The snails were, well, gross. I only managed to eat two of them before I had to stop. Edward slid his stew across the table to me, and silently took my plate. I ate the stew, and he somehow made the snails disappear. I wasn't sure where he put them and I wasn't sure I wanted to know. So I finished the stew without asking questions.
"Are you ready to go?" Edward asked once the bowl was empty.
"I suppose," I answered. "Where are we going next?"
"You'll see," Edward answered. He signaled to the waiter, who came over immediately.
"Were your meals satisfactory?" The waiter asked.
"Very," Edward answered with narrowed eyes. "We are ready to leave."
"Would you like dessert?" the waiter prompted.
"I would like the bill," Edward answered.
"Very well, monsieur," the waiter said. He pulled a receipt out of his waiter's apron and handed it to Edward. "The bill has been paid for, monsieur, by a lovely lady. She asked that I give you this and then left." He also handed Edward an envelope and then bowed. "Have a lovely, evening," he said, and then he left to go in the back room.
"Who's it from?" I asked as Edward opened the letter.
"It doesn't say," Edward answered slowly. "I'm not sure."
"What does it say?" I asked.
"Enjoy your 'meal,' Edward. We will meet one day," Edward read. "It's not signed, it doesn't smell like anyone I know, and there are quotation marks around the word meal. So either someone thought the snails didn't count as food, or they know who I am. But I didn't hear anyone, or their thoughts, come in that would have left this."
"So you don't think that you know whoever left it?" I confirmed.
"I don't think so," Edward answered.
"Should we be worried?" I asked.
"You're a trouble magnet, so we probably should be," Edward answered. "Let's go."
"I'm assuming that this wasn't part of the plan?" I questioned as we stood up to leave.
Edward's serious face struggled to stay serious as the edges of his lips started to tug up into a smile.
"No, Bella," he answered, "this wasn't part of the plan."
"Well, that would be a funny thing to do," I said lightly as we walked out the door. Edward was alert and scanned the area while we waited for the valet to bring the car around.
"How so?" he asked distractedly.
"You would make me all worried and dependant on you to save me, when in reality it was just Alice or somebody who was playing the part to make me nervous." I answered.
"Yes, Bella, that is exactly what we are doing," Edward said sarcastically as the car came to a stop in front of us.
"Well, that's good to know!" I said brightly, teasing him. "I'll be sure to thank Alice when we get home."
"Home?" Edward asked skeptically as we got in the Volvo.
"I meant your house," I informed him. "It's more like home than Charlie's house."
"Be sure to thank Alice, but make sure she knows what you're talking about, because unless she saw this conversation she'll have no clue what you're talking about," Edward said.
"Are you worried?" I asked, all teasing aside.
"No," Edward said. "I'm just a little wary. I don't want anything to happen to you."
"The note was to you," I pointed out.
"While I was with you," Edward added. "They could have given me the note anytime they wanted to, but they gave it to me while I was alone with you."
"We'll be fine," I decided. "I know everything will be okay."
"So trusting," I heard Edward mutter.
"What was that?" I asked, just to make sure I heard correctly.
"Nothing," Edward answered.
"You said something," I argued. "What was it?"
"You are so trusting," Edward said. "You always have been. You trusted that I wouldn't drink from you when you finally figured out what I am, you trusted my family to not treat you like a meal, you trust that we will be fine now, you trusted the werewolves when I left the first time, you seem to trust just about anyone."
"That's how I am," I said with a shrug.
"Yet you can't trust me again," Edward sighed.
"You-" I started, and Edward interrupted.
"I deserve it, so please do not give me the reasons. I do not want to hear them right now," he said softly. "I know I was idiotic, and I know I won't earn your trust again as easily as I did the first time. I just want you to know that I am sorry and that I will stay with you. If there was a way to change you, without breaking the treaty, then I would do it. I don't know what else I can tell you to make you believe."
"You can't say anything else," I said. "Words mean nothing. Promises are just words. Easily said, easily broken, and words of love are not easily forgotten. You've promised twice not to leave me, and twice you have. Time may not even be enough to regain my trust."
"I already told you that I will do whatever I have to do to regain your trust," Edward reminded me.
"I know," I said. "But those are just words. Things change and you'll change your mind again."
"I'll follow you to-"
"No, you won't," I said. "You can't follow me, because no one in your family can be around me in case Demitri tries to find me."
"I can handle Demitri," Edward growled.
"Edward, I told you that you can't come with me," I said sternly. "If I can't become a vampire because of the treaty, then everyone who Demitri knows may be with me can't be around me, and no one can know where I go to school, just in case someone like Aro comes with him and they can get the information somehow."
"I already know where you go to school," Edward said. "I got it out of Mark's thoughts."
"Alice probably knows too," I admitted.
"She doesn't," Edward assured me.
"It needs to stay that way," I commanded.
"It will," Edward promised.
We remained silent for several moments, both thinking about separate things. I sighed at one point, and Edward looked at me.
"What are you thinking about?" he asked tentatively.
"How wrong it is for me to be on a date with you while I'm married to Mark," I admitted. "I want to enjoy my time with you, but I can't because I feel so guilty."
"Mark told you to have fun," Edward pointed out.
"But he would tell me that whether he was hurt or not," I argued. "He won't ever tell me not to do something if the only reason he has to stop me is because it will hurt his feelings."
"What about me hurting you?" Edward asked. "He knows what this could do to you. He doesn't want to have to deal with the pain you'll feel if I leave again. He doesn't want you to get hurt again. He loves you too much to want you to get hurt again, but it's more of a sisterly love than anything else. He knows that your heart still belongs to me."
"So he's resigned himself to the fact that I don't love him," I summarized.
"He never doubted that you love me," Edward said. "He knows why you married him; it was for the same reason that he married you. He loves you like you're the sister he never had, but he knows that it will be best for you to return to me."
"How do I know you're not making this up?" I asked. "Just because you can read minds doesn't mean that what you're saying is true."
"Bella, he told Alice," Edward laughed. "He talked with Alice today."
"I thought that she refused to come out of her room," I said.
"She let Mark in because he wanted to talk," Edward said. "Call her right now and ask if you don't believe me. She didn't talk back, but he just spilled his heart because she was willing to listen. I got to hear about Alisiya and how he loves you like a sister, and sometimes more, but how he really wants you to be happy. He loves you enough to let you go when you want to leave. You admitted that you don't really love him."
"I love him like a brother and my best friend," I retorted. "And he deserves far more than the second woman in his life leaving him over some vampire who can't stay with his supposed love not just once, but twice. Heck, Edward, I deserve better than that. I'm sorry that you came back all this way to try to win me back, but it's going to be a long time before I trust you again, if I ever do, and then it'll be even longer while I explain to my parents and friends why I'm divorcing Mark to come back to the man who's left me repeatedly. It may just be simpler to leave well enough at well enough."
"But this isn't well enough, and you know it," Edward said. "No one's happy. You aren't, Mark isn't, and I'm not… Bella, you need to let Mark move on too. You helped him, but now he needs to move on to someone who will return his love."
I didn't have an answer for that. I hadn't seen the situation from that angle before.
"I didn't mean to have this conversation tonight, and I'm sorry," Edward apologized. "I had meant for this to be a fun evening, not one filled with arguments and strange notes and possible dangers."
"It's fine," I mumbled and looked out the window. I didn't even see the trees flying by, because I wasn't focused on them, I was too busy examining the new angle of the situation. Edward was right, as usual. It wasn't fair for me to hold him back, and that's what I was doing.
I didn't stop thinking about it until Edward slowed the car and pulled over to the side of the road.
"Where are we?" I asked.
"Close your eyes," Edward commanded. "I know you don't trust me to stay with you, but can you trust me enough to run with you on my back?"
"Do I have to leave my eyes shut?" I asked.
"Yes," Edward said. I sighed but nodded my assent.
"I think I have an idea where we are," I said as I unbuckled. Edward was out of the car and opening my door before his even slammed. I stepped out and obediently closed my eyes. Since it was dark I couldn't really see anything, but I could smell the woods, and I guessed we were going to our meadow.
Edward lifted me onto his back and took off running. It was better than I remembered. The speed, the wind, his smell… I realized that I really did miss riding on his back while he ran. Far too soon he stopped, and set me down.
"Keep your eyes closed," he whispered, and I resisted the urge to peak. He led me forward, catching me when I fell over the roots at my feet.
"Okay," he whispered, and I opened my eyes.
The meadow had never looked so beautiful. It was wonderful during the day, but when it was lit by the moon and the hundreds of tiny candles that someone had placed strategically around the clearing, it was unbelievable. A blanket sat in the middle of the clearing, and a small piano sat off to the side. Roses covered the ground and the top of the piano, and a small basket sat on the blanket. I gasped and looked at Edward, who was watching me for my reaction. He looked like he was worried that I wouldn't like it.
"It's beautiful," I told him, and he relaxed. He smiled and led me to the blanket.
"Sit here," he said, "and I'll play the piano. I wrote a few new pieces that I think you might like."
I sat, and he rushed to the piano. He tenderly lifted the lid and began the first piece.
It was frightening, the way it swelled and the combination of notes. I got goose bumps from it. I guessed he had written it when he was mad, because it seemed like he was taking his frustrations out on the piano itself.
The next piece was soft and sad. It was strange, following the first piece. It seemed so quiet and depressing. I imagined someone falling into a deep depression and no one noticing, no one caring. That was what the second piece made me imagine.
The third piece was stronger, though not happy yet. It was still depressing, but there was a slight melody that reminded me of hope. It grew more… determined, I supposed was the best word, as it progressed, and by the end it was strong and almost happy again.
As the third piece drew to what I thought was almost a close, the notes were dwindling and sounded like the typical end to a song, chaos broke out. Edward's hands flew over the keys, striking notes that were sometimes in harmony and others that were dissonant. It startled me that such a frenzied, chaotic section could be in the third piece. Suddenly, Edward switched to a major key, and the music was happy for a few seconds before falling back into the depressing melody from before.
By the time Edward finished the third piece, I was in tears. They were so lovely, yet so depressing and sad at the same time. I knew without explanation that the songs were a musical telling of what his past three years had been like.
"That's how I felt," Edward said quietly. I had to strain to hear him. "The first piece represented the time immediately following the discovery that we couldn't change you without breaking the treaty. I was so upset… I ruined a whole section of the woods when I took my anger out on the trees. The second piece represented the time after I calmed down, when I left. I fell into a depression so deep that I couldn't move. Hunting was the only activity I did, and that's only because I knew if I didn't stay well fed that I would attack a human out of hunger. But I felt like my life was over."
He stood up from his piano bench and came to join me on the blanket. "The third piece represented the time that I finally began to live again. I realized that I needed to come home. I missed my family, and I had to see if you were still here. Imagine my surprise at finding you on the side of the road. That was the chaotic portion of the song. I found you, but realized that my world was upside down. You were married, you loved another man, and I was too late. The happy part was when I realized that you didn't love Mark like you loved me. I thought I might still have a chance. But then I realized that it wouldn't be so simple. If I were to add on to that piece now, it would be a mixture of happiness and depression. I am so happy that you are even considering giving me another chance, but at the same time I am upset that I missed an opportunity. You will not be easy to convince that I will not leave again."
"I've heard that music is a way of speaking directly to a heart," I said quietly. "Your music definitely fits that."
"I really was too upset to stay," Edward said repentantly. "I loved you so much that I had to leave. I couldn't stand even a few years of looking at your face and knowing that you would grow old and die one day. Instead of staying, like I should have, I was stupid and left you, and now I'm not sure I can get you back. But, Bella, if you ever need someone, I'll be here for you. I'll always be here, always and forever."
"Thank you," I said as a fresh wave of tears started. I leaned over and lay my head on his shoulder. "The songs were beautiful, in a sad sort of way. This evening, well, it wasn't perfect at first, but it got better. Thank you for bringing me out here."
"You're welcome," Edward answered. He tentatively kissed the top of my head.
"Did you have anything else planned?" I asked.
"No," he answered. "I should probably take you home, shouldn't I?"
"Probably," I answered. He stood up and helped me to my feet before helping me onto his back again.
"I love you, Isabella," he said, but before I had a chance to respond we were running again. He got us back to the car in a few minutes, and he helped me off his back. I smiled, and his answering grin was about as wide as I've ever seen anyone grin. I could almost imagine him skipping to the other side of the car.
It had been a not-so-perfect evening, but it ended on a perfect note.
A/N: As the emails start trickling into my inbox, I'll respond to your reviews. I'm warning all of you now, though, I haven't been getting any emails since before I posted chapter 10, so you will probably receive a lot of back review replies!
Until the next chapter,
Addie