As a general rule, flying was never something Emma liked doing. Planes? Forget it. Flying was terrifying. Only if she absolutely had to, did she fly. Flying brought out her worst side, a side that over-drank and embarrassed herself at the expense of passengers and flight attendants alike. However, it was only while flying via planes that she was terrified; it was different when dreaming. There was something wonderful in soaring over snow covered mountain peaks and then dipping low into the depths of canyons where water splashed on her face. It was exhilarating, and nothing she was ever willing to test was like that. At least in her dreams, she could never die. To Emma, flying was a freeing experience while she slept. Those were the kind of dreams you hit the snooze alarm to, just to stay in that world for a few extra minutes, sometimes just mere seconds. Even if that wondrous world where her mind escaped made no logical sense, it was hers. It was a recent recurring dream she had come to love because it symbolized her new found freedom.
Slowly though, soaring over the beautiful, majestic landscapes started to fade away. Her mind latched onto the terrains she never knew, desperately trying to remember the topography and colors. Whether it was a figment of her imagination or real, she'd never know. And while she stirred from her sleep, she tried her best to remember the places she flew above.
Emma hated, hated, to be woken. Characteristically, she wasn't the most graceful sleeper, but feeling her bed being shoved, lifted almost, caused her already post-dream and sleep state to be not only rattled, but ruined. There was no basking in the morning light, partly because it was late afternoon, or snoozing softly before getting up. Instead, her eyes shot open and stared straight up at the ceiling fan whipping around quickly. The chain that dangled down was swaying back and forth, making the familiar clanking sound that she had come to find soothing. Normally, that was the only sound she heard at night and it put her to sleep because it was the sound of her and Regina's home.
However soothing that faint noise was, the banging beneath her bed indicated there was some sort of altercation carrying on. Never did she think her thirty-something-year-old best friend would be in a straight up hissing match with her cat. Whatever happened to adulting? But then again, it was August and Weezy. They had a tolerable relationship at best. And at that very moment, the hissing match was a tad overkill, even for August, who clearly had stooped to Weezy's level, which was very low to the ground.
The bed shoved several inches again off to the side, and indecipherable sounds followed. Emma bravely peeked her head over the side of her mattress and noticed two grown ass man legs hanging out from underneath the bed. In an attempt to act normally, she tried not to be annoyed at being woken up. She failed.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Her colorful language was not preventable, given how jarring it was waking up.
Emma was not only disoriented but seriously confused. In what century did it make sense for August to have nose dived under her bed to taunt her cat? Like, sheesh, what did the cat do to him?
"He took my lobster tail!" She heard him argue, a little high pitched, from underneath the bed.
Of course, most of what followed that was muffled and caught in between the space and springs in between them. His behavior made some more sense, now that she knew there was food involved. Emma missed August, and there was no doubt about that. Several months of being separated from her best friend was like going without her left leg. Clearly, a valuable limb, but also one she could live without if needed. Though she had to admit, that would suck. There were many things a person couldn't live without, for instance, the heart. Regina was that to Emma. So while she missed August, she could never live without Regina.
The night before, they had dinner at Portland Lobster Co, which Regina claimed was the best restaurant to get authentic Maine Lobster. While no one really had something to compare it to besides Red Lobster, it filled their bellies with no complaints. Back home people ate more crab, than lobster. The food was so good that Emma felt like she needed to be rolled back to the car and well, August had to almost be practically dragged out from the restaurant by his shirt collar. He even ordered takeout for later, which Emma assumed he was currently fighting to get back from Weezy's thieving grasp.
"August, why does he even have your lobster tail to begin with?" Emma huffed a breath of air from her chest, causing a strand of hair to waft away from her face.
It was starting to get old having everyone here, in her personal space. For instance, the day before yesterday, Emma was spread eagle in her room dilating when August barged in with a bag of Doritos and Ben & Jerry's. Any other time, she'd have been so down for that, but clearly it wasn't the right time. She got that he was obviously trying to mimic old times, but dear fucking God. She imagined her vagina was on display like a Christmas goose in a butcher's window, replete with a sign stating 'Ready to be stuffed!'
Fortunately for her, the swelling between her legs had gone down considerably. Still, August saw her womanhood before Regina and God help her, she thought she was actually going to die of embarrassment for being caught dilator deep. Naturally, she screamed, and within seconds her mother also appeared at August's side thinking she was dying. By that time, Emma had closed her legs and hid behind a pillow on the bed. Seeing her mother and August stare at her like she had magically grown a second head was unsettling, to say the least. The huge lack of privacy was becoming rather suffocating.
Presently, her friend yelled "Ah ha!" before resurfacing back from the land of dust bunnies and miscellaneous lost items. A deep and guttural cat growl also danced through the air. Weezy clearly lost that battle, and wasn't too happy about that.
The disgusting, half eaten, lobster in August's grasp, however, made Emma cringe. "Dude, don't eat that. It looks sick!" She warned, looking at the now fuzzy seafood, which also had some tiny cat bite marks pierced along the sides.
"Well, if I can't have it, neither is he!" August declared all high and mighty.
Emma laughed, and shook her head. "How did he even get it?" Wasn't that the obvious question after all?
August pointed the lobster tail at Emma as he spoke. "Well you see, I was playing a game, and then he snuck up and took it. Little pussy just straight up ran. I chased his fuzzy, no-nuts self around the entire first story before he dragged it up the stairs and under your bed." That explained how Emma was startled awake from her pleasant dream of flying.
"You're ridiculous," Emma remarked dryly as August stood, and started to leave the room.
Just before turning to leave he regarded her in a very serious tone. "You call me ridiculous? Might I add, you're the one in old cat covered pajama bottoms at three in the afternoon. Don't question me." And there was her best friend that she loved and missed. "Stop looking at me like that." he then added in response to the toothy, grin she wore.
It was hard not to then chuckle as well. She missed his antics, which reminded her of Valentine's day. She never asked about his date, which bothered her. Did that make her a bad friend for not asking? And besides that, why hadn't he brought it up?
Emma shook her head again, this time to herself. She wasn't a bad friend, it was just that her life got super complicated recently. So, she asked, "Oh hey, what happened to your Valentine's date?" She sat up in bed and acted nonchalantly, as if she wasn't fishing for information. Something told her that August was hiding something since it was almost May and she hadn't heard even a peep of information.
August practically sagged into the door frame, which was highly uncharacteristic of her friend. Emma just knew, there was a story to be told.
He waved the lobster up again and said, "Uh, let me toss this thing out and I'll come back."
Before Emma could even blink, he was gone. She sighed and picked up her phone and messaged Regina.
Hey, when will you be home? August just got into a full on catfight with Weezy.
A few moments passed, but August resurfaced and scooted in bed next to her. "So her name was Ruby..." he started. He scratched his scruffy face and then continued, "She was a bartender, just my type of girl, you know. I met her one day while I was out and, I don't know, we just clicked. She just felt different. So I didn't follow her home to sleep with her. I, for once, asked her out on a proper date."
He leaned his head against the wall. It was clear that he was torn up about the girl, which was weird for August. "I thought I did everything right," he spoke with his hands, "I took her to a nice restaurant, let her order all the food she wanted, and paid the bill. I thought it went great; we even went home together. My home, not hers," he pointedly told Emma, since she knew that August was never the one to take a woman back to his place.
"She tore into me like a sex-crazed vixen. I thought I finally found my match, the woman I have been waiting to stumble upon. The next morning, I woke up to cold sheets, alone. I haven't heard back from her." He sighed out, "I've called and left messages. I've gone back to the bar we met, and they said she no longer worked there. She vanished." He cynically laughed, and slowly eased his eyes over to where Emma sat propped up.
Her phone, of course, went off, and that jolted her from not concentration, but rather shock. Did the ladies man, August Booth just admit to getting played? Emma fumbled with her phone and read Regina's message.
Soon, maybe within the next half hour. Weezy only likes you, so I can relate. :(
Trying her best not to laugh at the text, Emma knew her girlfriend was right. Weezy was without a doubt her cat, and that little fluff knew it. Weezy and Regina were still working on forging some sort of relationship. Whenever 'Madam Mayor' held him, she acted like he was a skunk, and held him an arm's length away. As a result, Weezy would swing his paws out, claw her up, and then hiss on his way down to the floor before ducking under the nearest piece of furniture to hide. It was a classic cat-like reaction.
Emma sat her phone back down in her lap and smirked. "So you're telling me that you got played, right?" She was amused, and there was no ounce of sympathy in her tone.
August wiped his face with both of his hands, and shook his head. "You know, for once, I was. I haven't seen someone since her. She was something else." He spaced out and nodded his head, "She was beautiful, Emma." He turned and looked Emma in the eyes with a steady gaze.
Man, did this mysterious woman do a number on her friend. Emma smiled and kind of, but not really, felt bad for August. It was karma in a way considering how many women he had taken to bed, only to leave come morning. "Maybe you're ready to date? I mean you do owe me a dating profile. Maybe we can make one together?" she reasoned, itching to get her revenge by creating a profile for him. She desperately wanted to expose his softer side; the kind where he would openly admit to watching kids movies and collecting rare, but questionable, items.
August shook his head vehemently. "No way. I said living together or if you had a ring on her finger. Only then would I even contemplate making a dating account. From the looks of it, I still have some time." He raised one wiry eyebrow at her, "Whatever happened with that, Ems? I thought you were going to propose?"
Emma hadn't exactly gotten around to telling him that she decided it wasn't the right time. In fact, she hadn't really kept up with August as frequently as she wanted since living in Maine. Sure, they'd Skyped several times and texted here and there. Every time they talked it felt like no time had passed, but it just was not what she expected. She thought she'd talk to him almost every day, and that simply wasn't the case.
Emma picked up her phone and took a quick second to text Regina back, again.
Weezy likes you because I love you. Trust me, he'll come around. Come home to me, the Floridian Inquisition is happening, and I need allies!
She tossed her phone into her lap and then sighed, as the truth was bound to come out at some point. She didn't regret not proposing to Regina on Valentine's day. There was a method to her madness after all. Besides, August did tell her to go with her gut. He just assumed it was to propose, and her gut had told her the exact opposite.
So, Emma finally clarified the situation for him. "Uh… I just went with what my gut told me and that was to wait. It's not as simple as one plus one is two." She turned and looked at him. "I love Regina. We're great together, and we'll get married sometime soon, I hope. I just…" Emma paused and considered her next words wisely. "I just felt that if I was going to commit myself to her, then there was no half-assing it. I want to give her all of me, and I couldn't do that before."
"So how about now?" August pensively looked at Emma, probing to see if an engagement was on the horizon.
Emma could see those devious gears turning in his head with bridal parties, DJ's, and open bars. There was no denying he'd be her best man, and he'd throw down a lot of fun. She nodded her head. "Now… I finish healing and then when I feel like the time is right, I'll propose."
Emma wanted the proposal to not necessarily be well thought out, but done at the most opportune time when it felt right. If she had learned anything from being with Regina, it was that nothing ever goes as planned. Their first I love you's, for example, were confessed in the middle of a fight. Besides, there was no need to really rush things; they both knew what their feelings were and that they were it for one another.
"In the meantime, I'm just going to continue focusing on me," Emma added for good measure as August looked thoughtfully into the ether. She knew the more she focused on healing and transitioning back into work, that she'd feel better. She could only go up from where she was.
Right now, it was just the start of her final transitioning. The wild part was, while there was much pain and plenty of uncomfortable moments, Emma felt more like herself than she ever had in her entire existence. Her mind finally felt connected to her body. Had her mother and August walked in on her months prior, spread eagle, she'd be unable to look at them for months, maybe even longer. She was the woman she always was, inside and out. There was nothing more humbling than finally being able to know that. Having her mother and August at her side throughout her recovery was helpful, but also stressful. Having Regina though, that was what caused her heart to swell with joy. Regina was her girlfriend, but the fact that she stood by her side throughout the tedious process was the unsurpassable treasure.
Earlier that morning, when Emma awoke in Regina's arms, a startling feeling had washed over her. She felt like she was starting anew with Regina, a clean slate and all. One thing was for damn sure; she was excited to embark on this new journey of her life. Together they were just at the beginning of it all, and the thought of making love now caused every nerve in her body to tingle. Whether it was nervousness or excitement, maybe even both, she'd have to wait and see. And good things are worth waiting for, even if it took time.
Emma's phone buzzed again. She glanced down and skimmed the message quickly.
Closing down my Outlook now. I highly doubt August or your mother are scary enough to warrant your need for allies. Lucky for you, I'll be home soon to rescue my damsel in distress.
She quirked a smirk and responded to her girlfriend.
Who said I was a damsel in distress? Huh? ;) But you can rescue me any day, I shall consider it to be an honor.
Emma laughed before meeting the gaze of her best friend, "What?"
"Nothing," he firmly reassured.
Before he could add anything else, or ask anything else, Emma's mother knocked on the door. "Honey, it's time for you to dilate again."
The words, 'dilate again,' caused her to shudder because that was the hardest part of healing. Dilating was hell, in the form of a small dildo-like object to secure her fucking depth. Again, it wasn't like Regina was a dude with a penis, yet as she was educated, the neovagina could mend the wrong way because the tissue was still friable, so dilating it was. No matter how painful and uncomfortable, it was a necessity.
Slowly Emma sat herself up, edged herself off the bed, and shuffled to her bathroom where her dilator kit sat. Walking had become considerably easier over the past week. At first, it felt like a pineapple was wedged up her 'who ha.' Not just that weird pressure between her legs, but also there was some pain from pinching sutures, but that went away as swelling subsided. Walking to the mailbox was even challenging. Her mother, aka the drill sergeant, had her on a schedule reminding her to take her painkillers, antibiotics, and reminding her to dilate.
Emma started to wash her hands and in the corner of her eye, she saw August, being the idiot that he is, playing with her level four dilator. Praise Jesus, she wasn't that far along yet. Level two was already enough, and just imagining using the level four made her want to melt into the floor and die.
"Can you like... not? Put that down," she told her friend.
"How does it feel?" August curiously asked as he placed the dilator back where it belonged. "I mean like, is it weird?" he continued his train of thought, but looked away from Emma.
Emma smiled, because talking about this kind of stuff no longer bothered her, but someone was shy for once. She no longer felt awkward about who she was. "I mean, I guess it's not really about the feeling. I just finally feel like my body matches how I always have felt. Using dilators honestly sucks. I hate them, but I think it will be different when I've healed," Emma explained as she washed her hands.
"Yeah, once you can have sex again," August quickly said in return.
And yeah, sex was a huge part of it. Sharing that new part of herself with Regina all over again would kind of be like a new first time. She knew Regina would make it special for her because finally Emma could make love with Regina the way she always wanted. Emma would never forget how amazing their first time together was.
She would always think of them as the elements, hydrogen and helium, colliding for the first time creating the universe, the Big Bang exploding into an infinity. It was terrifyingly breathtaking, even to this day.
"Alright… Go ahead and get out of here. I need some privacy for the next thirty minutes," Emma requested, careful to give a time frame lest August try to waltz in on another session. "Regina should be home soon, and we can start dinner!" She dried off her hands and grabbed a towel to carry with her, along with her levels one and two dilators, and the lube from the bathroom counter.
After August left, she locked the door to the bedroom. Emma walked over to her bed and cleared a space. She stretched the towel out and pulled off her old cat covered pajamas. Picking up her phone, she set a timer for fifteen minutes and stretched open her legs, which made her wince in some pain. Finally, she swirled some clear lubricant on the tip of her first dilator. The first dilator had become easier to use over the past few days; it was number two that was felt like it was stretching her open.
Pushing the dilator in through her new folds that she'd yet to explore beyond using a hand mirror caused her leg to twitch. Feeling the dilator slick inside of her was toe curling in a way. Yeah, it hurt, but her mind just pictured Regina and how someday, it wouldn't always be a dilator, but instead Regina's fingers slipping inside of her. That thought caused tingles of anticipation, and the baby fine hairs on her neck to stand erect. It had taken several seconds before Emma had the dilator inserted six inches inside herself. With her hand at the base, she leaned back on her bed and just allowed her mind to drift to something far more comforting; her first time with Regina.
It was one of her most beloved memories, full of beauty. And though the moment had long passed, she could just close her eyes, and for the briefest of moments relive it in its entirety. She'd never forget the way Regina's eyes soaked in every piece of her body, making her feel like a Greek sculpture carved from marble. Emma had never felt more beautiful, even though she saw nothing but her own flaws in her appearance.
Emma would never be able forget how accepting Regina was with her body. She was careful, sensitive, and made what could have been awkward into an unforgettable moment. Emma just knew, she'd fallen in love with an extraordinary, compassionate person. Everything about their first time - the way her ears burned to hear the leaky faucet, or how her taste buds exploded from a new metallic taste - was incredible.
And when they finally moved to the next step, Emma was afraid. Before her surgery, she was extremely small, and that was beyond uncomfortable. She tried to ignore her fear of not being able to provide Regina pleasure, and all of that was washed away with each thrust of their bodies. Her first orgasm with Regina felt like her entire body had combusted into pure bliss. She never felt more intimately connected to another human being; not even her first love, Lily.
There was no higher love than Regina, and Emma knew that. She was Emma's life. While six months of healing put a dent in their sex life, she could only imagine how sensational it would be all over again as they continued to brace against the elements of life, spiraling together into an infinity of love.
A soft knock pulled Emma from her reverie. "It's me!" A calming, loving voice said through the wooden door.
She had thirty-two seconds left according to her phone. Shifting her hips up, she slowly pulled the level one dilator from her tight center.
"Just a second!" she called out. Emma quickly stood and walked to the door, before peeking her head out.
Regina looked like she was hoping to enter the room, but Emma wasn't ready for Regina to see her yet. She was waiting for the swelling to subside more. She wanted Regina's first visual to be memorable in a good way. She didn't want her to see the angry sutures, swollen folds, or blood. There'd come a time when Emma was ready, but today wasn't the day. "Hey, I'm still dilating. I'll be done soon," she told her better half.
"Okay, well give me a kiss?" Regina asked, the edge of her lips curling into the barely-there way she used to show adoration. Emma loved that smile, in particular.
Smiling sweetly in return, Emma leaned through the crack of the door, and captured Regina's lips in a loving kiss. No matter how many times she kissed her love, it never grew old. Memories of their first time still fresh in the forefront of Emma's mind caused her to be a little bolder, and she sucked on Regina's bottom lip. When she pulled away, Emma caressed her cheek and then placed one final kiss on the tip of Regina's nose.
"I'll be done soon!" she promised, before watching Regina turn and head back downstairs.
Not having sex for months was going to be the death of her, because all Emma wanted to do was to pull Regina back into her their room, and have her way with her. God, did she love her body and the way she so sweetly tasted against her tongue. Again, she reminded herself as she turned away to start her second dilation that all good things were worth waiting for, even if it took time.
There was a special spark in the air that night that made her body hum with an energy new to her. Emma knew ever since her surgery that she felt like a new person. Yeah, she was the same, but she felt different in the sense of the weight of the world was finally lifted off of her shoulders. It was freeing, and that was maybe why she was dreaming so much recently about flying? Maybe it was supposed to be like this all along? She finally felt like she could fly through life happy, and it was enlightening.
Laughter from good company radiated through the air, along with music softly playing through the outdoor speakers. Now that it was spring, being outside underneath their pergola and enjoying the night's fresh air was something she never knew she missed, until living in Maine that is. It was nice to be finally able to go outside and not freeze to death. After growing up where the sun shined relatively all the time, she wasn't used to an eternal cold that made living different. Emma practically hibernated indoors, Weezy included, to stay warm by the fireplace during those cold months. After a handful of snowmen, snow angels, and snowball fights, the excitement of snow was depleted. It lost its spark right around the same time she had to shovel out the driveway.
Thankfully, it was warming up again, and the snow was mostly gone. Flowers were starting to bloom, and the hazy low-lying clouds that she once could almost scoop into the palm of her hands had lifted. Now, the night stars shined and twinkled brightly down on their dinner party.
Emma sat with her family: Regina, her mother, August and two new additions: Jeff, and Graham. They were all sitting around, poking fun at each other all in good nature. Poor Mary Margaret was going on about how 'the northerners' can't understand the importance of having sweet tea. Apparently earlier in that day, she had picked up some fast food and was beside herself when they had no idea what she meant by 'sweet tea.' Emma grew up drinking it, but she wasn't as addicted as her mother.
Then there was Graham, who was pushing that Emma apply for her job at the Portland Police Department sooner than later, but right now she needed to focus on healing more. Even though she didn't have a job, having surgery this severe inevitably had her out of work for a few months. Once she was back on her feet though, she planned to start back at full force, and crossed her fingers to be Graham's partner. Now that would be epic, considering how much of a friend he was turning out to be.
Off to the side, Weezy was belly up, laying flat on his back in between rolling around in the grass. Emma had never seen him happier to be outside. He was never cut out for snow, and once it melted down minus a few patches, he was outside playing and running around like the good old days back in Florida.
August caught her line of gaze and started going off. "That cat is a devious mother fuc-"
"August!" Emma warned. "If you didn't step on him all the time or chase him around the house then maybe it would be a different story, and he'd not feel so threatened by you." She would never forget that one time when she had to take him to the vet. August was gigantic compared to little Weezy. The poor little dude stood no chance in hell when August walked across his fluffy tail.
"Excuse me? Again, I can't help that I stepped on him. Maybe he shouldn't have walked between my feet? Ever think of that?" He looked at her with crazy eyes. "You and him both overreacted. You took him to the vet, and he was fine. He just wanted the attention, and you fell right into that trap!" August yelled from across the table. "Besides, he stole my lobster tail and I sure as hell wasn't going to just let his fuzzy, little, no nuts ass have it. I don't care if I had to chase that demon spawned hellcat around the house!" her friend argued defensively. "That was some good lobster!"
"You chased a cat who stole your lobster tail?" Regina asked incredulously as she shifted under the blanket that sat across her and Emma's shoulders. "How do I miss these things?"
August cut his eyes to Regina and then laughed at her tone. They were joking, after all. Knowing he'd just sound stupid if he attempted to defend his actions, he didn't bother. "Okay, whatever, that cat is still Satan. He should be happy that I shipped his ungrateful ass up here."
"Yes. Thanks for that." Regina monotonously returned. "He's been quite the treat." Weezy hadn't exactly made a good rapport with Regina. He'd peed on her shoes, clawed her, hissed at her. He was territorial... mostly. Despite that, Emma was trying to get him to realize that Regina was her person.
Emma's mother giggled into her wine glass in front of her, "Oh bless his heart!" She was clearly buzzed on some good wine. She had died and gone to heaven when she discovered Regina's wine cellar.
Emma frowned and looked over at the little puff of fluff, before scooping him up into her arms. Ever so innocently, a cute meow vibrated from his mouth, causing his whiskers to twitch. His big green eyes locked with Emma's as he nudged against her hand. She rubbed her finger around his ears and down his neck, scratching all of his sweet spots. Instantly, he started to purr and relaxed into her hold.
In an annoyingly high pitched voice, Emma spoiled him rotten for show. "You're just a little cutie aren't you? Such a sweet kitty! I love you little Weezy pants." She nuzzled his nose, and shifted so that she gently placed the cat into Regina's arms. They had been trying this method recently so that he'd clue in that Regina was important.
Emma told her, "Just pet him like I do. He'll be fine."
Except Weezy was not fine when he was placed in Regina's arms. He hated anyone who wasn't Emma. As if on cue, he growled and popped Regina's hand with his paw.
Disgusted with the cat, Regina snapped, "You feral animal. Go somewhere else! Shooo!" she yelled. Weezy dashed off back into the house, and Regina turned back to their company, not surprised by the cat's reaction. "We're slowly making progress."
"Maybe it's her hair color?" Emma's mother proposed. Emma was the only blonde at the table, so there could be some element of truth in that hypothesis.
"Don't put thoughts in her head," August argued. "Can you roll now?" He gestured to the Monopoly board game that sat in the middle of the table.
With a roll of her eyes, Emma scooped up the dice, jiggling them in her hands before tossing them down. They rolled around before stopping between Park Place and Water Works. Three dots stared back up at her, and she asked her mother, "Can you move me three places forward?"
"You landed on my property, pay up buttercup!" August wiggled his money hungry fingers for his twelve lousy monopoly bucks.
"Ew, get over yourself, just wait till you land on Boardwalk," Emma reminded him as she smacked two pink fives and two white ones into his grabby, greedy hand. She was the fortunate soul who not only had Boardwalk, but Park Place as well. By default, she was bound to win the moment she laid down houses and hotels.
Being here now with her family and friends caused Emma to shine in a way she never had before. She could laugh fully and just breathe without crippling shame. This was living, and it almost felt like flying… the good kind.
Soon, she vowed to herself; she would propose to Regina. All she had to do was wait for the right moment. Emma wondered with a smile, 'When would that be?'