Authors Note; Here's chapter 3 as promised. I quite like this chapter and it's a little longer than the others. I seem to be on a bit of a roll so stand by for chapter 4. I hate asking for reviews, but please leave them. I love hearing what people think of my writing and it provides what is sometimes much needed motivation.

Thanks heaps,

Rosie

As Buffy began her sweep of an area near the Bronze, her eye was drawn to a group of people surrounding a man who leaning into a woman who was cowering on the bonnet of a car. Then he hit her. Buffy stood for a second in horror as the man (she could tell that he wasn't a vampire) laid into his girlfriend, why would anyone do that? She couldn't understand it and after the third punch landed she was already behind him. Buffy grabbed him and he spun around, immediately laying in to her with punches and words. His friends started circling and one of them kicked her in the back of her knee, causing it to go weak for a second.

Fuck This

Buffy threw a punch at the main guy, not as hard as she could – he was a douche bag but she didn't want the guilt of having killed a human, but she misjudged. Her punch lightly touched him, he was going to have a pretty nasty bruise in the morning but that was all.

"Don't you touch my boyfriend, you slut!"

All of a sudden the girlfriend (ah, so her guess had been correct) joined the group of guys surrounding Buffy and started going for it as well. This was so unfair, why the fuck had she even bothered to get involved? No good deed goes unpunished...

Just as she was going to start fighting back in earnest, (she had to, seven people all drunk, high, and massively pissed off against one was a little unfair – even when that one was her) she felt the presence of a vampire getting closer, closer. Then she heard the scream of pain, following the vampire's single punch. Fuck, Spike, great. Just who she wanted to see when she was getting the crap kicked out of her by a punch of drugged up humans. Sweet deal.

She fought off her attackers in a couple of seconds and stormed off to continue her sweep.

Spike caught up with her a short time later.

"What the hell was that?!"

"What was what Spike?"

The peroxide blonde vampire was clearly pissed off, she could feel it radiating off him and she couldn't really blame him. She didn't know what had just happened back there.

"You know what's what. I head down here on my way to Willies and all I can see is you getting beaten up by a group of humans. What the hell?! So I rush up thinking that they're demons or something, chip knocks my socks off and you're casually heading off up the road, not even looking to see if I'm ok. Well that's fucking nice ain't it."

He was glaring at her waiting for a response. She didn't have one.

"I'm sorry, I thought that you could take care of yourself – obviously I was wrong."

"Hey! That's not fair!... I think that there's something wrong with you luv."

Yes, there's something wrong with me. Something is very, very wrong with me and I hate it so much.

She rolled her eyes.

"Look, there's nothing wrong with me, I'm fine – you're the one problem, probably been sober for too long and you were wigging out, seeing things on you're way to the pub. Just go and get a drink Spike. I'll be perfectly fine once I stop interfering in domestics."

Spike grabbed her, spun her around, and held her, one of his hands on each of her arms. He looked deep into her eyes, searching. She turned her head away and closed her eyes.

He shook her.

"Look at me."

She shook her head. His grip tightened.

"Spike, just leave me alone ok. Please? I just want to finish patrol and go home."

He tightened his grip even more. Then, out of nowhere, he released it but grabbed her hand and started off. He dragged her down several side streets, despite her verbal protests and weak attempts to pull herself free. He remained silent until he grabbed her again and pushed her up to a shop window that had a full length mirror in it. He held her there.

"Take a good look luv."

She stood there, staring in to the mirror. Her reflection stared back unforgiving. Besides her hair being a bit messy, she noticed that her jeans were a little torn and her top was falling apart. She had scratches, and a lot of bruises that were already healing but...

"How could you let some pathetic humans do this to you? You've taken less damage from almost every monster you've ever fought. When I saw you tonight... it looked like you were enjoying being hurt."

Spike let go of her and Buffy immediately began walking away, the tears trickling down her cheeks.

He called out.

"There's something wrong with you luv, whether or not you want to admit it."

On her way home, Buffy stopped by the 24hr liquor shop and bought a bottle of wine and one of vodka. By the time she got to her driveway she'd drunk a third of the vodka already and she almost laughed when she said in a mocking sort of way.

"Drink vodka, problem kaput ja."

There was a light on in her house, the lounge light. Who'd still be awake at this time of night? She crept up and peered through the window. Spike and Willow were talking in the lounge, serious faces, hushed tones. Oh for fucksake. She hid her booze in her bag and went through the front door.

Instantly the whispering in the next room stopped. Buffy didn't. She walked quickly up the stairs and locked herself in her room.

The first thing she did was examine her clothes, she was actually a little pissed off about the damage they'd sustained. It wasn't like she had much money to begin with and with what little extra there was she was buying booze, no, she wasn't happy about her clothes. On a brighter note, the physical damage that she'd sustained was all but gone. Good.

She grabbed her bottle of wine, popped the cork out of the window and sculled back half of it before burping. Cheap white bubbly was her happy bubbly drink, but it was better with vodka. Buffy shook the excess bubbles out of the wine and poured the vodka into the bottle, put her hand over the opening, and swished it around to mix it in. She took a swig. Not bad. She turned out her light and curled up on top of her bed, every so often raising her head high enough to sip from the bottle.

The alcohol and world pushed her down into the mattress. She welcomed it. The familiar, pleasant blurriness filled her body. She finished the wine bottle, the vodka and her gin from the previous night, she smiled as she lay on her bed. She noticed that time had no meaning to her when she was like this. Curiosity got the better of her and she turned over to look at the clock. 20 minutes had passed since she had first entered her room. It was kind of mind blowing. She dry swallowed a couple of valium and the world slipped away.

"Oh God."

Buffy snapped to consciousness and saw Xander standing in her doorway.

"I'm sorry, I was just picking Dawn up and I came to see how you were. I'm sorry..."

He turned away. At that point Buffy became aware of the fact that at some point during the night she'd burned up and stripped down to her underwear in order to sleep... and all of the incriminating evidence of her bender the previous night which still surrounded her.

"Xander, can you please just shut my door?"

Xander put his hand up covering his eyes and did what she asked. Man, she seemed really pissed off. He sincerely hoped that she wasn't. There had been a time when he would have paid to see her in her underwear but today when he saw her, she wasn't sexy or hot, although she was beautiful. What struck him about her had nothing to do with her near nudity. She was sad. The sadness that filled her and her room was almost touchable.

He loved her, not like he loved Anya but as much as you could love a friend. What Willow had told him earlier about what her and Spike had talked about the previous night it had concerned him. He didn't like Spike, and he didn't trust him at all, but he didn't think that the vampire would lie about that.

Buffy had been acting really weird since she had been brought back and at first he had ignored it, they all had. She just needed some time to readjust. Didn't she? He sincerely hoped that he hadn't ignored anything serious. The alcohol bottles had been as blatantly obvious as her naked body. Surely she wouldn't be doing anything harder than that? He hoped that Buffy would snap out of it and although he wasn't religious, he prayed that it would be soon.

"Alright, hurry up Dawn, we gotta get you to school!"

How had her door just opened? Hadn't she locked it? She needed to be more careful. She was just lucky that it hadn't been Dawn. Oh god, imagine if it had been.

No.

She couldn't let that happen. Dawn didn't deserve that. She couldn't do this at home anymore. That was too close.

Buffy picked herself up off her bed and put her dressing gown on. The clean up wasn't so bad this morning, just a couple of bottles. Less vomit.

She sighed.

By the time she was showered, dressed and made up she was the only person left in the house. Everyone else had left to continue their own lives. She didn't fit in to any of their external lives, only into their secret, Scooby gang lives. She didn't have a life where she wasn't the slayer. She'd had a life when she was in high school, even in college, in fact, college had been great because it was less petty than high school and the guys were hotter. Those lives didn't exist anymore. There was just her, this house, and death. Fabulous.

She took another couple of valium and went back to bed.