Title: Ryan Needs Out
Summary: Ryan is fed up of being with Kelly and wants out. Only problem is that he doesn't know how…
Pairings: well… sort of RyanJimness
Disclaimer: I don't own The Office US or any of the characters… blah blah blah… hell and mayhem…
Chapter 2
Ryan left work that day in a state, his nerves scratching at his brain. How the heck was he going to pull this off? Sure, he had full confidence in Jim's ability to get this done, but would he be able to be convincing enough for Kelly? He couldn't even believe he was so desperate to need to do it in the first place. That night Ryan couldn't sleep because he was thinking so much about tomorrow. In the morning he was almost shaking as he walked towards the Dunder Mifflin building. He couldn't stop fidgeting as he waited for the elevator. Just as he steps inside, he hears a familiar voice call, "Hold it please!" Ryan holds the doors open so that Jim can run in. as the doors close they lock in the awkwardness Jim brought.
"You ready?" Jim asks after a few seconds of silence.
"Yeah…" Ryan replies, the worry clear in his voice.
"Do you need one more practice run?" Ryan looks at Jim and instantly averts his gaze. He shakes his head and mutters, "No… we did enough of that last night." Jim nods and coughs awkwardly. "We're doing this straight away, right?" Ryan asks.
"Yeah; you sure about this?" Ryan nods, "I don't think I can hold my sanity a day longer with her around." Jim chuckles. The doors open and they both step out of the elevator, and begin to walk to their office. "I mean, how the heck can you do it? You're so… convincing…" Ryan asks incredulously. Jim just shrugs and smiles in response. They open the door and Jim goes to say hi to Pam, who's already there. Ryan takes off his coat and walks over to his desk. Kelly is there and stands up and hugs him enthusiastically. He remains rigid in her grip. He pulls away and watches Jim come over. "Um…" Ryan begins, "I have proof I'm gay." Kelly's happy expression falters slightly.
"What?"
"I have proof." Kelly's eyes flick to Jim, before focusing on Ryan. After taking a deep breath, Ryan turns to Jim and grabs his collar. Their eyes meet and Ryan pulls hard on the fabric in his grasp, pulling Jim into a passionate kiss. He puts all effort into it to make it as convincing as possible, and is slightly grateful that Jim is putting in a lot of energy too. Almost too much energy. Ryan tries to forget that it's a man that he's kissing, and instead thinks about models and random girls he had at one point fancied, but his thoughts quickly revert back to Jim. In horror and disgust, Ryan finds himself enjoying the kiss, despite it not being a girl. He can feel Jim pressing his hands lightly on his chest, indicating that he should stop, but for some reason Ryan finds himself unable to. Jim presses harder on him and he finally lets go of the other's collar. As he looks into Jim's eyes, it's almost as if Jim was asking, "Why did you hold onto that kiss?" He hears a quiet sob from Kelly, and turns to see tears in her eyes. "You… you asshole!" she screams, running from the office. However, she's not the only one that's upset about the kiss. Kathy is standing at her desk, her eyes brimming with tears. "Jim…" Ryan says, indicating Dunder Mifflin's new-ish recruit. Jim looks and begins to walk towards her, but she shakes her head and follows Kelly out of the office. Pam, oddly, remains emotionless at her desk, unmoving. Luckily for everyone, Michael isn't there yet.
Ryan sits at his desk and tries to ignore the stares he is receiving from everyone present in the office, apart from Jim, who was also trying to bury his head in the sand. "It could have gone worse… oh, who am I kidding? Not only does Kelly now loath me, Kathy will more likely than not hate me and Jim's relationship with her is obviously over." Ryan slowly resigns himself to sitting in silence at his desk, his head resting on his folded arms. Michael doesn't turn up for another hour, but Ryan doesn't hear his excuse. The only good thing about being in this corner was that he would not be disturbed by anyone, apart from Kelly, but she wasn't there.
Upon Michael's arrival, Ryan starts work, but his concentration is constantly being bombarded by thoughts of the kiss. Briefly he touches his lips thoughtfully, but then pulls them back as if they were on fire. Why was he thinking of the kiss?! Groaning in frustration, Ryan squeezes the bridge of his nose with this index finger and thumb. Realising he wouldn't concentrate just yet, he decides to get some coffee to clear his mind. As he walks up to the machine and puts his money in, none other than Jim walks into the room. The tension is almost tangible as Jim approaches the coffee machine. Ryan can almost feel the other's hot breath on the back of his neck. Without turning around, Ryan mumbles, "I'm sorry about Kathy, it completely slipped my mind that…" he trails off. He takes his coffee from the machine and turns around, almost spilling the hot beverage because of the close proximity between him and Jim. "Oh, it's okay. I'm sure she'll forgive me." Ryan smiles thinly and nods, walking out the room with Jim's eyes on his back all the time.
"I have to stop thinking about that kiss! It was wrong! But… it felt…sort of… right… NO! It was not right, get over it!" Ryan thinks furiously, back at his desk. His anger causes the pencil in his hand to snap, and he stares at it in confusion, before throwing it away. "God damn it, suck it up man! Where the heck has all this angst come from?! You just escaped a possibly life-threatening relationship, you should be happy." And yet he wasn't. For some reason the kiss kept springing up, and Ryan was trying anything to prevent it from doing so, but nothing would work. By lunchtime Ryan had already had four cups of coffee, and he still felt dead. Lame as it sounded, he felt like crap when he didn't see Jim. He was almost tempted to leave for the rest of the day.
Standing to get another coffee, he sees Kathy back at her desk, and he then notices Jim staring at her intently. To his embarrassment and discomfort, he finds an odd jealousy form. But of course he was jealous of Kathy, he wanted her to himself… right. "Oh who am I kidding?!" Ryan thinks in resignation, falling back into his chair. "Great. I have a crush on Jim Halper. JIM HALPER. A MAN." Ryan lets his head drop into his hands, where he holds it tightly, for fear of losing it. He stands again and walks to the coffee machine for the sixth time that day (he had almost got there before but Jim had been there and he found himself unable to put his money in the slot, his hands were shaking so much, so he just gave up.) and to his ever growing dismay, he sees Jim stand and follow him. Kathy's eyes widen and she looks back to her work, brushing her tears away.
Again Ryan finds his hands begin to shake as he lifts the coins to put them in for his coffee, and in embarrassment, drops most of them on the floor as he feels Jim push lightly into him from behind. "Oh, sorry, uh… Kevin just went past." Ryan nods and bends over to pick up his dropped money. He curses himself and his nerves, and the butterflies in his stomach. His hands refuse to steady themselves yet again and Ryan finds himself slowly losing patience. He then feels a hand on his own, and watches Jim take the money and put it in himself. "Th-thanks." Ryan stutters. "Nice going there, idiot." He thinks to himself. He takes his coffee and hurries out of the room, making no eye contact with anyone, especially Kathy, who was glaring at him with a fire unknown to Ryan, or any of the other office workers.
To Ryan's misfortune, he finds Kelly sitting back at her usual place, her eyes glued to the computer screen. She appears not to notice Ryan, or if she does, she ignores him completely. This however is not a problem for Ryan, as he needs all the silence he can get. Throughout the rest of the day Ryan can only hit the keys on his keyboard one at a time, painfully slow. He manages to type half a page of stocks and shares before giving up. With half an hour before the day ends Ryan decides a much needed rest is in order. He lays his head down and tries to clean his mind. In the end he just settles for a light nap, despite it being plagued by the kiss' sensation and false passion.
A person's hand on his shoulder jogs him out of his dreams and makes him jump sharply. He looks up to see Jim standing above him, concern written across his face. Ryan stands abruptly and glances at the clock, it's half an hour after closing time. Ryan rubs his temples and bends to pick up his bag. "You okay?" Jim asks.
"Yeah," Ryan lies drearily, "Never better." Come on! Try to be more convincing that that! "You got rid of Kelly, and that's the main thing." Jim says with a sigh. Ryan looks at his colleague with a frown. "That sounds like there were other things apart from the main thing." (Does that even make sense?) "There weren't, were there?" Ryan asks. Jim looks at him oddly, before turning away with a laugh, "You're thinking too much about it." Ryan remains silent while getting his things together. That done, he blurts out, "Can I kiss you again… for practice" Jim stares for a moment before laughing. "I-I didn't meant t-that!" Ryan stumbles over the denial. Of course he meant it. "Why would we need another practice?" Jim asks with a chuckle. "We don't!" Ryan says desperately. What if Jim realised the kiss meant more to Ryan than it was supposed to. Ryan strides past Jim, keeping his head down, out of the office.
Pacing around back at home, Ryan tries to get Jim out of his thoughts. Gripping his head tightly, he tries to shake the thoughts physically out of his head. It fails to work. Go figure. Falling back on the sofa, Ryan feels his eyes suddenly grow heavy despite the amount of coffee consumed that day. He closes his eyes for the final time and curls up on his couch, already too sleepy to walk to his bed.
Hooboy… sorry if this disappoints… I am aware that Ryan is TOTALLY out of character here but I'm not too sure of how to go about the situation. Thanks for the comments! Much love! I'll put up another chapter when I have to chance to write some more. Thank you for reading!!