could understand how safe it must have been.
She noticed something that looked an awful lot like a shed 20 feet from the house. After walking a little closer she could make out the shape of two sheds. That was weird. Why would someone need two sheds?
They reached the gate, and Kakashi reluctantly opened it. He was so slow in doing so, almost like he didn't want to. That was when she heard it.
Barking.
Eight dogs came bounding down the small slope of a hill that stood in the front yard. She recognized them immediately, for they had saved her life only less than a week ago. Kakashi's ninja hounds weren't something you could forget. But they way they crowded around him to greet him made it seem like they were just a pack of dogs greeting their master.
And in a way, they were.
"I thought summons came from a different world," she said in surprise.
Kakashi looked back at her, his hands petting the tops of fur covered heads, "Usually they are, but I raised my summons. They stay here because it would quite hard to explain why eight dogs were living in my apartment."
Sakura's surprise wore off a bit. Kakashi always had reasons, things that made his actions make sense, and she should have known better than to doubt him, or his sanity. She was again surprised when a small tired looking dog came over to stare up at her. She remembered seeing him before, and remembered thinking that he was extremely cute. She was pretty sure Kakashi didn't have any female dogs among his pack.
"You're staying here, right?" he asked in a bored yet interested tone, his head cocked to the side causing the tattoo on his forehead to become slanted.
She smiled, "For a while."
Naruto was busy being Naruto, which meant getting into an argument with Kakashi's meanest mutt. With his black lips curled back over his unbelievably vicious looking teeth Sakura reasoned that Kakashi had certain dogs that should not be messed with, even though she had seen that exact same dog being scratched behind the ears by Kakashi only a few moments ago. The growl that then rose from that dog's throat was enough to make even Naruto step back.
"Take it easy," Genma ordered as he walked by to grab Kakashi's arm. "Naruto's an idiot so be too hard on him."
Genma had then proceeded to drag Kakashi away, which earn a few unashamed whimpers.
The cute dog who had spoken to her continued to follow her. She wondered what his name was.
But then again she wondered a lot of things.
Everything felt like it was going in slow motion when they reached the front steps. Kakashi began resisting Genma's tug, which only caused him to tug harder. Her tired looking canine companion suddenly looked worried. Even the ever calm, cool, and collected Asuma was looking uneasy.
She was thrown back in to the frustrating emotions she had felt in Tsunade's office the day she returned from that first mission. She had been questioned on whether or not Kakashi was ok, and then felt insulted when her teacher had muttered to herself that she shouldn't be asking Sakura, since Sakura "didn't even know." She felt left out and stupid, like there was a knowledge sitting in front of her that she longed for but couldn't reach.
Genma released Kakashi, and her former sensei took a step forward on his own. Somehow, even without her longed for knowledge, it seemed like such an accomplishment. Kakashi huffed in an almost childlike way. He turned back around.
"The right side of the house is off limits," he announced. "The left side is pretty much free to your liking. Asuma will show you the rooms picked out for you."
He didn't mention what he would be doing, but Genma followed Kakashi inside leaving the rest of them to wait for Asuma.
With a sigh the Sarutobi called for them to follow with a wave of his hand. Sakura came in with Naruto behind her. She noticed that the dogs wouldn't come inside the house, apparently they had been trained quite well.
Inside was even more beautiful than out. She took off her shoes and walked behind her superior through the house. There weren't many pictures, seeing as how it looked like many of them had been taken down. On delicately carved tables, numbering between three and six, there sat evenly placed pictures that had been turned down. Scrolls lined the walls still though. Detailed paintings covering every inch of paper that was shown.
They turned down the hallway, and she gasped. This time weapons hung close to the ceiling. Timeless tools of battle that would have Tenten sitting here bubbling with happiness for hours on end. Their shine could still be seen through the thin layer of dust that had settled over them.
"Here's your room Naruto," Asuma said opening a dark brown door to a relatively spacious room with a queen sized bed in the far right corner. A large dresser was pressed against the left side and a lamp stood on the edge. It had plenty of room for Naruto to do his workouts.
Naruto walked inside, looking around. "It's so clean," he spoke to himself.
"Yes, well, Kakashi's father liked a clean house," Asuma answered. Then he turned back to her, "Your room is right across from his. I need to make sure Kakashi and Genma are doing alright. If you need help or get lost call Pakkun. Understand?"
She nodded.
He left, walking back down the way they had come. It would take a while for her to get used to this place. It was nothing like her one bedroom apartment. She turned around to be met with another dark brown door. To her right there was a sword, cased in a black sheath that she found to be fascinating.
She pushed the door open. It wasn't anything like Naruto's room. The bed was instead covered in red blankets. The pillows looked extremely soft and comfortable and what every woman wants. She saw that there was another large dresser, much like Naruto's, along the side of a white painted wall. Closer to the door sat a desk with a rolling chair neatly tucked beside it. More scrolls lined the walls, landscapes painted in bright greens and blues.
She was surprised to see another door inside her room and quickly set her bag down on the desk to go investigate. Opening it wasn't a challenge, despite the fact that Tsunade had said the house had been abandoned over twenty years ago. It actually swung open smoothly, and she found a bathroom waiting for her on the other side.
She could have squealed with joy.
--
Sakura laid down on her new bed. She had just finished putting her clothes in the dresser and plundering around the bathroom. She sighed in content. Perhaps living here for a few months wouldn't be so bad.
Who was she kidding? She was going to enjoy every second of it.
The too comfortable bed. The annoying teammates. The job of forcibly medicating her former sensei. All of it.
She shut her eyes, enjoying the relaxation that washed over her. After going through what she had over the past few days, her nerves had had it. Murdering all of those men had been painful, but facing down the possibility of Kakashi's death had been torture. How was someone supposed to deal with that? How was anyone supposed to be all right with losing someone so precious to them?
She thought it was weird, how she felt about Kakashi. She truely cared about him. He was once her teacher, her leader, her friend, her guidenance, her pride, and she loved him. It may not be a romantic love, or one for that of a brother or father, but she still loved him. It confused her.
She found herself fighting against the silence. When there was nothing to distract her, when there were no more important matters to be attended to, her mind could wander back to Sasuke, back to her personal hell.
He had left her and everything else. He had thrown his life away, his very soul, for a chance to kill a man who he had once loved. It was a seriously screwed up situation to even watch unfold, she couldn't imagine what it would be like to live through it.
Running away couldn't be an option. Even if he had, which she knew he wouldn't, he would always be burdened with the pain of slaughtering that his brother had committed. She felt so sorry for him, like a part of his pain became her own. He was one of her closest friends, even at this distance, and that entitled her to sympathy. Even so, it hurt to think about him.
She sat up in a huff. No matter how hard she tried, no matter how strongly she fought against it, she would always give in to her desire to picture his face. To see his perfect eyes just looking at her without malice behind them would be a blessing.
"Sakura!" she heard Naruto call.
She was already up so she walked across the hallway to his room, where she saw that he had left the door open.
"Naruto?" she asked, looking around. "What on earth happened in here?"
To her surprise she saw that the room had almost turned itself upside down. The blankets and pillows lay scattered across the floor, his clothes a in a heaping pile set a corner next to the dresser. The sheets from the bed were halfway pulled off and even the small lamp was thrown off to the side.
Naruto himself was sitting cross legged in the middle of the floor. The clothes he was wearing looked like he had been thrown into a crowd where everyone had been grabbing at him.
"Look at this," he said grinning. In his hands was a picture frame, one that was a lot like the ones she had seen on the tables throughout the house on their way to these rooms. But it was the picture in the frame that he wanted her to see.
"Oh," was her surprised answer as she scanned over the beautiful woman behind the glass. Her silk black hair was wind blown and her eyes were shining. Her bright purple irises could have been glowing with happiness. Her lips locked in a smile. "She's gorgeous," Sakura breathed.
"I found it in the desk," he explained. "I was looking for...um, well, I was wondering if I could find any of the toys Kakashi-sensei played with when he was little."
Sakura could hear his voice laced with embarrassment, but her eyes remain on the angel in the picture frame. Who was that?
She took the picture from Naruto's hands, holding it in front of her. Could someone so beautiful had really existed? It seemed impossible. She was prettier than Hinata, and yet her features had an even more refined charm than Tsunade. It was unbelievable.
"Sakura?" Naruto asked, suddenly worried. "Are you ok?"
"I'm fine," she replied quietly. "Just curious."
The shock and wonder did not fade, as she had expected them to. She knew that she could stare at the woman for hours and still be enchanted by the pure elegance of the curves of her face and the shape of her eyes. Sakura could only guess how attractive this girl must have been.
She reluctantly tore her gaze away from those exquisite eyes and back to the deep blue ones staring at her in waiting. She smiled, "Let's look around, ok?"
He grinned back, "All right!"
--
After finding the dining room, kitchen, and a way to the backyard, Sakura and Naruto began to walk aimlessly through the house. She was still surprised by how beautiful it all was. Part of it put her in a state of awe and the other part irritated her. If Kakashi had this place then why did he always leave the bill with someone else?
"Oh get over it," she heard someone say; it sounded like Genma. It seemed to come from one of the rooms on this hallway, maybe if she could get Naruto to shut up she could hear what they were talking about.
"Get over what? I'm not the one complaining." That was definitely Asuma.
"I know, it's Hatake."
"You think we should have left him in there alone?"
"What's the worst he can do?"
She heard the metallic click of Asuma's lighter. "Probably break out."
Genma's light laughter floated through to where Sakura was standing. She put her hand on Naruto's mouth, to make sure he would be quiet, and pointed to the door the sound had come from. They pressed there ears against the hard wood.
"Well I guess so," Genma's smile could still be heard in his voice, "but he hasn't done that in a long time. And besides, I heard that he agreed to this. There's no reason why he would want to run off."
Asuma sighed. "He couldn't limp his way out of here anyway."
It sounded like the conversation was coming to a close, so Sakura grabbed Naruto's arm and yanked him behind her. They had to get away before they were caught, otherwise Kakashi may become paranoid and that wouldn't be good for him in his condition.
Her irrational worrying was probably going to be more annoying than helpful, but she couldn't suppress the deep breath of fresh air and the sigh of relief as Naruto finished shutting the door behind them. Somehow, no matter what, listening in on something that you weren't supposed to always managed to excite her. It was probably because she had been Kakashi and Tsunade's student. They demanded perfection, and they could always catch you doing something wrong.
"What do you think that was about?" Naruto asked as he walked a little further in to the back yard. There was a huge tree casting dark shadows across the earth that looked oddly comforting. It was twisted strangely, the branches thick and low. It would be the perfect place for kids to climb, Shikamaru take a nap, or Kakashi spend the day reading his books.
"I don't know," she answered quietly. "I don't think Kakashi-sensei likes this place."
There was no real reason why he should or he shouldn't, at least to her knowledge. Then again, with all the secrecy going on around Kakashi she doubted that she would ever be able to find out if he did. If she were to ask him...well, she knew she wouldn't get a real answer. It wouldn't be the truth.
Even though she trusted Kakashi with her life, and so much more, sometimes she knew when she shouldn't expect him to be the great, honorable, truthful man everyone knew he could be. Sometimes she knew when it wasn't any of her business.
"Why? Didn't he grow up here?"
She looked up at the sky, taking a moment to think. "Maybe that's why. Maybe he's the type of guy to leave things behind him."
Naruto looked confused, and she couldn't blame him. She was barely understanding this herself.
She smiled, "You think Kakashi-sensei could leave this if he was the sort to throw everything away?"
Perhaps Naruto didn't understand her, or perhaps he knew her meaning all too well.
His eyes became distant and he shook his head. He answered her without looking at her, like she had done him. "I think he would hold on to it. All of it."
And, to make it worse, she agreed with him.
--
They sat outside for almost half an hour before Asuma came to the back door. He found them staring off in to space, each lost in deep thought. He coughed lightly to get their attention. "Time's up rebels, come back in."
Naruto looked confused, again.
"It's time to assign chores."
"What do you mean chores?" Sakura asked, getting up to walk back in. Naruto followed her, though a bit more reluctant to do so.
"I'll explain later," he said quickly, "I don't want to leave Genma and Kakashi alone for too long."
"Why?"
Naruto didn't receive an answer, with only served to irritate him more. They followed Asuma as he led them through the maze known as Kakashi's abandoned house. It was still beautiful, but Sakura was thankful that the shock was wearing off.
"How do you know this place so well?" Naruto asked determined to get some reply, even if it wasn't the one from his first question.
Asuma spared them a quick glance over his shoulder before pulling out another cigarette. "We used to come here a lot as kids," he was obviously speaking of himself and Genma, "to play and train. It was fun."
"Why did Kakashi-sensei move out?" Sakura inquired trying to keep the conversation alive.
"He didn't want to live here anymore."
Unfortunately, it looked like she killed it whatever spark of small talk that had been born.
--
They found Kakashi and Genma bickering in the dining room. Their argument made no sense, but Sakura was sure that, like before, there was something more to it. They just wouldn't tell her. Bunch of bastards.
"Yo," came Kakashi's familiar greeting. "Good to see you back. You two disappeared for a while."
Sakura shook her head while she pull out a chair to sit down, "Find the backyard should count as getting lost."
That earned chuckles and laughter from everyone but she and Naruto. The two survivors.
"You'll get used to it," Genma said competely at ease. "It may take some time, but after a while it grows on you."
"This coming from a man who had to have a five year old Kakashi show him the way to the bathroom countless times." Of course Asuma couldn't resist the chance to say something insulting. What was she doing thinking otherwise?
"Ok, we can get back to that later," Kakashi announced sensing that the future comebacks would only get louder and give him a headache. "Why are we here?"
Sakura tilted her head, "To assign chores. Didn't you know that?"
He shook his head, "No, Genma dragged me here without telling me."
"Is that possible?" she asked aloud. Could Kakashi, the Hatake Kakashi, be forcibly dragged to a room by a good-for-nothing blond?
Kakashi chuckled, "Well it looks like it."
Asuma sat up straighter, "I'll give out the chores then."
Naruto and Sakura grumbled. Kakashi sat quietly.
"Sakura will be taking over all womanly duties. Kakashi, you might have to teach Naruto how to clean, but he'll be taking care of straightening up. That leaves Kakashi to take care of the dogs, go back over what Naruto did, and make sure that Sakura didn't poison the food. All done," he leaned back with a smile.
Sakura glared at him. She would let that part about her poisoning the food pass but... "Womanly duties?"
"Sakura, he just meant motherly work, more or less, since Naruto and I don't have a clue how to run a household with more than one person living there," Kakashi tried to defend his friend. In truth, they all knew that Kakashi could run a house that had over 50 people and still have everything in perfect order. He could take up whatever position he needed to, and throwing it all on Sakura was just a way out.
She huffed. "You'd do just fine without me."
"But Sakura I'm injured," he pouted.
"Damn."
He grinned and she was sure that it was the largest, most annoying grin that had ever popped in to existence. And it was all because he knew that he had won.
--
"Well we should be getting back to the village," Asuma said. It was a little after noon and he was getting anxious. "One of the group will bring groceries regularly so you don't need to worry about that. The electricity and water and everything is working perfectly, so that leaves nothing undone."
"Thanks for everything," Kakashi said sincerely. "Tell Kurenai I said hey, and come over sometime if you can."
Genma threw his arm around Kakashi's shoulder, "Do you think any of us are going to miss your birthday?"
Kakashi looked regretful, maybe he shouldn't have given the invitation. Asuma laughed. "I'll make sure they don't do anything too bad. We can't have anything inappropriate going on around the kids, now can we?" he asked gesturing to Sakura and Naruto.
Sakura was sure that she had never seen Kakashi more grateful of their presence. Apparently his birthday was a torture fest and it was their job to save him. Now the only problem was that she didn't know exactly when Kakashi's psycho friends were going to show up. With them, it could be weeks after the actual birthday.
"Keep an eye on Genma for me. He'll get himself killed without-"
"Shut it Hatake. Everyone's surprised you're still here. You're worse than me!" Genma tried his best at the insult, but it was still not enough to hide his joy. Sakura could barely picture an unhappy Genma. "We'll see you around."
"Not really, I don't think I'll be going anywhere."
That was their goodbye. The retreating backs of Genma and Asuma struck worry through Sakura, just as she had anticipated it would. It was like Konoha was leaving them, and they had to be good and stay. There was no way to follow, no way to protect.
"Sakura, hurry up," she heard Kakashi call. She turned around to se him standing in the doorway with Naruto a little further inside the house, staring at her over Kakashi's shoulder. "Don't let it bother you. This is only temporary."
She didn't let his words sink in the way she usually did. They meant nothing to her, it was as if he hadn't spoken at all. There were only very vague things running through her mind now after his interruption of her panicking rant.
She noticed that he was walking on his own now. That was good, it meant he was already getting better. She sighed and walked behind them in to the large house that would serve as her home for the next few months.
Sakura went straight to her room, which was getting easier and easier to find. Once inside, she shut the door and plopped down on her bed. It probably wasn't good to spend all day in bed when you were a skilled konoichi, but right now she just wanted to be alone to think for a little while.
Most of her work would be in the kitchen. That was all right with her, she didn't really mind. Training under Tsunade, she had been the one who had cooked most of the blond Hokage's meals alongside Shizune.
--
Dinner was easy to make since the boys were so hungry that they really didn't care what it was she cooked. Fish and rice, that's all she was up for tonight. After dusting everything, cleaning up, and organizing her room, Kakashi had better be glad that he was even getting that. She fixed the food silently and sat it down on the table.
"Ready," she called. She was surprised at how fast Naruto appeared, seated in perfect posture and no drool sliding off his chin. Impressive. Kakashi was slower to get there, preferring a more casual pace. She almost laughed at the exaggerated difference. Naruto dug in.
Kakashi picked up his food, balancing everything on one arm. "I think I'll eat outside. The fireflies are quite beautiful out here."
She nodded, a little disappointed that he wouldn't be joining them. And he would be leaving her to fend for herself at a table with a super-stomach-blond, though Kakashi usually turned around so they wouldn't see his face. She couldn't really blame him though. From his conversations with Asuma and Genma, she knew he hadn't been here in a long time. He might just be missing the old scenery from home.
Sakura ate her rice slowly and quietly, trying to give Naruto some time to slow his pace. She looked at the mess he was making, a quick flash of irritation rushing through her. She decided that he would be the one cleaning that up, because she sure as hell wasn't. That, and she doubted Kakashi would even consider it. That man was so lazy.
"Sakura what do you think of this place?" Naruto asked after forcing down a mouthful of fish.
"It's nice," she answered, though she would have preferred the silence, even if it wasn't really silence, with Naruto it never was. She wanted to think in peace. "It's not what I expected it to be."
It definately wasn't a sewer, that was for sure.
"I know! Look at it, it's like a mansion!"
Sakura shook her head. She wouldn't reply to that. It wasn't a mansion but it wasn't tiny either. A thought occurred to her then. Compared with Naruto's life time apartment this place would appear huge. It seemed big even to her, and she had grown up in a twelve bedroom house.
She got up and put her dishes in the sink. She would be the one washing them anyway, so why not wait until everyone was done? She smiled at her hyper friend. "Finish eating Naruto. I'm going to go check on Kakashi-sensei."
She walked to the back door, her favorite exit. She figured that it wouldn't matter which door she used, Kakashi had only said that he was going outside. She only had to walk around to find him. The nighttime sky was glowing with stars, undisturbed by the city lights. The slip of moon was white against black. The forest behind the great tree in the middle of the yard was filled with flickering yellow lights. Kakashi was right, it was beautiful.
It distracted her so much that she didn't notice the bowl placed on the steps until her foot hit it. Kakashi had left it there. He must not have been in a hurry to get back inside. She looked back up and found him resting on one of the higher branches of what she was beginng to think of as his tree. He was looking down at the glowing bugs, she could tell, even though his back was turned to her.
"Hey Sakura," he said just loud enough for her to hear it. He didn't turn around to look at her, and his voice betrayed nothing.
"Hey," she whispered back. She was sure he could hear it. His sensitive ears could pick up just about anything, even with the soft buzz of the insects around them. She began walking towards him, mesmerised. "What is all this?"
"The fireflies," he chuckled. "I used to sit out here all the time and watch them. It's been a while since I've had the chance to sit still for any period of time."
She knew what he meant. He had been sent on missions constantly, by choice, but still. These smaller things in life, the things that you overlook, are the most pleasurable wonders. He seemed to understand that. "It's amazing."
She began to wonder why the dogs were quiet as she jumped up the thick branches to stand next to where he was comfortably sitting. The view was even more overwhelming. It was soothing and magical, she stared off in wonder. "How could you leave this place? It's so beautiful."
She said it before she had a chance to think it over. Worry over his reaction settled in her stomach as she remembered Asuma's vague, closing answer. He had done it for Kakashi, answered that way to protect him. What would Kakashi do when faced with it himself?
"It wasn't doing me any good. I was young and my parents were dead. I thought it would be better to live in the village, where I could train and get stronger." She could see him smile, but she knew that it was even more fake than anything Sai had ever done. She knew not to pry, Kakashi's business was his own, but somehow she felt that the information belonged to her as well. She was going to be living here, why shouldn't she know?
She stood up. "I should go make sure Naruto hasn't broken anything. Come inside soon, okay?"
He nodded.
As she walked back she thought she understood what he meant. That one clue, "my parents were dead," held a lot of meaning. What child would want to live in a place that would constantly remind them of the loved ones they had lost? She felt a rare surge of pity for Kakashi, but knew that pity wasn't what he had needed.
--
Sakura was exhausted. She had survived her first day in the Hatake house and she didn't think she could take anymore. Kakashi was like a dictator at times. He wanted things a certain way, and even though he done more than his fair share of the work, it didn't take that heavy load of work off his students' shoulders. At this point, she didn't think he cared. Right now, on her side of the house, you could see your reflection in the floors. She placed his pills and a glass of water on his bedside table and left.
Her shower was hot, thank god, but short. She couldn't stay in the comfort of the waters without going to sleep, she knew she couldn't. Now in bed, she groaned into her pillow, the sound came out muffled. She wrapped herself in the soft blankets and, just to have some sort of childish rebellion against Kakashi, promptly passed out.
She didn't dream, but she didn't feel like she slept well either. She was always on the verge of waking up, like she couldn't find the one thing that she needed to do before losing consciousness. She rolled over in frustration. It had to be the stress that this week had thrown on her. It had to be.
It was so quiet, the soft humming of the forest outside comforting in a way. She shut her eyes, waiting for sleep to find her. It didn't. A distant sound kept pulling her out of the fuzzy haze that lead to her unconscious bliss. It was strangled, gasping, and so frightening that she felt her heart begin to race.
She kicked the blankets off of her, her need to make sure her boys were alright overpowering her reasoning. She didn't bother to grab any more clothes, the shorts and T-shirt seemed like plenty to her, even as the cold air met the creamy skin of her legs. Goose bumps rose across her limbs, but she didn't care, it only added to her fear.
She raced across the hallway, pulling Naruto's door open. He was snoring, as always, lost in his dimwitted dreams. That left Kakashi to check on. The same cry tore through the night and she could feel her heart pounding against her chest. Was he in trouble again? Why was it always him?
She ran down the halls, rushing to find the room that Kakashi had led her to before they had gone to bed. It couldn't be that hard, could it? The sound stopped, but Sakura didn't. She only ran faster.
Her shaking hadn't come, which surprised her, as this was a playback of her worst nightmares. She stood in front of the door that was the entrance to Kakashi's room. She was sure it was his. In this desperation everything, every detail, became so clear. She rushed into the room.
Kakashi was sitting up, his eyes wide and his mouth open, taking shaking breaths. He was staring had his palms, sweat running down his face and sinking into his mask. He was visibly trembling, worse than anything she had ever had. He didn't acknowledge her, not even when she came to stand the side of his bed. He was curled, his muscles tight.
"Kakashi-sensei..."
He didn't answer. It was like he still couldn't see her there.
"Kakashi," she said more urgently. His head lowered a little. She put her hand on his shoulder and turned him to her, her eyes filled with worry. She could feel the controllable tremors continue, and his eyes turned to her. They scared her. They were wide and fearful, so unlike anything she had ever seen of him. "What's wrong?"
"I-...Sak-kura..." he choked out. His voice was unsteady and quivering just as much as his body. Another gasp, or cry, she couldn't decide, broke through and jerked him forward. His hands clenched and gripped at the dark blankets spilled around his waist. "Go," he said more clearly, but still obviously strained. "Now."
He was fighting to gain control; of what, she didn't know. His perfect facade was broken, and this man underneath wasn't anything like she had expected. Cocky, stubborn, overconfident, possessive. Those she could have dealt with, but this was unstable. Now she understood what Tsunade had meant when she said that Sakura might lose a little sleep because of this. She thought she might lose a little piece of her sanity with it.
She crawled onto the bed and took his hands in hers. "Breathe," she commanded gently, "Calm down."
It was so strange, seeing him like this. He wasn't supposed to be this...uncertain. Kakashi's bravery was one of the many things everyone admired about him, right now he was as terrified as a child in a lion's cage. He took deep, uneven breaths. At least he was able to try to listen to her.
"I'm sorry," he whispered so quietly that she was sure she wouldn't have been able to hear him had she been any less close. "You...you shouldn't have to..."
His hands felt like ice. "Don't worry about me, just think about yourself. Try to relax."
Had he been trying to put himself at peace when watching the fireflies so this wouldn't happen? The act made so much more sense now. He held onto her hands, pulling them close to his chest. She couldn't pull away. Her attachment to him only made her want to comfort him more, because she felt that she was doing so little.
Tsunade couldn't be serious. Those pills wouldn't help his recovery, they could only damage it. He wasn't going to get any better with this coming out. This trauma.
Pity rose, even as she tried to stop it. It came with the irrepressible worry. What could have happened to him? She wanted to cry for him, so badly did she that she rested her chin on his shoulder, trying to comfort him with contact. Kakashi wasn't one to enjoy physical contact, no matter what, but at this point, in the state he was in, she doubted that he would object.
And he didn't. In fact, he buried his face in her soft hair. His trembles weren't stopping, and she hated that she couldn't do anything about it. This irrational protectiveness she had over Kakashi and Naruto was making this experience even worse. He was so courageous and strong, what could possible do this to him?
"Leave," he tried to beg, but it sounded so much like a wish that he didn't really want. She couldn't leave right now, even if she wanted to, not with him like this. Unthinkable.
"No." She had her final answer, and he couldn't order her to go. He wasn't able to right now. That was so frightening and alarming that she unconsciously took her right hand from his iron grip to wrap it around him. "I'm not going anywhere."
Me again: I know that the whole thing with Kakashi is kinda messed up, and believe me I hated even trying to describe it, but it will all work in perfectly. Hopefully this story isn't too predictable and, in turn, boring. I'm trying to put together a Kakasaku fic that isn't cliched. As far as I've read, and I've been reading for a while, I don't think there are many, if any(hopefully), like this. And I promise not to make it all depressing, because those just get on my nerves.