Where this story was first put up, when I was just beginning to write it, had a bit of a glitch in the system when doing so. Thus, the first three or four chapters were deleted the first time I posted it. During that timeframe, there was a bit of confusion on what exactly happened starting out, so with a little rewriting, I added the first part of this chapter in.
For those of you that already understand, congratulations, feel free to skip past Faith's musings… and I apologize if it seems like a piece of a different puzzle dropped into this one (in other words, because it wasn't originally meant to be here, it may seem a bit out of place)
Alrighty
then, here goes...
Disclaimers in first
chapter.
Faith was, of course, still sitting on the very edge of the bed. She hadn't moved out of the room to explore and see if it was, indeed, the same motel that all of her senses screamed at her that it was. She was leaned forward, head bent to stare blankly at the object in her hands. She didn't really see it, or anything at all. Her gaze remained unfocused, her concentration solely in her mind.
Okay... so what happened... What happened? I was on patrol. I know I was on patrol, but I wasn't doing a good job cause I wanted to get home and pack, to go visit B for Christmas. Even that small thought brought the barest of smiles to Faith's lips. Alright, that's straight. I know that happened. Then, I'm walking down the street, and I see a truck and a kid... and the kid runs out in front of the truck... Faith paused again and frowned down at the pendant in her hands. Now that was stupid. Yeah, I had to save her, just in case... but what kid, what real kid, would be out that late to run around in traffic, at least without parents? Whatever, it happened, can't change that. I saved her... and ended up getting slammed into by a big-ass truck. That's where it gets hazy.
Faith stared into the little pendant, so simple a thing to be a gift from a demon, girl, whatever she was. With a groan, she closed her eyes against the already raging headache. Her brain hurt just from trying to figure it out. So I get hit... and then the kid is there trying to keep me awake... I was tired. Fuck, I was dying... I died! "Holey shit, I died!" Her eyes went wide at that and she seemed to completely zone out for a minute. Only the curiosity of what the hell she was still doing here brought her back to her train of thought. I died... fuck that's hard to get around. I... I died and... and I woke up back here. What the hell happened? Okay, rewind. I'm dieing, and the kid is saying something... then I say something. Fuck, what did I say? Faith groaned. I know I made a wish that I knew things now. Why did I make a wish? What was the exact wish...
The dark haired woman growled to herself again and rubbed the jade pendant with her thumb. She vaguely remembered the "kid" saying something about deserving to die, and her trying to convince the girl otherwise. Then... "I wish I knew then what I know now." Fuck that was stupid. Never, never wish. What the hell Faith? You know better'n to make a wish. "The kid was a damned vengeance demon." She spoke aloud to herself, just to drive the point further home. Alright... I made a stupid wish... and... and died. I guess... she brought me back. I wished to know then what I know now... er... know now what I will know... or something. I guess that means she brought me back to Sunnyhell... before whatever bad choice she thought I meant...
Frightened for a moment, Faith ran quickly to the bathroom and flung the lights on, wincing at the sudden flare of florescent brightness. She winced, then looked in the mirror. No, she hadn't changed. Her hair was still in long, brown curls that reached just past her mid-back. Her face and body were still matured more than she had been as a teenager. She hadn't been thrown back into her teenage self. Reliving everything... that would have been hell. Letting out a relieved sigh, then one of frustration, she walked slowly back to the bed and fell back on it. "So what now? She said that it was up to me. If... if I can get my younger self to put this thing on... she, I, will go through all of the memories that I, me, want her, me, to know. Fuck that's confusing." She looked at the pendant. Her younger self would only know immediately what she wanted, and she could walk the younger, more volatile version of herself through it. Then other things would crop up as they were needed.
The wish was for her to know at a younger age what she already knew, not for her to be her younger self, or to be in the past. If the demon wasn't lying, if her senses weren't lying about the girl, creature, thing, whatever, having a soul, then it was true. A second chance. "It's worth a fucking shot."
It only took about five minutes for Faith to shove the pendant in her jacket pocket, shuck off a sweater, and head out the door. Scents and sounds assaulted her senses, driving home that this was, indeed, the old Sunnydale motel that she'd known so closely all that time ago. She shivered, despite not being a bit cold, and scowled, heading out toward the streets of Sunnyhell, and probably the Bronze. She'd thought she'd finally gotten away from this hellhole.
Faith still didn't know exactly when she had been dropped. For all she knew, it could be the night of the killing. Thus, though she knew that getting Buffy to break and enter was a mistake, she wanted to first check where Balthezar should be, and the alleyways. Nothing. It wasn't then. She quickly ran all over town, not even knowing the time of night, checking the school, the apartment the Mayor had set up, the docks, even Angel's old mansion. She honestly had no clue as to how she was even going to approach her younger self. If she remembered anything at all, and she knew that she did, one of the last people that young Faith was about to trust was herself, even older and "from the future."
Sighing, she walked back toward the Bronze, probably one of the first places that she should have checked. It was mostly packed, and just as she walked up, she saw a very familiar form walking out, with a lanky, fashion-victim vamp. Her... her first night in Sunnydale?! Without preamble, she made a quick decision, and threw her younger self away from the vamp and staked it without any playing or talk. The younger girl looked up, and seemed to grow silent, and defensive, in shock. It was unlike her, but also her only chance, so she merely smiled, winked at the girl, and ran. It had felt dizzying and nauseating to have even been near the younger self, and she knew the younger girl had felt it. She heard running feet behind her, and felt the same sensations creeping in again. She'd taken her own bait.
As soon as they were a long distance away from the Bronze, she turned and came to an abrupt halt. "Hey, F. How's it hangin?" She smirked, trying to play this off right, as her younger counterpart came to a skidding halt.
"What the fuck are you?"
Faith looked at her younger self. Her mind worked rapidly, turning over ideas that could possibly make this work, and discarding each of them, finally, she sighed and shrugged. "I'm you."
The teenager scoffed, and edged closer, ready to attack. "Right, tell me another one."
"You're here to see Buffy, the other slayer. You haven't had a decent time of sleep for over a month…. And it hurts so much inside, seeing what he did to her every time you close your eyes." Faith said, trying the only approach that she could really think of as being at least a little possible at working. Honesty. The younger girl jumped at her, which she was expecting. Who knew Faith better than Faith? She stepped to the side slightly and turned the jump into a throw, landing the younger girl hard on her back on the ground. "You still pray at night, begging that he doesn't find you." The younger girl jumped up and charged her again, making the older Faith toss her out of the way again. It was just like handling a cocky young slayer that B wanted her to pick up. "Your middle name is Mary." That made the younger girl actually stumble. "And right now we're both getting a sick feeling in our stomachs because I'm not supposed to be here. You had the meeting with Buffy all planned out too. She was supposed to come charging out to save you from the vamp, if she's any good at her job… then you'd stake him right in front of her, to show her that you're just as good as her. Best to be on even or better ground. Then you were gonna have the time of your life with her, the Chosen Two, evil beware."
"Fuck you!"
She sighed and looked at her younger self. "And you still miss your older brother, Chris."
"Fuck you! Stop!" The younger girl charged again, but this time the older Faith flipped her in a way that landed her on top, and managed to hold her in a tight, and probably painful lock. "Get the fuck off of me!"
"I'm you, and it was a fucking pain in the ass ending up here, so listen to me." Faith growled. "What the hell do I have to do to prove it?"
"Start by getting the fuck off of me."
Faith slowly let her go, then jumped back, watching as the younger girl struggled to stand. She was looking upset at being defeated. "If you're me, twinkie, how the fuck did you get here? And what's going on?"
"I made some mistakes… you make mistakes… it ends up ruining our life." Faith shrugged and folded her arms, watching the younger girl warily. She knew herself, and she knew that she was just as likely to walk off as listen, or attack again. "I fucked up again, but it did help in that it got me back here again. I'm supposed to do the second chance shit. Show you what you need to know to not become me… not completely at least."
Faith saw the younger self snort derisively. It did sound like something out of a cheesy comic book, admittedly, or an old B movie. "Whatever."
"So you want to spend months in a coma, and years in jail? You want to be alone forever?" Faith asked, not incredulously, but as if she knew that it was doubtful. "Fine… become everything you hate, a murderous evil minion working for a demon… kill humans… try to seduce vampires…. Hell, even go ahead and get yourself a nice little scar like this and drop off into a coma, letting those dreams plague you…." At that Faith lifted her shirt enough to display the scar that still marred the skin there, from that old fight. "I'm what you become."
"So what? You want to turn me into a damned goody-two-shoes bitch? No fucking thanks."
Faith looked up, feeling a familiar tingle up her spine. "B can't see us like this. She'll want to know things that she can't hear…. Make up your mind. Be an idiot, and make all the mistakes… turn evil and be miserable and alone forever, always the inferior, hated dark slayer…. Or take the second chance. What the fuck do you have to lose anyway? He's already here."
The younger Faith's eyes widened at that, hearing that Kakistos was already in Sunnydale, and then she frowned and looked around. She could see a blonde in the distance. "Fine." The younger girl was shocked when that strange necklace was tossed at her. "What the hell is this?"
"All you have to do is put it on." Hesitantly, seeing the blonde running to get closer, the younger faith slipped the necklace over her head, and everything went black.
TBC