Saturday, Sept 2nd
9:00 am
Up at the crack of crack.
Why is georgia up already?
it's only 9:00
on a saturday.
9:33 am
"Libby Get Up!"
"Why?" i asked
"We're going on a family outing..." yelled mum from outside my door.
Family outing?
I can only remember 3 'Family outings'.
Once,Vati fell down a badger hole.
The second time, Mutti's bikini top'fell' off in the public pool
The third time, Grandad nearly drowned in our paddling pool and Vati had to call emergency services...
12:30 pm
I have been dragged here under duress.
actually, the only reason i came was because none of my so-called mates were home. they've probably gone out together. They probably have actually. Nobody cares about me.
4:00 pm
Finally back at loon central. thank baby jesus's trousers nothing catastrophic happpened
4:15 pm
Ooer!
lad alert!
oscar across the road is mowing his lawn without a shirt...
i wonder...if he would notice if i just sort off shouted 'hey hot stuff' out my window...
4:25 pm
"Libby, do you really fancy me?"
What do i say...Oscar i fancy you socks off and want to go all the way right here...or do i saw No, Oscar, you are a repulsive, ugly, cretin?
"Nghhhhhhhhh"
"What?"
"Yghhhhhhh"
"What?"
"YES, I FANCY YOU OK?"
Oh dear. perhaps that was little too strong
"Libby...I er...wanted to say this before but"
"Your girlfriend was there?"
"Er...no actually, i dont have a girlfriend"
"Really?"
"Yes. Libby...erm...ok...I..." then he snogged me he SNOGGED me!
"Lets go see a film sometime...ok?"
he went back to mowing the lawn, and i pranced back inside as happy as a happy thing.
5:30 pm
"Who was that boy you were with?" demanded vati as soon as i got through the door
"What boy?" i asked
"Albert...Andrew...whatever his name is across the road"
"Oscar?"
"Yes. him. what were you doing?"
"erm...talking"
"Oh really..." said mutti "i thought i saw a snog"
Vati went balistisicmus then "But he's almost georgia's age!" he ranted and raved about how im much too young to be dating
7:30 pm
In my room. hiding from the olds.
i dont see the big deal. i mean, georgia went out with Robbie,
and he was older.
and she was 14.
7:31 pm
ok, and now shes preggers
but still.
just the thought of the full monty makes me feel sick...
8:00
i mean...i dont see how georgia could have done...
ERLACK!
i think i must go to bed now.
night night one and all
Sunday, Sept 3rd
11:15 am
as usual, muti has not bothered to make a yummy sunday breakfast...in fact, she and dad are sitting at the table, looking very serious
scary bannanas
11:16 am
I wonder what they want
11:18 am
I get it.
they want to 'have a talk' with me...
11:30
After fumbling around for a bazillion hours, vati speaks
"Libby, i know you think you're a big girl now"
Oh dear lord save me... its the sex talk
he continues "but really, you're only 14...and oscar is?..."
"um 22"
"22. right...sooo um sometimes, older men only want to um...help me out dear"
"Libsy, what your dad is saying is that you and oscar probably dont have that much in common...and he might want something more out of the relationship." says mutti
"Like sex?" i ask
"Er yes...like that" says vati,
"Libs, darling...sex is something that happens when two responsible, mature people love each other very much" explains mum
"Or...they could be stupid, and immature, people who get preggers...like Georgia"
"Liberty! dont be cheeky!"
"Bob..i'll handle this..." said mutti"Yes libby, and thats why we dont think you should see oscar"
"In case i get knocked up?"
"Erm yes...libby...do you know where babies come from?" asked vati
"YES" i yelped before making a mad dash to my room