A/N: yes yes, I know it's been a while since I've updated, but that's because of SEVERAL very important reasons. Most of which I will explain at the END. For now, though, ENJOY!!!

Figure Eight:

Overlook

//The essence of genius is to know what to overlook –William James\\

I was finally back. After three whole years of visiting, I was back, and for good.

It felt... odd. Truth be told, there was little difference between this and any other summer vacation I'd spent. Hitsugaya was always working on paperwork nowadays, and Matsumoto always had something to do too. So, I was left to amuse myself in any way possible. I couldn't wander like I used to because everyone was on guard now, training and whatnot. People were always running around, shouting things, ordering other people around, or getting yelled at. In the 10th Division, everyone was so serious. I guess they'd all rubbed off of Hitsugaya when it comes to work. None of them seemed to be able to take a joke. It was killing me. I hadn't had a good laugh in days. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and decided to visit Kyouraku-taichou to see how he's doing.

At first, Hitsugaya didn't approve, but with a little begging and pouting from my part, he'd reluctantly agreed to let me visit Kyouraku-taichou. Skipping happily, I thought of how wonderful it felt to be out and about again. I was a pretty social person by nature, so being shut up would be the worst type of punishment for me.

"Ohanyou gozaimasu, Kyouraku-taichou!" I said as he opened the door. He seemed slightly shocked upon seeing me, but a smile quickly slid onto his face as he stepped aside to let me in.

"Ohanyou, Takamori-chan! What a pleasant surprise!" he said, sitting down opposite me. I grinned widely at him, looking around the place. It's certainly been a while since I've been in his office. The only thing missing was the ever familiar form of Nanao-fukutaichou behind Kyouraku-taichou all the time. At this thought, I flinched but managed to hide it from Kyouraku-taichou as he was currently staring into his cup of tea.

"How have you been?" I asked. It was the same question I'd asked before I left ten months ago, right after the battle had ended. And as before, I knew he grasped the deeper meaning of that seemingly innocent question.

"Much better, thank you," he said, smiling again. I noticed that it wasn't as forced as it was before, and felt a great weight lift from my chest as if his pain had been keeping me down as well. Now that I think on it, maybe it had. I had a bad habit of caring too much for people. Felix said that it'd be my downfall one day. I don't exactly know what he means, but he sounded quite serious when he said it. Nothing at all like his usual, cheerful self.

"That's good to hear," I said, eyes bright. He did look better. There wasn't that blank expression on his face anymore. He seemed more alive now than back then. The emptiness that filled his eyes every time her name was mentioned was still there, but, I thought dryly, I doubted that would ever go away. Suddenly, I thought about what I would do if Hitsugaya died. My heart clenched and my mind refused to let go of the thought. I would probably never smile or laugh again...

Shaking my head slightly as to get rid of such thoughts, no, he wouldn't die. He couldn't. I wouldn't allow it. I looked back at Kyouraku-taichou. He didn't seem to have noticed my sudden movement as he was still staring into his teacup.

"Have you... found a new Vice Captain yet?" I asked tentatively, afraid of how he'd take the question. But he looked at me, then smiled, shaking his head, and I knew he knew that I meant no harm. Inwardly, I sighed. I knew that for him, finding a new Vice Captain would be tantamount to saying that he's replacing Nanao-fukutaichou. He couldn't do that. But he needed to, for Soul Society. For the first time in a long while, I thought about how cruel Soul Society really was and is. No emotions. No happiness. Nothing but rules and regulations, orders and fighting. But it was full of such wonderful people. In this place where nothing but law mattered, I'd found the person I loved. How could I complain?

"It's a cruel place, Soul Society," Kyouraku-taichou said, nodding as if he could hear my thoughts. I gave him a sad smile, agreeing.

"You sure you can make it here?" he asked, giving me a long, hard look. I looked resolutely back.

"You did," I said. He chuckled, nodding, taking a sip of his drink.

"I did," he agreed and looked back at me, and eyebrow raised.

"So why can't I?" I challenged. He laughed again, reached over and patted my head.

"That's the spirit. Have you thought of entering the Academy yet?" he asked. I frowned. Ever since I came back, that thought has been floating around my head. It just wouldn't leave me alone, and neither would the words he said that accompanied them.

Forever and a day with Hitsugaya-taichou...

"Yeah, I have..." my words trailed off as I stared into the distance, not really seeing the bookshelves that lined the walls. How would Hitsugaya take the news? Would he be happy? Or disapproving? Did I even have what it takes to make it into the Academy? All these questions... I wanted answers. But where to get them...

"And...?" Kyouraku-taichou pressed on. I sighed, looking back down at my teacup again.

"I don't know. I mean, I want to just rest a bit before doing anything. I'm still not used to the idea of staying here for such a long time. I keep thinking that I have to leave after a few months again. And... I don't know how he'll take the news. He's so unpredictable." I said, bringing the cup of tea to my lips and taking a careful sip. Kyouraku-taichou started to laugh. I looked on in surprise.

"What?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"You worry too much. Hitsugaya-taichou would be more than pleased if he hears, you take my word for it. He cares about you much more than he lets on, you know," he said. I blushed. I wish he did... I really do.

"Y-you think so?" I was flustered. It was never comfortable talking about this with people, especially not someone I viewed like a parent. It felt quite like telling my father that I had a boyfriend. Kyouraku-taichou put down his tea and leaned forward.

"I know so."

I nodded, afraid to meet his eyes. The room suddenly seemed too hot to be right. I ran my fingers along the edge of the cup, staring into the green, murky depth of the tea. I saw my own reflection, embarrassed, and a little confused and flustered.

"You really think I should enter the Academy?" I asked in a small voice. Though I showed no doubt that I could before, I knew that Kyouraku-taichou saw through my confidence. I was scared that I couldn't perform up to standards. I mean, I would be going back to the 10th Division every day. What if Hitsugaya asked how I did on an exam or something and I did horribly. What would he say or do? Would he be mad at me? Would he not care? In truth, I wanted neither and both. His being angry would prove that he cared about my grades and how I did, though it would cost me much embarrassment and the pain of having to sit through one of his lectures. His not caring would prove that he didn't really mind my grades, and while I could avoid the lecture and all, I knew it would hurt to know that he didn't mind. I am such an indecisive person. I hated that about myself.

"Yes. Takamori-chan, you worry too much. Trust me, you will be fine. You have enough reiatsu to enter the academy, and you already have an advantage because you know about how the Shinigami system works. All you need to do, is learn how to control the reiatsu you have, and channel it. You'll be seated and ranked in no time," he said. I knew he was exaggerating on that last part, but it felt good to hear. Giving a small smile, I downed the rest of my tea in one. Setting it down on the table, I resolutely looked up at Kyouraku-taichou.

"Alright. I'll ask him about the Academy when I get back to the 10th Division," I said confidently. Kyouraku-taichou smiled and nodded, reaching over to pat my head.

"That's my girl," he said. I grinned. It's been such a long time since I've heard those words said to me.

"That's my girl," my dad used to say to me whenever I showed him a good test score, or my report card. He used to smile and muss up my hair, just like Kyouraku-taichou did. Unbidden and unwanted, pain seeped through my system as I felt my heart clench. I still never got to say goodbye... and all this time, I thought I was over that now. A hot prickling feeling was spreading all through my body as I felt my eyes well up with tears.

"Th-thanks, Kyouraku-taichou. Really." I said, standing up. I avoided his eyes as to hide the fact that my eyes were tearing up.

"Always a pleasure, Takamori-chan. Feel free to visit any time you wish," he said as he held open the door for me. I nodded, and giving him one last smile, stepped out. It was colder out here, without the warming tea and presence of Kyouraku-taichou. I took a deep breath and headed back towards the 10th Division, dodging Shinigami as I went. The visit to Kyouraku-taichou's division had made me feel better. I felt... fuller, more content with myself than I was before. Amazing what a little visit could do, I smiled and thought.

As I reached the 10th Division captain's quarters, I took another deep breath and pushed open the door. Hitsugaya was sitting behind his desk, eyes lowered, pen in hand, famous frown on his face. He didn't look up when I entered and closed the door.

"Tadaima, Toushirou-kun," I announced. He still didn't look up, though his frown deepened. I carefully made my way over to the sofa and sat down, neatly putting my hands on my lap and waited. For about a minute, Hitsugaya did nothing to acknowledge my existence, but when he finally put his pen down and looked at me, there was a small smile on his face.

"Okaeri. How is Kyouraku-taichou?" he asked. I gave a sad little smile.

"Better. Loads better, but still, not very well."

He sighed, looking down at his folded hands.

"That's to be expected." I nodded.

"There's... something I wanted to talk to you about," I said. He looked up, face completely neutral. It would have been impossible to tell what he was thinking. Suddenly, I remembered the time when I could tell what he was thinking just by a glance at his shoulders. I missed those days. Why was it so hard to read him now when it was so easy back them? Is it because of my feelings for him? Could the phrase "Love is blind" really hold meaning? Shaking my head, as if to get rid of these thoughts, I took a deep breath.

"I want... to enter the Academy." I said. There was a silence. A very thick silence. Hitsugaya's frown visibly deepened. Crap, I thought. What's he going to say?

"I suppose... that's a reasonable thought," he said, nodding his head, but still frowning.

"It's just..." he trailed off. I gave him a confused look.

"Just what?"

"After you graduate... but then I could always request you to be in my division... yes... that would be good..." he seemed to be talking to himself more than to me, but my heart swelled at his words. He really did want me in his division. He was nodding again.

"Alright then. Are you sure about this?" he asked. I only hesitated a moment before nodding determinedly. I could do this. I could do this. With him supporting me. I could definitely do this. He smiled. It was the first time in a long while that I've seen him smile. It was just a beautiful as before, if not even more perfect.

"Don't worry about it. I'll take care of everything for you. Just remember that the Shinigami Academy isn't like school in the real world," he said, then stood up. I nodded again, looking up at him. I only now realized how tall he's grown over the past few years. He was now a whole head taller than me. He was much more handsome too, his unique hair and eye colors notwithstanding, he was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen in both worlds.

"Thanks Toushirou," I grinned widely up at him. He only smirked and patted my head. I rolled my eyes. But his hand didn't leave my head. It traveled all the way to my pony-tail, and his smile was replaced by a look of slight shock and lingering admiration. At first, I was confused, but then I realized that the ribbon I'd used to tie my hair was the one that he'd gotten for me at the Coming of the New Year Celebration. With a jolt, I also realized that this year, we would get to go together.

"You're still using it..." he said, as if he'd expected me to stop after the first time. I scoffed and rolled my eyes again.

"No, I'm not. That's another white ribbon I randomly found on the ground," I said, sarcasm obvious in my voice. He smirked wider and flicked my ear. I winced.

"Itai! Hey, that hurt!" I said, pouting. I frowned, folding my arms and glaring down at the table. There was a moment of silence before Hitsugaya started laughing again. And it wasn't just a little chuckle. No. This was honest to goodness laughing. I looked up, forgetting to look pissed off. It was a wonderful sound. Smiling to myself, I sighed. And to think I could spend the rest of my life here, with him. It never really dawned on me like it did right there and then. I didn't have to leave here anymore. I could stay here forever and ever and ever...

The Academy seemed like nothing compared to the trips to Ximax. At least now we're in the same world and dimension. He could come see me any time he wanted, and vice versa. No matter where I was in Soul Society, I would always know that he's here. And as long as he's here, I know he'll find me. One way or another.

And, as long as he's here, I'll always come back to him. One way or another.

"Oi. Quit sitting there and smiling like an idiot and do something productive," he said, flicking my forehead. I frowned. On other hand, maybe this could be a good experience for both of us. See if we could exercise enough self-control. I know that the only reason I don't come back every weekend was because I couldn't create a Senkai Gate to come and visit, but what about him? Did he really miss me as much as I missed him? I didn't think so somehow. Sighing, I stood up and stretched. He smirked, shook his head, and went back to his desk, resuming his never-ending stream of paperwork.

The rest of the weeks until the end of June passed rather uneventfully. Nothing much happened as the days slowly rolled pass. Hitsugaya and I got along just as we did before, occasionally getting into a fight, but nothing big happened. That is, until Hinamori started visiting him again. Sometimes, I think that she just doesn't have anything to do, which is confusing because Division 5 currently doesn't have a Captain, so she should have temporarily taken over all of the Captain's duties. Yet she still comes to the 10th Division 'just to visit an old friend'. If the 5th Division is anything like the 10th, then that girl should be working her ass off, not dilly-dallying around all the time.

"Shouldn't she be working?" I asked as Hinamori left from yet another 'visit'. Hitsugaya shrugged, not looking up from his paperwork. I rolled my eyes and continued.

"I mean, Division 5 still doesn't have a Captain, and since she's the Vice, shouldn't she be doing everything the Captain did?" I asked. Hitsugaya shrugged again.

"Yeah, she should." I raised my eyebrows.

"And is she?"

"Maybe..." I growled. He's being vague. And he's usually never vague. He's always straightforward and to the point, even to the point of painfully blunt sometimes, yet here he was, avoiding my question.

"I don't know how she has so much time to be wandering around like this," I said, looking down at my nails. Distinctly, I heard his pen stop moving and looked up. He was frowning at me.

"And in what place are you to be criticizing her? She's a Vice Captain. If she finishes all her work, then she can do as she pleases. Maybe her squad members are more helpful than mine are," he said, glaring in the direction of Matsumoto's desk, which was also stacked high with papers. Her chair was empty.

"On top of that, at least she does work, compared to you. All you do is sit around all day, reading comics and bothering me," he said, lowering his eyes back to his desk. I narrowed my eyes.

"For you information, Hitsugaya-taichou, I've been doing research on the Academy and have been studying for the Entrance Exams. I'm not reading comics," at this, I raised the book I was reading so that he could see the cover bearing the title: Shinigami Academy Exam Preparation, "I borrowed this book from Ukitake-taichou, who got it from the Library for me. And there's another stack of books in my room, that I've been reading as well. All of them are prep books for the Academy." Hitsugaya looked stunned, but no less annoyed. He changed tack at the speed of light.

"Hinamori-fukutaichou, is still of higher standing than you are, therefore, you are in no place to say or speculate anything about what she is or is not doing. It is not your place." My eyes narrowed even more and I glared at him. Snapping the book shut, I sat up straighter and faced him.

"You're right. I am in no place to judge her, but that doesn't mean I can't ask questions about -" he cut me off.

"You do not question the behaviour or choices of those who have higher standing than you do in the Gotei 13. Those are the rules. Surely if you've been studying for the Academy, you would know that." I twitched in annoyance and took a deep breath to calm myself down. He was just acting infuriating today. He wasn't usually like this. I didn't know that guys could PMS this badly. Screw the rules, I thought, wasn't he the one that broke about half of those damned rules to come save me in Hueco Mundo? Where did the rules go then? When I asked him this, he slammed his hand down on the table, almost upsetting the bottle of ink and glared at me.

"Would you have preferred it if I hadn't come to save you then?" he asked angrily. I shot a glare back.

"Maybe I would have. At least I had some damned respect in that place," I said. That was it. I knew it even before I'd finished the sentence. I'd crossed the line.

"What respect?! Do you call brainwashing a person and making them do whatever you wanted respect?! Are you saying that I don't respect you?!" he said, making his way around the table until he stood right in front of me, glowering down at me. I stared determinedly back up at him.

"No to the first and second, but yes to the third," at this point, I knew I was bluffing, but I was angry, and anything that would piss him off was OK with me. For a second, I saw something flicker in those perfect eyes of his, now ablaze with anger and frustration. It looked like hurt, and pain, but he hid it away quickly enough. And for a moment, I felt bad for saying those words. I knew they weren't true. I knew that he respected me more than anyone.

"Then perhaps I shouldn't have saved you if I knew this is what you thought," he said, looking away and folding his arms. My eyes softened as I looked at him. Now that I could no longer see the anger in his eyes, I felt my own anger ebb away, replaced by guilt. I sighed, then took a step forward. I raised a hand and carefully placed it on his arm, expecting him to shrug it away, but he didn't move.

"Toushirou... I'm..." but he lowered his arms and sighed as well, turning back to me. I looked up into his eyes. They were over bright and glassy. I gave him a sad smile.

"...sorry..." I said, lowering my eyes. I heard him sigh, but didn't lift my head. I felt his arms wrap around me, just like they had before, so many times before. I closed my eyes. Would it always be like this? Would it always be this easy to make up with him? I hoped it would, but I knew it wouldn't. I knew that we'd get into bigger fights, and probably not speak to each other for days on end, but I also knew that we'd always find some way to apologize to each other. Because that's just how we were. Neither of us willing to sit there and just take it. We both had strong personalities, and perhaps that's what drew us to one another. But we also had strong bonds, bonds that just a couple of fights won't be able to break up. We were stronger than that. I knew it now.

"It's fine," he said, gently placing a hand at the back of my head and stroking my hair. For a few moments, we didn't speak, nor did we need to. I knew, as he did, that both of us were forgiven and that after we broke apart, neither of us would bring it up again. I raised my arms and wrapped them tightly around his form, drawing him closer. I didn't want to let go, nor did I want him to let go.

Oh please, I begged silently to some unknown entity, please don't take him away from me. Please don't let this end... please... He's the most important thing to me in my life. If he went, I might be able to shut the feelings away, but they'd never fully go away. I'd realized this before, but the impact of the truth fell on me now harder than it ever had before. It made me feel impossibly weak. Weak and vulnerable. I felt that if he was taken away, I wouldn't be able to go on. Before, I thought that I could move on from anything, but now... I was beginning to doubt myself. Was I really that weak? Was I really that dependant on him? So dependant that I wouldn't be able to live without him?

Maybe. I wouldn't know. He hasn't gone yet, and I hoped and prayed he wouldn't. Our relationship wasn't something that happened over night. It was something that was built, block by block over years and years of trusting, hating, fighting, and loving. This was something more than the average school crush, much more. I'd come to realize that too.

Nothing was temporary with him. Everything had its lasting impact and mark upon him, and me as well. When I first admitted to myself that I liked him, I'd expected as much. And when he admitted to me that he liked me as well, I knew this wasn't going to end after just a week or two, and it didn't. I didn't expect or want it to. I wanted this to be just like Kyouraku-taichou said, forever and a day.

A/N: Alrighty, here are my reasons for being ULTRA late. My computer showed me the blue screen of death again. And this time, it died COMPLETELY, to the point of refusing to even turn on. I had to physically remove the harddrives, format them while trying to save as many files as possible, and stick it back into the computer. It took a while. Number TWo: HIGHSCHOOL. School is starting. And I've had LOADS to do. I'll try to keep updating through the schoolyear, but I'm not so sure anymore. T^T Work is going to be doubled once school starts. -tear tear- So as for the HitsuxKarin fic that I've been planning, it'll be a while before it comes up, but you can rest assure that it WILL be put up. ^^

For those of you who thought I'd abandoned this story... HOW COULD YOU???? XD LOL Jkjk, but seriously, I would NEVER abandone a story. EVER, unless there was something SERIOUSLY wrong with it. ^^ Anyways, those are my reasons.

Okie! time to thank those who reviewed! And here they are!

HeadstrongNozomi, lose-your-voice, CRdragonPyro, WinterVines, Jibun no Omoi, Orangesz, Sweet Nightmare's Good Byes, icedragon205, NinjaLadyHinata, xEnmaAi, dolphinrider22, Hikari6007, Disturbed00Psycho, erina destiny

THANK YOU EVERYONE! And please continue supporting this story till the end. Which is... now that I think on it... not very far away. I know, sad right? XD