I thought about what my decision would be for the rest of the day, and most of the night. I didn't get much sleep. I listened to Mark snoring softly beside me – it was a sound I was very familiar with. A comfortable, safe sound. A sound that usually meant I was thinking. The only times I fell asleep after him were the times when I had too much on my mind to sleep. But I was very familiar with it. I knew the different patterns to his snoring. One snore meant that he was deeply asleep and that I could do pretty much whatever I wanted to without waking him. Another meant that the slightest bump or noise would pull him from his sleep immediately. I wondered if that was what it was like for Edward. When he would stay with me each night, he had to know what my different sleeping habits were. My heart rate, my breathing, he probably had all of that memorized.

I sighed and looked at the clock. It was past three in the morning. If I kept thinking at this rate, then I wouldn't get any sleep.

So I did something for the second time in my life. I took unnecessary cold medicine.

I didn't take a very large dose. I knew I'd still have to get up in a couple of hours. I just needed it to knock me out for a little bit.

I don't remember what time I finally fell asleep, but I do remember waking up at 9:00 in the morning. Mark was still asleep, still snoring softly.

"Hey Mark?" I asked, flipping over onto my side so I could look at him.

"What?" he asked groggily. He definitely wasn't awake yet.

"Would you be okay today if I go talk to Edward?" I inquired.

"Would you be okay today if I go hang out with Angela again?" he countered after a moment. He turned his head to look at me, and I could see that he only had one eye open, and it was squinting. Definitely not awake yet.

"It sounds like we have our plans for the day," I answered. I gave him a light kiss and rolled out of bed. "I'll go shower first."

"I'll sleep some more," Mark mumbled. I laughed quietly and left the room as he closed his eye again and went back to sleep.

I took a long time in the shower. I didn't really want to go through with the impending conversation, but I knew I had to. It was crucial to my decision. So I stalled by taking a long shower.

But the hot water ran out eventually. When I could no longer argue with myself that the water was even warm I decided to get out. I took my time brushing and drying my hair, and then I styled it. I wrapped myself in a towel and went to pick out an outfit. I pulled one of the new ones from Alice out of my closet and took it downstairs. I ironed it, even though it wasn't wrinkled, and then examined it for any flaws. It didn't have any.

When I could no longer stall I put the outfit on and went back upstairs. I put on make-up. I usually never put on make-up, but I decided that while I was stalling I might as well do it properly.

Make-up finished, clothing as perfect as I could make it, hair not quite as good as Alice's styles, but close, and perfectly brushed teeth left me with nothing to do but go cook and eat breakfast.

So I made omelets. I made one for me and one for Mark, who still wasn't out of bed. I put Mark's in the fridge with a note on top saying it was for him.

I went and brushed my teeth again, and then I had no more excuses left. I grabbed my coat and the car keys, checked my appearance one more time, and walked out the door.

I saw that both the truck and the car were sitting in front of the house. I saw a note taped to the truck, so I went to read it.

Bella,

Take the truck. Let Mark drive the car. I saw that you would need both vehicles today, so I convinced Rosalie to let me bring the car over. I left the keys in the ignition and a note next to the omelet so that Mark would know that he actually does have a car to drive.

See you soon,

Alice

With that settled I opened the truck door and got in. I started the engine, adjusted the radio, bucked up, and then finally put the truck in drive.

I took my time driving to the Cullen's house. I wasn't in any rush. In fact, had I thought it was safe, I would have driven backwards so I could have an excuse to go slower.

But the Cullen's mansion came into my view all too soon. I sighed again and cut the power to the engine. I got out, checked my appearance in the mirror one last time, and began the walk to the house.

"Is Edward here?" I asked when the door opened.

"He's up in his room," Esme answered with a smile. "Go on up, I'm sure he'll be happy to see you."

"Thank you," I said. I gave her a quick hug, which surprised her, and then started the long trip up the stairs.

I knocked on Edward's door and it opened a second later. Edward stood in his doorway, looking depressed yet curious.

"What do you need?" he asked.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked nervously.

"Sure," he answered. He opened the door the rest of the way and stood back so I could enter.

I walked in and headed straight for his couch. I sat down on the far right side and used the arm as a backrest so that I was sitting sideways. I pulled my knees up to my chest. Edward sat on the other side and mirrored my position so we were facing each other.

"What did you want to talk about?" he asked curiously when I didn't start talking immediately.

"Us," I answered. His expression lifted a little, but he still seemed a little depressed.

"What about us?" he asked, and it sounded like he was trying not to hope.

I thought for a few seconds about how I wanted to answer, and I saw it made him impatient. He seemed almost nervous, and I smiled at the thought that I could make a vampire nervous. He was about to ask about the smile, but I cut him off and answered, "The 'us' for the rest of my life."

"What about it?" he asked.

I fidgeted nervously and twirled some of my hair around my fingers. "If I'm going to leave Mark, I need to know what to expect from you."

"Are you going to leave Mark?" he asked hopefully.

"I'm considering it," I answered, and I saw the hopeful look on his face fall a little. "It all depends on what we decide here."

"What are we deciding?" he asked.

"The terms of our marriage, if that were to happen," I said. I suddenly felt less nervous, and I got the feeling that Jasper was helping out. I'd have to thank him later. I sat up a little straighter and looked Edward in the eye. "I have to know what to expect."

"What are your terms?" Edward asked.

"If I leave Mark and you and I get married, then we'll have to have an agreement of sorts," I said. "You can't run off anymore, no matter how depressed you are. You can't ever even contemplate suicide, even if I die. When I get so old that I look like your grandmother, you'll have to be nice and respect your elder. You'll never be able to leave my side for more than a few hours, unless it's to hunt, but then you'll have to come back as soon as you possibly can. And if we find a way around the treaty, you'll have to change me."

"Anything else?" Edward asked.

"You can't ever break my heart again," I answered. "If you break my heart, we're through, and I'll probably end up killing myself because I can't live without you."

"Do you want to hear my terms?" Edward asked. He shifted so his legs were crossed Indian style and sat forward.

"I suppose that would be fair," I answered. "What are your terms?"

"You can't ever leave my side for more than a few hours," he started, "you can't ever run off, not matter how depressed you are. You can't contemplate suicide, even if we fight. When you get so old that you look like my grandmother, you still have to love me. If we find a way around the treaty, you'll have to endure three days of agonizing pain so that you can live with me for eternity. If your heart is broken, you have to tell me so I can try to fix it immediately. I can be quite the repairman, if I want to be." Then there was that crooked smile that I always loved, and somehow he was instantly across the couch and sitting in front of me. "If you decide to give me another chance, I will be eternally grateful. And you know how significant that is, since I'm immortal." He reached out and touched my face lightly, hesitantly, almost as if he thought I would object. As if I could. I was drowning in the topaz pools known as his eyes. I had to try to remember how to breathe.

"I'll think about it," I somehow managed to get out. His face fell, apparently he had been looking for an immediate answer.

"How long do you think your decision will take?" he asked, the depression already sinking back into his voice. He moved back across the couch and slumped back into a casual sitting position, still facing me.

"I have to talk it over with Mark," I said, "and I have to think about it on my own some more."

"You leave again for college in a week and six days," Edward pointed out, looking away.

"I'll have the decision before then," I promised. I stood up and walked over to him to give him a kiss on the cheek. He sat, unresponsive, and stared dejectedly out the window.

"I'll see you soon," I promised before leaving. I passed Alice on the way out, and she gave me a reassuring smile. I guessed that she'd already seen what I was leaning towards. I gave her a small smile in return and left once again.