20

Starsky was whimpering in his sleep, his head rolling from side to side on the white pillow as Traff stood at the door to the small hospital room and heaved a deep steadying sigh. Hutch was collapsed against the side of his partner's bed, his forehead resting on the mattress where sleep had overtaken him and he'd not had the strength to get himself back to his own bed. Bruises stood out lividly over his bare back and the parts of the arms Traff could see, and the drip line was still attached to his right arm. It was a picture he'd seen before. The two men injured and seeking to comfort each other. If they'd been dying they'd have found some way to be together, and Traff was grateful now that they had such a strong bond. They would certainly need it to get through their recovery and to deal with the memories he was about to explain. Traff admired their friendship. As close as he was to certain guys on the base, he'd never seen two men closer than these two. Traff had his own friends at the army base but nothing compared to the bond between Starsky and Hutch and he was just happy that the guy he'd dragged out of the jungle in 'Nam and had helped nurse back to health had got himself someone as close as the blond man.

The soldier took a moment to gather his thoughts. How do you tell two virile, handsome and overtly sexy men that they'd suffered the worst possible type of abuse? What would their reaction be? How would he cope if he was told? Difficult as his task was, he had to agree with M'Benga. If they had to find out, it was better coming from a friend rather than them wake in a cold sweat one night, alone and trying to piece together their fractured memories. He walked quietly into the room and pulled up a chair at the other side of the brunette's bed, sitting and waiting patiently till both men woke up.

In the quiet of the room, Traff's blood boiled at the thought of the treatment his two friends had endured.

As he and Marsh, Chang and Fernandez had worked over the two bodies in the arena, Dobey had directed the operation of arresting, transporting and delivering witnesses and suspects to the Metro. He'd looked at the fierce determination on the black man's face and had thanked his lucky stars that Dobey was on their side. He looked mighty pissed and Traff would not have liked to have gotten on the wrong side of him at that particular moment.

But then he'd looked up again and Dobey wasn't there any more, although Traff had very little time to assimilate the fact. He was busy trying to get life back into the broken brunette body. It wasn't until the paramedics had arrived and taken charge of the two unconscious men that Traff had managed to stand stiffly and look around him at the general scene of ordered confusion. He and Marsh and the four other detectives who'd been under cover that night had waited until the bodies were loaded onto stretchers and carried away before wondering what to do next. The walls of the fighting pit were high. They'd jumped down from the seats in their desperation to get to the two detectives, but there was no prospect of them climbing out of it again. They looked around the perimeter of the arena and made their way through the door at the side. They'd found themselves in a dim corridor that lead to another hallway full of white, glass fronted and empty cells. As they continued down it, they'd caught a glimpse of a rapidly retreating back, encased in a white coat and Fernandez had given chase, pulling his weapon and shouting for the medic to freeze.

The grey haired doctor had done as he was told and had stood stock still as the detectives had cuffed him and taken him roughly to one of the patrol cars, as he mumbled curses and excuses. The other patrol cars were being filled with six white uniformed orderlies and another, richly dressed and supremely confident looking man who was demanding that someone call his lawyer. In the thick of it was Dobey and as Traff and his party appeared with the doctor in tow, the police captain looked at him with a look of pure hatred.

'Matwick! How the hell did you get mixed up in all this?' he ground out.

'D'ya know him Captain?' Traff asked as he stood by the black man's side.

'Know him? Yeah, Starsky and Hutchinson put him away three years ago for experimenting on mental patients at Cabrillo. It was in all the papers. I thought they'd locked him up and thrown away the key. Obviously not! With him on the scene, it's all beginning to make sense'. Dobey walked towards the doctor and Traff turned away, incensed at what he'd been witness to that night and deeply shaken by having to watch two of his closest friend try to kill each other.

Traff shook himself from his memories as the brunette in the bed trembled himself awake with a hoarse and painful croak. Starsky's one opened eye looked around the room and finally focussed on the blond at his side, not realising for the moment that Traff was there as the soldier sat on his temporarily blinded side. The soldier watched as Starsky reached out a hand and ruffled the golden hair, shaking his partner awake. Hutch looked up, bleary eyed and saw Traff. He smiled at his two friends and the curly haired cop turned his head to see what his partner was looking at.

'Well don't you two look a picture?' Traff chuckled as he looked at the two bruised and bloody men. 'How're ya doin'?'

Starsky put his thumb up and grinned, it being too painful to talk and Hutch smiled gently at him and then at Traff.

'I think he means thanks' the blond said simply.

'Aw shucks! I'd say it was nothing, but to be honest, the sight of you two in that arena – well…..' He saw the look of pain flash across Hutch's handsome face and hurriedly changed the subject.

'Dobey says he'll be in later. He's still busy booking and interviewing. I phoned Huggy and he's baking the cake with the file in it to spring you both soon'.

Starsky put his thumb up again in an emphatic "I'm out of here" gesture and the soldier laughed. 'Jeez, somethin' that finally shut him up huh?' His face fell as he remembered his mission.

'I saw your doctor earlier' he said cautiously.

'Yeah, he seems like a good man' Hutch said.

'He…erm….he said your memories would all start coming back…like, you'd remember everything that went on eventually'.

The blond dry wiped his face. 'Peachy…then I get to relive how I nearly killed my partner over and over again in crystal clarity' he said dryly.

Starsky reached up and swatted the blonde's arm, rolling his eyes and making it quite clear that Hutch should drop that particular subject once and for all. But there was something else on the injured man's mind and he tried to get his voice to sound the words.

'Somethin' else' he rasped, his eyes searching Traff's face, a look of alarm crossing his own. His dreams had been painful and, he realised belatedly, too detailed to be just dreams.

Traff looked down at his hands. 'Yeah there was something else. There's something I need to tell ya, and it'll be hard for ya to hear. But shit…you're gonna end up remembering anyway'.

Hutch stiffened. 'Why do I get the feeling I'm not gonna be over the moon?' he said softly.

The soldier gave a crooked smile. 'Coz that's about the size of it Pal. The Doctor asked me to talk to you about other things that happened at that club. Stuff they discovered whilst you were being examined in the ER. Um….guys…..you were…um…..sexually assaulted'. He said slowly, so that there could be no confusion in the meaning of the words.

There was such a silence in the room that they could have heard a pin drop. Both Starsky and Hutch stared back at the soldier as if he'd just grown two heads. Slowly the blond started to shake his head, his hand trembling as he played with the edge of Starsky's sheet.

'No…..no, that can't be! I'd remember somethin' like that surely. They wouldn't….they….' but memories were beginning to surface. Memories of two big men and a locked door, and he closed his eyes, trying to block them out. He put his head in his hands, his elbows propped on the edge of the bed.

'The bastards' he whispered. 'Those fuckin' bastards. Shit…I remember….I tried to stop 'em, but they kept on at me and they were too strong. Oh my God!….they…..' the blond closed down into his own black world as a tentative hand reached out and stroked the back of his head. He lifted his head wearily and looked into his partner's face, seeing the pain there. 'Oh shit Starsk, not you too?'

The brunette nodded sadly. He'd had a heads up on his treatment, the memories of the painful and degrading violation insinuating themselves into his nightmares. Memories of hands on his body; touching and probing; hands that were rough and hurt him. Invasions into the very core of his being.

Together the two friends tried to assimilate the information, exploring their shattered memories for the painful detail. Confront it. That's what they knew they had to do. But how do you confront something like that? How do you get over something so mind blowingly disturbing?

'Thanks'

The word rasped out accompanied by a hacking cough that left the brunette curled up again as he nursed his aching ribs.

'What? Thanks for breaking the devastating news that you were both raped! Jeez Curly!' Traff spat, bitterly.

'No, he means thanks for having the courage to tell us' Hutch said carefully. 'I couldn't have heard it from anyone else'. A look of alarm passed over his face. 'Does anyone else know? Does Dobey? Oh fuck – do the rest of the guys?' Hutch's stomach fluttered in panic as he thought of the faces, the platitudes and the comments behind raised hands as he walked through the squad room. That was even worse than the violation. Memories he knew he'd have to cope with. But to have to face the men he worked with day in and day out; watching the horror and sympathy in their eyes! He shuddered.

'No, there's only me knows' Traff assured them both. 'Doc M'Benga said he wouldn't tell anyone else without your permission. There's only him and one other nurse knows and he even went so far as to say he'd omit it from his report if that what you wanted. He's a good guy. Seems to understand a lot'.

'Need to talk to Utch' Starsky croaked painfully. 'Sorry Traff….private?'

Wearily, the soldier got up and walked to the door. 'Yeah I know. Take your time guys, I'll be outside. Take your time huh? And remember, if needs be, the secret is safe with me'. He left, the two detectives sitting in silence for a while as each man tried to work through the maelstrom of images assailing their minds.