Going Back Home
Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series and if I did Jake wouldn't have imprinted on Nessie. But I still loved the series.
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Jacob drags his weary body up the front porch of the Cullens home. He stops to look back briefly hearing Ho-Leah crying and pacing anxiously at the tree line. Throwing back a wave Jacob goes inside and heads directly for his room. His mind, body and spirit are beyond tired. Jacob is completely oblivious of the empty home – the usually strong stench of vampire is weakened. He groans willing his body to complete the four feet trek to his bed before finally collapsing over into a heap. He's not sure how long he's been gone but it's not been long enough. Jacob growls to himself as his eyelids grow heavy. "Fuckin' leeches." Jacob grumbles as he drifts off to sleep.
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Jacob finds himself sitting in the forest and as he looks around he feels suddenly light and carefree along with a sense of freedom. He immediately recognizes the sights, sounds and smells around him as La Push. He was home – he was finally back home. Jumping up Jacob thinks about his home and quickly takes off running to find Leah. He knows that phasing would be quicker but he wants to surprise her – besides he can't pick up her scent anywhere around. Coming through the trees he sees his own home, the small red house never looked so good as it did now after being gone for so long. His initial idea is to bypass it and find his girly-wolf but a thought, or two, crosses his mind. One, he can get Billy to help lure Leah over making the surprise even better and, two, she'd be pissed knowing that he didn't bother to see his own father first. Jacob runs up to the backdoor and lets himself in. "Dad? Dad, I'm home." Jacob shouts but is greeted with silence. He searches the small home turning up nothing. "Maybe he's with Sue and Charlie." Jacob grumbles and heads outside.
Walking along the road Jacob notices that there's barely anyone out – if a dog counts as someone. He stops to look at Quil's house and walks up to the door and knocks – no answer. Jacob continues on stopping by all of the wolves' homes and receiving no response. Panic is starting to set in as he runs to the Clearwater home and bangs desperately on the door calling out to the inhabitants. "What?!" A deep voice growls out angrily as the door is snatched open. Jacob sighs with relief as he sees Embry standing before him.
"Embry – man, I'm glad to see you." Jacob says trying to laugh his panic away.
"What do you want?" Embry demands narrowing his eyes at the man standing before him his voice laced with anger.
"Nice to see you too." Jacob says his voice dripping with sarcasm frowning back at Embry. "What are you doing here? Where's Leah?"
"Don't you think it's a little late to be asking where she is?" Embry snaps his body starting to tremble and Jacob steps back feeling a sudden burst of heated rage explode from Embry's presence.
"Where is she?" Jacob demands quickly overcoming his initial shock and replacing it with anger and annoyance.
"She's gone." Embry answers his anger dissipating just as quickly as it began. Jacob raises an eyebrow in confusion as he notices Embry's eyes glazing over as tears begin to fall.
"Gone? Gone where?!" Jacob demands grabbing Embry's shoulders the panic from earlier building back up again. Jacob watches as Embry snaps out of his trance and blinks away his tears looking at him with pure hatred.
"She's never coming back." Embry growls backing away easily breaking free of Jacob's hold. "Go back to your fucking fairytale world with the damn leeches." Embry mumbles his eyes looking sad and distant as he shuts the door in Jacob's face. Jacob stands still in front of the door stunned as he tries to process Embry's words.
"Never coming back?" Jacob whispers to himself as if hearing the words again will bring some clarity. 'But why? How? She promised to watch over the pack, Billy and La Push. Why?!' Jacob feels his chest tighten as the world around seems to go dark and he drops to his knees. Suddenly a painful howl erupts from the forest.
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"LEAH!" Jacob screams sitting up in his bed covered in sweat. "Leah." Jacob breathes out heavily as he runs a hand over his face trying to catch his breath. Jacob shivers suddenly as if cold but he knows that he being cold is physically impossible. "Leah" Jacob whispers again as he climbs out of bed and looks around at his room. "I can't do this anymore." Jacob mumbles to himself as he grabs a duffel bag out of his closet and begins packing his things – at least some of them. Jacob quickly packs the essentials and some personal affects and begins searching for his phone. He heads over to his desk searching for his phone but turns up nothing. "Shit." He growls and begins tearing up his room desperately searching for it. During his search he can't help but wonder how long he's been away. It was easy to get away and not feel the imprint pull – Jacob stops his search as his mind wanders to Nessie. He didn't miss her – well not the way he should've or even used to. It wasn't painful being away from her. There was no pain or pull; sure a part of him missed Nessie but it wasn't the same as missing Leah. He had never really tested his imprint until that moment when he took off running. "I'm free." Jacob whispers as the epiphany hits him. He had left the state of Alaska while he was in his wolf form. He had come back to himself and realized that he had strayed too far, so far that he had even crossed into the Yukon Territory of Canada. At the time all he cared about was hurrying home to call Leah – to apologize to her, to tell her how much he missed her, that he was coming back home and that he loved her. Most importantly that he loved her and would never leave her again. But by the time he got back he was so exhausted that speaking would've been too much of a challenge. Then again why he just didn't take his furry ass back to Leah he hadn't the slightest clue. "Maybe it's because you've never even been as far as north as Prince George?" Jacob grumbles to himself as he grabs his packed bag and heads out the door and down the hall.
The silence suddenly hits him as he notices the stench of vampire is very weak – almost old and stale. Heading towards the kitchen Jacob looks for a note with a message explaining the Cullens' absence. 'Nope.' Jacob thinks as he grabs the cordless phone and dials his number hoping to hear it ring. The phone rings but he hears nothing within the house. "Shit." Jacob growls expressing his annoyance and is surprised to hear that his voicemail box is full. He quickly hangs up and dials again heading outside hoping that maybe it fell during his mad dash for the forest and again he hears – nothing. "Fuck." Jacob growls as the panic from his dream starts to build up quickly and he strains his ears for the familiar ring tone. "Ho-Leah!" Jacob calls giving up on his phone. He was going back to his Leah and wanted to say good-bye to his little partner. "Ho-Leah!" Jacob calls louder moving towards the trees and this time whistling for her. Nothing.
"You're back." Jacob freezes and turns around slowly to see Bella behind him.
"Yea." Jacob responds back eyeing her carefully.
"And you're calling for 'that' wolf." Bella states, rather than questions, with a weak chuckle.
"Yea." Jacob answers with a nod of his head while shifting the duffel bag on his shoulder.
"Leaving?" Bella asks pointing at the bag on his shoulder.
"I'm going back home." Jacob states with a sigh. "Look Bella, I, I know I said some things but I can't stay with you. This isn't my life – it was never meant to be." Jacob says shaking his head hoping that she'll understand.
"Your life is here with me." Bella says her voice cracking. Jacob looks at her and knows that if she could she'd be crying right now. "With Nessie." Bella adds almost as if it's an after thought.
"Bella, I was a kid when I said those things. And I know I shouldn't have said what I did the last time we talked." Jacob says apologetically unsure of how things will play out. "I thought you were the 'one'." Jacob admits resigning to finally tell Bella everything. "I, I needed someone to protect, to fix and at the time it was you. Then later after my transformation it became Nessie. Sometime later I lost that urge, that desire. I grew up. I didn't want someone constantly dependent upon me. I need – I want someone who will be my partner. Someone I can rely on, tell me the truth, and keep me grounded. Remind me of who I am and what my purpose is." Jacob begins to smile as he thinks about Leah. As his beta Leah became a constant companion, his partner, his anchor and yet at the same time his freedom. She brought him back down to Earth and yet he still had the freedom to be himself around her. She reminded him of his heritage, his past and a future. "I fell in love with Leah a couple of years ago." Jacob admits looking at Bella as she stands looking at him expressionless. "When she went on that trip with Sue and Seth, remember? My whole world was just…off. Nothing felt right – it was as if half of me was gone. But when she came back home – it seemed like everything was back to normal. All was right with the world and I know it sounds corny. I had missed her so much and all I could do was hug her. I hugged her as close to me as I could and I didn't want to let go – ever. I realized then that I loved her. I was truly in love with Leah and not that stupid imprint love." Jacob's face scrunches at the mention of imprint love. "It's not real love – at least for me it's not. It's a desire to fulfill the human needs. Something that allows us to hold onto our humanity – otherwise we'd all would've gone wild a long time ago." Jacob looks over at Bella as she stares back at him obviously wanting him to expound more. "Emily baby's Sam – that's what he needed. Leah would've just told him to suck it up and handle it like a man." Jacob laughs recalling all the times Leah told him the same thing.
"Paul and Rachel?" Bella asks with a frown.
"Paul is a jerk, short-tempered and always itchin' for a fight. Rachel calms that desire to fight. She mellowed him out – after Rachel he didn't phase as often. Jared and Kim – Jared used to be real quiet, didn't say a whole lot and never spoke his mind. Now that he has Kim, in order to protect her, he has to open up. She encourages him to express his concerns on what he believes are bad ideas."
"Quil then?"
"Quil and Claire?" Jacob laughs and scratches the back of his neck. "Quil, although one of my best friends, used to be a shameless womanizer. Quil chased after everything that didn't have a dick. He was constantly hitting on girls, especially the older ones. Quil was looking for someone that wanted to take care of him – he's a moocher. Claire reigned that in. Leah has said it before, 'if it wasn't for Claire more than half of the kids born would be Quil's'. Claire keeps the wolf population in check, I guess you could say."
"So imprinting is, is strictly a way of keeping the wolf inside you in check?" Bella asks skeptically as Jacob nods.
"Seth and Embry both are cool, calm and level-headed guys. They have no need for an imprint. Seth has Leah to keep him in check. Embry has always put very high expectations on himself because of his mom. The cubs? Well they have Leah too. They may all still have the choice to fall in love same as normal people and vampires. It's not to say that everyone's love is wrong or false – although I really wish Paul and Rachel's were, but Nessie just isn't right for me. But she'll find her love and it'll be right; it'll feel magical and not be forced."
"Forced?"
"It's suffocating." Jacob admits closing his eyes searching for the right words. "It's restricting. There's no freedom or choice. Did you know I wanted to go to college?" Jacob asks looking up at Bella. His shoulders slump a little to see Bella's surprised expression. "My Mom always talked about it and after she died I promised I would go. Thanks to the imprint – I can't. When you leave, Nessie leaves – meaning I have to leave. I was going to be a business major. Was going to open a garage in La Push. Work on cars all day. Make a living while doing something I love."
"What about a family?"
"Who knows maybe a family will come. My Dad said the imprint could never be broken but, well, that was a lie. They were wrong about that and they maybe wrong about Leah too." Jacob admits with a shrug of his shoulders. "It's time I start living my own life and get off of the sidelines. Can't be on Team Bella forever."
"Nessie loves you." Bella states with a sigh. "She'll miss you."
"I love her too but it's a brotherly or more like an uncle kind of love. Whenever she needs my help I'll come but it's not my place to be anything more." Bella nods her head slowly.
"Well it seems as if you've thought this through." Bella says with a defeated sigh as Jacob nods his head. "So what took so long?"
"Fear." Jacob answers matter-of-factly.
"Fear? Of what? Me?"
"No. Oh, God, no. Of Leah." Jacob admits after laughing. "I'd much rather face a coven of blood-thirsty newborns then face an angry Leah Clearwater. I love her but the bitch can cut anyone and anything to pieces both physically, psychologically and emotionally. But like I said, 'I love her' and even more so for her faults."
"Does she love you?"
"Edward says she does." Jacob says with a frown looking away.
"But?"
"But, it's been a while and, and I think Embry," Jacob growls deeply at the name. "I think Embry is moving in on her."
"Here Jacob." Bella says as she tosses Jacob his phone.
"Sw~eet Bells, thanks." Jacob says catching his phone and immediately flipping it open to see a slew of missed calls and texts.
"I'm sorry too, Jacob." Bella says her voice cracking again.
"Sorry for what?" Jacob asks absently looking at all of the missed numbers. "What the hell?"
"You've been gone for a week." Bella states frowning at Jacob as he starts to read a text message. "And you've been asleep for two days. Emily called a week ago. There were some vampires in Forks." Jacob directs his full attention to Bella with a frown on his face. Jacob barely notices Nessie's presence as she comes through the trees and stands looking between Jacob and Bella. "We tried to find you but we couldn't – you ran too far and somehow we lost your scent. Three days ago your phone started ringing non-stop. Leah was bitten." Jacob feels his blood run cold and the memories of his dream come rushing back.
"She's gone." Jacob repeats out loud his voice heavy with emotion.
"I don't' think so. Everyone else went back immediately. Nessie and I stayed behind to wait for you." Bella explains quickly noticing the distant look in his eyes.
"She's still alive?" Jacob asks his throat now dry and his voice sounding strained.
"Jacob," Nessie whispers.
"I'm gotta go. NOW!" Jacob states and turns to run towards the trees.
"Jacob?" Nessie calls and Jacob stops and turns around his body shaking.
"Yes Nessie?" Jacob asks taking a couple of deep breaths to calm his tremors.
"Are you going to run all the way home?" Nessie asks a small pout on her face. "We can all ride back together." Nessie states smiling brightly at Jacob as she runs up and hugs his legs tightly.
"Well at least ride to the airport and then fly down." Bella adds smiling as she turns around with keys in her hand.
"You're not going to drive slow are ya?" Jacob asks picking Nessie up and following behind Bella.
"No, I'll drive like a Cullen." Bella says as she hops into her Ferrari and Jacob puts Nessie in the backseat and climbs into the passenger seat as Bella starts up the engines and peals off. Taking out his phone he decides to listen to his voicemail messages.
"Jacob? This, this is Emily. I don't think I 'was' supposed to call you but there's a vampire – a coven of vampires near the rez." Jacob feels his stomach lurch. "Cody says there maybe about a half a dozen. Just thought you'd like to know. Okay, bye." Jacob deletes and moves on.
"Jacob, it's Dad. Not sure if the Cullens have told you but some leeches are in the area. They've already killed twice. Leah is really pissed – you really need to at least call. Bye." Jacob continues listening to his messages dreading the news that he knows is coming. He listens to messages from Kim, Rachel, Emily again, his Dad, Sue and even Old Quil. Everyone keeps asking the same question of where he is and eventually the concern is replaced with anger at his lack of response.
"Jacob! It's Leah!" Jacob pales as he hears his Dad's strained voice with other voices in the background mostly arguing and growling. "She's been bitten and, and hurt real bad."
"That fuckin' bitch." Jacob recognizes Embry's voice yelling loudly.
"Why aren't her arms healing?!" Seth asks frantically his voice a few octaves higher than usual.
"You need to come home. Now." Billy orders and hangs up. Jacob skips on to the next message and after Billy's last one all include messages from the imprints all crying with new details about Leah's condition and the state she's in. Every wolf had also called save Leah and Embry. Leah was understandable but Embry? The next day after Leah's attack everyone's patience has worn out with him and everyone, save Emily and Kim, basically cuss him out in voicemail. Tears well up in Jacob's eyes as he flips his phone shut his jaw clenched tight wanting, nothing more, than to lash out at something. He growls threateningly as he sees something pale move towards him out the corner of his eye.
"Jacob we're here." Bella says quickly snatching her hand back. Jacob looks up and sees the car parked outside the airport and he quickly jumps out grabbing his bag. Bella and Nessie follow closely behind as he walks through the revolving door and tries to suppress a growl when he sees the long line for the ticket counter.
"Shit." Jacob spits out unable to hold in his annoyance thus earning a frown from a mother of three standing in front of him.
"Sorry." Bella apologizes sheepishly giving the woman a small wave. Usually Jacob was more careful about his language but right now all he cared about was Leah – who was most likely somewhere swearing like a sailor, or rather he hoped she was. Jacob stands breathing heavily trying to keep his rage in check as the line slowly moves – slowly!! "Jacob you have to stay calm." Bella whispers so lowly that no human can hear.
"Don't I look calm?" Jacob asks as he glares down at Bella his arms crossed tightly across his chest, his face a mask of stern calmness but his eyes betraying the true anger, sadness and fear within him. Bella sighs shaking her head as Jacob snaps at a man on his cell telling him to quote, 'hurry up and take your sorry ass up to the counter'. Bella looks up at her best friend and finds herself at a loss of what to do for him – truth was he always knew how to make her feel better but she never truly learned how to do the same for him. In the past just her presence was enough to calm him down or make him smile but she lost that ability when he imprinted on Nessie. It's obvious to Bella that the 'kid' Jake she knew and loved has long since matured into the man waiting impatiently for his chance to buy a ticket.
"Finally." Jacob whispers as he pushes Bella and Nessie up to the open ticket counter.
"May I help you?" The woman at the counter asks eyeing Jacob strangely.
"Yea, we need a one-way flight to Seattle." Jacob states reaching in his back pocket and taking out his wallet. The woman types away at her computer.
"We have a flight leaving tomorrow evening." The woman states and Jacob's eyes widen and he begins shaking his head.
"No, no, no. That, that won't work. You don't understand I have to get to Seattle – Now!"
"Sir, all other flights are booked." The woman states frowning up at Jacob as he hangs his head and rubs his neck.
"No! They, they can't be." Jacob says with a frown as he feels the hot pain shoot up and down his spine.
"Jacob, please." Bella whispers her hand reaching out for him.
"Don't touch me." Jacob whispers gruffly and turns his attention back to the woman before him.
"Well, sir, I'm sorry but they are." The woman states coldly. Jacob grips the counter tightly, squaring his jaw and eyes the woman carefully. She's in her mid-twenties, black girl with dark brown hair and eyes to match.
"Look, uh, Michelle." Jacob says reading her nametag while trying to remain calm forcing a smile. "Look we just need any flight. A flight to, uh, Oregon? Vancouver? I'll even take Idaho. I just have to get down there now." Michelle rolls her eyes and gives him a tired look. "Okay, look, I'm going to level with you. The woman I love got hurt really bad a couple of days ago. My dumbass was out doing jack shit and I just now learned how bad it maybe. So, Michelle, please? You gotta help me out." Jacob pleads biting his bottom lip.
"The problem is that there are three of you." Michelle points at looking at the three people in front of her. She quickly gives Bella a once over look before turning her attention back to Jacob. Jacob looks down and realizes Michelle's 'problem'. Why should she believe him when there's some woman and a kid standing next to him. Obviously they're not related but really? Now?
"You two don't need to come down right away, right?" Jacob asks looking down at Bella and Nessie desperately. "Because you have one seat available, right?" Jacob asks turning back to look at Michelle and she nods her head.
"Uh, sure we can come down later to see how she's doing." Bella says sounding a little disappointed.
"Awesome! So now what, Michelle?" Jacob asks hopefully as Michelle takes his ID out of his hand and begins typing away.
"Well now I get you on the 6:30pm flight to Seattle. Are you checking in any bags?" Jacob quickly shakes his head. "Good because you've got 40-minutes to get through security and make it to your gate. Lucky for you my shift is over now and I'm getting ready to go on vacation myself to see some friends." Michelle says as she hands Jacob his ticket with a smile.
"Michelle – if I wasn't in love already I'd kiss you." Jacob admits flashing a genuine smile.
"Yea, sure, whatever. Plus, you didn't cuss me out which is a first for impatient travelers. Hope she pulls through." Michelle says as she turns and walks away.
"Man, she wasn't kidding about her shift being over." Jacob adds as he turns to look at Bella and Nessie. "Thanks for this Bells and Nessie." Jacob says smiling down at the mother and daughter before him. "But I really need to go." Jacob says giving each a quick hug and takes off running for security. Bella shakes her head watching Jacob run off knowing that even if she or Nessie did say good bye he wouldn't hear them.
Jacob gets through security and quickly rushes to his gate breathing a sigh of relief as the flight is being boarded and he is the last person to get on. Sitting down in his seat Jacob finds himself relieved to be finally going home and that he's being praying to God to keep Leah. Jacob never was very religious and when he became a wolf what little faith he had went right out the door. 'But God if you are real please pull Lee through this.' Jacob silently prays as he decides to delete all of his text messages – they're all full of hate messages anyway. Jacob feels the plane take off and whatever anxiety he had the first time pails in comparison to the worry he's feeling for Leah's life. Plugging his ears he decides to listen to some music. Leah said it always helped calm her down. The music starts playing and Jacob vaguely recognizes the song:
Growing up - it was tough
We were glad for what little we had
I saw my Sarah on fair Mississippi
Dirt roads and confederate flags
…….
Everyday my father would tell me
Son run and don't never come back
That's where I left my girl
That's where my heart is at - and oh
(The river)
And if she's there when I get there
I'm never gonna leave her again
You see she stole my heart
Down by the river
……………..
I got along - I'm moving on
I bandaged the scars up well
I think of her there
and I'd sit and I wait
For a card or a letter in the mail
I walk the beach
With the sand in my feet
Place my ear up to a shell
I wonder if you miss me too
'Cause I've been longing to get to you
I'm sick of staring out my window sill
I'm tired of hoping she remembers me still
I'm packing my bags
I said I'm going back home
To the place where I belong
So I'm packing up my suitcase
Bought me a one-way fare
I'm leaving everything behind me
But in my heart I'll always care
And I'll still be right there
Thank you baby
'Cause nothing can replace
That part of my life - and ooh
Jacob leans his back listening to the lyrics of the song thinking about the girl he left behind and closes his eyes laughing lightly at the coincidence. 'I say I'm packing my bags. I said I'm going back home to the place where I belong. I'm never gonna leave her again.' Jacob repeats the lyrics but he knows that he's already made this promise to himself. The flight goes smoothly and six hours later the plane touchdowns in Seattle. It takes a helluva lot for Jacob to not just grab his bag and push his way off the plane but he manages to sit and wait calmly. Eventually he makes it off the plane he quickly runs through the terminal trying to keep his speed in check and once outside he heads for the nearest tree line. Removing his clothes, stuffing them in his bag, Jacob Black takes off running in his wolf form pushing his body harder than he ever has. 'Just be alright, baby. Please.' Jacob pleads.
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Alright here goes the update. It took me a while to figure out how I wanted the story to go. I had a really bad, angst ridden chapter for Jacob but figured I'd cut him some slack. I have a lot of theories about how imprinting works and why but this is just 'one' of them. But the song is called 'River' by Noel Gourdin and I just love hearing that song every time. It was great when I was in the middle of a long distance relationship but anyway please always. Be kind, read and review. I love seeing the amount of people who have my story as a fave but also tell me what you think. I mean it'd be nice to break 90 or something. I already have part of the next chapter lined up so spread the word and give me some reviews and then I might just update on Sunday. ^-^