Thank you dear friends for all your kind comments on this, one of my darkest stories yet. I was nervous about publishing, especially as the subject matter is...erm...delicate! But your reviews have encouraged me throughout and I feel happy and humbled that you have given up precious time to read.

I hope that you find the solution to this problem...fitting!

22

They drove in silence for a while, each lost in their own thoughts. At the hospital it had all seemed so easy. They would keep quiet and say nothing and everything would dim with time so that it became a distant and blurry memory of a violation that had happened almost to someone else. When they'd gotten back home, they'd gravitated towards Starsky's pad, neither admitting to the other that they would prefer not to be alone, and it had been a natural progression for them to go back to work together. Even in the privacy of their home, it had been almost easy to try to pretend that their experiences had never happened – that they belonged to some other sicko's past.

But now, back in the cold hard real world, with no door between them and reality, every word, every look and every nuance held different meaning for them, always suspicious that someone knew their guilty secret. As though they'd asked for the violation and as though they were the ones who brought it on themselves. Of course they knew logically that that wasn't the case, but psychologically they had been badly damaged and they would have to spend long hours, days and even years before the memories would sit more comfortably in their heads. and the most painful truth was that they would never, ever go fully away.

Their mental perambulations were interrupted by the voice from the dash board

'Zebra three, zebra three, come in please'

Hutch jumped then snickered self consciously. He reached for the microphone. 'Zebra three. What d'ya want Minnie honey?'

'Reports of a disturbance at 1887 West Handley. Please be advised shots fired. Be careful guys'.

'Zebra three we are responding. Out'. Hutch tugged the mars light from its place under his seat and slammed it onto the roof of the car as Starsky executed a wheel screaming U turn in the road, accompanied by the honking of horns from other road users who'd swerved to avoid them. Gunning the big V8 engine and pushing his foot to the metal, they set off for the destination, arriving scant minutes later.

As they approached the address, they heard another shot ring out from the first floor window of the two storey building. The sign above the door read PORTNEY PRIVATE CLINIC. The brunette pulled the car to a stop and both detectives pulled their weapons from holsters, checking the ammo and clicking off the safeties. this was a world they understood - a world of perps and guns, not personal rape and angry memories. For the moment they could focus on something else other than their own damaged minds. With guns in hand, they got out of the car, using the doors as shield until they could better establish what was going on.

'One shot, window to the upper left' Hutch reported through the open body of the car.

'Gotcha. Some guys just come running out of the side door. Cover me' Starsky said, waiting for the curt nod before setting of in a low, crouching run towards the corner of the building. As he got there, he heard a scream from the upstairs window and watched as the blond scurried over to join him.

'How long before the black and whites get here?' he panted, looking around for cover and other signs of life.

Starsky wrinkled his nose. 'Too long. Sounds like a pitch battle in there. D'we go in?'

'Ya need to ask?' Hutch replied wryly. He'd never known his partner yet shy away from confrontation. 'On three? One, two, three'.

Both men headed for the open front door of the building and Hutch ducked across the opening as Starsky leaned his back against the lintel. At a nod, Hutch aimed high into the reception hall, the brunette crouching and covering the lower portion of the space. There was no-one in sight and cautiously they entered, senses questing back and forth as they tried to get a measure of the space.

There was silence for a while as the detectives systematically searched the lower rooms before taking the steps up to the first floor. Turning to the left they set off along the long white corridor past treatment rooms and clinical rooms. The sight of them made Starsky shiver, the shudders running down his spine as he saw the medial tables, the dentist type chairs and the rows of gleaming instruments. He swallowed hard and hauled his mind back to the job in hand.

There was another shot and a scream and Hutch, who was a little ahead of his partner froze, his hand up, elbow bent and fist closed in the universal sign of "hold on". Slowly he edged forward and ducked his head quickly round an open doorway, ducking back equally quickly. Starsky joined him and they hunkered down.

'Two guys, three women' the blond hissed. Both guys dressed in orderlies uniforms. One guy has the women covered with a gun, looks like a .22. The other guys doesn't look armed, but I didn't get a good enough look'.

Starsky rolled his eyes. 'I hate sloppy workmanship. Lemme see' he swapped places with the big blond and quickly peeped around the door, pulling his curly head back and leaning it back against the wall, his eyes closed. Hutch watched as the jaw worked, the muscles contracting and relaxing as the brunet tried to get some semblance of control. The stormy indigo eyes opened.

'D'ya see who they are, the guys?'he asked his blond partner.

'No, didn't get chance. I just clocked the gun. Why?'

'Well, I could be mistaken, but I don't usually forget the guy who fucked me' Starsky said wryly.

'You mean……those guys are…..and they're…..fuck!'

'Ya wanna use a different expression there Blintz?' Starsky snorted.

'So what? We storm in there? How'd they get here? What're they….never mind, I'll ask 'em after we've arrested 'em'.

'Right, well, we go on three then?'

'Uh huh. One, two……'

'Hang on hang on. On three? Or like one, two three and then go?'

Hutch glared. 'Starsk, how many years have we been partners?'

'Six'

'And how many times do I have to tell ya?'

The brunet snickered. 'Every single time Blondie. One, two, THREEEEEEE'.

The detectives charged in, guns drawn as the two white uniformed men looked up. The three women screamed and dived for cover as the four men faced each other off. Uniform #1 pointed his gun at Starsky who ducked for cover behind the bed as uniform #2 shot at Hutch. The shot went wild and gave the blond the time he needed to loose a shot of his own, hitting the man in the upper thigh. He went down with a scream, clutching his leg and panting as his friend set off another shot at the curly head poking above the bed. Starsky ducked down again as Hutch's canon spat into life once more.

A bloody, red rimmed hole appeared in Uniform #2's forehead and he slumped lifelessly to the ground as the two detectives surged forward to the survivor. As Hutch went to comfort the three women who were still whimpering and huddled together at one side of the room, Starsky walked forward and looked down at the man on the ground. The uniform looked up, recognition in his eyes.

'You!'

'Oh yeah. Blue's back. 'N' Blue aint got the drug in his system now. Ain't got the cuffs 'n' the collar 'n' the easy access to what you sick puppies wanted. And hey, look, Green's here too. A matching set. What say we have a little game of our own huh? Ain't no-one around, and you don't have the cattle prod with ya'

Starsky knelt down by the uniformed man and lowered his voice. 'We can get rid of the ladies, then it'll be equal won't it? Just me an' Hutch an' you. Just like old times, 'cept this time you'd be on the receiving end. How's about that huh? Special or what?'

'Starsk, you're frightening the poor man' Hutch said mildly as he ushered the three women out of the room with instructions to go downstairs and wait for the black and whites to arrive.

Starsky straightened and turned to his partner.

'Aint dat a shame' he drawled. 'We wouldn't want ta….' He ducked as a shot rang out through the room and looked quickly back over his shoulder.

The detectives' rapist had taken the law very much into his own hands. In the split second it had taken the brunette to stand and turn, he'd made a mad grab for his gun, put it beneath his chin, and pulled the trigger.

The remains of the man's head, his blood and brain matter along with fragments of bone were now splattered like modern art around the room and the headless body lay splayed on the ground.

Starsky staggered back in disbelief.

'Oh my God!' he muttered as Hutch came to stand at his side.

The blond looked stunned. 'I remembered their faces. It just came to me when I saw them. They were the ones who had me in my cell'.

'Yup, they're the fuckers who….well….who did it' the brunette agreed in hushed tones. Although he'd fantasised about killing his rapists, he'd never for one moment thought he'd have to put his fantasies into practice. Thetwo stared down at what was left of their attacker, trying to assimilate the situation.

'You know, I feel kinda empty. Like it's a hollow sort of victory' Hutch said wonderingly and in a hushed tone.

'How d'ya mean?'

'Well, usually when we catch a perp, there's a trial and a sentence for them. It kinda puts the whole thing at an end for the vic, ya know?'

'And now they won't be having a trial' Starsky agreed, looking at the carnage around him. 'Well, not in this world anyhow' he added with a wry smile. 'I know what you mean. There needed to be an end to it. Like a period, so as we can get on with our lives'.

The blond nodded and whisted softly. 'Yeah, well, thats some conclusion' He looked around the room again and snorted as he saw the blood and bodies. He blew his cheeks out in a deep sigh.

'Ya know Starsk. The psychologists have a name for this. And I think in this case its fitting. Its called closure' he said quietly.

'Uh huh! I'd say that was one pretty damned big closure. D'ya feel any better?' Starsky asked.

'Not as you'd notice, but I sure as hell am happy we know where those two guys are. At least I feel now that I can begin to get my head back in order. I wouldn't have killed 'em out of choice, but I'm not sure I could ever have forgiven them either'.

'Well, we don't have to make that choice any more, do we? And the secret, as they say, goes to the grave!' Starsky gave one last look at the two corpses and then sighed as he and his partner turned their backs and walked out of the room, closed the door on their memories and set out to continue their lives.

Epilogue

'No, please don't….no…no…..no more' the voice moaned, low and pitiful into the pillow as the blond sweat soaked head lobbed from side to side. 'No, ya fuckers, I'll kill ya I'll…..NOOOOO'

The shout woke him up and Hutch lay on his bed, shaking and panting as the nightmare receded back into his memory. Without thinking he reached for the phone and almost subconsciously punched in the familiar numbers.

'Lo' a sleepy voice at the other end answered.

'Starsk? Sorry buddy……didn't mean to….ya know…..'

At the other end of the phone, the brunette opened his eyes and rolled over onto his back, the receiver wedged against his ear.

'Ya had another one buddy?'

'M'sorry Gordo. Go back t'sleep ok?'

'Blintz, ya need me t'come over huh?'

'Nah, so'k ….just pissed off that every time I close my eyes I remember…..you know'.

Starsky swung his feet over the bed and rubbed his fingers through his hair. 'I'm comin' over. Not sleepin' much either. Break out the beer an' set up the board. Monopoly calls' he mumbled stifling a yawn.

'So'k Starsk you don't have to…..oh shit what'm I sayin. Yeah, I just need……forget it. I just wanted to hear……' the sentence ended in a sigh.

'Hey, I'm glad to hear you too partner' Starsky said easing himself back into bed and lying down. 'Just talk for a while huh?' he said as he closed his eyes and listened to his partner's silly voice.

And that was how it was for months after. Falling asleep to the sound of their voices in their ears. Comfort. Friendship. And a knowledge that they were safe together again.

fin

And tomorrow night, don't miss "Achinu". Written for Angie. Nicks back - and he's found religion!