A/N: Thanks to LittleHogwartsGirl, T2238 and Sandwichfairy for the reviews!

T2238: I feel honoured that you have given this fic a chance, even if you haven't seen the PatF movie. :)

Chapter 3

Let's Kill Some Frogs!

"Married?" Naveen was the first to find his voice. "But… but haven't you said you didn't have children and never expected to have any? How is that possible if you're married… unless you and your little wife aren't doing it?"

Laurence made a wry face. "My love life is none of your business, sir."

But Naveen did not let himself be silenced so easily. "Are you having problems getting it up?"

Laurence rolled his big blue bulging eyes. "Thank you for your concern, but I can assure you I have never had any problems of that sort."

"Then how do you explain…?"

"We are being careful, that is all," Laurence said somewhat irritably. "We got married in secret and we have decided to be careful to be able to keep our secret. We do not want anyone to find out… besides my dragon and crewmembers who already know."

Finally Tiana found her voice too, "Neither of you want anyone else to find out, or… only you do?"

Laurence heaved a sigh, but the corner of his mouth twitched, suggesting he might be fighting down the urge to smile. "You have come to know me quite well in these few short hours, Miss Tiana. I must confess it is only me. My wife has tried to convince me that we should let it come to light, but… it is not that easy. I am not afraid of what people will think of me, but… I do fear what they will think of her."

"Why?" Tiana asked, her eyes radiating compassion.

"Because it is not exactly commendable for any woman to get married to someone like me." Laurence paused for a few seconds, then straightened his back and carried on, "Remember when I mentioned I used to live in Australia? Well, I was banished there for treason."

"Treason?" Tiana, Naveen, Ray, Louis and Mama Odie gasped. Louis even let his trumpet drop in shock.

Laurence hung his head. "I had no other choice. The government wanted to spread a dragon disease that would have obliterated the whole of Earth's dragon population within a few years, and only we, the British had the cure. I could not let that happen, so I took the cure to the French, our enemy. Then I gave myself up."

"Oh," Tiana said, and instinctively reached out to gather Laurence into her arms.

"Does that mean," the captain muttered into her neck, "that you do not condemn me for what I have done?"

"Of course not," she pulled back, tears glinting in her eyes. "And I'm sure no one here does. Right?" She looked around, her stare peremptory.

"Well…" Naveen spoke up, "I guess I now understand your preaching about honesty and pride… You could've chosen not to give yourself up, but you did, nevertheless. Hey, I now understand your calling yourself a goddamn sentimental romantic too! Haha, good description!" At the renewed gleam of Tiana's scolding eyes, he added, "But of course, it's all very noble. And as long as your little wife doesn't mind your being a traitor…"

"My wife…" Laurence muttered, his eyes suddenly distant, as though in soul he was no longer in the bayou, but far, far away. "Hey, that is it!"

"What?" Ray asked.

"Madam," Laurence turned to Mama Odie, "could you please transport me somehow to my own time, to Waterloo?"

The old woman scratched at her jaw. "Perhaps…"

Tiana gave the frog captain a confused look. "What are you plannin'?"

"Why, kissing my wife, of course! She is a real princess! A princess of China through our marriage!" Laurence replied, a so far unseen look of joy and hopefulness spreading on his face.

"O-o-o…" Ray sighed. "How romantic! If only Evangeline could hear this!"

"Well, could you help us, madam?" Laurence pressed.

"Hmm, I think I can," Mama Odie nodded. "Do you want to go alone, or take some of your new friends along?"

"Why, alone, of course," Laurence replied, "I would never risk their lives…"

"You've risked yours for me, more than once," Tiana said firmly. "I'm coming."

"Let me remind you that we are going to a battlefield!"

"I don't think it could be any more dangerous than falling from Charlotte's balcony or landing in the bayou. You ain't goin' without me, you hear me?"

"Nor without me," Ray insisted.

"May I go too and scare some of the… who's your enemy again?" Louis asked.

"The French, but I doubt if they would be much scared by an alligator," the captain replied. "They have dragons a hundred times your size."

"I'm sorry, but I can't magic everyone over to Waterloo," Mama Odie put an end to their argument. "I'm going to transport the three of you there, Tiana, Naveen and Laurence. Only you have been cursed, so only you need to be changed back. Once the princess kisses Laurence, Tiana and Naveen will be transported back here, along with that valet, Lawrence."

Ray made a sound of indignation at being left out of all the fun.

"Pray do not pout, Ray," Laurence said, "and give my regards to Evangeline."

oOo

Waterloo, 18th June, 1815

Lawrence was sweating profusely. He had been tied to this wretched tree for hours, or for what felt like hours, and left there. No one cared for him any more, but as he watched the hustling and bustling of dragons and crews around, heard the roars of the beasts and the occasional shots of guns the soldiers fired for practice, he felt more alone and more frightened than ever before.

Lawrence had never been a happy and satisfied man. He had always had problems with his weight and his monkey-like ears, he had always envied Naveen for his good looks… He had always wanted more than he had and had hoped that blasted voodoo magician would do something to change his situation for the better, but he had been transported here instead, into the middle of a battlefield, where, even through closed eyelids, he could see the sun glinting on the tips of the dragons' razor sharp teeth.

"Cow!" someone yelled in the vicinity, and in the next moment a greyish dragon of about the size of a smallish elephant trotted up to him, licking its chops enthusiastically. "Funny cow, no udder! But still looks tasty!"

"I'm no cow!" Lawrence muttered and felt all the blood run from his face as the little dragon put its nose to his ears and sniffed.

The valet once again felt a trickle of something warm and unpleasant between his legs, and, too cowardly to look, squeezed his eyes shut. He would not watch as this horrible beast started to devour him!

"Volly, can't you see it's no cow just an ugly fat man?" someone shouted nearby, and a tiny ember of hope glowed in Lawrence's chest.

"O dear God, please, make him go," Lawrence muttered, "make him go, and I swear I'll never ask anything again, I'll never be dissatisfied with my lot again, and I'll be the best valet to Naveen in the world! I promise, just make him go awaaaaay!"

"Hey," someone poked him, and Lawrence was sure it was the vicious beast. "Hey, open your eyes, fellow!"

Whoever addressed him now, did not sound like a vicious beast. Lawrence slowly opened his eyes and was faced with a man in a bottle-green uniform and a funny hat with goggles. "Is… is he gone?" Lawrence whispered. "The beast?"

"Oh, you mean Volly? He's here, but he won't eat you. I'm Captain Langford James, by the way. And you?"

"L…Lawrence."

"Hah," the fellow grinned, "we've got a Laurence too, are you related to him?

"Heaven forbid," the valet moaned.

oOo

A few miles away

"Bad luck," Laurence muttered as he peered through the branches of a bush.

"What bad luck?" Tiana whispered.

"The elderly lady sent us to Waterloo, but to the wrong side. We are currently behind the French lines. We can reach the forces of the Seventh Coalition the quickest if we go across the enemy's infantry, cavalry and aerial corps. Which is a bit too much for a frog, if I might add. Look, Tiana, I cannot expect you to come with me, this is going to be extremely dangerous…"

"I've come so far, and a few soldiers won't scare me!" Tiana retorted.

"The soldiers might not, honey, but the dragons… those are a different thing," Naveen commented. "Just peer through the bush and see for yourself."

Tiana pushed a branch to the side to have a proper look and for a long moment forgot to breath. "Those are… real… big."

"Yes, that one particularly," Laurence said heavily, pointing at a huge white dragon. "Lien. Napoleon's personal pet."

"You've met this Lien already, I see," Naveen perceived.

"Just enough times to know she is dangerous. We must go around them somehow… on the skirts of the French forces. This is our only chance. Tiana, you may still decide to stay here. I shall not think any less of you if you do."

The female frog clasped the male's hand and squeezed it, her tiny green face showing more determination than Laurence had ever seen in a woman, perhaps with the exception of the Rolands. "I'm not afraid."

"You will be," Laurence replied. "Once we take a few steps and get into the midst of the army, you will be."

"Naveen's here with me, and so are you," she said plainly. "Besides, magic is on our side."

"Magic?" Laurence wavered. "I have never believed in magic, and you know, if I told anyone I had asked a voodoo priestess to help me return, the Church of England would surely excommunicate me. Magic might have sent me to New Orleans and then sent me back here, but it is not with me any longer, nor with you or with Prince Naveen… we are on our own now."

"Do you really think so?" Tiana breathed. "Well, I don't. Real magic ain't in a voodoo magician's fingertips, but here," she put her hand on Laurence's chest. "In your heart. In my heart. Even in Naveen's, although he's got no body."

"Hey, thanks, honey."

"You're welcome, dear," Tiana smiled in the voice's direction, then turned back to her frog companion. "I mean it, Laurence. What you told us about saving the dragons… well, that was something truly magical. You've got more magic in you than any voodoo priest or priestess, you only have to believe in it. Say, were you thinking of something… something in particular, when you got suddenly transported to New Orleans?"

"Well…" Laurence pursed his lips, deep in thought, "I think I was."

"What was it?"

The captain's green cheeks took on a pinkish hue. "I was just thinking… how nice it would be… to be able to openly love my wife. To not be ashamed and not feel the need to fear the opinion of others…"

"And? What do you think of it now?"

"I think… I was a fool," Laurence blushed even more. "When you and Naveen declared your love for each other even though you could not be sure you would ever be able to be together physically… and when Ray said he was happy with Evangeline, although he knew she would never be his for real… I saw that my wife had been right and I had been wrong."

"Then perhaps that's why you ended up in our time. So you could admit you were stupid and start over." Tiana once again squeezed his hand. "Say, what's the first thing you'll tell your wife once you meet her?"

"Er… 'kiss me, I'm Laurence'?"

"That's not what I meant," Tiana laughed, "although that'd be a nice start too… But really, what will you tell her?"

"That I have been an idiot and that I want to show the world how much I love her?" Laurence said a bit insecurely.

"Good answer!" Tiana clasped her hands. "Remember this, my friend, remember you've got to tell her this, and this will help you through the whole of the French army. Come on, Naveen, we've got a romantic confession to witness!" With that, she jumped out of the bush.

"Hey, Tiana, wait!" both males shouted in unison, and one of them jumped, the other one flew after her.

o

Private Jean Cruchot was bored. They had been loitering around the fields by the tiny town of Waterloo for three days, and still nothing happened. Besides, he was getting hungry. What he would have given for some nicely roasted frog legs!

"My imagination is playing tricks on me," he muttered (in French, of course), as he noticed a pair of frogs hopping across the camp. First his mouth went dry, then it started to water. Literally. "Frogs!" he squealed. "Two frogs! Delicious frogs!"

"What?" one of the frogs asked the other, although Cruchot did not understand it, for she was speaking English. She? – he stiffened. Had he indeed heard her voice? And was it a female voice at all? Weren't frogs only supposed to croak, males and females in the same, unpleasant manner?

"He wants to eat us," came the reply, this time sounding like the voice of a male.

"Oh, that's bad," the female replied, but her voice was already getting quieter as they were both hopping away.

Hopping away? – Cruchot froze. He couldn't let his lunch escape!

And the chase began.

In his eagerness to catch the frogs, Cruchot swung himself into a circle of officers nearby.

"What does this mean, private?" Lieutenant Pillet fumed.

"Frogs, sir! My lunch! And they're escaping!"

"FROGS?" the officers chorused. None of them had eaten anything as decent as frog legs for weeks.

Private Cruchot watched in disgust and disappointment as his commanding officers, risking life and limb, ran after the two unfortunate little frogs. He had lost his lunch, he admitted with a sigh, clutching at his pitifully rumbling stomach. It was not fair, just because he was only a private!

o

Tiana and Laurence jumped as quick as they could, gasping for breath and their tiny hearts beating frantically in their chests. They no longer watched where they ran, they no longer tried to stay on the skirts of the French army, they just ran and hopped and ran and hopped, slipping between the legs of artillery men, nearly getting flattened under the feet of a Flamme de Gloire, and barely escaping the hooves of none other than Bonaparte's steed.

"That was him," Laurence panted as they ran flat out.

"That was who?" Tiana panted back.

"Napoleon."

"I only saw those damn big hooves," she shot back.

"He looked really royal," Naveen commented from above their heads. "Perhaps not even as short as he was described in the books…"

"I'd be grateful if you stopped praising Napoleon, we're trying to stay alive down here, if you haven't noticed!" Tiana instinctively looked upwards, forgetting that she would not see her love anyway. That single second of not paying attention to the soil under her feet, however, caused her to trip over a low branch of a blueberry bush.

For a few seconds Laurence did not even notice that she was no longer by his side and kept running away.

"Yum-yum," someone said just above her head. It was French talk, but Tiana understood it just well enough, especially when a firm hand closed around her waist.

"Laureeeence!" she yelled, and the owner of the firm hand nearly dropped her in surprise.

"What is this? A talking frog?" the man muttered, but this time Tiana could only vaguely guess the meaning of those words, for she did not speak French at all.

"Yes, a talking frog, actually, a frog deity," someone spoke up from above. She still did not understand the words, as they were still in French, but the voice was so very familiar…

Naveen! she realised. Of course! He, as a prince, must have learned to speak French!

"A frog… deity?" the French soldier mumbled.

"Yes, a frog goddess, and she will curse you if you don't release her this instant!" Naveen carried on in as majestic a voice as he could muster. Whatever he had said, must have scared the soldier, for his grip around Tiana's body slackened. That was when the returning Laurence hopped onto a branch of the neighbouring bush, and from there, onto the French soldier's arm.

"Let her go this instant, or we both shall curse you!" he shouted at the man, also in French, although Tiana thought his French was not nearly as sophisticated as Naveen's.

"So, what are you waiting for?" Laurence elegantly stepped onto the man's wrist, his arms akimbo. Even in his frog form, he looked intimidating.

Apparently this had been too much for the unfortunate soldier, who let go of Tiana with a scream.

Before she knew what was happening to her, Laurence had grabbed her by the arm and started dragging her across the field again, zigzagging between the feet of humans, horses and dragons alike. Tiana had long lost track of time, she only knew that her heart was pounding madly, her reflexes were tested to the limits and that she had probably made a mistake in deciding to cross the battlefield with Laurence. But she would never admit that – if she survived, then it was not worth admitting how utterly scared she had been, and if she did not, then she would have no chance to admit it anyway.

With such thoughts in mind, she was more than shocked when Laurence suddenly came to a halt and stopped her too.

"We have made it," he panted. "We are in the camp of the Seventh Coalition! Look, those are Prussians over there! That is General von Blücher!"

"You mean… we're safe?" Tiana breathed, her tiny green hands pressed on her madly racing heart.

"Yeah, unless you get flattened under the feet of the Anglo-allied soldiers, their horses or their dragons," Naveen commented, "so if I were in your place, I'd keep running until you find Mrs. Laurence."

"But where will we find her? There are thousands of people here!" Tiana said.

"Come, we have to climb," Laurence pointed at a nearby tree.

"Climb, after such a run?!" Tiana grunted. Her muscles were just adequate for balancing several trays packed with beignets at the same time, but not for racing across a battlefield and then climbing a tree!

"Let me help," the captain gently encircled her waist and with an almighty effort jumped upon the lowest branch, then from there to the next above, then the next and the next until they reached the top of the tree, having an excellent view of the fields around. "That is my Temeraire," he pointed at a large black dragon only about two hundred yards to the east. "That is where we shall find my wife. Or at least I hope so. You can stay here if you like, I see you are quite shaken, and you would be safe here."

"If I've come so far, you can't stop me from going further!" she replied testily.

"Wow, a really stubborn lady I've got for myself, eh?" Naveen chuckled.

"You have no idea just how stubborn I can be," she shot back. "Come on, Laurence, I wanna meet your wife and dragon!"

"As you wish," Laurence sighed, "let us descend, then."

And they did.

The Prussians thankfully paid them no attention, as apparently they were not keen on roasted frog legs, not to mention that the Prussian military discipline had always by far surpassed that of the French. Prussians would never be caught chasing frogs when there was a battle to give.

By the time they reached the imaginary dividing line between the Prussian and the British forces, Tiana's energies had completely evaporated and she practically collapsed behind a smaller rock.

"Enough of the wait, let's kills some frogs at last!" someone shouted nearby, and the blood froze in Tiana's veins.

"Not again," she moaned, too exhausted to even open her eyes. "I can't run any more… Laurence, leave me here…"

"Oh, you mean that cry?" Laurence laughed.

Tiana opened one of her eyes, surprised that she could. "These people still wanna kill us, and you're laughin'?"

"No one here wants to kill us, they were not talking about us, but the French," he replied. "The 'frogs' is our nickname for the French. And by the way, the one who shouted was one of my men, second Lieutenant Allen. We're standing right by Temeraire's legs, look!"

And Tiana looked up. And up. And up. And she once again felt she was going to faint.

The dragon was enormous. They might have passed bigger ones among the French forces, but she hadn't given herself time to observe those from her frog prospective, and now sizing up Temeraire felt like the biggest shock of her life.

"I would suggest you stay here behind the rock, but it is not exactly safe, anyone could step on you by mistake," Laurence said, "so please, gather your strength and let us climb the harness."

"You mean… onto his back?" the girl gasped. "No way! I'm not climbing this mammoth!"

"Honey, if I didn't know you better, I would say you've chickened out," Naveen chimed in.

"One, I haven't chickened out, and two, you don't even know me properly, Naveen!" Tiana snapped. "We've known each other for… four hours? Five at most?"

"Five hours and ninety-seven years, dearest, only counted backwards," the prince replied. "And I hope we can spend together just as much time in the future, or almost."

Tiana's lips involuntarily tucked into a smile. "You said that real beautiful, Naveen… Oh, all right, let's climb your dragon, Laurence. But you gotta talk to him first!"

"Of course I will," the captain replied. "But I think I will talk to my wife first. Do you see her? That sandy-haired woman up there?"

"She's a little high up, but looks pretty," Tiana said, slightly surprised.

"That's her?" Naveen gasped. "But that girl is Tiana's age!"

Laurence blushed slightly. "Yes, I know. And?"

"Er… nothing," Tiana giggled. "Lead the way up the harness, Captain Laurence."

o

Emily longed to be at battle at last, to be able to do something – anything – than to sit around here and wait for Wellesley's signal of attack! Her fingers were itching to pull the trigger of her favourite pistol, the one that she was gently polishing in her lap. This particular movement reminded her of something entirely different, and though she managed to fight back a blush, she was sure her husband would not be able to if she only mentioned to him her current thoughts. But he was not around to hear anything she might have mentioned, she reminded herself. Where could he be? What could have happened to him? For the umpteenth time that day she felt an urge to punch that fat man in the face for claiming to be Laurence. Preferably so badly that he would lose some of his front teeth. Not that it could make him look any worse…

As she was so immersed in thoughts about her lost husband and her held-back urges to vent her frustration on the ugly impostor, a pair of frogs jumped on the harness right before her. She instinctively levelled her pistol at them, but when the larger of the two spoke, she nearly dropped the gun in shock. And Emily Roland was normally not the type of girl to drop things when frightened. Well, she was not even the type of girl to get frightened at all.

What shocked her even more than the fact that the frog spoke was the fact that his voice – or its voice? Did frogs have genders at all? – sounded exactly like her lost husband's. However, what shocked her most were those few words the frog said, "Emily, it is me, Laurence!"

"Huh?" was all she managed to reply. The last time she had been really surprised had been eight years earlier when she had accidentally found out that her captain had been shagging her mother. Well, in comparison to this, that piece of information had seemed insignificant and not even nearly unbelievable.

"Emily, it is me, your husband! An evil magician has turned me into a frog and Miss Tiana too. This is her," he pointed at the other frog next to him.

"And me too!" came a voice from nowhere. "I mean, he didn't transform me into a frog, but he deprived me of my gorgeous body and even kidnapped my valet, Lawrence!"

"Your valet, Laurence?" Emily muttered, not even fully realising that she was talking to an invisible person. As the truth dawned on her, she decided that perhaps Temeraire had been right in worrying about her health. Perhaps she really should not have volunteered to take part in this battle at all…

"Yes, my valet!" snapped the voice of the invisible person. "Have you seen him anywhere?"

"But Laurence isn't even a valet, he's a captain," Emily shook her head, deciding that she was hallucinating. This whole madness was not happening to her! Perhaps only her body was playing tricks on her mind. Such things were possible at times like these, her mother had once said so.

"Yes, and he is me," the bigger frog said once more. "Listen, Emily, you have to kiss me, only that can break the curse and change all of us back!"

"Yeah, like in Grimm's fairy tales," the feminine looking frog added. "Please, Mrs. Laurence, do it!"

"Shhh! Are you mad? It's a secret!" Emily pressed her index finger on her lips and looked around suspiciously to see if anyone – besides the crew – had heard how the little frog had addressed her. "I'm officially Miss Roland!"

"Hey, what is this jabbering back there?" Temeraire craned his neck as much as he could to look at the scene taking place on his back. The smaller frog's legs began to tremble in the crossfire of those dark blue dragon eyes.

The male frog, however, paid no attention to his partner's discomfort and addressed the dragon, opening his short green arms towards the enormous head, "Temeraire, it is me, Laurence." His whole body was smaller than any of Temeraire's teeth, but he did not seem afraid at all.

"You've got his voice, that is true, but my captain is not a frog," Temeraire replied.

"Normally I am not, but I have been cursed! Magically transformed!"

"But… there is no such thing as magic," the dragon said, albeit somewhat insecurely.

"Of course there isn't!" Emily snapped, then suddenly stiffened. "Temeraire… do you see them too? The frogs?"

"Of course I do," Temeraire nodded.

Emily gulped. If Temeraire saw the frogs too, then they could not be her hallucinations… could they?

"Why, I see them too," Lieutenant Allen walked up to them from behind and bent over Emily's sitting form to have a look at the tiny amphibians. "Have I heard it correctly that the male claimed he was our captain?"

"I am, Allen," the bigger frog replied.

"Hey, he knows my name! He must be the captain for real!"

"He knew my name too," Temeraire added a little more confidently.

"Everyone in the French army knows your name thanks to Lien, Temeraire," Emily reminded him.

"Are you suggesting these are spy frogs?" came Captain Granby's voice from the back of the adjacent Iskierka.

"Spy frogs?" midwingman Sipho dissolved into laughter. "That's the joke of the century!"

"Then pray, test me! Spies are taught essentials things about those they need to spy after, but not even they can know the most personal things, and I do know very personal things about all of you!" the male frog said with his arms akimbo. He looked so very strict and determined that Emily nearly burst out laughing.

"Personal things? What very personal things are you thinking of?" Iskierka stuck her head closer, making the smaller, feminine looking frog quite visibly gulp and blanch.

"Like…" the male frog scratched his jaw, casting around for ideas, "like…" he turned in Granby's direction, "John, I asked you if you wanted to be my first lieutenant in perfect secrecy, giving you a chance to decline the offer without losing face."

"That he could have told anyone… later," Emily said firmly.

"I would never have done such a thing!" Granby protested. "I kept the secret, Laurence, I did!"

The male frog gave Emily a triumphant look – apparently he had managed to convince Granby of the truthfulness of his words. Then he turned to Temeraire. "My dear, the first time I told you anything nice was weeks after your hatching, right after you saved a sailor who had fallen overboard. No one was there when I told you how well you had done, but you seemed surprised. And I felt so very embarrassed for my earlier coldness towards you..."

Temeraire's ruff flattened to his neck and he looked touched by the memory. "I was indeed surprised, Laurence, because I had thought that was how things were supposed to be: that dragons should never receive praise from their handlers. But that storm and our rescue of Gordon changed everything. You truly became my captain and I finally truly could afford to show how much I loved you."

Now the frog's mouth twitched as though he were fighting to keep his emotions under control. "I love you too, my dear. So much. Does… does this mean you believe me?"

"I do, dear Laurence. But I preferred you as a human."

The female frog and the owner of the invisible voice chuckled, and so did Allen and Granby.

"So… that leaves me as the only sceptic, eh?" Emily crossed her arms. Her heart longed to believe that it was all true, that this tiny creature before her was her husband and she could transform him back by a single kiss, but her over-rational Roland-mind did not allow that. Temeraire and Granby could be hopeless romantic fools, but she had never been. She had always been as tough and practical as her mother. She could not possibly believe such an incredible, idiotic story?

"Well, my love…" the frog began, but Emily held out a hand to stop him.

"Do not call me your love as long as I cannot be sure… but… how could I be sure?" she sighed, wringing her hands. She was well aware that Temeraire's whole crew and possibly the whole of Iskierka's crew were watching the scene. Could she make a complete fool of herself before all these men? She would gladly do it if she were only sure she was talking to her Will, but… "All right, then, Mr. Frog. You said you wanted to be tested through very personal questions. Then do tell, what is Laurence's favourite position in bed?"

"Well…" the frog flushed as deeply as only her husband could and said in a hushed voice, "the horsy position. You riding me."

"Hey, what did he say?" a midwingman from Iskierka's crew shouted. "We haven't heard a thing!"

"He said it was the horsy position, he at the bottom, Emily on top!" Sipho shouted back. "Er… sorry, captain," he added a few seconds later, seeing the male frog hide his face in his palms, "but sooner or later everyone would have found out anyway."

"Thank you, Sipho," Emily said testily, but her heart was excitedly jumping in her chest. She had never told anyone about her love life, so perhaps the frog had been just lucky to guess it, or… "One more test," she said. She had to be absolutely sure. "What is my favourite position in bed?"

The frog moaned, then a long moment of silence ensued. There could be a battle about to start any second, there could be hundreds of dragons and thousands of soldiers bustling around, in Temeraire's vicinity such was the silence that Emily was sure they could have heard a pin drop. Still not removing his hands from his face, peering through his fingers, the male frog said, "The doggy one. Or as we, aviators call it, the dragon-pose."

The silence was broken by Allen's gasp, "You mean, from behind?"

"Wow, Laurence, Emily, I never knew," Temeraire guffawed.

As though Temeraire's laughter had been an invitation for open display of mirth, everyone around began to laugh, Temeraire and Iskiera being the loudest of all. At that moment Emily's eyes met a pair of peremptory but somewhat confused ones in the crowd – those ones belonged to the Duke of Wellington. Apparently his grace could not make anything of this curious pre-battle behaviour.

The voice of the invisible man spoke up, "If I had a hand now, I'd slap you on the back, Laurence. My heartfelt apologies for calling you an invert… I see now you're a real ladies' man."

"He's not a ladies' man, he's only my man," Emily said somewhat sharply.

"You mean… you finally believe it is me?" Laurence said, his ugly bulging eyes bulging even more in hope.

"Yeah, I do," Emily smiled, feeling a bit embarrassed. "And tell you what… it wasn't even your replies to my questions that convinced me… but your blush. No one can blush as cutely as you can, Will, dearest…" With that she lifted the little frog to her lips.

"Wait!" the female frog shouted, making Emily nearly drop her amphibian husband.

"What?" asked Laurence from Emily's palm.

The female frog sent him an impish grin. "You promised to make your wife a little confession. I want to hear that before she kisses you, or I might never hear it."

"Yeah, that one I'm quite curious about too," the invisible man's voice added.

"What confession?" Emily arched an eyebrow at her husband.

Laurence blushed even more and said, "You know, my love, I think I know why I was magically transported to Tiana's world. I think that magic had a mind of its own. It knew I needed to be there, to see things… things that changed my views on… certain other things."

The frog lady motioned him to carry on with a wide grin, and Emily got more and more curious what her husband wanted to tell her. "Certain other things?"

"Yes," Laurence said, straightening his back. "In Tiana's world I realised what a fool I had been about wanting to keep our love and marriage a secret. I have come to realise that we must use every moment together and enjoy it, openly, without shame."

"Oh, finally," Granby rolled his eyes. "I thought you'd never come to your senses, old friend."

Emily too felt like rolling her eyes and saying something sarcastic, but she found she could not. She was too touched for sarcasm, not to mention that it is not easy rolling your eyes when they are filled with tears. So she did the only thing she found worth doing.

"I love you, my dear, silly frog," she said, and kissed her husband's ugly green lips.

oOo

A/N: not over yet! One more chapter coming up!

Reviews would be much appreciated. :)