The Side Effects of Unoriginality
I do not own FFX-2. I simply own the plot and grammatical errors.
Author's Note: I am so sorry, guys! I've just been so swamped with work. But never fear! The newest chapter is here! Hopefully, it'll keep you guys at bay until I can crank out the next one.
I totally goofed. Please forgive me! If you didn't notice the goof up, wonderful!
Chapter 15: Friendly Advice Anyone?
A week had passed since my subtle yet obvious realization. This time, however, I made sure not to isolate Gippal. I smiled at him whenever he was around and I didn't scamper from the room if he came into it. Things were different from how they used to be, but that didn't mean I needed to make our situation difficult, too. We had enough to worry about, what with Gippal's ship getting the final layers of paint and customizations made to the interior. Within a month's time, the entire project would be completed.
"It's just like Gippal said," I cooed, running my hands over the side of the ship in my passing. "You really are beautiful…"
"Of course she is. I named her after you, didn't I?"
I turned to find a familiar face smiling at me with that macho arrogant grin. Gippal stood with the sun to his back, a cup in either hand as he approached me. Once he was closer, he offered me the glass and I fell in step beside him. We walked and sipped for several long moments, neither of us quite sure what to say. I glanced at him from the corner of my eyes and was shocked. For once, I think Gippal was as much at a loss for words as I was. He was peering up at the sky, scratching the back of his head as he walked, a thoughtful twist to his parted lips. I couldn't help but laugh at him.
"What's so funny, Cid's girl?" he asked quickly.
"Your face, of course! It's hilarious!" I said, doubling over, a mess of hysterical giggling. "You should see yourself, machina man! Priceless…"
"Laugh it up."
"So, what is it, machina man?" I asked, once my giggles had subsided. "Did you need my help with something inside?"
"No, it's nothing like that," he said, edgier than usual. "Well, it's…just…Cid is having this sort of…thing…and I have to go."
"Ooh, flashy," I teased, smiling up at him. I nudged him in the side playfully before running around to stand in front of him. "I can see it now. 'The Machine Faction Leader—Gippal, too hot to touch—putting all the men to shame.' Pops will have a field day with you later."
"I need a date."
"W-What?" I stammered, suddenly realizing why he'd been so nervous. "A d-d-d-date?"
"So. Are you free tomorrow night?"
Once again, I found myself out with the girls. Only this time, Lulu, who had recently been clued into my Gippal dilemma, decided to tag along. She left Vindina with his father and uncle Tidus back on the island, threatening them with the fear of Yevon. If he had a scratch on him, they were both as good as dead. She, along with Yuna, Paine and Rosemary, accompanied me to the boutique in Luca, said to house some of the prettiest—and most expensive—dresses in all of Spira.
As I got over the initial shock of what Gippal asked me, he clarified the specifics. It was a semi-formal gathering, which meant me having to wear a dress. Oh joy. Naturally, they were the only ones I could ask to come along with me. Leave Gippal to his own devices long enough and he'd have me in something scanty…I just know it. So we found the largest dress store in Spira; I was picky when it came to formal attire. I'm much happier in my Thief's outfit. I don't see the point of wearing a dozen articles of clothing if four pieces get the job done.
"I don't even see why this is necessary," I grumbled, absently thumbing through a rack of clothes. Nothing caught my eye. "And how come no one told me about this thing beforehand?"
Naturally, no one answered. Paine was going with Baralai, Yuna was taking Tidus, Lulu and Wakka were going and Rosemary was Cid's guest. None of them had uttered a single word about this damn party beforehand. Now, when asked a direct question, they found whatever it was they were looking at magically interesting. Typical. Traipsing through the boutique, I didn't bother looking at any of the dresses. No one ever liked my pick of dresses, so why bother? They'd only shoot me down anyway. Whatever they had was always so much better than my choice…
"Hey, Rikku," Yuna called from a rack of dresses. "Come over here, please."
I slunk over to my cousin, wondering what she had found. When I got there, however, she was practically gnawing off her bottom lip. She was thinking of something but was too afraid to say anything for fear of offending me. She was so predictable…
"What's wrong, Yunie?" I whispered softly.
"You're going with Gippal," she started slowly. Oh boy; I know exactly where this one is going…
"Yeah. So what?" I asked, trying to shrug off the weight of her logic. Sadly, there was no point in even bothering. She was going to do her job until she didn't have one anymore. And, at the moment, protecting my better interests was her own personal job. To that end she would strive. Still, can't blame a girl for trying. "It's not a big deal, ya know."
"Not a big deal? Rikku! Listen to yourself!" she chided, sounding like someone's mother. "It's a formal event. He's not just taking any blonde-haired bimbo! He's taking our Rikku to this thing…and that should make it a big deal to you. Don't you understand what that means?"
"Apparently, I don't," I sighed, somewhat deflated. "I don't want to make this into a big deal, Yunie. I can barely sort out my feelings. I can't be bothered to try and figure his out, too, ya know. I'm just a kid! I don't know what I'm doin' anymore."
"Oh, Rikku," she sobbed, throwing herself at me.
We stood like that for quite some time. I don't know when we moved. I don't remember making my legs go forward. The only thing I could see was Gippal and his shining aura. He was so beautiful and so perfect. How had I gotten dragged into all of this? What had changed in the two years since I'd last seen him? What changed him? What changed me? I didn't mean for any of this to ever happen! All I wanted ta do was build a darn ship, not fall for my best friend…
The next afternoon, I was in yet another store with Paine, Lulu and Yuna. Rosemary said something about having to attend a pre-banquet thing with Pops. She gave me a knowing look and shipped off to meet him in Bikanel. I sighed deeply. She was the only one not pestering me about a situation I didn't know how to resolve—i.e., my relationships with Gippal. She was the only one who didn't seem to pity my inability to make a decision. Unlike some people, I didn't meet the guy of my dreams and have everything fall into place. Some people had to work to make things turn out right.
Today we were searching for accessories and other last-minute trinkets. Oh joy. A whole day with my two pseudo-sisters and my Romantic cousin. I couldn't describe with words the happiness I felt whilst waltzing through the too-tiny store. I prayed that we could get in and get out before anyone realized I wasn't professing myself to Gippal. Maybe I could make it through the rest of the day without someone giving me a strange look or wanting to talk. Yesterday I had to deal with Yuna's insistent tears and quieted wails. I love my cousin—don't get me wrong, but sometimes…she needs to suck it up.
Since my dress had been picked out for me already—it was a sleeveless blue dress that tapered at the waist and flowed down fittingly to my feet; it was trimmed in silver. Surprisingly, it was in good taste—my only task was to find matching silver accessories. So far, I found silver-plated chocobo feather earrings. They were adorable! There was also a necklace, more of a silver chain than anything else. There was a silver feather dangling from the thin chain. I thought it matched rather nicely.
I walked to the front of the store and showed the lady my intended purchase. I had already picked out silver slippers earlier that morning. This was the last thing I needed. Now, to just pay for it and then I'll be home free. Come on lady, ring faster before—
"Before you leave, Rikku, I'd like a word."
I'd know that coolly polite commanding voice anywhere. I peeked over my shoulder and smiled nervously at Lulu, who stood barring the door. Face falling only slightly, I recovered with a curt nod. I turned back to the cashier, shooting daggers at her for being so slow. Being the unnatural blonde she was, she didn't notice. I sighed under my breath when she handed me my purchase. I got to the door and stepped out, nearly bumping into Lulu in the process.
"Howdy," I said, all the pep lost to my voice.
"Don't sound so happy to see me," she joked dryly. She turned her eyes to me, freezing me to the spot. I gulped loudly—or it seemed loud to me; I couldn't hear much else over the thundering in my ears, so it had to be loud if I heard it. "It has come to my attention that you harbor romantic feelings for your friend, Gippal—leader of the former Machine Faction. Is that correct?"
"Jeez! Does everyone have an opinion on how I should go about doing this?"
"I only asked you a simple question, Rikku," the woman said softly. "Since you seem so adamant about not talking, it is obvious how strongly you feel for him. That is all that concerns me. Do not fall victim to the pressures of others. If you love him, then that is all you need be concerned with at first. You have that much handled; take the rest as you see fit."
And with that, the ex-black mage turned on her heel and returned to the store, leaving me to stand on the front in stunned silence.
The night of the party finally arrived. The only place large enough to hold most if not all of Spira was the Bliztball Stadium in Luca. Big surprise there… It was gutted and the bleachers were moved out of the way. The place was done up like a ball room, with glitter decorating every flat—and some not-so-flat—surface available. It was a shimmering mess, but gorgeous all the same.
Everyone who was formally invited was announced upon arrival and there was a humungous spectacle as to who brought who and why. Naturally, when the man called Gippal's name and then announced me as his date, there was a quiet sea of hissing that splashed against us. I winced at the death glares they were sending me. I tried compressing my existence, melding with Gippal. Sadly, I was still privy to their evil eyes.
After that debacle, I was left to my own devices. Every now and then, Gippal's arm would wrap around my waist and I would jump from the closeness. Realizing it was him, however, I would relax and continue with whatever it was I had been doing. It felt surprisingly…natural, like his arm belonged there. I don't know how to explain it. Yet.
An hour passed and I was waltzing about aimlessly. Gippal needed to discuss something with some important looking bloke to the side, leaving me without an arm to keep me in place. Naturally, my feet got to moving. I found myself walking past a moderately crowded bar, where I spotted a familiar head of messy blonde hair. It was Turrang, who had previously decided that he would go without a date, which didn't surprise me as much as it should have. Now that I thought about it, I realized he never spoke about a wife, a mistress or even an ex-girlfriend. Maybe he liked men. I shrugged—that was his business. I just felt bad that he didn't have anyone to talk to. Making up my mind, I marched over to where he was seated at the bar and plopped myself down beside him.
"Oh, I'm sor—Rikku?" he said, stopping mid-apology. His face immediately lit up. "I almost forgot you'd be here. How are you?"
"I'm good. A little bored. All these old farts don't know how to have fun!" I complained. "Still, it's nice to see everyone getting along."
"I know what you mean. It's not been a time where so many of Spira's people could gather without there being bloodshed present," he said, nodding to himself. "But these political get-togethers are always quite boring. I'm only here to support Gippal, as are several others. Us Al Bhed have to stick together, you know. We're the only true family we have."
"That's true," I sighed. "Still, maybe we can learn to get along one o' these days. It's a big, hopeful thing, but it's somethin' ta look forward to."
"You're starting to sound like your father," he laughed. "Accent and all."
"Crid ib, oui!" I said, punching him playfully. (Shut up, you!)
One of the Hypello barkeepers waltzed down the length of the bar, a pad of paper in one hand, a pen in the other. At this, Turrang perked up and called the barkeeper over. He ordered something with a long name; it was definitely alcoholic. I didn't want anything; Rosemary made sure to stuff our faces before we left. We waited in silence until a thick glass was set in front of Turrang. He smiled brightly, tipping the rim to his mouth. He consumed more than half the glass in one gulp, smacking his lips greedily, before settling the glass back on the wooden bar. He turned to me in his chair, a question set to his strong features.
"So, why aren't you with Gippal?" he asked softly, having glanced around for my blonde-haired beau.
"Oh, you know, he's off talking to someone," I shrugged. "I didn't wanna just stand there, so I started walkin' around. I was lookin' for Yunie and the rest of them, but I found you first. So I came and said hi…"
"How are things progressing between the two of you?" Turrang asked, while staring into amber liquid in his glass.
"Huh?"
"Nevermind," he chuckled, setting the glass down. "Care for a dance?"
Somehow, Turrang and I made it to the middle of the dance floor, just as an upbeat song started. I lost myself to the unified swaying of the crowd, the warm air of their bodies making me dizzy. I felt Turrang behind me, his hands steady on either side of my hips. He swayed with me, our bodies almost touching in the warm fuzz of our dancing sea. I moved with him to some unknown beat that resonated inside of me, out bodies synchronized in whatever dance we made up together.
As time wore on, I fell into him, his chest pressed tightly against my back. His hands slid down to my thighs, my arms wrapping around his neck. We danced like that, closer than we probably should have been. But I was too caught up in the moment that I didn't even remember my name, let alone the person I thought I was dancing with.
I felt his breath on the back of my neck and it sent a strange sensation down my back. My stomach did flips, begging for more of the pleasant sensation. Unfortunately, it stopped so suddenly and my trance was broken. Turning I saw Turrang caught in a staring contest with another blonde—my blonde!
"Gippal," I said softly, causing him to lose whatever macho test he was engaged in with Turrang. "Hey! How'd your little meeting go?"
"Meeting?" he asked, sounding confused. "Oh, uh, fine."
"Good. I was waiting for you—but Turrang here was keeping me company," I said with a smile.
"I noticed," he said dryly. "But he's needed elsewhere. And since I'm here, you won't be sad in his parting, right?"
"Uh…right," I said slowly.
I didn't know what was going on between the two of them. Turrang was almost glaring at Gippal, who seemed sheepish under his friend's gaze. Normally, they were the best of friends, but tonight, Turrang seemed on edge with Gippal. I wonder what he'd done to make the normally sympathetic Al Bhed so…touchy. He nodded at Gippal and whispered something that sounding like, "Tuh'd clnaf ib." (Don't screw up.) He walked past Gippal, winking at me before he disappeared into the crowd of people.
"What was that about?" I asked lightly.
"Ah, nothin'," he said. We both knew he was lying, but who was I to call him on it? I only shrugged as an answer. "So, how about we get outta here? I made my appearance, like I promised. And, last time I checked, you hated these sorta things. Too many old farts…"
"You remembered!"
"Naturally, kiddo. There's not too much about cha that I don't know," he said smoothly. "So, let's get outta here, huh? I'll walk ya home."
Gippal and I talked for three hours about anything and everything. It was just like old times. I couldn't remember the last time he and I just talked, though. It had been so long. Before our lives got complicated with Sin and growing up, we had been so close. He was my other half. I missed that. He did, too.
We recounted our memories together, reminiscing about the things we would have done had things gone as we planned. He told me his dreams—the things he wanted to accomplish before he died. I was impressed; they weren't the same anymore. They weren't so childish anymore. The things he wanted to do were meaningful to me and to him. The rest of the world be damned. What he wanted to do was important to him, so that was all that mattered.
I told him about my fears. I told him how I was afraid I would lose him when everything changed. He reminded me of something—his inability to break a promise. When our worlds fell apart, we made a promise to each other. We promised to stick together always. So far, neither of us had broken that promise yet. I was glad.
Finally, we made it to Rosemary's house, the place where I was staying until I returned to Djose with the rest of the crew. I lingered in the front porch, Gippal nervously casting around for something—anything to talk about. I smiled at him. This wasn't like Gippal, to be so nervous. It was refreshing to see him off balanced.
"Something wrong?" I teased.
"Hush up, Cid's girl," he said. "The day after tomorrow, everyone starts back to work. You are coming back, aren't you?"
"Why wouldn't I?"
"She's almost done. Your machina expertise isn't necessarily required for adding a few coats of paint. I just figured…"
"I have other reasons for returning to Djose, you know," I said without thinking. I caught myself after it was too late. My only hope was that Gippal didn't hear me. Oh how unlucky I was…
"Ah," was all he said, though.
"Gippal," I said nervously, prancing from one foot to the other. "Uhm…"
"What is it, Cid's girl?" he asked, stepping closer to me. My back pressed against the door, his face only inches away from mine. "Did you need something?"
With him being so close to me, I said the only thing I could think of.
"Kiss me."
That night, I waited up for Rosemary to come home. All I could think of was how soft Gippal's lips had been against mine. I don't know why I told him to kiss me but I was so glad. It wasn't what I wanted to tell him. But I figured I couldn't have expressed myself any better than that; not with words, not with kind gestures. Only our lips pressed together could have told him what I wanted to say. If I didn't know before, I knew now. I loved him. I truly, truly loved Gippal.
Downstairs, the door creaked open. I didn't want to scare her, so I waited a while, until she was settled downstairs. I heard water running and then her teakettle chirping softly. She was making tea again; it was her only vice, if you could call it that. She always told me that tea helped ease the soul. She was probably right. Look at how calm she always was.
I crept downstairs and found her right where I knew she'd be. She was expecting me.
"I was wondering how long it would take you to find me," Rosemary said. Like always, she was in her living room sipping tea. She patted the seat next to her, motioning towards the second teacup, which must have been mine. "It didn't take you as long as I thought."
"But you have tea ready," I pointed out.
"A wise woman always has tea ready for her child in need," she told me. "I've found that nothing helps settle the mind like a hot cup of tea."
I guess she was right. Whenever something was troubling Rosemary, she boiled some water and made herself a pot of tea. Afterwards, she felt better and was able to tackle whatever it was that was troubling her. Maybe she was right about tea; it really did work miracles. So I took the seat beside her and sipped quietly from my teacup. She wouldn't push me into talking; when I was ready, she would listen.
"I'm…not sure what to do anymore, Rosemary," I whispered. "Everyone keeps telling me different things to do and none of them makes much sense."
"Of course they don't, Rikku. None of those ideas belong to you," she explained. "In your mind, you still haven't decided what to do. Therefore, any path someone tries to explain to you won't make any sense because you can't see that road yet. It's like looking for someone in the wrong city; of course you'll never find the person, so long as you remain where you are."
"That makes sense," I grumbled. "But I still don't know what I wanna do. It's all so confusing."
"That's because you love him. It always tints the world in a different shade than we are used to," she reminisced. "The world doesn't seem to make sense anymore because you love him. It's the same for everyone, I believe. And, in trying to right those wrongs, you lose yourself in the momentum of denial. Learn to embrace the new feelings he's giving you, Rikku. But, more than that, let him know what he's doing to you.
"Tell him? Why would I wanna do that, Rosemary?" I whimpered.
"It's not fair for you to hog all of the new sensations," she said, giving me a patronizing glance. She settled her cup on the short table in front of us and turned to me on the couch. She took both of my hands into hers and smiled. "Think about it like this, Rikku. Perhaps he is lonely and just as confused as you are. He doesn't have a mother or father to talk to about what he's feeling. All he has is himself and you to rely on. He won't move forward if you keep pulling away from him. He won't approach you if you don't show any interest in him and make the first move. He's just as afraid as you are. The only difference is, he's alone in his world and you are not. Did that thought ever cross your mind?"
"No…it hadn't…"
I stared down at my hands in hers. Did she have anyone to talk to when she fell in love with Pops? More than that, how did she feel when my mother married him and was the one to make him happy? I wondered again if I could see Gippal happy with someone else and not die on the inside. Knowing me, I would run away to the opposite end of the world again. I would escape so that I wouldn't have to see everything I could have had. That would be torture to me.
"Love is a two way street sweetie," Rosemary said, pulling me into a hug. "If you love him, there is a strong but equal chance that he loves you, too. But if you never tell him, slowly, your two way street will become a one-sided romance. Is that what you want, Rikku?"
I couldn't speak; my throat had constricted with emotion. Thinking of a world without Gippal had sent me over the edge. I couldn't see past my own misery. I couldn't think of anything but how empty my life would be if he wasn't there to make everything feel so full, so complete. So I shook my head. Of course that wasn't what I wanted. Of course I didn't want that. Of course I wanted to tell him how much I needed him. Of course…I had to tell him that I loved him, first. But how?
And then it occurred to me.
Author's Note: Cliffhanger? Probably. But I promise! The next chapter will have all sorts of twists and turns! You'll love it! Just don't give up on me yet!
It would mean the world to me if you would review and give me your honest opinion. Thank you.