The Side Effects of Unoriginality

I do not own FFX-2. I simply own the plot and grammatical errors.

Author's Note: Sorry it took so long to update. I was having a bit of trouble with this chapter. I wasn't exactly sure where I wanted it to go. But I'm here now and I'm ready to show you what I have. So, here ya go.

Chapter 14: How Bad Could It Be?

"He named the ship after you?" Yuna asked, nearly choking on her glass of water.

"Subtle, I know," I replied, dropping my head down on the table. "How do you just decide to name a ship after someone? I mean, don't I get to decide or, or even consent to the use of my name on that thing?"

"Apparently not."

I turned in my chair to see Paine leaning against the door, her arms crossed at her midsection. Standing on an angle, she stared down at me, though her red eyes were slightly softer than her usual glare that she directed at anyone bold enough to make direct eye contact. She wasn't glaring at me, though, direct eye contact or not. Paine looked amused. On hindsight, I realized that I must have been imaging that. Paine was never amused. It was so very un-Paine-like.

"Still, that is rather bold of him, isn't it?" Yuna asked slowly, peering between the two of us.

"Well…"

"Well? That's never the start of a very convincing argument," Rosemary said softly, handing Paine a cup of tea as she waltzed into the room. I needed serious advice. So, I pulled out all the stops. There was no point in hiding anything from her anyway. "What exactly do you mean, Rikku?"

"Uhm…well, Gippal and I…we've been kinda…"

"Close?" Paine suggested.

"Fru ycgat oui?" I growled. (Who asked you?)

"Don't forget…I do know what you're saying," she warned icily.

"Oh!"

"Rikku, settle down," Rosemary said, patting my knee before I jumped to my feet again. "Just take it slowly, all right? No one here will judge you. Isn't that right, Paine?"

I don't know what it is about Rosemary. But, surprisingly, she has the ability to strike the fear of god into both people and fiends. I've never seen Paine so terrified in her whole life—at least, not the whole time I've known her. There was something deathly about the subtle way she made threats. You never really knew what she was saying until you met her gaze. And boy did she make give a death glare. Maybe that's why Pops likes her so much…

"Oh, poopie! Why can't it just be like it used to be?!" I cried,

"What do you mean, Rikku?" Yuna asked, sounding every bit the concerned cousin she was.

"Gippal and I used to just be friends. Now we're…we're like—oh! I don't know. It's just so weird now."

"Love is like that, sweetie," Rosemary said slowly from her cup of tea.

"Muja?! No way!" I cried, jumping to my feet. "I don't—I can't—"

"And yet, you do," she said, still just as calmly as before.

I wondered if she was right. Could I honestly love Gippal? If I did—and I'm not saying that I do—then it would clear up a few questions I had. I didn't hate the way he made me feel whenever he touched me. But he was my boss. I suppose if I didn't love him—and I'm still not saying I do—then I wouldn't care. It would just be fun in the sack, as they say. And yet…it was almost like I was waiting for it to mean something more than just a roll in the hay. I wanted it to be special for both of us. I didn't want my name to be important for only one night.

"Rikku?"

"Hm?"

"Do you love…Gippal?" Yuna asked.

I don't think I knew how to answer my cousin's question. Probably because I didn't know how to answer my rendition of the exact same question. It was complicated and difficult. Naturally. Anything involving that idiot had to be. Even now, my head can't wrap itself around the strange feelings he makes me feel. I wonder—is that love?

"Let's stay focused here, shall we?" Rosemary said, placing her hand on my knee again. "He named his beloved aircraft after her. Obviously he feels strongly for our little Rikku."

"So shouldn't she know how she feels about him?" Yuna cut in, jumping to her feet. Her mismatched eyes were sparkling again with idealistic romantic fantasies. That could only end badly for me, especially if she started spouting her fantastic love life. That was honestly the last thing I needed to hear right now. I didn't even have a breakfast to puke up and amuse myself with.

"If you and Tidus were friends, Yuna, and all of a sudden he named a Blitzball move after you, how would you feel?" Paine asked.

"Well, I, uh—," Yuna stammered nervously, her face red with embarrassment. Whenever she fumbled with her fingers like that, it was a sure sign that she wasn't sure what to do.

"Exactly. Rikku doesn't know what she feels. She needs time to think. She's spent the better part of a year breathing nothing but Gippal. She needs to sort out her feelings," my red-eyed friend said, sounding surprisingly caring.

"I've got a great idea," Rosemary said, smiling like a child in the candy store. She was bouncing slightly as she spoke, I noticed, something she only did when she was adamant about whatever it was she was thinking. "How about we have a girls' getaway? Just the four of us—out to Besaid beach to enjoy the sun and be away from our men. Don't you think that's a wonderful idea?"

"Rose, you know Yuna and Tidus live on Besaid, right?" I said, peering up at her curiously.

"We'll send him away with Cid. I'm sure he'll understand. And while we're there, we'll get Lulu and send Wakka away with them, too," she said, sounding more and more devious as time went on. Sometimes, I worried about my mother figure. She could be down right disturbing whenever she got stuck on an idea…like now.

"That's a wonderful idea, Aunt Rosemary," Yuna said, bouncing happily on her feet as she paced the room. "That's exactly what Rikku needs; time alone to sort her thoughts out. Rikku, you'll be as good as new in no time—I promise!"

As I sat there watching my cousin and my mother figure planning things out for me, I wondered what I had gotten myself into.

"Is something wrong, Rikku?"

I turned to find Paine staring at me curiously. Since Yuna and Rosemary were busying themselves with planning, I decided to stand outside and stare at the busy streets of Luca. I wanted to lose myself in their moving feet and traveling carts. Maybe then I could find myself for real. But if her distant gaze was any indication, I wasn't doing too good a job. Shrugging, I let my shoulders slump forward, giving up the good fight. I was lost. End of story.

"When did everything get so complicated?" I whimpered, kicking at an imaginary rock by my feet. I watched it disappear into the weight of Luca's streets, absorbed into their single consciousness. I wondered if I could meld into that oneness and still remember my name. "When did we go from being best friends to…well, to this, whatever it may be?"

"Sadly, I can't tell you. It happened long before I met either of you," she told me, leaning against the banister. She stared out at the busy streets of Luca beneath us, probably just as curious about them as I was. "You and Gippal have been falling in love since you first met. It's something that was bound to happen because of who you two are. You've been friends your whole life. He's always been apart of you. It's only natural that you fell in love with him."

"Who says I'm in love?" I asked weakly.

"You can lie to them, Rikku. Hell, you can even lie to yourself. But don't lie to me; I know the truth," Paine said, her voice softer than I can ever remember it being. She sounded at peace. "Both of you know what it is that you feel for one another. It only took you this long to come to terms with it. Still, I'm pretty impressed."

"Impressed? What do you mean?" I asked, watching her open the door to go back into Rosemary's home. She stopped, turning around to face me again. "Paine?"

"For once, you're not running away from him. You stayed. He always took it personally when you ran off to save the world instead of sticking around so that he could save you," she said. "He's always wanted to be your hero. He's always wanted to save your world from harm…"

I sat on Besaid's beach, staring out at the clear water reminiscing. We had rescued Tidus from those waters. I remember their reunion like it was the other day. Sure, two years had passed since then, but it was a good memory. So I could remember it. Yuna was so happy—as was the rest of Besaid Island. Yuna deserved to be happy after having so much grief in her life. She deserved to be happy. I wondered if I could ever get a happily ever after fairy tale ending. Sure, I hadn't done much to help procure its survival, but the world owed me after everything I had done to save it from destruction. The world owed me as much.

No. That's not true, either. If I want to be happy, then I have to make myself happy. I can't depend on others to make me happy. What does that say about me?

"Having fun yet?"

Rosemary pushed a chilled drink into my hands before settling down beside me on my towel. While her swimsuit wasn't nearly as revealing as mine, for a woman her age, it was scanty. She was busty and much curvier than I had realized. I suppose that's why us Al Bhed women generally wore layers of clothing. We wanted to hide ourselves from the world. Still, that didn't explain me, running half way around the world in little more than a bikini and a mini skirt. The scarf could hardly be counted as clothing, as my father had told me countless times beforehand.

"I'll admit it; Besaid is beautiful. Sure, it's not the sandy Home I'm used to with the Oasis to find, but it's nice. I can see why you like it here," she said, sipping from her cup.

"We're not actually talking about Besaid, are we?"

"We never were, dear. I can see why you like him so much, Rikku. He's a lot like your father, loath though you are to admit it. It's that stubbornness that you adore so much in your father that drew you into Gippal, as well," Rosemary said, swishing around the contents of her cup distractedly. "He's a lot like the person you see in your father. When Cid isn't worried about his two kids or the fate of his people or scouring the desert machina parts, he's the person you love in Gippal. Is that why you're afraid?"

"I don't know. I…I've always known Gippal. He's always been apart of my life," I told her, pulling my knees to my chest. "I'm nothing if not for him."

"So you're afraid to lose him as a friend if things don't work out between you two as lovers."

It wasn't a question. More or less, she was telling me something—something about her, no doubt.

"Your father and I were like you two very much. I've known your father since before he married your mother. I was his best friend, the same as you are to Gippal. But I didn't tell him how I felt because I didn't think I was good enough for him. I didn't think we could ever love each other as anything other than friends. So, when your mother came around and he fell for her, I could do nothing but be happy for him. I later realized the error of my ways. I'm sure it all worked out for a reason, though. I can't have children; had I married your father, I would never have met you or your brother."

"But?"

"But that shouldn't suggest that I took his marriage kindly. I abandoned Home the moment he was married to your mother and I fled to Luca. I couldn't bear to see him happy with someone other than myself. I realized how childish and selfish that was on my part, but had I stayed, I'd have become bitter towards her and towards her children. I can't imagine myself ever hating Cid's lovely children as I am now, but I wasn't in a happy place those many years ago. I realize that I should have told your father how I felt, but for the time being, I am happy that I did not. I wasn't old enough in my mind to have supported him the way your mother did."

I sat in silence, absorbing her confession into tangible emotion. The pain she must have felt to watch Pops in the arms of another must have been torture. I wondered if I could suffer that much for Gippal just so that he could be happy. Could I watch with dry eyes him indulging the attention of another woman? Could I be happy for him when he pledged his life to some woman who didn't understand the value of functioning tools? Could I live in the age where Gippal belonged to someone else? I realized I couldn't.

"I'm scared."

"I know you are, baby," she said, wrapping me up in her arms. She murmured softly against my hair, a lullaby I had known since I was a child. "If you really love Gippal, then you have to come to terms with it. You have to tell him."

"Ay! What's all d'is about, ya?"

"Wakka? Uh-oh…"

Rosemary and I scrambled to our feet. And there he was, standing in the middle of the beach with a confused look on his face. He was wearing his swimming shorts, a beach ball tucked under his arm. If Wakka was here then that meant—

"Hey! Cid's girl! You trying to have a day at the beach without me?"

I watched Gippal from the shoreline, my mouth slightly agape as I recalled what Rosemary had said to me earlier. She had always loved my father. It wasn't hard to imagine the way they moved so easily together. I wanted that for Gippal and I, but at the expense of possibly losing our friendship? Who was I kidding? If Gippal wasn't going to always be my friend, what was the point? For all I was worth, I couldn't bring myself to sacrifice something so important to me for a chance at happiness eternal.

Slumping forward, I gave into the questions that were nagging at the back of my mind. The questions that wondered why I wasn't pouring my heart out to him; the questions that demanded I run as far and as fast away from him as possible; all of them weighed heavily on me and I didn't have a single answer. Not for myself. Not for them. And especially not for him.

As I got to my feet, I felt his eyes on me. He was in the water playing with Wakka, Tidus, Brother and Yuna; Paine and Lulu were standing on the shore together, their dark eyes seeing everything all at once. Baralai was lying at Paine's feet, saying something to her with a gentle smile on his face. Buddy and Shinra were racing toy vehicles in the sand to amuse Vindina, who tried to gobble them up whenever they stopped. Rosemary and Cid were seated in chairs, watching all of us. And I was standing alone on the beach, wrapping my arms around my body.

For any normal person, this scene should have been happy. For me, it was only a reminder of how much I didn't have for the sake of others. I had given up any chance of being happy so that I could ensure the happiness of others. I had forgotten all about myself so that other people could hope. I was their beacon and I wanted to remind them that there was something worth living for, even in the most dismal of times. But, without my even realizing it, I had let go of any chance for my own happiness. That in itself was worth crying over.

"Where are you going?" Paine asked as I walked past her.

"Oh, uh—I just wanna stretch my legs, you know," I said, laughing nervously. "I won't go far. Promise."

I could tell she didn't believe me. There was something transparent about the way Paine showed she cared. Maybe it was because she wasn't the type to be emotional that the few times she was ever so vulnerable, it was such an odd, contrasting change compared to her normality. Or maybe it was because I knew her so well that I always knew that the tiny dent in her brow meant she was deeply concerned for whatever it was that caught her attention. In this case, it was me. She was worried about me.

I just wish I could have told her that she didn't need to worry about me.

As I walked along the shoreline, I felt the waters lapping at my bare feet hungrily. I didn't mind. Today was rather hot and the cool water was refreshing. Of course, many people would wonder how I, dressed in as little was I was, could ever be hot. A sliver of cloth across my lower body and an equally sliver-like piece across my bosom was all that sustained my modesty. Sad, isn't it? What can I say? I grew up in the desert; clothes were the last things on anyone's minds.

Somehow I found myself in the tiny nook where Wakka and Tidus said they swam once. Of course, I don't know how my feet took me there; I didn't really know about the place. It was just some vague understanding of the place that let me feel comfortable enough to say I knew my way around.

As I sat on the edge, I stared out over the cool water. I longed for Home; this place reminded me of the Oasis. It was Gippal and my favorite spot together. I can't remember how many nights we spent there together, staring up at the stars, talking about where we wanted to be when we were older. He always knew that he would be the leader of a machina organization. So it came as no surprise to find him at the head of Machine Faction two years ago.

Of course, I never knew what I wanted to be—I never gave it much thought. Perhaps that's why I was so versatile. I was always in the middle of something or another, whether it was saving the world or saving a sphere, or even rescuing an aircraft from being forgotten. Maybe I just wanted to save everyone—the whole world from feeling lonely or painful or forgotten. I don't know. But that seemed about right. I wanted to rescue them from feeling the pain I always seemed to feel…

"Hey, Cid's girl."

"Gippal?" I said, peering up to find Gippal standing behind me. "Oh…hi."

"What's wrong with you, kiddo? You haven't looked that upset since you found out machina aren't eligible for marriage," he teased.

"Oh shut up!"

"May I ask why the lovely Princess of the Sand is sitting here all by her lonesome?" he asked, coming to sit down beside me. He didn't notice the way out hands touched—or maybe he did—but it made my face hot. "So why aren't you enjoying yourself with your friends? I thought that's what ya came out here for."

"Eh…kinda," I said nervously.

He stared at me curiously, but I simply stared out at the water. I didn't remember how long it had been since Gippal and I had been alone together like this. I couldn't feel the tension that had been building since the day in his office. It was like it never existed at all.

"Let's go for a swim," he suggested, though he didn't wait for me to answer. He was already diving in before the question had the time to register itself into my brain. When I looked again, he was treading water several yards below me, his golden hair shimmering with water droplets. "Come on, Cid's girl! The water's fine!"

I pouted before jumping in after him. He was right; the water was great. I swam around him several times before he grabbed me out of the water, me kicking and screaming the whole way. We laughed together, giggling at the thought of it all. When he finally put me down, my face hurt from laughing so hard. Settling down, we floated on our backs for a while, just staring up at the sky. It was just like back Home, the two of us staring up from the Oasis. I felt home sick, suddenly, wishing that we were there and not here.

"I miss Home too, kiddo," he sighed. "The rest of Spira is great, but I miss Home. I miss my people."

"Then why not go back?" I asked, glancing at him. His one good eye was focused on something faraway, meaning he was in deep thought. That was natural; we were talking about him going back Home, after all. He had a lot to consider under those circumstances. "Pops would be happy to see you there. Heck, I'm sure most of the Al Bhed would. Our fearless machina leader returned."

"Home isn't the same without you, Rikku."

"What?"

"I don't know what's up with you, kiddo," Gippal suddenly said. "I've been trying to wrap my head around you but I just can't."

"What do you mean?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood. I couldn't though; my hands wouldn't stop shaking. And the way he was looking at me, I couldn't focus on anything but the message he was trying to convey.

"You're up and you're down faster than I can keep track of you. For the life of you, you can't stay still. You're something I don't think I'll ever understand anything about you, Rikku."

"Gippal—"

"But I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life trying to. None of that bothers me anymore, Rikku," Gippal whispered, running him thumb along my jaw. "You can be whatever you wanna be. You can be the destruction of the world for all I care. As long as you're there to confuse me, then that's all right."

And then he kissed me, softly on the lips. It was unlike either of the kisses we had shared before. This one was needy and passionate, as though he wanted desperately to become apart of me. Maybe he wanted to; I know I wanted to be apart of everything he was. And at that moment, I realized something.

I was in love with Gippal.

How bad could it be?

How bad does the drug deal have to go in order for you to leave the drugs behind?

Oh, I guess that is pretty bad.

Author's Note: Yay! I finished! So how do you like it? I hope it wasn't too soppy. That's the last thing I want. Can you imagine it—a soppy Rikku? I think the world would implode and make a black hole of itself if such a conundrum were to occur.

And in other news, I've noticed I've gotten a lot of people watching this story progress. At least three people, I'm sure. Of course, you're not telling me anything T_T Don't be shy! Drop me a line. I'm dying to know how everyone feels about this story. So, until next time!

It would mean the world to me if you would review and give me your honest opinion. Thank you.