The Side Effects of Unoriginality

Author's Note: I do not own FFX-2. I simply own the plot and grammatical errors.

It's Monday, which means another update! Yay! But, before we get to that, I'd like to thank all of my reviewers! It's because of you that I keep writing and with your encouraging words, I shall keep writing. I promise.

Now, on with the story!

Chapter 7: Till Death Do Us Part

The wedding was in less than a week and I had more butterflies lurching in my stomach than the Farplane had pyreflies. To say that I was nervous would be an understatement. To say that I was prepared for this was a poor choice in words. To say that I was the happiest person in all of Spira—well, actually, that was about on par. I don't even think Yuna could beat me in that contest, even though it was her wedding. I realized how alike we were just then and I cursed our similar blood. We were happy to share in other people's joy; that gave us joy.

Yuna decided to have her wedding in Luca, where all of her friends could come. Naturally, Cid decided to park the Celsius just hovering above the place and had shoved every willing—and even a few unwilling—person aboard to attend the ceremony. Trust me, I have no idea where we managed to shove the two or three extra dozen people we had—not to mention the rest of us who were there first—but we managed. Somehow. We'd been sitting above Luca for three days, waiting for the last two days to elapse…waiting for Yuna's wedding.

"Oh! I'm so nervous," Yuna squealed beside me, her body tense with excitement. I could tell how happy she was beneath the layer of cold feet. "I've never done anything this big before!"

"Said the girl who saved the world twice," said Paine sarcastically from her corner beside the bed. We'd taken to sharing one room together; my room, as it was. "Relax, Yuna. It's not like anyone's asking you to defeat Vegnagun and Sin at the same time. All anyone's asking you to do is tell the man you love how much you love him."

"In front of a crowd of people," I added, unable to control myself. She instantly paled, then burst in the bloom, as it was the brightest shade of red I'd ever seen. "Oh, but relax, Yunie. Paine is right—it's nothing major. You know how much you love Tidus—I think we all do. How hard is it to tell the rest of the world that? Not like it matters what they say," I said offhandedly.

"You're right!" Yuna said, her confidence returning at once. "I can do this!"

"That's the spirit, Yunie!" I cried, jumping around the room enthusiastically. I received a very Paine-like grunt of disproval, but I paid her no mind, continuing about in the same way that I had been before. "This is going to be the bestest wedding in all of Spira!"

Yuna laughed with me and even Paine spared something that looked like light amusement. We were comfortable in one another's company finally. After the day's work—getting things ready and all that other matrimonial junk—we wound down after a good meal. We found our weary, tired feet dragging us back to the room we'd come to share. We tossed pillows and blankets into the middle of the floor, like usual, and made ourselves a comfortable bed. We lounged there, clad in naught by our pajamas and happy faces. The three of us lay together in that room, going over things that we knew would happen.

Wakka was always a Romantic at heart; he wouldn't be able to stop blubbering. Lulu, mother of his child and loving wife, would be there to keep him in check. She'd remind him that "his little Yuna" wasn't so little anymore. Of course, he was Tidus's best man, so it might prove to be harder for her to console him from the other side of the altar, Yuna's matron of honor, as it were.

Paine speculated that Cid would burst into tears after walking her down the aisle and handing her over to Tidus. With him being her uncle and all—not to mention the only real father-figure she had left in her life—he'd definitely get choked up. I had to agree with her there; Cid was a good actor, but anyone who knew him knew how emotional "his girls" made him. Yuna going off and getting married would string a tender nerve.

"But Rosemary will be there to save him," I admitted, bouncing on my knees as I sat there with them, a wide smile coming to my face as I thought of the lovely Al Bhed woman. "He'll try to tough it out for her at first."

"But he can't can he?" Yuna wondered thoughtfully.

"Nope!" I cheered.

"Like father like daughter," Paine mumbled under her breath, though I didn't get the gist of her comment. She later added, "Neither one of you seems to be able to hold in your emotions. You wear them on your sleeves."

"Stop being such a meanie!" I retorted, shaking my fist at her. She scoffed, rolling her eyes at my obviously empty threat. That's one way to get rid of all the hot air in a balloon.

We laughed on and on like this, thinking of some of the wackiest things that could go wrong—from shoopuffs coming in and wrecking everything to Leblanc trying to sing. At that last one, we all shared a collective shudder; have you heard her sing? No? I didn't think so. So I'll tell you. She sounds like a fast-paced tempo that got slaughtered in the middle by something hard and sandy. It was gritty and watery and bubbly and unwelcomingly loud. In short—she sucked on ice.

Caught up in all of our laughter, I didn't recognize the fading feel of light happiness to the heavy feel of serious undertones. It didn't dawn on me until Yuna had taken on the strange and awkward pose, her knees pressed to her chest and her face contorted in some cross between thinking and reasoning. She always looked so helpless like that; it made me want to reach out and hold her. When she suddenly peered up at me and caught me staring at her, I couldn't hide the blush; I couldn't pretend like I hadn't been looking at her when I so clearly had been gawking.

"Rikku," she said thoughtfully, peering at me with her mismatched eyes, freezing me to my seat. She chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully—another bad habit she'd picked up from hanging out with me too long. I peered up at her with unsure eyes, my mouth twitching into a nervous, very Rikku-ish smile.

"Y-Yes?" I asked, trying not to sound so on edge as I actually was.

"Rikku…have you ever been in love before?" she asked. "Like, have you ever wanted to settle down and commit to one person? Have you ever wanted to just be with one person—with any one person in the whole world? Is there someone that you…that you love?"

It wasn't something I was expecting, so I had to fight the urge to scream at her for the absurdity. Once I'd reined in control over my emotions, I mulled over her question just as thoughtfully as she'd asked me. Sitting back on my haunches, I could only think of one person that would match a similar description. I shook my head, thinking stupidly to myself. He was an awful choice—love and him didn't belong in the same thought, let alone the same world. He just didn't seem the type.

"I doubt it," I answered honestly, glancing back over at her, just in time to see the doubt that lingered in her eyes. "What? What are you looking at me like that for, Yunie?" I demanded.

I gawked at her warily, her piercing eyes putting me on the defensive. The way she looked at me as I sat there reminded me much of how Paine tended to regard me whenever I said any more than a word. It was like she was measuring my validity against my body posture. It was then that I realized that she'd been spending way too much time with Paine, especially if she could effectively use that gaze against me.

First objective on my list of things to do… I thought mentally.

"She's lying," said Paine simply, not even bothering to gaze at me.

"Rikku, I knew it!" Yuna accused. She pointed her finger at me and I blushed. But she added something that was even more embarrassing than being caught in a lie by my naïve cousin, of all people. She said something that was even more accusing than the first. "You love Gippal!"

"Love is such a strong word…" I tried nervously, wringing my hands together. "He's just my friend, honestly!"

I didn't know when the conversation had changed from happy and light to serious and dark. I didn't know when the conversation changed from talking about Yuna's wedding to my personal love affairs—or lack thereof, as I would remind anyone who dared think of what Yuna had just said. I didn't know when the conversation had unwittingly—or wittingly for all I knew—shed light on something so vitally secret that I'd hidden it from myself. I didn't know when the conversation had gone from being friendly and preserving to obtrusive and belligerent, poking its unwanted nose into my business, into my heart. I didn't know any of that. I didn't care to know.

What I did know, however, was how badly I wanted to reverse this train of thought. I wanted to make it all go away so that I wouldn't have to deal with any of it. Couldn't I get a break from all the emotional trauma for just five frikken minutes? Hadn't I suffered enough in one year to absolve me from everything else? Hadn't I gone through enough? The answer to that was obvious. Apparently I hadn't. Real shocker there. The world still didn't think my debt was paid—whatever debt that might have been, since I don't remember taking a loan from the world intentionally. I hadn't even made any wild promises when on the brink of death—not a single emergency 'If you save me from this I swear I'll never…'

None of that had happened, yet I was still suffering. I didn't get that part at all. I didn't get why I had to be the one suffering. Why was it always me?

I couldn't stay on this path for too much longer. I'd somehow managed to forget that I was in the same room was my nosey friends, who'd concluded from my silence the validity in Yuna's accusation. It wasn't true, of course, I'd tell them so blasé. I'd tell them how wrong they were. Of course, that all depended on how well I could manage to lie to them—with a straight face and all that.

"You guys are insane," I breathed shakily. Well, there goes that perfect lie.

"Oh my god, Rikku! You really do love Gippal!" my cousin exclaimed, her eyes wide with what I would call something akin to acknowledged understanding. All she had needed was the truth, from my lips. Now that she had it, she could do nothing but nod slowly, understanding. "Wow. Paine wasn't lying…"

"Paine?" I gawked, throwing her a nasty, curiously defiant gaze. "When'd you—?"

"He told me about you," she said simply.

"Oh."

I'd nearly forgotten that they'd been apart of the Crimson Squad together. Still, I didn't think that he'd waste his completely ambiguous past to bring up me in conversation. Wasn't his goal in life to have as many "admiring" fans as possible? Last time I checked, talking about some other girl while in the presence of another was kinda…deconstructive? What was he thinking?

I've been saying that about him a lot, I mused to myself with a rare smile, one he tended to elicit out of me after a long bout of teasing amongst us. I found that thinking about him had the same affect, and I guess I wasn't the only one who noticed this. Paine smiled wryly, her eyes trailing over me before she and Yuna shared an acknowledged grin.

"It's not like that!" I shrieked quickly, but the damage had already been done. My blush—damn you red cheeks!—had done me in, as had my glossed-over eyes. That didn't mean, nor should it ever suggest that I was going to give up just like that. Could you imagine the state that would leave me dignity and pride in? "He and I are just friends, Yunie! We used to live close to one another, that's all. I don't like him like that! Eugh! We're just friends!"

"I've learned something, being a fighter." I turned to stare at Paine, her eyes thoughtful and light, a first for her. "There are many things in this world that you must fight for—yourself, your home, your pride, your friends and family—those are all weak and fragile things," she said, turning to me in particular. "However, there is one thing in this world that is strong enough to fight on its own. It doesn't need to be protected. In fact, it's quite the other way around. We are protected by it."

Imagining that Paine needed protection didn't ease the bubble that had sunk down into my stomach and settled itself there. In fact, it only proved to agitate the jittery thing. I say thing because I'm not sure what to call it. It's a "thing." Staring at her face, I saw lines etched there that hadn't been in place moments ago; her knowledge made her older. No—it made her wiser to the rest of us and the world acknowledged that.

"What…is it that protects us?" I asked, knowing the moment I said it that I wanted to take it all back.

"The truth," she said simply. "If your words were the truth, then you wouldn't need to fight so strongly for it."

I knew I shouldn't have asked her. Damn my curiosity—it always gets me into trouble. Now I was left to face Yuna and Paine's faces—knowing that I'd crumble under the pressure. Again I found myself wondering when we changed from talking about Yuna and Tidus's happily-ever-after to my happily-ever-never. Grumbling would do me no good, but the truth? Was I really ready to put that out into the world? Was I really ready for that truth to be accepted by the world? I hardly doubted it.

I shook my head to rid myself of the thought, but there he was, smiling like an idiot in my head as usual. He was always smiling. I don't think much ever got to him—nothing in the world made Gippal change. He was always just Gippal. Unchanging, unaltered. He was the same person that I'd known when we were children. He was the same person that I'd met in Djose. He was Gippal—leader of the Machine Faction—but Gippal all the same. That was the Gippal I…

"Is it true?" Yuna asked impatiently, pulling me from my grim stupor. "Rikku?"

"Love is such a strong word…" I tried again, failing the moment the words slipped from my mouth. I knew that I'd lost the battle. Yuna's elated squeal was my decisive action gong. It was over.

"Oh, RIKKU!" she squealed, flinging herself from her side of the room into me. I fell back from the sudden impact, crushed under my cousin's weight, though that wasn't what bothered me. The way she cried my name—it sounded like she pitied me. I didn't want that, but I guess, in some ways, I deserved as much.

Do you think I wanted to have feelings for him? Eugh, I say again, eugh!

"Is that why you two were kissing the other day?" Paine asked casually, brining back to mind that terribly wonderful thing that had transpired—completely by accident—the other day near Cid's tent. I shuddered. "Maybe you're progressing faster than I—"

"NO!" I said firmly from underneath my cradling cousin, who I pushed aside gently. "I haven't progressed—," I used her word, though the thought made me shake, "—anywhere with him. That was an accident! I just turned funny in his arms, that's all. He didn't mean to kiss me."

"But he did kiss you back, didn't he?" said Paine, like she already knew the answer. When I gave it some thought, however, I slumped with realization. She was right. Oh joy. "He kissed you back and you're just now realizing this? You're a lot denser than I thought you were. My god…this is going to take some time."

"What's going to take some time?"

"Well, don't you want to tell him how you feel?" asked Yuna, peering at me with her brows pushed together in a worried crease. I shrugged, blatantly acting nonchalant. That was the last thing I wanted to do in this lifetime or the next. "Oh, but Rikku—you have to tell him! He has a right to know—"

"I doubt it," I grumbled, immediately pouting at the thought of what he had the right to know. "He doesn't deserve anything from me," I added on stubbornly.

"Rikku…"

"No, she's right, Yuna. Why give him a freebie? He should have to work for it, shouldn't he?" said Paine and I immediately didn't like the tone in her voice. Of course, I didn't get a chance to challenge her on it; someone knocked.

"I'll get it," I said, forgetting the entire gist of our conversation, like the violent knocking was strong enough to snap my concentration. It might have been, actually. I pulled the door open and stared—no, gawked is more the appropriate word here—at the person on the other side.

"Speak of the devil," said Paine, who obviously hadn't forgotten our conversation.

"Hello, Gippal," said Yuna politely, giving me a knowing glance before she tugged Paine and herself out of the room, leaving us there. Alone. Together. Great.

"You girls are up a little late, aren't you?" he said, stepping into our habitat of blankets and pillows tossed hazardously all over the place. He smiled at my discomfort, crossing his arms over his chest. "So what's up, Cid's girl?"

"I have a name!" I stammered, stomping my foot to close the distance between us some. "Besides," I said, crossing my arms over my chest the same way that he did, "you came and knocked on my door. So what's up with you, machina man?" Oh, I know that one had to get him. Of course, it didn't.

"Nothing much," he said, leaning against the door, still peering at me from his one good eye. "I guess I was just missing my favorite girl…"

"Yeah, right," I said, rolling my eyes. I made to move away from him, so that I could yell at him and kick him out from the other side of the room, the safer side of the room. He must have known that was coming; he snagged my arm and pulled me roughly against his body. "Gippal! What are you—?"

"We need to talk," he said, my arm still held tightly in his hand.

"Sure, if you don't break my arm off," I said, all but putty in his hands. He really was quite the charmer. But he let me go and after I checked that everything was still in tact, I turned back to smile toothily at him. "So where to, machina man?"

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Gippal and I stood outside, just a few yards away from the loading dock of the Celsius, just the two of us together. Surprisingly, when the sun sets, the heat immediately disappears. It's still hot, sometimes, but it's much more bearable. The only reason we don't dig at night is because the increased amount of fiends. But they mind us and we mind them.

He and I walked for a long while, lulled into a false sense of comfort by the murmuring wind. It didn't feel right to break apart the serenity, so we were both silent. We walked in unison, not speaking, just listening. It was nothing supernatural, but it felt that way. It was a strange sense of awe that kept me silent. I'd learned how mysterious the world had become and I'd come to understand the need for silence and secrecy, occasionally. Sometimes, you needed to see something in order to believe it. This was one of those moments.

When he stopped, I didn't mind. I stopped several paces behind him, my fingers clutching to one another for support at my stomach. It was hard not to fidget in such a strange sensation. It wasn't Gippal or the desert. More or less, it was the two of them interacting together, like it had somehow set my senses ablaze. We were both Al Bhed, but he'd always seemed different to me, different from everyone else. He and I were alone in that world of differences and we had reveled in that. But time had changed and I wondered…had he changed too?

"Something's on your mind?" I said, staring at his back, my brow creased.

At first, he didn't say anything at all. He was completely silent, completely still. It was almost like the wind had heard his silent cry; it stopped murmuring and closed itself around us. The world was blocked out and the only feeling was the growing intensity. It had become too much to bear, but it wasn't intolerable. Just bothersome.

"Gippal? What's wrong?" I tried again, worry washing over my features.

"I'm your friend, aren't I?" he asked, something coating the calmness in his voice, something I wouldn't like later on.

"Of course you are," I said, suddenly very confused. I dared another step closer to him, and this caught his attention. He regarded me briefly and then turned back to the sand. "What's this all about, Gippal? What's wrong?"

"Cid told me what happened between you three," he said.

It took a moment for his words to sink in. It took a while for the gravity to pull me back down into reality, where I settled and mulled it over. When recognition dawned, I was hurt. I took a step back, my face and hands suddenly stinging painfully at his undertone accusation. I shook my head to rid the feeling, but it only lingered, wrapping itself around me. I stood up straight and wished I hadn't. I felt aloof, my feet no longer touching the ground, though I was firmly planted. Gravity grabbed me and let me go and left me to float, as guilt often made you do, into the air…gone with my sickness.

"Gippal?"

"I'm your friend…but you hid here," he said painfully. "You hid from them and me and the rest of the world, Rikku. I'm your friend…but you hid here. You didn't come to me with any of your problems. Isn't that what friends are for?" he said, resentment rising and falling.

"You act like it was easy for me to have the world pulled out from beneath me!" I shouted at him, my tiny hands quivering at my sides. "You act like I knew what I was doing, waiting for them every single day! I waited for them because I thought they'd remember me eventually. Yes, you're my friend—but they're my friends too, you know! And you saw me…you saw what it had done to me. You saw what friendship did to me. Did you expect me to put my faith in another friend?"

"Rikku…"

I turned my face up to him, nevermind the tears streaming my face. I was unashamed of my pain. It was mine, after all, why should I be ashamed to have it? I'd suffered through it and I'd won myself over. It hadn't beaten me…that time.

"I wish you would have said something to me," he said slowly, contemplating. "I wish you could have told me. I would have come to your rescue—"

"I'm still your princess?" I asked, unable to stop myself.

"I'm still your prince," he said affirmatively. "And your best friend. I'd come and help you out no matter what. I could have helped…or at least, I would have tried to. No one deserves that, Rikku—especially you. I understand what they were trying to do…but there were better ways for it. There has to be more than one way to skin a coeurl."

"They did what they thought was best for me," I said slowly, wrapping my arms around my barely-covered body. I had to admit, walking outside in a short-sleeved shirt wasn't the brightest idea I've ever had…

"What was best for you," he echoed hollowly. He stared down at me for a long moment, not entirely convinced. I didn't blame him, of course. It was a hard thing to swallow. "That does not give them an excuse," he said dryly. Looking at me, he added with a sigh, "Then again, this is you we're talking about."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I said in my Rikku-ish laughter.

"You never could hold a grudge," he said, smiling now, finally. I relaxed a bit and I'm thinking he noticed. He wrapped me in his arms, his strong, masculine scent filling my nose. It wasn't so bad. "I was worried about you, Rikku. I hadn't seen you for two years…again. I thought maybe that was it."

"What was it?" I asked, my hands pressed against his chest. I stared at him, strange emotions and feelings lingering where they shouldn't have been. It made me antsy.

"I thought I'd never see you," he said, brushing aside a rebel braid. "I thought I lost you."

I wasn't the type to get choked up, but the intensity of his words made me shake, made me tremble. I buried my face into his chest and heaved a great sigh. He had every right to think such horrible things. I'd thought them myself and I wondered if I'd ever resurface again. I'd been buried under so much that it had been my only survival instinct—breathe. It was all I could do, all I'd been able to do. And now here he was, giving my mouth-to-mouth. He'd come to save me…

"Gippal, you're such an idiot…" I whispered slowly, trying to keep my voice steady. I patted his chest softly, shaking my head into him. "I didn't want you involved. I didn't want you to see me like that…. It was awful for me to look at myself every single day. I hated knowing what I was doing to myself…to those people I cared about. I couldn't shield Cid and everyone here but…I could protect you from having to see me…like this."

"You wanted…to protect me?"

"Isn't that what I've been doing my whole life?" I said, staring up at him with a hint of a soft smile. "You're a menace to society left unattended, machina man."

"And you're not, Cid's girl?" he asked, quirking a brow at me playfully.

"I saved the world twice, I'll have you know," I said matter-of-factly, though it was harder than I though to attempt hiding the laughter in my voice.

"Said the girl who had to camp out in the Thunder Plains for a week," he mumbled, ruffling my hair again, still just as playfully.

And just like that, the tension was gone.

We stood together, our bodies pressed. My cheek was against his chest and I listened to the fluttering motion of his heart, lulled into serenity by it. He watched me, I knew, a smile now tugging at the corners of his full mouth, a mouth I'd kissed plenty of times in "accidental" coincidences and collisions. Sometimes, I think he would plan them, just to see my reaction. But it would backfire on him and we'd end up in a messy tangle of arms, legs and lips. He was wonderful fun, though, so I never would mind. The other day was no different.

I strummed my fingers against his chest after a while as he rocked us. We swayed from one side to the other, though I hardly noticed the gentle motion; it was so peaceful outside that nothing seemed to bother my thick noggin. He laughed at the lightness of my fingers and his suddenly sound made me jump, though he held me firmly against him. I was enjoying myself against his chest, listening to ever oddity his chest made. I wanted to absorb all of sounds and keep them locked inside of my head forever.

Gippal and I had this strange understanding. Maybe it was an Al Bhed thing. Maybe it was a Gippal and Rikku thing. Either way, I wasn't sure. It was a thing, a piece of beauty some might say. Whatever he and I said, it was suddenly there, having crafted itself from the thickness of our relationship, strung together like cloth from the absurdity of reality. One day we couldn't stand one another, the next we were inseparable friends. We were friends; that was what I'd say held the most gravity in the world. A bond had been made.

The same held true here; he was there with me, holding me through this difficulty that I was having, understanding how the world seemed to move. It wasn't subconscious, almost like a second nature to either of us. He was angry because I had left him out and hidden from him my pain. He wanted to be the one to fix it and I'd denied him that. I didn't blame him for that feeling. I'd have felt the same and I know it, probably better than he did.

"Do you ever think it was something else?" he asked, playing in my hair casually, though his good eye was glued to my face, waiting for a tangible reaction.

"What do you mean?" I asked, staring back at him.

"Do you ever think it wasn't your friends that caused the terrible pain you've been feeling?" he asked me slowly, his hand trailing from my hair to rest on my cheek. "Ever think it was maybe something else causing you to feel so…alone?"

That's when I forgot how to breathe.

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Yuna's wedding was absolutely wonderful. Their vows were perfect. Their kiss was perfect. Of course, now that it was over, we could all laugh about it. Waking up with that weight on one's shoulders was nothing to laugh about. But it was over now and everything had gone as close to planning as we could ever hope for. Wakka cried. Cid cried. Kimahri cried. Hell, I was even close to shedding a few myself. Yuna was so gorgeous that I had to. Tidus was pretty spiffy, too, but no one ever cares about the groom.

After the ceremony, we all got shipped back to Besaid, where Yuna wanted to have her reception. It was her home, after all. Why shouldn't she have it there with all of her friends and family? That's where we were now; in the middle of the biggest celebration since the last two times we saved the world.

Besaid was decked out in some of the brightest lights, all of them wrung around the trees and bushes to give the beach a homey, welcoming party feel. It worked, and I'm not entirely sure how. Lulu, Yuna's matron of honor, had spent the entire day before preparing for the reception while I prepared Yuna for the emotional levels that come with a wedding. I think Lulu had it harder, especially dealing with Vindina and Wakka. But she managed.

I've never seen the island look so alive. Everything was decorated and splashed with bright, friendly colors, colors I didn't think Lulu could understand. But she was feeling generous, one might call it, especially now that the bump on her belly had grown into something much more noticeable. Vindina was nearly two; I suppose he needed a little brother or sister to play with, too.

She'd somehow convinced someone to put out four tables, all of them overflowing with food from every corner of Spira. These tables sat along the beach, beneath the towering palm trees and clear, blue sky. On one of these tables, she'd set aside the wonderful, lovely wedding cake that Yuna had picked out and decorated with pink to contrast the white. Presents were placed around the crystal base of the cake holder and set up in a very fashionable way.

On the other side of the beach, there was a long, square table and many round tables, all of them scattered in a patterned, chaotic fashion along the beach. All of the wedding party was supposed to sit at the square table, while the guests were supposed to sit at the round ones. They were dressed in pink and gold tablecloths, the chairs white with pink bows tied around the armrests.

After the wedding ceremony, we all changed from our fancy dresses into something less formal and more active. Paine changed into a black and red suit. So typical. Yuna was a bit more reasonable. She and I had found her the cutest dress. It was long, peach-colored and eloquent, a sleeveless wonder. She wore a three-inch heel, classy and delicate. That was so Yuna. I, on the other hand, well I wore something a bit more revealing. I was never one for large amounts of unnecessary clothes. I kept it short and to the point. Form fitting orange and blue halter dress. Strap-up heels and a chocobo-feather hairpin. I told you it was simple.

After dinner and those awkward happily-ever-after-wedding-speeches, we were allowed to go out and be merry. Translation: Party time!

Apparently, being a married woman brought out the party animal in Yuna. She and Tidus have never been so close. Their bodies could have been made of the same flesh and there was still no reason for them to be so…"close." But they were the life of the party, shaking and gyrating all over one another. I couldn't hold back my laughter; it we well earned. Paine joined in along with me, until she was carried off by Baralai into a secluded corner to talk "travel."

I've learned something about myself. I hate innuendos. They're pointless and childish. I should know.

That night, I sat at a table by myself, a cup of something fizzy settled on the table next to me. I hadn't paid it much attention after the first initial sips. I was dizzied up in my thoughts, all of them centering around a particular Al Bhed, who was having a delicate—or bored, I couldn't tell—conversation with some brunette. I guess she was pretty, in that weird, face-doesn't'-go-with-her-body sort of way. Her face was pretty. Her slight build was pretty. But they just did not go well with one another. There was something missing? I watched them talking and I felt myself wondering what it was that had him so caught up in the way her mouth moved. When he made that grimace, however, I knew.

He was bored.

"There you are," I said lightly, wrapping my arm around him, nuzzling into his cheek. The strangely put together woman gave me an awkward 'Do you mind?' glare and huffed.

"Oh, hey honey," he said, smiling pleasantly, leaning down to kiss my forehead sweetly.

"Honey?" she spit, her upper lip curling nastily.

"Yeah. We've been dating since forever," I said with a smile. In your face! "I was just giving my regards to my cousin. She's such a pretty bride, isn't she? We wish to be that happy with one another someday."

"Uh-huh."

She didn't stay long. She regarded me oddly and made some excuse about having seen one of her friends. She disappeared into a crowd of people and was gone. Gippal relaxed beside me and sighed, turning to me with a grateful smile.

"You're welcome," I told him, smiling brightly.

"I could have handled it myself," he said, arrogant as always.

"Right," I said flatly. "Of course, watching that might have been more entertaining than this. These old people don't know how to have fun!" I complained, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Where'd Paine run off to?" Gippal asked, still smiling haughtily.

"Ugh. She and Baralai ran off to talk 'travel,'" I said, grimacing at the thought. "For crying out loud! Jeez, like I really needed to know that. They could have just left."

"I don't know what it is about weddings that makes me feel so lovey-dovey," I heard him say, wriggling his brows at me suggestively.

"Not you too, machina man!" I cried, shoving him playfully. "Weddings obviously affect people and their ability to think clearly!" I nearly shrieked the last part, earning me several grunts and even a few condescending glares, which I returned with a stuck-out tongue and a hissed "Meanie!"

"Let's get you somewhere safer," Gippal laughed into my ear, wheeling me around and giving me a light, gentle push towards the inner part of the city, away from the "party-goers" and the festive lights.

Thank god.

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I sat staring at the fire, the large bonfire in the middle of the city. I watched the flames flicker and dance. It was beautiful and hypnotizing. Gippal stared with me, his one good eyed now trained on alluring flames, watching as they danced and weaved intricately into one another. It was a beautiful thing to watch, especially with him beside me. I was sleepy, dazed from the lengthy day, mostly from the weight. I leaned against him, the light thud of my crashing into him echoing quietly—a tinge of mellowness to the action—into this emptiness we shared.

"Tired already, Cid's girl?" he teased lightly, wrapping his arm around my shoulders to keep me from falling forward into the fire. Though it would make for a good laugh, it was probably a little more dangerous than our usual thirst for excitement.

"I'm not tired," I lied, though my yawn quickly put me to shame. "All right, maybe just a little bit…."

Gippal smiled down at me. I peered up at him and gave him a lazy smile, one that made his cheeks grow wider for some reason. He was right, as usual. I had missed his company and now found myself wishing I had been strong enough to run to his protective arms and bury pieces of myself there. He'd have helped me through it, teased me until I cracked. That would have been acceptable. I wouldn't hate myself so much.

"I should take you home," he said after a while, murmuring into my hair. "Cid would kill me if I turned you into a party girl, you know."

"Aw, lighten up!" I managed, just before a spell of hiccups overcame my tiny frame. "I'll just—hic!—give it a second—hic!—I promise to—hic!"

"Rikku…" he said warily, holding my shoulders firmly.

"Fine! I'll just go grab my stuff and you can take me home," I murmured, staring into the fire to avoid his piercing gaze.

"Do you want me to go with you?" he asked, watching me stagger to my feet. God, it had been a long day. Too long.

"No, I'm all right. I'll run back, find Yunie and tell her bye," I said cheerfully. "Then you can take me home and all that."

Gippal grimaced but he finally relented. His hand dropped from mine and he watched me turn on my feet—somewhat gracefully—and walk back towards the beach. I wasn't sure how I did it either. I wasn't graceful or eloquent. Clumsy was more appropriate. Whatever it was I'd been drinking, I needed much more of it. A constant supply would do me some good, I guessed.

As I staggered back to the dwindling party, I quickly scoped through familiar faces until my eyes finally landed on one particular set of red eyes. I hesitantly walked over, very aware of how tightly Baralai had his arms wrapped around her waist and how comfortably molded she seemed to be with him. I stood there for a moment before either of them noticed me.

"Rikku? What is it?" Paine asked, tugging away from Baralai, though his grip never grew lax around her waist.

"Well, Gippal's taking me home," I said, blushing at the implications.

"Is he now?" said Baralai, raising his brow in surprise. "Well, I'm happy for the two of you."

"Oh come on, Baralai!" I said, my face twisted in unwillingness. I didn't want to follow his train of thought. "Not you, too! What has Paine been telling you? No, as a matter of fact—I don't wanna know. None of it's true, anyway!"

"You two are dating, then?" he asked, curiosity piqued.

"NO!"

"I suppose…"

While Baralai trailed off into his thoughts, Paine fixed me with a stern look. Knowing what that meant, too, I blushed and stubbornly addressed her, arms over my chest. I was defiant, I knew that much. She knew it too, given how rigid she'd suddenly become, despite the long, slender arm wrapped around her waist as if for dear life. Maybe my life?

"Rikku. Gippal is taking you home?" she asked slowly, though her eyes betrayed her calm demeanor. I knew what was bubbling at the back of her mouth, the question she desperately wanted to ask me now.

"Yes," I said innocently, smiling at her nervously, all my teeth showing.

"And then what?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you two going to stay there together…alone?" she asked, still refusing to indulge the very question she wanted to ask, the one now sitting on the tip of her tongue. It wanted to jump out into the world and I would catch it so swiftly…if it "slipped."

"We're not doing anything like that," I said, closing my eyes to hide the visual images. That only made it worse, actually, so I opened them quickly. She thought I'd come up with another something, another question to ask, which I had by some strange coincidence. "Hey. Where's Yunie? I haven't seen her…"

"She and Tidus were heading off towards inside of Besaid," she said dryly. I guess she hasn't forgiven me for that sexual innuendo. "If you hurry, you'll catch them."

"Uhm, all right," I said, biting my lip slightly. "Well, bye then!"

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I retraced my steps back to Besaid, humming a wordless song, wondering where I'd learned it.

"I blame that machina man," I sighed into the murmuring wind.

I kept walking, waiting to bump into either of my cousins. Now that they were married, he was just as much family as she was. Some reason, this quickened my pace. Now I really wanted to see them, to see their smiling faces. I wanted to tell Yuna one more time how happy I was for her and punch Tidus in the arm. I'd playfully threaten him to take care of my cousin or else. He would laugh at me, like always, but know how serious I was underneath all of the laughter and smiles. That delighted me more than anything.

However, finding them would be harder than I thought. I guess Gippal was the one who put the fire out. We were leaving, so why not? I'm sure he didn't want to burn down Besaid for us being reckless. That would be a sure way to get us uninvited to anything else that ever came about. They'd never trust us then! I just wished he would have waited until I got back. It would have been much easier for me to walk if I knew where the heck I was going. Gippal knew how clumsy I was—this was another of his pranks, I just knew it.

Damn he's good, I thought, smiling into the dimness.

I was going to call out to him, but something distracted me. A glint in the darkness managed to catch my eye, taking my attention to something else. I furrowed my brow, trying to think of what Besaid was like when it wasn't shrouded in darkens. That didn't help. I hadn't been here in so long that it was hard for me to remember. I knew that whatever that glint was, however, it wasn't a particular part of Besaid. It had come there just recently, if not that night.

Squaring my shoulders, I marched over to where the glint was coming from and prepared to tell off whoever it was. I couldn't, though, not when I peered down at what was before me. It was Yuna and Tidus, entangled in one another's arms so fiercely that I felt a pang of something too familiar, something too out of place for such a happy occasion. Gathering my wits about me, I staggered back, clutching at my chest, trying to alleviate the pain that stopped me from breathing.

I was lucky that they didn't see me. I didn't want to have to explain myself and I didn't want to know whatever it was they'd think up on the spot to tell me. I just couldn't hear it, not then or tomorrow or ever. I didn't want to know!

I found myself roaming around the bonfire, the lingering warmth wrapping itself around my legs, my arms. It touched my face, cupped my chin gently but it wasn't enough to elicit any sort of reaction. I just let it happen. I wasn't in the mood to fight it, to fight anyone for that matter. I just wanted to go home now and try sorting out what had happened. I wished to stare into the dazzling fires again, just to see a glimmer of their hypnotizing flames.

I suppose that's what I wanted. I wanted to forget all over again. I didn't want to remember. I didn't have to be forced to remember what I'd just seen. I didn't want any of it to stay stuck in my head. I didn't want that! But I'd seen it and nothing I did could make reality any less real, make the pain any less piercing. I could only hope to make myself that subtler. I didn't want to be seen in this light. I didn't want pity anymore. I hadn't earned it.

But why? What does it hurt so much now, thinking of them…? Why can't I just be happy for them and be a normal person? Why doesn't life make sense anymore! When did it stop making sense all of a sudden…?

I wrapped my arms around my knees, resting my chin to stare off into the infinite flames of mortality. Wounded and ashamed, I sat there, sulking in my pain. That was what I wanted to do. If I analyzed it enough, maybe somewhere in the vastness of my wanting it would make sense to me. Maybe something would come of it—something logical, I hoped. Try as I might, however, I couldn't make heads or tails of it.

Why should their closeness affect me so? It was their wedding, for crying out loud! What did I expect—for them to grow old and never have a passionate moment between them? That just being naïve, even for me. I knew what love was, knew what it entailed. And yet…I couldn't quite conquer the feeling that boiled in the pits of my stomach. I couldn't name it, couldn't give it a proper description. It was there and had appeared when I saw Yuna and Tidus tightly wrapped in one another's love. That's all I knew but it still wasn't enough. It wasn't enough!

Nothing ever happened the way I wanted it to happen. The sky would always be heavy on my shoulders. my friends would always come first. Cid would always be awkward around me. It would always be hot in Bikanel. Gippal would always be Gippal and I would always be Rikku. Some things were just unavoidable. Some ties in life weren't meant to be broken, some lines not meant to be crossed. It was how life was meant to go on. That's how we kept ourselves in check, by realizing the inevitability of things and learning to adapt to that. There was nothing else. Only change and acceptance. Otherwise, it meant death, or a very short-lived life.

So why would I expect life to be any different than that? Why would I expect the world to stop spinning and make sense just because I asked it to? It wasn't like the world took orders from me, but it sure would have been nice. I could have stopped inevitability. I could have stopped my heart from breaking.

But why is it breaking all over again…? What is it this time?

"Hey, it's Cid's girl," I heard from over my shoulder. I turned and wasn't surprised to see Gippal. Of course, I wasn't what one might consider 'happy' to see him, either. He must have noticed the latter; he was at my side in an instance. "Hey, there, Rikku. Did you say all of your goodbyes?" he asked glancing at me warily.

I didn't say anything to him at all. I just sat there, staring off into the flames, a flame that seemed to mimic itself inside of me. It was a flame that only I could see. I felt it burning through my skin, felt the hotness rush through my veins. My lungs filled with the desire, the passionate fury. I wanted to lash out and be irrational—I didn't want the world to punish me anymore. I wanted nothing to make sense and revel in that feeling while I forced my anger out on him. That was what I wanted. I wanted him to feel pain, too.

But that wasn't fair of me. Gippal had done nothing wrong. He'd only ever been my friend and I'd been mean to him, for reasons unknown. Today wouldn't be the same. He hadn't done this to me. I did it to myself, whatever "it" was, of course.

"Take me home, Gippal," I murmured lowly.

"Rikku—"

"Take me home."

Gippal didn't argue anymore. He scooped me up into his arms, kissed my forehead and began to walk towards one of the transports. I rested in his arms quietly, knowing all too well the feel of his one good eye trailing my face. I wasn't ready to talk and I guess he figured that much, since he didn't press me. I was too absorbed in my own thoughts, trying—and failing so miserably—to sort them out and define them.

When he put me down and paid the man, I stared at his tensed back and worried. I had done this time him, hadn't I? I made him worry again. That was my fault, too. I felt another pang of guilt well up inside of my stomach, mixing well with the strange sensation I had gotten from before. They seemed perfect together—self-loathing for what I'd done to him and something else I couldn't quite decipher—all tied inside of me.

Gippal walked past the man and nodded to him, to something he said. I stared at him for a long moment, my brow creased in concentration. I wanted to say something to Gippal. It wasn't right for him to suffer on my behalf. He was my friend—not my emotional slave. He didn't deserve this and I had to tell him that, so he wouldn't suffer any more than he already had for me. But I couldn't make my mouth move. I couldn't coerce my voice to come out of hiding.

So I followed behind him wordlessly, not knowing what else to do.

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Author's Note: A lovely way to end a wedding, don't you think? Never fear—the plot is here! Can anyone think of where this might lead to? I hope so. It's no fun if no one ever tries to guess.

It would mean the world to me if you would review and give me your honest opinion. Thank you.