Figure Thirteen: Transparent
//Eyes so transparent that through them, the soul is seen ~ Theophile Gautier\\
"Ah... that was nice..." Matsumoto sighed as she dried off her hair and slipped into her kimono. I paused while drying my own hair and grinned to myself. That certainly was nice. All the knots in my muscles seemed to have loosened up and... Hitsugaya... At this thought, I couldn't help but mentally squeal. He'd stuck up for me...
"Mina-chan? Are you done yet?" Realizing my position, I quickly finished drying my hair and put on my kimono. Running my fingers through my still damp hair, I followed Matsumoto out of the changing rooms and through the lobby of the inn, heading up the stairs and through a rather small hallway to the third to last door. Knocking once, Matsumoto slid it open and stepped inside. There were futons already set for three, and a small table. Supper, or what Matsumoto called a 'Midnight Feast' was set up on the table. Hitsugaya was already sitting there, a slight impatience in his voice as he spoke.
"Why do women take so long with everything? They have to make a scene no matter what they do." He frowned at us as we settled down by the table.
"We girls just like to take our time! We have to look good for all occasions, right Mina-chan?" I shrugged, deciding that not answering would be the safest way to go.
"Itadakimasu!" we chorused, before each digging in to the various dishes laid out before us. It was delicious. Food after a long soak in the onsen really was nice. Matsumoto hummed happily as she proceeded to chomp through the many dishes on the table, while Hitsugaya ate in a more... respectable manner, though he did seem less tense than usual.
I chewed slowly, savoring both the food. It was really moments like these that make me smile when I looked back on things I've done. It was moments like these that I treasured much more than the rest. It was moments like these that were truly worth remembering. Because they were untainted by any foul emotions. They were pure, and nice, and innocent. A constant reminder that it's the little things in life that makes the difference.
"Uwahhhh! I'm so full!" Matsumoto fell backwards onto the tatami mat, arms splayed out and eyes closed, a goofy, satisfied smile on her face.
"Mm... this is so nice! We should do this more often, Taichou!" She sat up and smiled brightly at Hitsugaya, who was wiping off his mouth. He gave her a look before lowering his eyes again.
"We could if someone got their work done on time." He didn't sound angry, or even resentful. It was merely a statement, and any outsider wouldn't have known who this 'someone' was, but I smiled. Matsumoto gave him a sheepish grin before laying back down again. I stood up, carrying the empty plates and stacking them neatly so that the workers could pick it up. Hitsugaya got up to help.
"That was fun," I said, without looking at him. I heard the shuffling of his cloths stop for a moment before it started again. I chanced a glance at him.
"Yes, that was." An ever so faint smile spread across his face. I sighed contentedly and continued cleaning up the plates. Silence. But not an uncomfortable silence, rather... an expectant silence.
"Hey..." we both said, looking up at the same time. I laughed. He gave a small smile.
"You go first," I said. He shook his head.
"Ladies first." I rolled my eyes.
"Such a gentlemen," I said, but the smile was quickly replaced by a slight frown as I addressed the topic on mind... the engagement.
"So erm... about this... engagement thing..." I blushed and quickly looked away. He gave a slight cough, also averting his eyes.
"Yeah... so... uh... this whole thing was... Soutaichou, right?" He nodded quickly. I nodded as well. Silence. This time, it was quite awkward.
"Though I think Kyouraku-taichou and Ukitake-taichou came up with it initially..." he said. I nodded again. I knew it was them... but the engagement?
"I don't think they meant this to happen though..." I let my voice trail off. I didn't look up, but I felt more than heard that Hitsugaya had moved. When I did gather enough courage to lift my head, I noticed that he was much closer than before, and was looking at me with a strange, but not an all unfamiliar light in his eyes.
"I think... it would have been like this either way." I was confused. There was something, something in his voice that was ever so different. Something that made him sound... so unlike himself. I knew this side of him, though admittedly, I'd only seen it a couple times myself.
"Toushirou...?" He took a step closer. I stood up, still having to lift my head to meet his eyes. And it wasn't the first time I'd realized just how much he'd grown. He was just a bit taller than me the first time we met and now... he could have put his chin on my head.
"I... I would have... asked for the same sooner or later..." Unlike last time, we held each other's gaze. My heart was thumping in my chest again, so loudly that I would've bet Matsumoto could hear it, wherever she decided to slip off to.
"And... what's that?" A part of me already knew the answer... but just for the sake of hearing him say it. Just for the sake of hearing his voice say those words to me...
"The engagement." The answer was simple, but it had successfully stopped time for that mere moment. Everything literally stopped, and nothing was alive anymore other than the two of us. My heart stopped and my brain stopped. My body felt light, as if I was suddenly filled with air. I felt like I could float off the ground and keep floating till I lay amongst the stars.
"You would have..." I didn't finish the sentence. I couldn't, because at that moment, his lips landed upon mine. It wasn't the first time we'd kissed, but it sure felt like it. It was everything that the books described it to be, and just simple bliss. The butterflies, the warmth that spread through every vein and vessel of your body. The temporary paralysis and then the rush of adrenaline. Everything. Everything and anything that could have been felt at that particular moment in time, I felt it.
It seemed much, much too short. Only a few seconds before he pulled back. Neither of us were out of breath, but both of us were panting. Neither of us were feeling very hot, but both of our cheeks were bright red. It was... something other-worldly we had just experienced. I was sure of it.
And the best part of it was... there was no one to stop us this time. Nothing to stand in between... or so we thought. But we didn't realize it then, nor for a long time afterwards...
A week had passed since the hot-spring weekend and things went back to normal, or as normal as it ever got. The Captains and Vice Captains had to swear that they would not let out information about our... engagement until it was so disclosed by Soutaichou, but the news leaked out anyways, as we knew it would, but luckily, the students at the Academy did not seem to be privileged enough to know this 'top-secret' information. School went on for me, and Hitsugaya and I picked up 'training' again. Once again, I had to face him on the field, and not someone else who knew just as much about sparring as I did, and maybe even less. I'd forgotten just how powerful he was, and let me tell you, it was a brute awakening for the both of us. Hitsugaya, needless to say, was none too pleased.
"I thought you said you kept up with practice!" He said after one very hectic sparring session. I was sore all over and had various bruises and cuts. He was fuming. I only rolled my eyes and scowled.
"Well I told you didn't I? No one there was as good as you are. They weren't even close! Some of them had trouble holding the sparring sword! How did you expect me to improve like that?" He only shook his head and heaved a heavy sigh.
"You're too uptight about all this. I'm doing fine in school! My grades aren't bad and all my teachers say I'm improving!" It ticked me off how he was the only one not satisfied. Heck even I was satisfied. VERY satisfied I might add. I didn't think I could do this good, but it's all thanks to him in the end. I knew that deep in my heart. It was all because of him.
"You got three problems wrong on your last test. How is that good?" He rounded on me as soon as we closed the door of the 10th Division office. I glared up at him and bit my lip. How many times did I have to explain before he understood?
"It was out of 100 problems! I still placed as one of the highest in the class!"
"I looked over those problems and the mistakes you made, they were all silly mistakes! If you'd just paid a bit more attention, you would have gotten them all right!"
"Well sorry I'm not the perfect person you want me to be!"
He froze. Suddenly, it seemed like he was at a loss for words. I was still glaring up at him. Man, did that boy have stick up his ass or what? What the hell was his problem anyways? A 97 out of 100 was a perfectly good score! Not even half the class got that high.
"I never... said I wanted you to be... perfect." His voice had changed, and all of a sudden, he seemed remorseful for the words he'd said. I relaxed too. I shouldn't have said that. I knew he was only worried, but... it was on the spur of the moment and I'd...
"Sit down and let me look at your wounds." He turned very abruptly and went to get the medicine kit. I smiled to myself and sat down, rolling up my sleeves. He returned with bandages and a sufficient amount of the same ointment he'd used on me before, which he applied to all the cuts and bruises he could before taping or bandaging them. All of this was done in careful silence. I watched him as he worked through all the wounds he could, each move deliberate and delicate. He knew exactly what he was doing, and exactly how he should do it. I smiled to myself again.
"Thanks..." I said as he finished and began packing all the medicines back into the medicine box.
"Hn." Was his only reply before he went to put away the box. I waited patiently. When he came back, he avoided my eyes and went straight for his desk. I sighed and leaned back onto to the sofa, enjoying the silence.
"Did you finish all your school work for the day?" I told him I did. He only nodded.
"I hear there's another exam next week, have you been studying?" I told him I have. He nodded again.
"I'll see how far you got."
And from then on, he helped me with everything he deemed appropriate. Whether it be written exams, weekly quizzes, or physical tests and different challenges and assignments on reiatsu control. Kidou was especially difficult for me since my powers were linked with the 'enchantment' of the air and was suppressed in Soul Society. I could never fully control my reiatsu and whenever I tried, disastrous things happened.
"Eek! I'm so sorry!" I said as another piece of rock blew up dangerously close to where we were standing. Hitsugaya only sighed and ignored my apologies, going onto explain the specifics on reiatsu control.
"Now try that again," he said after he finished a lengthy explanation of how concentration and the focusing of one's reiatsu to one point are of the utmost importance. I nodded, a bit afraid of the results, closed my eyes, and concentrated as hard as I can.
BOOM! CRASH!
"Ack! Sorry!" I covered my mouth as Hitsugaya jumped out of the way of a falling boulder, which smashed into the ground. I felt the earth tremble beneath my feet and saw the dust and rubble fly up to mix with the air. This is never going to work...
"Concentrate, concentrate! Focus on moving all of your reiatsu to the palms of your hands and forcing them out. Don't forget the incantation." He moved behind me, placing a hand on my back. His touch was surprisingly calming to me. Took a deep breath and screwed my eyes shut before focusing all my power to the palms of my hands. I chanted the incantation and heard a boom, but this time, when I opened my eyes, I did not scream out apologies. In fact, I didn't even scream at all. There was a hole in the target. Admittedly, it was still quite a bit from the middle, but at least I hit the target this time, and did not cause some random object to combust.
"I hit it!" I said, turning joyously on the spot and bouncing up and down. I smiled brightly at Hitsugaya. He only gave me an exasperated grin and shook his head. But he smiled nonetheless.
"You're hopeless, you are..." he said as I whooped and danced around. However, a familiar figure made me pause in my movements.
"R-Ryouta-kun?" The sandy-haired boy was walking my way. Surprised was an understatement for what I felt right there and then. It was the weekend, so nobody usually came to the school training grounds. The whole thing was empty other than Hitsugaya and me, and now Kimura. What the hell was he doing here? We were banking on not being spotted or disrupted.
"Ah, Minako-san! Doing some training over the weekend? Or... not..." he said as he spotted Hitsugaya behind me. He bowed very deeply while Hitsugaya inclined his head politely.
"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Hitsugaya-taichou," Kimura said once he raised his head. There was a huge smile on his face, and when Hitsugaya didn't say anything other than a grudging 'Nice to meet you too,' he turned back to me.
"Ne, Minako-san, when are we going on that date you promised me. It was quite a while ago, but I remember you saying something about how you couldn't go, and you'd make it up to me later." I mentally face-palmed. Right... about that. To tell the truth, I'd completely forgotten about him in all this recent... stuff. What with moving back to the 10th Division and the... engagement... I didn't really have time to think about trivial things like a promised date.
"Uh... I... don't know... When do you have time, Ryouta-kun?" I asked, fully aware of the annoyed expression on Hitsugaya's face. It made me feel immensely happy and worried at the same time that he was jealous of Kimura. Happy because it meant he really cared, not that I didn't know that anyways, and worried because I was afraid of what his reaction to all this might be. I didn't want to get into another fight with him. Better play it safe for now.
"Any time is fine with me!" I refrained from rolling my eyes.
"Well, I don't really know either. How about I get back to you on that? For now, I really have to go. Hitsugaya-taichou and I had some matters to... erm... attend to..." I lied quickly and before he had a chance to say much else, began to walk out of the training grounds as fast as I could without appearing suspicious, Hitsugaya following behind me after another dip of the head towards Kimura.
"Who was he?" Hitsugaya asked, trying to make it sound like a flyaway question of now real importance, but I noticed a small edge to it. I almost giggled.
"Nobody. Just a friend from school," I said with the hint of a tease. He narrowed his eyes. I simply shrugged and kept on walking.
"Just... a friend?" I noticed that he tried not to put too much emphasis on the first word, but failed miserably. I mentally laughed. He was jealous. There was no doubt about it. It's not something you see very often, after all. I nodded. He was still looking at me with that same distrustful gleam in his eye. I rolled my own and kept walking.
"Believe what you will then." He seemed unconvinced. Well I wasn't about to go on a huge defense of myself if he wasn't even going to trust me with matters such as this. But then I thought back on it and realized I didn't trust him either. Not when I'd caught him talking to Hinamori. The girl still made me slightly uncomfortable, and I could tell that the feeling was mutual. She didn't like me very much either. I don't know why, but she always gave me a foreboding feeling. I was extra careful around her, not to mention extra observant. Anything she did that was out of the ordinary, or if it seemed so to me, I would take note and keep it in the back of my mind, only to ponder over it for hours upon hours later when I was all alone in the confines of my bedroom. There was one thing in common between the two of us though, the thing that both brought us 'together' in a sense and kept us apart. Hitsugaya. He was the center around which all of our actions around each other rotate. And he was the reasoning behind out inability to be more than just forced-friendly around one another. It wasn't his fault, naturally, and be probably didn't even know of this silent 'war', should we call it for lack of a better word, that went on.
The more I thought about this, the more guilty I felt. Although Hitsugaya had told me on more than one occasion that he loved me, and had shown it to me under various situations as well, I couldn't help but mistrust his actions around Hinamori. She had so much more 'right' to him than I did. It's this cycle all over again. Insecurity, confrontation, explanation, reassurance, and a hanging doubt. Then it starts all over again as that doubt grows. As much as I loved Hitsugaya and as much as I treasure the bonds between us, I was growing tired of being like this all the time. Did we really 'love' each other as much as we claim when we can't even bring ourselves to do something so simple as to trust the other not to cheat with a member of the opposite sex?
I mean, I don't get nervous when he's with any other girl, because I know that they wouldn't dare to do anything out of the ordinary. Hitsugaya's much too sharp not to notice any of their advances. Matsumoto is just out the question. They have too much of an... odd relationship for it to turn into anything else. But Hinamori. She satisfied all the standards of a potential opponent. And what do you know... she's become one. At least in my eye.
Before I knew it, my thoughts had taken us back to the 10th Division where Hitsugaya held the door opened for me as I walked inside. I glanced at him. He still seemed slightly bothered by our little encounter with Kimura.
"Toushirou." He paused on his way to the desk and turned. I looked him dead in the eye. I wasn't smiling. He turned to face me. He knew I was serious.
"Do you trust me?" He frowned and took a few steps forward.
"Why would I not?" I also took a few steps forward so that we were almost face to face. I searched his eyes. I knew he wasn't lying, but it never hurt to check.
"Then why do you seem so worried?" He didn't answer and seemed to ponder the question. Then he sighed and turned away, shaking his head.
"I... I don't know." I smiled softly to myself before taking a few swift steps to him, wrapping my arms around him, and pressing my face to his back. I felt him stiffen and then loosen. He made no move to pry me away. He didn't move, only stood there and let me hug him. I buried my face in his back, taking deep breaths. I felt his heartbeat under my hands. It was slow and steady, strong... I smiled again.
When finally I did let go, he didn't turn, only resumed the walk to his desk as if nothing had ever happened, but I saw that ghost of a smile that danced across his lips for a swift second before disappearing. I knew he got the message.
A few more weeks passed like this. Calm and pleasing. But I knew it was all too good to last. And no sooner did I realize this then things began to happen. More specifically, I began having reoccurring dreams. They were not nightmares, nor were the particularly good or funny in any way. They were just that. Dreams.
It always started with me being on a wide, grassy expanse of land. The sky was always cloudless and blue. The wind was always breezing by softly, stirring the grass, so that they rippled like the waves in the sea. Then, I would hear this chirping, very softly at first, but louder and louder the more I looked for it. The dream built upon itself, like a book, chapter by chapter, scene by scene. Every night I got a bit more out of the dream than I did the night before. It didn't scare me, more like... entranced me to a point where I would do nothing but think about it for the whole day. But tonight... it finally revealed its secret.
I was standing on that same wide expanse of the blue-green grass. The sky was blue, and the wind was light. The grass danced just as it normally did. The chirping started, and I began to look around for it. The harder I looked, the louder it became, until I was sure that whatever animal was creating the sound was right next to me. I looked right, nothing. I looked left. Nothing. Then, I looked up.
And there it was. A bird. Not the biggest bird I'd ever seen, nor the smallest, but definitely the most beautiful. The plumage was azure blue with only the smallest patch of light orange on its chest. The down feathers were white and fluffy. It twittered and it cheeped, fluttering around. It was quite the energetic little animal. I couldn't help but laugh as it did flips and twirls in the air, dancing around my head.
"What a cute little thing..." I said. It let out a string of shrill cheeps and proceeded to try and land on my head. I giggled.
"I like you." I almost had heart failure. Gasping, I put a hand over my heart to calm its frantic beats. The bird had taken flight again, hovering in front of my face.
"I'm sorry, did I give you a scare?" It sounded concerned. I looked up at it, hand still over my chest. The bird was talking to me... I blinked at it a few times before shaking my head. It seemed content with my answer and did a once around of my head before coming to a stop in front of my face.
"Well then, do you like me too?" I stared at it. Not really knowing what to say. I nodded. What else could I have said to answer that question from such an adorable little creature? It gave a happy 'tweet' and did a summersault.
"Alright then! Will you wield me? Then we can be together forever!" I blinked at it. Wield? What did it mean 'wield'? I couldn't use that little bird for anything... could I?
"Let me introduce myself. My name is – "
"Takamori! Get your ass out of bed now!" I jumped and scrambled out of bed, successfully getting tangled up in the sheets, tripping, and landing on my face. I groaned and pulled myself up, rubbing my bruised nose.
"Ow..."
"Oi! Takamori!" The door banged open and a very frustrated-looking Hitsugaya stood there with his arms crossed.
"Get out of –" He paused as he saw the ungainly position I was in, and barely suppressed a snicker. "What happened?" I glared at him, straightening out the tangled sheets and rubbing my nose, which was still throbbing.
"I fell out of bed and landed on my face because you were yelling at me!" I said resentfully, looking away as a laugh escaped his lips. He walked in and sat down next to me, removing my hand from my face and examining my nose. Our faces were closer than they should be, but he didn't seem to notice as he leaned in further still, a small frown on his face.
"It doesn't look broken or anything. Just a bruised." I nodded, raising my hand again to gingerly touching my nose. I winced as pain ricocheted through it. Pushing it away, I focused on the subject of matter that I desperately wanted to talk to Hitsugaya about. The dream.
"Um... Toushirou?" He paused, turning back to face me. A small frown creased my forehead as I tried to choose the proper phrasing for what I was about to say.
"I had a... dream last night. And um... it was kind of... different from regular dreams." I looked down at my hands, embarrassed. What happened to the carefully thought out words that I'd prepared? Why did they all fall apart the moment I opened my mouth to speak?
"A dream?" I heard the perplexity in his voice. He backtracked a few steps and sat back down on the edge of my bed. I nodded.
"There was a bird, and then it started talking to me. It was asking me if I..." oh what's the word it used, "Oh yeah, it asked me if I would 'wield' it." I said, suddenly remembering. I looked up at him. He was frowning, as if considering my words. I went on.
"I was confused, because you can't 'wield' an animal. You can only do to objects, right?" He shook his head, successfully quieting me. I simply looked on as he got up and began to make small rounds in front of my bed.
"I think... that was your Zanpakutou spirit."
A/N: And there you have it. Another update. ^^ not THAT slow, right? Anyways! Review if you'd like. ^^ There's only one more chapter to go before the series ends! OHNOES! XD