Teaching Respect.
By C S Sinclair.
Chapter Nineteen.
Author's Note: Don't worry - these are new Chapters (so put that pitchfork down!) I just wanted to make sure people understood the timing of this story. Basically, this Chapter and the next take place on the same night as Chapter 18.
Don't worry - it's not complicated. All it means is that this Chapter and the next tell the story of what happens to Fujin to bring her to the Trepies meeting at the end of the last Chapter. So whilst all this is going on, Quistis is talking with Nida, chasing after Jeanette etc as you've already read.
Got it? Excellent - I knew I could count on you! So, without further ado...
'Ahh!!!'
A sudden jolt of pain shot through Fujin's leg, taking it right out from underneath her and causing her to crash heavily to the floor. Briefly stunned, she desperately fought to keep her senses and forced herself up into a seated position against the bed. She had to… oh no…
'Oh my… HELP, HELP!!! LEAVE HER ALONE, YOU…'
As Fujin cursed bitterly to herself, the curtain was wrenched open and the breathless, not to say bedraggled form of Dr Kadowski appeared, clutching a rolled up newspaper like a form of makeshift club. Looking around wildly, her gaze came to rest on Fujin, followed by a frustrated sigh.
'Oh, I don't believe… what are you doing?!' she scolded angrily.
Before Fujin could respond, a further crash behind the doctor caused her to whip round, paper raised in defence. But it was just the bodyguards stationed outside, whose determined expressions quickly changed to ones of bewilderment.
Fujin sank back against the bed, burying her face in the sheets. She was too angry at herself and miserable over the day's events to feel properly humiliated but still…
'We thought… is everything okay, Doctor?' she heard one of the guards ask.
'STUPIDITY OF QUESTION UNBELIEVABLE!' Fujin howled, before Dr Kadowski could respond. 'PRESENCE HERE IS UNWANTED AND UNNECESSARY! SHOULD BE FINDING XU!'
Trying to rise, her leg throbbed with pain and she collapsed back down. All three women moved to help her up, but she swung a backhand fist in their general direction, to ward them off.
'CAN MANAGE!' she snarled, blinking away tears of pain from eyes that were already bloodshot from a seemingly endless day of abject despair.
'Er… I think we're okay here' Dr Kadowski said, turning to the two guards. 'If you'd please retake your positions, outside. I'm sorry… well, we're all on edge…'
'Of course, Miss' they both replied and retreated from the room.
Returning her attention to her, Dr Kadowski shook her head slightly in exasperation. Her glasses were slightly askew on her face and her hair and lab coat were a mess on one side. She must have been asleep in the chair.
Fujin realised bitterly that she could have got by her quite easily, if she'd just been more careful…
Forcing herself to ignore both this and the older woman's reproving gaze, she merely stared back icily, warning her not to try and touch her again. Now if she could just get up… ow!
'This…' said the doctor, moving over to the wall, '…is your crutch.'
She held it out, but Fujin stubbornly refused to accept it, trying to lever herself up by gripping the bedclothes in bunches… OW!!
'Will you just take it, at least to get back onto the bed?!' Kadowski exclaimed in a flustered voice. 'You're going to re-open that wound before it heals!'
Clutching at the leg, Fujin rubbed it softly as if trying to encourage it not to do that. She had places to go – she couldn't afford to be injured like this. Xu needed her now!
Without looking up, she snatched the proffered crutch and bracing herself between it and the bed, started to rise very slowly and painfully until…
'There you go!' said the older woman happily, coming over towards her.
'CAN MANAGE!' Fujin insisted, waving her away, irritably.
'Yes, I can see that' she replied with a sigh. 'Walking around against Doctor's orders and not even using your crutch…'
'COULD NOT REACH!' Fujin countered angrily. 'PLACED AGAINST FAR WALL – STUPIDITY!'
'It was put there to prevent you trying something like this!' the doctor answered, bristling slightly and adjusting her spectacles in a 'Doctor knows best' kind of way.
'You think I like seeing you fall on your face?' she continued in a stern voice, but which seemed shot through with the kindness she was known for. 'You are not supposed to be putting weight on that leg, you silly child!'
'AM NOT CHILD!' Fujin shouted, banging the crutch on the floor to reinforce the point.
'Well you're doing a fine impression of one!' Kadowski tutted. 'Now enough of this; you'll take those outdoor things off and… what are you doing?!'
Trying to rise again with the aid of her crutch, Fujin felt an even sharper pain than before and fell backwards. Crying with frustrated rage, she threw the useless crutch aside, gripping hold of the sheets so tight they threatened to rip as the pain took its time to subside.
'Why are you doing this to yourself?!' she heard the doctor exclaim as she hovered close by. 'You have to rest or you'll never be well enough to find Miss Xu…'
'GET OUT!' Fujin shrieked, causing the older woman to flinch in shock. 'NOT WANTED HERE – GET OUT!'
She pointed viciously to the door, staring murderously at her warden. The older woman merely straightened up and crossed her arms.
'You know that's not going to happen, so forget it' she replied coolly. 'We had a deal, remember? You get out of the infirmary to sleep in Miss Xu's bed…'
'BED IS MINE TOO!' Fujin shouted, slamming her palms on the mattress. This was their place – hers and Xu's. No-one would drive them out of it, no matter what!
'Be that as it may, the deal was that you need medical supervision whilst you recover' continued Dr Kadowski unfazed. 'So I'm going to be in that chair for the night, no matter how much you stare at me!'
'ARE NOT WANTED!' Fujin howled again. 'WILL… WILL STRIKE!' she shouted, before faltering.
'Jin! Stop that – she's just trying to help!'
She had just had an image of Xu standing nearby with her hands on her hips, a look of shocked disappointment on her face. She didn't… She hadn't meant…
Turning to apologise however, she saw Dr Kadowski had adopted a stern, rigid posture.
'You will do nothing of the sort and if you do, you'll know about it!' she lectured severely, rolling up her sleeves. 'Now you've had a terrible experience today, so we'll let it go. But any more of that talk and this old gal will come over there and box your ears for you, my girl!"
Cowed somewhat at this and still feeling immensely guilty and worried over what Xu would say when she found out how she'd misbehaved, her head drooped.
'Not your girl...' she mumbled miserably. 'Am Xu's… want Xu…'
'It's been a long day' the older woman continued, though more kindly now. 'Take those things off and get back in that bed and I don't want to hear another word, alright?'
Unable to find the strength to answer back or even look at her, Fujin nodded wearily and slowly started to take her jacket and shirt off.
Dr Kadowski flitted about, transferring the clothes back to the closet, averting her eyes as Fujin changed slowly back into her night things. At least she was being allowed to do this on her own, she thought to herself.
Finally, she managed to ease herself into the bed, feeling somewhat relieved as the soft familiar sheets closed around her, full of the scent and memories of Xu.
'Right, that's everything' Dr Kadowski declared finally, closing the cupboard door.
Bending down, she retrieved the crutch and placed it against the bedside table, within easy reach of Fujin.
'I'll put it here for you, but you call if you need to go anywhere, alright? No doing it on your own!' she warned, to which Fujin nodded slightly, without looking up.
Sighing, the older woman turned to head back into the main room, but paused at the curtain.
'Are you sure I can't ask any of your friends to come up and sit with you?' she asked softly. 'You need some company – Curative magic responds well to it.'
Fujin was sure that she was just making that up.
'I could ask Raijin or Jeanette; I'm sure they'd be happy to sit with you tonight and then you could all decide what you wanted to do tomorrow, when you're rested and feeling better.'
Fujin shook her head stubbornly.
'I know… look, I'm sure they understand' she pressed, undeterred. 'You were hurt and after what happened, no-one blames you for…'
'MEANT WHAT I SAID!' Fujin interrupted, staring at the ceiling, trying not to think too much about it. 'HINDERANCES – BETTER OFF WITHOUT!'
'Oh come on, you don't mean that!' she replied lightly. 'You've known Raijin forever. Surely…'
'NOT WELCOME!' Fujin insisted, wincing slightly as she remembered Raijin's face earlier as she'd ordered him out. But she could have reached Xu, saved her. He shouldn't have held her back!
'Well, what about Jeanette or Headmistress Trepe perhaps?
Fujin sat bolt upright at this, not even flinching as her leg throbbed in objection.
'QUISTIS TREPE NOT HEADMISTRESS!' she declared with outrage. 'XU IS HEADMISTRESS – XU!'
Dr Kadowski's head dropped and she nodded: 'You're right, I'm sorry, but…'
'APPOINTMENT IS A DISGRACE!' Fujin continued, indignation coursing through her body, exactly as it had when she'd told Quistis to her face. 'NEGLIGENT ATTITUDE RESPONSIBLE FOR XU'S KIDNAP!'
Stepping forwards, Dr Kadowski shook her head, frowning deeply: 'Now that's enough! This is not Miss Trepe's fault at all and we all have to pull together, so…'
'MUST TAKE RESPONSIBILITY – TREPIES WERE TO BLAME!' Fujin insisted.
'That's not how we do things here!' her opponent shot back, seeming to rein herself in. Fujin was sure she had intended to add 'as you well know'.
'The Trepies are harmless, and you know that as well as anyone' she said instead, amending her words. 'Is Jeanette dangerous too, or Marci? Are they threats to the school?
Fujin looked away angrily, unable to respond. It was… she had to blame someone! And she refused to blame herself, not out of pride, but because she and Xu belonged together. They did! They were the victims here!
'EXCEPTIONS…' she offered, weakly.
'The only exception was that poor boy, Lento' the older woman replied.
'POOR… HOW CAN YOU SAY THIS?!' Fujin spluttered.
Surely he was the one person that everyone could agree was to blame? He'd aided the attackers, given them access… He'd gotten exactly what he deserved!
'I told you that's not how we do things here' Dr Kadowski insisted. 'He was a troubled boy, yes; but he needed our help. And we let him down…'
'ARE DOCTOR! SHOULD HAVE SEEN…'
Fujin's hand shot up over her mouth, as Dr Kadowski stiffened and rocked back against the curtain as if physically struck. She couldn't believe she'd just… Xu would die of shame, if she were here!
'AM… AM SO SORRY!' she stammered, trying to rise.
Responding to this, the older woman bustled forward and shrugging off her attempts to apologise, pulled out her pillow, fluffed it up and bade her settle back.
'It's okay; you're perfectly right' she said, speaking in a deliberate and sorrowful voice. 'I didn't see how bad his infatuation with Miss Trepe had gotten… and now he'd dead. I let him down, but that's not going to happen with you.'
She looked down at Fujin with a sad, but kindly gaze.
'We're a family here, as clichéd as it sounds' she said in a soft tone. 'If you take the time to look behind you, you'll see we're all here for you… even if you don't want us! Now get some rest – doctor's orders!'
And with that, she tapped a good-night kiss on Fujin's forehead, turned out the lamp and headed back into the main room, closing the curtain behind her.
Dumbfounded and filled with confusing feelings of warm belonging and disgrace at her conduct, Fujin could only flop her head back onto the pillow.
She'd been so angry and frustrated with her injury and the need to lash out at someone; she'd tried to convince herself that she alone had to help Xu. But if she did that, she'd be throwing away what her lover had been trying to teach her – that she was a true part of this Garden now.
Below the sheets, she searched for and found the toy rabbit and mouse that also slept here, clutching them to her for comfort. Pulling them out from under the sheets, she examined them in the moonlight - a full moon outside was casting an eerie white light over the room. It was beautiful, but terribly sad at the same time.
The expressions on the toys' faces were equally hard to read. Sad because they missed Xu, but happy because they had Fujin to look after them, she hoped. They knew they were home, despite this tragedy. This really was home… maybe she wouldn't have to do this alone, after all.
And she couldn't go back to how she'd lived her life before, so lonely and angry and miserable. Not now she knew what was right… Xu.
She felt guilty beyond words to be thinking of her feelings of loss at all. But she couldn't bear to think of what may have happened to Xu. She just knew she had to save her and bring her home.
She tried to assure herself that whatever else they were, Biggs and Wedge were essentially decent, honourable people, from her experience of them. She didn't know what had compelled them to take this action, but she had to believe they wouldn't allow Xu to be mistreated.
There was also the fact that Xu was so bright and strong - if they thought she was some helpless princess, then her lover would certainly show them! She bit back a sob, thinking of all the times she had simply stood and marvelled at how Xu handled everything with such ease... and had handled her with such tender care.
No, Xu had to be alright - she'd just know if something awful had happened or was happening to her, she decided.
Tears stinging at her eyes again, she remembered that moment, their hands reaching for each other and almost touching, before her lover was torn away from her. How could people stand it when…
No, she would not think this way – she would not! She was going to get Xu back!
Too tired to think of anything except her missing lover, she rubbed her face softly against the pillows, breathing in Xu's recent presence and remembering that wonderful night when they were one in this bed, belonging only to each other.
She thought of her partner's face filled with love for her, whispering softly to her as she lay right here, able to do nothing but revel incredulously at how much she was wanted and adored. She thought of the touch of her lover's skin against hers and her hair tickling her back as they lay serenely together.
How they kissed endlessly, wrapped about other with such consuming passion, how her partner stroked and kissed her hair softly, when she thought she was asleep… as she drowned blissfully in desire and rapture to belong to someone like Xu.
Hot tears flowed again, soaking the pillow, as her thoughts became more and more vivid, like she could actually feel her, holding and protecting her. In the light, Xu had seemed exactly as angelic as Fujin had always pictured her; she who had come and plucked her from the darkness and into the light…
The moon's pure white light had shone on them as tonight, pulsing and expanding outside until all was white, with the sound of the wind blowing outside… outside their home… come home Xu… come back to me, please… through the wind and the white sky… come back to me… I need you… fly back to me through the sky… the white sky…
Overhead, the sky was a sombre whitish grey, seeming to soar forever beyond the cliff face ahead of her. As she walked slowly towards it, forcing herself forward through ever increasing gusts of wind, she could hear a voice calling… faintly, but it was there.
'Jin!'
Xu! She was out there, beyond the cliff and she was calling for her!
Breaking into a run, she sped towards the cliff, but was forced back at a great gale of wind. Wind so strong you could see it roiling in the air, gusting and crashing. And behind this wall of tempestuous air, a majestic shadow loomed.
Its bizarre shape was unmistakable, with its giant crest and protruding beak. Its muscular frame wrapped about with its freakish sac-like appendage, hooking to great pipes at its shoulder. It was neither beautiful nor hideous… it was simply 'Other'.
For a long time, it was the only being she had felt, truly understood her…
'You have returned; my favourite daughter' boomed the strangely formed air giant, its voice seeming to fill the air, like it was the air.
To most, it would seem incomprehensible snatches of sound on the wind, or misheard garbling whose meaning had been lost in the tumult. But she understood perfectly, instantly detecting the rare threads of logic in its chaotic, alien mind.
'You return, but you have not done as we agreed. I can help you, but you must forsake those who will only hurt you and gather me to you once again.'
The image seemed to dance and wheel behind the raging wall as it spoke. Desperately trying to retain her focus, Fujin struggled to remain upright on the grassy cliff-top, straining to hear Xu's voice. She was out there, trapped alone in all this chaos; she needed her to come and rescue her!
'Know you my powers – this wind will be as nothing to us. Gather me back unto you, like we were in those fondest days past' the shadowy apparition coaxed, with a voice that hinted at the power she knew it possessed.
'Only then can I speed you to your princess and rejoice at my daughter's happiness once more!' it explained.
That was right, she recalled holding her hand to shield her eyes, as she stared out at the presence waiting in the maelstrom whirling and seething before her.
It had wanted her to junction it again. That's where she'd been going… to gain the greater powers such a reunion would give her… to junction Lord Pandemona!