Chapter 3: Understanding

Well, here I am on Coruscant again. I've stopped running. Stopped running from my fears, actually. Now I'm running towards them. Flirting with danger, that's what I'm doing. I have no idea what I'm doing here.

Listening to me.

Don't make me hurt you.

You hurt me and you hurt yourself.

Kriff.

Tsk tsk. Watch your language, Kaie.

Annoying stupid voice in my head. Do you have an off switch?

Nope.

Kriff.

What did I tell you about language?

Absolutely nothing.

I haven't realized how much I've missed Coruscant. That's strange… the ghosts from my past are so prominent here, and I love it. Am I going soft? Or going right?

Going right doesn't mean going soft.

You just refuse to make any sense.

Really. Stop talking for a minute and just listen to me. Try to make sense from what I'm saying for yourself. If you go back to the Light, you can keep your edge. Just don't kill when it isn't necessary. That was the part you dreaded when you fell, remember? The killing. You had been raised a Jedi, that was all you knew. Your job was to keep people alive. Then you fell. Your edge became sharper than ever, but you'd still had it when you were… good.

Wait… you've been with me that long?

Shh. There's nothing wrong with being good. There's everything wrong with being bad. That's what you were originally taught, if you'll let yourself remember the lessons.

Are you done?

For the moment.

Okay. You listen to me now. Yes, I was originally taught that bad is bad and good is good. And yes, that does make perfect sense. But the Dark Side… there's something alluring about it. It pulls you and pushes you and eventually you just give up and join it. And it feels so good to have all that power coursing through your body, that Dark energy completely at your disposal.

It's a web. One you were warned about.

Yes.

You ignored the warning.

Yes.

Why?

Because… I was stubborn. I was in a rebellious stage when the 'bad is bad and good is good' mantra was pounded into my head, so I didn't fully absorb what it meant.

Now we're getting somewhere.