Kate watches the other woman's steady gentle hands with curiosity, tinged with the faintest glimmer of admiration, as Juliet delicately removes the sutures from Kate's forehead. Kate finds herself utterly captivated by the woman, but wonders if this is merely a consequence of the fact that Juliet is the only human being she has had contact with in the past 5 days?
Juliet Burke- Beautiful. Intelligent. Confident. What was a woman like her doing in a place like this? Working with these heinous people? Only one way to find out, Kate comes straight out and asks.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
Juliet sits back, eyeing Kate with a slight sense of puzzlement. "Removing the sutures from your head, be quiet, and keep still."
"I mean, what are you doing here on this island?" Kate clarifies.
Juliet stops in her tracks, laying down the instruments in her hand. Tilting her head slightly she looks questioningly into Kate's eyes. How many million times had Juliet asked herself that same question, over and over in the dark stillness of the night. What the hell am I doing here?
Finally, softly, Juliet answers "No one has ever asked me that, Kate."
Kate shivers at the sound of her own name in Juliet's mouth. It sounds suddenly so perfectly fitting on Juliet's lips.
"I'm asking." Kate responds.
"Why do you want to know?" Juliet attempts to hide the rising panic behind a cool smile.
"I asked first." Kate responds in playful, almost childish tones. Kate is enjoying the game, the knowledge that she has somehow caught Juliet Burke off guard. Besides, she can't find an answer. Why does she want to know? Just curious? Just passing the time? It's not so much what Juliet is doing on this island that is of chief concern to Kate anymore, It was why the question had caused such uncharacteristic hesitation in her voice, and that unprecedented flash of humanity in her eyes.
Juliet pauses, turning away from Kate, considering her words carefully before she spoke, as she always did. A habit that set her and Kate at opposite ends of the playing field. This time, Juliet hesitates longer than usual. Kate expects her to harden her gaze, her tone, and reply that it isn't any of Kate's concern. After all, she was the captor, Kate the prisoner. Kate was in no position to be demanding answers.
But when Juliet turns back around, she answers calmly " I came here for professional reasons."
"You came here for a job?" Kate asks incredulously. "You came here voluntarily? For a job?" Kate regrets the scorn in her voice almost instantly, as an unmistakable emotion clouds Juliet Burke's eyes. Regret. Something Kate Austen is all too familiar with. In that moment, Kate wishes that she was more like Juliet. That she would learn to hold her tongue instead of foolishly uttering the very first thing that came in to her head.
"Yes." Juliet answers, in an emotionless flat tone. She could not honestly look Kate in the eye and declare it had been any other way. Yes, now she was a prisoner at Ben's mercy, no better off that Kate herself. But she had got herself into this mess. She had accepted the job, she had willingly consumed the sedative, she had woken up in that sub, dazed and confused, emerging from the dark cabin out into this living nightmare. She had not been kidnapped, she had not been dragged by force. She can not even claim that she had been deceived. No one lied to her. 'Not exactly in Portland.' They had freely admitted.
"Must be some high paying job." Kate remarks, still unable to fathom why someone as obviously talented as Juliet would choose to hide away in a godforsaken place like this.
Juliet makes no response.
"Or are there...other benefits?" Kate suggests.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Juliet demands. And piece by piece the cold calculating veneer of Juliet Burke is falling away. She is defensive, irritated, almost angry. Kate has managed to push her buttons. Juliet is visibly disturbed by the implication she was romantically involved with one of the others, Ben perhaps. And Kate doesn't know what to make of this.
"I just find it difficult to imagine anyone would choose to come here for a job." Kate shrugs. While she is enjoying the fact that she has unnerved Juliet, something inside tells her not to push it too far.
"You clearly have no understanding of the importance of my work. Thank God you're not in charge of medical research." Juliet snaps back at her.
"Research? What research could you possibly be dong here that's of such great importance to the world. Tell me, I really want to know." Kate can't help the smile creeping across her face at causing Juliet to snap.
Juliet takes a deep breath "Maybe some other time, Kate. " Her voice is calm, she has regained her composure, but only just. She is determined to play it cool, not to let Kate Austen get under her skin. After all, why should Juliet care at all about anything Kate Austen thinks? And yet Kate's condemnation weighs heavily upon her. The unvoiced allegation that Juliet must have been pretty damn stupid to end up in a place like this. Juliet longs to tell Kate the truth, to tell her every last thing, to tell her that she was just as much a prisoner as Kate was. Juliet can't decide which prospect horrifies her more- Kate thinking she is evil and one of the 'others' by choice, or Kate thinking she is foolish and pathetic and a powerless prisoner at Ben's mercy. And more than that, Juliet can't work out just why she cares the first thing about Kate's opinion of her.
"Really, Juliet. I want to know why you came here." Kate persists. But there is no taunting in her voice this time. Only genuine curiosity. Almost compassion.
"Why did you?" Juliet demands, turning the question back on Kate. Moments too late she realises the stupidity of her own question. Kate had frazzled her, backed her into a corner. She lost her cool. And she can't explain why. How many times had people tried to taunt her into breaking? None succeeded. None, but for Kate. Juliet knows she should have walked away, about ten minutes ago. Just calmly walked out and slammed the door and left Kate Austen pondering over her questions. And Juliet can not, for the life of her, imagine why she did not do so.
"My plane crashed." Kate answers smugly, knowing that Juliet knows it all too well. That Juliet knows more about Kate than she dares to imagine. "Crash landed right here. Right in the middle of your precious world changing research project. Now I'm stuck here, I guess."
"Lucky for me." Came the sarcastic reply.
"So what now?" Ordinarily Kate wouldn't bother with the questions, none of these people, Juliet least of all, were known for giving a straight answer. It's not even that Kate really wants the answers anymore. But her questions seem to be having an unsettling effect on Juliet. Kate finds that satisfying. And enticing. "Now I'm one of your prisoners?"
"It doesn't have to be that way, Kate. You'd make things a lot easier for yourself if you co-operate with us. We don't have to be on the opposite sides of this war." Juliet tells her calmly.
"You want me to turn on my own people? Join you and your bunch of psychopaths doing god knows what crazy things on this damn island?"
Ignoring the insults about the 'others', after all Kate was spot on, Juliet asks Kate a question. "You're awfully concerned about "your people". What makes them your people? Your plane crashed? Big deal. They are strangers to you. You think any of them give a shit about you, Kate?" They don't care about you, Juliet wants to say. They don't, but I do. Juliet forces herself to take a deep breath, preventing too much emotion creeping into her voice.
Kate is silenced momentarily by Juliet's words. Juliet can tell precisely the thing running through Kate's mind as the seed of doubt is planted. Where is Jack? Where is Sawyer? Why haven't they come to rescue me? Have they left me for dead? Sold me out for their own freedom? Why the hell not? Has anyone ever put themselves out for me, ever? Only one, Tom. And look what he got for his troubles.
"There is no way out Kate, I tell you this for your own good. Make the best of it. You're a smart woman. You know when you're beaten. This island is a harsh place. We all know it. But don't despair. Life is a hell of a lot better on this side of the fence, trust me."
"Is it?" Kate asks sceptically.
Juliet hesitates again. Unable to remember a time she had engaged with another human being on such a raw and honest level.
Is it? Juliet asks herself silently. It is safer. Let's face it, Ben has all the power, the knowledge, the way off this island. Ben is holding all the cards. Ben controls this island. The only reason Kate and her 'people' are still alive is because Ben allowed it. So, yes, life is better on Ben's side than against him.
Still, Juliet feels that rebellious part of her stirring. There was something almost romantic, honourable, of the whole crusade against the 'others'. Something breathtakingly beautiful about the way they banded together, strangers at the time of the crash, enduring beatings for one another, prepared to die for one another. A fact that Ben often used to his advantage. Juliet asks herself if she would lay down her life for any of her people on the island. No. Would any lay down their lives for her? Not one would lift a finger. Every man for himself. Life. Just life. Where did all that loyalty and camaraderie get those crash survivors? Dead, or imprisoned. And yet part of Juliet longs for a life like that. The stupidity and recklessness of it all. Fighting for something righteous. Just what would that feel like?
"So your own comfort, your own survival, takes priority over every other thing?" Kate asks, as if she has read Juliet's thoughts. Kate isn't challenging Juliet for the sake of being cruel. She wants to know the answer. Somehow she feels like Juliet should understand her. "Do you really think it's ok to put your own needs above doing the right thing? To stand by and watch people beaten and tortured and imprisoned and killed all to make life easier for yourself?"
The words stung. Because, yes, Juliet thinks it's quite alright with her. She would gladly stand by and let Ben do whatever he wished, if only it would lead her back to Rachel and Julian. And after all, it's not like Juliet orchestrated this whole thing. Ben was the one in charge, and he would accomplish his goals with or without Juliet's help. Why sacrifice herself? There was no stopping him. She could turn against him and only find herself killed. He wouldn't be stopped. He couldn't be. Where was the crime in looking after herself?
But, afraid Kate would not understand, afraid Kate would look at her as if she was the most evil selfish person who ever walked the earth, Juliet doesn't defend her position aloud. Instead, to take the heat off herself, she launches her own cruel attack on Kate.
Juliet forces herself to laugh in Kate's face. "You, of all people, are going to sit there and talk to me about right and wrong? As if you never hurt anyone in your life Kate? As if people haven't lost their lives to accomplish your own agenda? I hardly think you're in any position to lecture me."
Kate recoils, as if she has been slapped in the face. And Juliet feels almost remorseful, somewhere underneath the relief that she has finally regained her position of power.
"I've made mistakes." Kate admits. "All the more reason to do the right thing now. And I'd rather die than become a traitor my own people." Kate proclaims with fiery determination in her eyes.
Something in her determined words angers Juliet. Foolish girl. It was a stupid choice. And yet, Juliet almost envies her strength of conviction.
"Well, what can I expect? You have nothing to live for." The words are cruel, Juliet knows. And yet she can't help but say them. Can't help but want to hurt Kate with words the way Kate has hurt her. "You wanna die Kate? Then die. But some of us have something to live for."
Juliet stands to her feet then, silently. Turning her back on Kate, Juliet closes the door with a soft click as she leaves the infirmary. Kate is left with only questions, as the delicate footsteps echo abruptly down the hallway before dissolving into lonely silence.