Levi has aged since the expedition where he lost nearly his entire squad. He doesn't look older, but there's a certain solemnity that had previously existed only in certain moments. Now, his slate blue eyes often hold that faraway sorrow.
"He's mourning, love," Erwin tells her when she's left with him for a few hours. "He was like this after his former companions died, as well. Give him time."
She nods, wanting to ask about those companions, but unwilling to violate Levi's privacy. She knows their names through careful observation, and that they were also scouts, but nothing else.
She stays with Erwin a few hours a week, left after meetings with a press of lips to her forehead before Levi bade her goodbye. It's usually on days when he isn't sure when he will return for the night. Sometimes Erwin tucks her into hers and Levi's shared bed and she wakes with the small man's arms wrapped around her.
There's a lot going on, not least of which is that the Female Titan, the supposed abnormal that killed Levi's squad, is Annie Leonhart. She was in the 104th Cadet Corps with Eren and his friends. The blonde girl is encased in an unbreakable crystal cocoon. Not even Eren's Titan strength can shatter it.
Erwin combs his fingers through her hair, left loose around her shoulders in soft curls. "You look quite cute like this," he murmurs, other hand touching the silken fabric over her stomach. Or, rather, the fabric over the corset Levi laced her into this morning.
"Don't tell Levi; he'll use it to justify dressing me up more often," she grumbles. "The corsets and the shoes are both uncomfortable."
"Your waist is practically nonexistent." The large man's fingers drum on her side in emphasis.
"I'm sure he could find one for you if you want to wear one yourself."
Erwin chuckles. "I prefer them on you, but that's a kind offer."
Gilda falls silent, allowing him to return to his work. At three, she slips off his lap and heads down to prepare tea. Levi should return soon, and he's taught her how to prepare a proper tea service. It's one of the few times she is allowed to provide a service other than playing doll, and she's found that she enjoys it nearly as much as he does.
He'd taken her to a tea parlor, something she wasn't aware even existed until they visited together. There, the graceful older woman who owned the place went over the finer details of tea service, which ended up being far more extensive than she'd ever imagined.
"Take care not to hit the silverware against the teacup, dear," the silver-haired woman told her when Gilda stirred a touch of sugar into her cup. That one little detail means she has to pay attention to both the breadth and depth her spoon ventures, a harder feat than it seems.
There is a proper way to pour (also silent) and a proper way to lay out the service itself. And why both the action and the setting for the tea use the same term is beyond her.
Regardless, they spent hours in the little parlor until Gilda could recite all the rules back to Madam Esther to the woman's satisfaction.
Lest it steep too long, Gilda lays the strainer with black tea leaves on a napkin folded atop the tray.
"Perfect timing," Levi remarks when she re-enters Erwin's office. He's seated across from his friend and his blue smoke eyes gleam as they settle on her.
She places the tray on the low table, removes the teapot lid, and settles the strainer inside it. "Welcome back."
The two men then continue their conversation.
After a few moments, Gilda pours tea into the three porcelain cups, adding cream to two and sugar to only one of those, then takes up her own for a sip.
"Thank you, darling," Erwin says to her.
Levi doesn't thank her, but she's aware he appreciates it by the hand he lays on her thigh, adding a light squeeze as he tries his own cup. She eyes the odd way he holds his cup; he's always aware of his strength when he touches her, but he's had trouble with porcelain enough to mind his grip. When their cups run empty, she refills them from the teapot. Her hands are careful and sturdy, not a tinkle of the metal against the cup when she stirs.
"You've improved," he tells her once he's sipped from the lip of teacup visible between gripping thumb and fingers. "It isn't too strong this time."
Gilda flushes at the praise. Levi is usually stingy with kind words, especially in front of others. "Thank you." Once they have polished off the tea, she returns it to the kitchen. She cleans the service, then returns it to its place and goes to their rooms.
As expected, Levi is behind his desk and scribbling away at paperwork. "Sit," he instructs, not even glancing up to see if it's actually her; then again, there are few who would enter without knocking. Hange is one, but they would have been much louder about it.
Gilda takes her usual seat, ankles demurely crossed, and hands folded in her lap. Whenever he dresses her this way, it sets the tone he expects for the day. She is to be silent unless given explicit permission, and to sit or stand in certain ways. When in the less restrictive clothing, she is given more leeway. She was only allowed to make tea since he told her when he'd return and that he'd want it. Otherwise, even that is forbidden on days such as this.
There's a knock a few hours later and Krista, a petite blonde who Gilda thinks is far more doll-like than herself, enters bearing a tray.
"Here you are, captain," she says cheerily, placing the tray on the low table near Gilda. "Oh! Don't you look pretty today."
"Go ahead and relax," Levi tells her, and Gilda smiles at the younger girl.
"Thank you."
He joins her once the small scout has left, and Gilda resituates to the floor and lays a napkin over her lap before eating.
This is a new addition. He seems to enjoy her sitting at his feet at times. Sometimes he will call her to kneel by him while he does paperwork, pulling her head against his leg and now and then petting her absently. Gilda doesn't know whether that or when he has her stand doll-like is worse. Both are humiliating in a way, though she always feels far too exposed when standing, when anyone who enters can see her; when she sits at Levi's feet, it is such a humbling reminder of her place with him.
Gilda is brought from her musings by a hand stroking her nape through the veil of her curls. "Finished, sweetheart?" She nodded. "Good. I just had a little more paperwork, then we're done for the night." She hums and leans into his touch until it disappears, and he returns to his work.
He allows her to read for the last hour or so before they retire to the bedroom where Levi slowly strips her from the many layers he'd encased her in that morning. First is the emerald silk dress followed by the corset tightened around her. It's a relief when the laces slacken around her, releasing her waist. While Gilda is slightly more accustomed to wearing the damnable things now, they are still far from comfortable. When the layers are gone, her shoes removed, and all put where they belong until it's time to clean them, Levi guides her to the shower.
He's always particularly enraptured whenever he's dressed her up, so Gilda is nearly surprised when he does nothing but wash her with his usual diligence. They curl up in bed once both showered and dry.
"Read to me, will you?"
She smiles shyly, then plucks the book she's been reading to him from its place on the dresser, settling back in her spot beside him.
"Here, darling, open up." Gilda obediently parts her lips for Erwin to spoon some oats into her mouth. He added honey and berries to the bowl, more than Levi would ever allow. It's delicious, but far sweeter than she's used to now. "Such a good girl." He kisses her throat.
Erwin has been even more affectionate since that night they spent together, though he keeps within bounds she's sure Levi considers appropriate, never again dipping into sexual aspects. He will lay kisses on her flesh, but they are never open-mouthed, and his hands will skim bare skin, but not drift under her skirt or over her covered bust.
It still sends shivers through her, but she would never betray Levi; unless the small man allowed it again, she is fine with what happened between her and Erwin being a one-time thing.
Levi spent most of the last few days on a mission, coming back for a few hours of rest each night and that was about it, so when he returns a little after noon she's surprised. She slips from Erwin's lap and approaches him almost shyly.
"I'm done for the day," he assures her. "I'll see you in the morning, Erwin." The commander bids the pair goodbye and Levi guides her back to their bedroom.
His hands make quick work of her clothes, reminding Gilda that he's used to surviving off very little sleep. Had she been going on as little rest, she would not have the energy for this. Levi guides her to lie back on the bed, his hips between her thighs and his lips trailing from her jaw and down her body, love bites littering his path.
"Beautiful," he breathes, running his cheek against the inside of one thigh. The sandpaper of his cheek tickles and Gilda fidgets. Levi replaces his touch with a mild slap. "Hold still. I'm trying to prepare you." Gilda whines but does her best. "That's my girl." One finger dips into her and he strokes until she's wet enough for another, and another. He gets her to pant before finally undressing himself and climbing back over to enter her.
Sounds part both of their mouths as they're joined, then Levi's lips fall to hers, and they kiss passionately.
"My sweet girl," Levi murmurs when they part. "You feel so good." His hips pound bruisingly against her, but she's too high on the pleasure between them to care. Gilda twines her fingers around his neck and pulls his mouth back to hers, groaning when his tongue slides against her own.
When his hand darts between them, she tears her lips away and cries out. It takes only a few more thrusts for her to come apart.
"Shit." Levi grits his teeth, trying to ride out her pleasure before reaching his own, then his pace stutters and he empties inside her, arms curling behind her back to bring her body against his own.
The two of them curl up on the bed together and Gilda nuzzles into his chest, slowly drifting away. She stirs only when Levi wipes her clean, but he strokes her cheek and murmurs for her to go back to sleep.
The days feel as though they're weighing on Levi, each heavier than the last as they try to figure out what's going on with these damned titans, whether there are more shifters, how best to use Eren. They're fairly certain the two titans who had attacked at the fall of Wall Maria and again during the battle of Trost are shifters as well; they had acted with too much forethought to be otherwise, and they were both far from the abnormals scouts would sometimes encounter and nothing like the mindless, thundering idiots of the usual enemies.
He hasn't told Gilda any of this. In fact, he's kept much of what they're learning away from his sweet girl. As far as she knows, Annie Leonhart was acting alone, and they don't suspect anything else.
Mostly, he doesn't want her to worry.
Losing the majority of his squad to that bitch was one of the most painful experiences of his life, shadowed only by the deaths of Isabel and Furlan, and his mother.
"You know, you might be cute if you let me put you in a dress some time." he told the girl, tugging on one of her pigtails as she passed.
Isabel scrunched her nose and swatted at him. "Dresses are dumb. How could I get us any food if I wore one of those?"
Across the makeshift table, Furlan's eyes twinkled. "Well, you could always go to the street corner and—"
"Oi." Levi didn't want to hear that. He'd been mostly joking with the brat, though something in him thought the girl who was nearly a sister would be adorable if she was all cleaned up and in more proper attire. He'd never force her into that, though. And he certainly didn't want her selling herself to the same kinds of creeps who would hire his mother.
It was just something he'd thought about, was all. Clothing was transformative, and girls in long skirts and ribbons brought out the best in them. He'd like to wear finer clothes himself, or cleaner clothes at least.
"Sorry, Levi." Furlan grinned but didn't look the least bit ashamed. Isabel shrugged and went about her business.
He leaned closer to his friend. "I'd rather she doesn't get ideas like that in her head. If she realized how much more she'd get that way, how long do you think it'd take for her to go out there and try?"
Furlan's eyes widened as color drained from his face. He nodded.
The idea was never brought up again.
Today she is reading while sitting in her chair by the window. It's a lovely day, the late afternoon sun warm through the panes.
That is, it's a lovely day until Levi bursts through the door. He crosses the room and hauls her to her feet before she can process that he's entered. "Pack a bag. You're going to see your brother."
Despite the order he's the one to start throwing clothes on the bed, Gilda frowning as he works.
"Levi, what's going on?"
He mutters under his breath, tapping his fingers as though using them to count, then starts putting everything in her duffel bag. "You have enough leave to stay until I come get you, so it should be fine. Is there space for you where your brother lives?"
"Levi—"
"Get your things from the head," he orders. When she doesn't move, he shouts, "Go!" And she's spurred into action.
It takes all of two minutes to do that, then she's back beside her keeper. "Please tell me what's happening."
Tendons in his jaw show as he grits his teeth, then sighs. "Titans have been spotted inside Wall Rose. I want you in the inner sanctum before things get too hectic. Change. Quickly, come on."
Trousers replace her skirt, then he guides her down to the stables and helps her ready a horse. "Here." A purse is pressed into her hands, then he kisses her, swift but sweet. "You have enough in there if you need to find a place to stay. I'll come get you as soon as it's safe."
Levi cups her cheek, then aids her up into the saddle. "Please take care of yourself, Levi."
"I will, sweetheart," he promises. "Now go."
It has been about a year since she last saw her brother, and now she's too worried to be excited. She loves Gil, but the thought of Levi and the scant few other scouts out there battling the two terrifying beings that had taken down Wall Maria, along with lords know how many other Titans, is terrifying.
She rides straight through to Mr. von Auren's home. In the years since she'd joined, the man had gone from teaching primary school in Wall Rose to teaching history at the university. That's apparently his passion, and it's due to his bragging about his ward that the dean of the university is looking at admitting the fourteen-year-old.
It's late, the horse's shoes clacking against cobbled streets lit only by the occasional lamp. Gilda slides from the mare's back when she can finally see the door, ordering the well-trained beast to stay when she goes to knock.
"Now who— Gilda!" A slim man hardly taller than Levi answers, bushy auburn brows rising in surprise. "Come in, please."
"I, um, actually need to stable my horse. Do you have space for her?" She gestures to the sweet mare pawing at the grass.
Aiden von Auren nods. "Of course, of course. It's just around back. Do you need help?"
"I'll manage. Thank you."
She takes care not to rush caring for the animal after the hard work she put in, brushing out the chestnut coat and giving her a generous helping of oats besides, then slings her bag across her back and enters through the back door of the house, where Gil has been peeking at her intermittently.
"Gil!" He wraps his arms around her and lifts her from the floor, duffel and all.
She slaps at the boy. "Put me down, you heathen." When her feet touch the ground again, she tuts. "Just how much taller are you going to grow? I swear you were hardly bigger than I was last I saw you."
"Hopefully soon," von Auren mutters from behind her as he removes a kettle from heating. "Tea?"
"Please." She turns back to the boy. "Are you eating Mr. von Auren out of house and home?"
"He's trying," the man quips. "He's lucky you've been able to send more."
Gilda gratefully takes a mug from the teacher. "You can thank Levi for that. He got rid of the debt, so I don't have to worry anymore."
Gil takes a seat at a small table and stares up at her. He looks both completely different and exactly the same, all gangly limbs and toothy smiles. "What's going on with that, anyway? You said you were working for him now, but it doesn't sound like you go on expeditions anymore."
"I don't," she says, sliding in across from him. "Levi has me confined to duties at our headquarters only. He doesn't want me doing anything risky."
"Isn't that counterintuitive, considering you're a scout?" asks von Auren as he takes his own seat.
"Levi is protective," She hopes her blush isn't too obvious.
"Are you gonna marry him?" It's only a matter of timing that she doesn't choke on tea.
"Gil!" She can't believe he asked that.
Gil rolls his eyes. "It's a fair question. I mean, he obviously likes you."
"Why do you think that?" Gilda wonders when her brother got so observant when it comes to other people.
"C'mon, Gil. He got rid of our debt, got you transferred to his squad, and is protective." He waggles his brows suggestively. "If he's not a creep, you should say yes."
"Gilbert, stop making your sister uncomfortable. Why don't you take her bag up, hm?"
"Yes, sir." The boy stands and sighs as though greatly put upon but slings his sister's bag over one arm and trudges up the stairs opposite the kitchen.
Von Auren watches until Gilbert is out of sight, then leans over the table toward the girl. "Are you sure you're alright, Gilda? There's nothing… inappropriate going on, is there?"
"Oh." She blinks in surprise, then frowns as she contemplates his words. "What do you mean?"
"With the recent changes to your position, one can't help but worry." von Auren smooths his hands over the polished table surface. "From what I hear, the Survey Corps is not a place to protect its soldiers from their duties, and Levi is not a soft man. Yes, he keeps you from the front lines."
"What exactly are you asking, Mr. von Auren?"
"Aiden, please," he murmurs. "Even when you were a child you were more invested than the majority of pupils' guardians. I think you can address me as an equal now."
"Aiden, then," she agrees.
"Are you involved with your captain?"
Gilda places her teacup back onto its saucer, staring down at the ripples this creates. "I— why would you ask me that?"
"I worry about you. I know you might think Gilbert is the only one you have, but that's not true. I care about you, too. I've known you since you were a small girl, and I have seen you deal with so much." He reaches out to place a dry hand over her own and she has to suppress the urge to flinch away, now instinctual given Levi's possessive nature. But this is an innocent, comforting touch meant to inspire trust. "I will not tell your brother, but please give me the truth. That way, should anything happen, at least someone knows."
Gilda can't imagine what could make knowing this particular truth important, but she knows he will keep his word. After all, he has in the past.
"You don't understand. They aren't asking that I increase my payments. It isn't a request." She wiped nervous hands against her skirt. "It was a threat. Either I pay, or—" Gilda bit off her words with a grimace.
The man leaned forward behind his desk, steepling hands that had started showing signs of arthritis. "What did they say they would do if you're unable to pay?"
"I just have to. I can't leave Gil. I can't."
"Please calm down, Miss Miller. I can't help if you don't explain." He stood and walked around the chipped wooden surface to place a hand on her shoulder. "If they're threatening you, your brother might also be in danger."
She shook her head. "No, I don't think they'd do that to him. He's too young, and—"
"Ah." His eyes showed understanding.
Her cheeks heated and she nodded. "He suggested I go and do such work on my own, but I don't think I could. I'm not— I've never even thought about things like that."
"You, yourself, are young. I don't know how any man could think—" He looked away in distaste. "Unfortunately, I don't know anyone that would hire you and pay well enough that you could afford to feed yourself, your brother, pay these ruffians, and send Gilbert to secondary school. It's a shame, since he's such a bright boy, but a girl your age shouldn't even think about selling herself."
"No, there must be a way. I'm sure I can cut back somewhere. Maybe I can find a second job."
"Gilda." His concerned tone drew her gaze back to him. "Have you been feeding yourself? You will blow away with the wind if you get any thinner."
"Food is expensive," she admitted. "But I'm eating enough."
Von Auren scrubbed a hand over his face. "Listen, if you're going to work yourself to death, you should get benefits from it."
"What do you mean?"
"Have you considered enlisting?"
The question gave her pause. No, she had not. She never would have, given her slight form and placid demeanor. It must have shown on her face.
"Training is long, but you'll have a place to sleep, food, and pay. You can send money to Gilbert and pay off your debts. And if you die." He cleared his voice and tried again. "If you die, Gilbert will receive a payout."
Gilda nodded solemnly. "Yes. Yes, I'll think about it."
"I'll help however I can," he promised.
"Just, don't tell Gil."
When Gilda falls asleep that night it is to the soft, familiar snores of her younger brother. And when she wakes the next morning, it is to that same brother shaking her shoulder.
"Oh, come on, Gil," she grumbles. "I never get to sleep in."
He grins down at her. "Aiden made breakfast. You don't want it to get cold, do you?"
"Ugh, you are a menace." But she sits up and fishes out a dress Levi packed her for. She will have to clean her trousers for the ride home, since everything else is a skirt or dress. The pair she wore here are the only ones she owns now. Perhaps she can convince Levi to supply her with more when she returns.
"Why are you dressed all fancy?" Gil asks as she slides into one of the two free seats. There's bread, eggs, and sliced apples available in the center of the table, and she gratefully sips the black tea steaming in front of her.
"I'm not. I'm just wearing a dress.
His brows furrow. "Yeah, a fancy one."
"It's not fancy." She rolls her eyes. "If you want to see fancy, you should see the ones Levi has me wear when—"
Gilda almost visibly clicks her mouth shut as she realizes what she's saying. Unfortunately, it's too late. Gil is staring at her with those beloved eyes gone wide.
"Dress uniform, you know," she mutters, cheeks hot.
Her brother nods. "Okay. Right."
"So, what is the plan today?" She redirects toward a safer topic of conversation. "What about school?"
"It's the weekend. I have an essay and some readings, but I usually work on that stuff after supper unless there's a pressing need to study." He spoons some egg into his mouth and chews before speaking again, which is something he never did before moving in with his former schoolteacher. "I was thinking maybe we could go to the market together. I usually do that on Saturday mornings, and it would be nice to have your company for it."
Gilda nods. "That does sound nice," she agrees.
He smiles toothily. "Good. I'll get to introduce you to some people, too. I have friends now, not just Greg anymore."
"Well, that is something." She waits for him to get a list from Aiden when they finish breakfast, grabs two baskets, and they set out.
It's pretty here inside Wall Sina, even this less affluent area. With his salary, von Auren manages to be middle class, which nets him a nice enough home in the innermost wall, but not in the ritzy part. Still, the streets are cobbled and there are lamps lit at night, and a marketplace is only a block or so away.
"Hello, Ernst." Gil greets a slightly portly man with a corner booth. He's setting out crates of vegetables, a horse hitched to a cart beside his stall.
"Ah, young Gilbert. And who is this lovely young lady with you?
Gil rises to his full height and slings an arm around her. "This is my older sister, Gilda. She's on leave from the scouts. Gil, this is Ernst. He manages the largest farm in Wall Rose. Most of his workers are folks displaced from Wall Maria."
"Well, well." Ernst shakes her hand warmly. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I wouldn't think such a lovely little thing like you would be a scout."
She blushes. "I mostly do clerical work these days, but you'd be surprised. My captain isn't much taller than I am." And Krista is even smaller, she mentally adds.
Gil sorts through the crates already out, setting a bushel of radishes and some okra on the counter. "What else is good?"
"Ah, let's see now. There's the carrots, did you see those?" Ernst scratches at his scalp through thinning hair, frowning as he looks over his goods. "Y'know, hold on. I guess I haven't put those out yet." He holds up a hand and goes toward the old cart to haul out another crate filled with thin purple root vegetables, setting them atop the counter. "Here we are. What do you think?"
"Those look pretty good," Gil responds, glancing at them before patting himself to bring out his little leather satchel of money.
Gilda holds up a hand. "I've got it." She sets the payment on the counter before he can protest, and Ernst bags up their goods to put in a basket.
They get some fresh bread, inspect chickens and cuts of meat.
"So… did Levi give you all of that?"
"What do you mean?" she asks, pretending to be interested in some embroidered kerchiefs.
Gil grins at her. "I'm not an idiot, Gil. You are obviously more than his clerk. You can tell me. I won't get upset. He's not, like, taking advantage of you, is he?"
"No." She answers too quickly but tries to cover it up before he notices. "No, of course not. Levi is a little rough around the edges, but he's not…" She shakes her head. "He takes care of me."
"Uhhuh. How does he do that?" When she wrinkles her nose, he laughs. "I don't mean like that. I mean, like, well. He's the reason you're dressing better, right?"
"He is," she concedes. "Levi is oddly fashion conscious. He wears an ascot."
Gil laughs. "He does? Wow, that's weird. The Captain Levi wearing an ascot."
"The Captain Levi? You know about him?"
"Of course, I do. I started trying to learn about him when you said you were transferred." He has his hands in his pockets, basket dangling from the crook of one elbow. "He's the strongest man alive or something like that. I was curious. So, tell me about him."
She considers the man who has taken custody of her. "He's big on cleanliness. Every morning he dusts, sweeps, and so on. He's short." Gilda gestures with one hand. "About this tall. And he likes to make poop jokes."
"That's— seriously?" He laughs, running a hand through his hair. "What else?"
"He's even stronger than you think. And he cares about his people. Loyal nearly to a fault."
"Is he nice to you?"
"He can be." She shrugs. "He wants me to be happy with him. Oh, he loves tea, by the way. Loves it. He rarely has alcohol, but he'll drink enough tea to sail a boat across. And he likes it when I read to him."
He nods. "You have a soothing voice. I always enjoyed it."
She wraps an arm through his and lays her cheek against his shoulder. "I missed you."
"I missed you, too. I'm glad you could visit."
"Me, too."
"You're different," he says after a long silence. "Besides the dress and the job and everything."
Gilda watches his face as he turns them down a new street. "How do you mean?"
"I mean," he starts, then sighs as if trying to figure out how to phrase it. "I mean that you're quiet, and less, uh, less like a mom."
"I have never been anything like a mom," she protests.
Gil laughs, a sound deeper than what she remembers, but familiar in how it warms her heart. "You were definitely like one of those moms who lectures her children while shaking a dough roller at them, always telling me to wash behind my ears and mind my manners. Now it's more like you're a shy housewife or something."
She elbows his side. "I am nothing of the sort, you brat."
"Is that Levi's doing? Does that mean you're gonna get married?"
She puts strength behind elbow this time.
"Ow! What was that for?" he grumbles.
"You're ridiculous, Gilbert Miller."
Three days. Three full days she stays with her brother before Levi finally comes. In that time, she hears about the battle that kills nearly every single scout, and she's on tenterhooks terrified that he's one of them.
Except that someone would have told her, right? She would have found out. Besides, Levi is known as the strongest for a reason. He's not an easy man to take down.
Still, when Gil opens the door to the short man standing there, the shadows under his eyes deepened to purple bruises, she jumps up from the table and sprints to him. "Levi!"
"Oi, you don't need to scream. I'm right here." He wraps his arms around her, stroking the back of her head and sniffing her hair. "Are you ready to go?"
"Right now?" Gil says from behind them. "Stay for dinner. I haven't even gotten to meet your boyfriend yet."
She groans at her brother's antics but turns questioningly to Levi.
"Next time, brat," he promises the boy. "Unfortunately, I can't be gone for long."
Gilda excuses herself to go upstairs and pack, leaving the scout captain with her brother and his guardian. She's sure it's awkward down there, von Auren and Levi quiet while Gil either questions the latter or prattles on about whatever he thinks will be most annoying. It makes her smile.
"There was one Gregor told me about a girl who turned into a cat and—" Gil stops in the middle of his recitation when she comes into view again. "There she is. I was just telling Levi about all the stories Greg, and I made up to pass the time when we lived back in Wall Rose."
Annoying it is. She ruffles her brother's hair and chuckles. "So I hear. I'm all packed now, Levi."
The captain polishes off his tea and stands. "It was good to meet you, Gilbert, professor."
Levi takes her bag from her and follows to the small stable to ready the horse. He'd come by cart, so he pulls her up behind him to make the ride together, the pair of them combined still slight enough for the mare to bear.
"What happened?" she finally asks, her cheek against his shoulder and her voice soft with the weight of the question. His back stiffens beneath her.
He lays a hand over the one holding herself against him and he squeezes gently before threading his fingers through her own. "We'll talk about it later."
"We have time now."
"I said, later." His firm tone tells her she may regret it if she pushes. She wants to complain, to argue that it's better for her to be prepared, but nothing good ever comes from defying Levi.
Would she have defied him before joining the scouts? She doesn't think so, but Gil says she's changed. Sure, she's quieter now. There's no reason to speak as much. Levi is a relatively stoic man, and she's content with her own thoughts.
Eventually she drifts off against him, waking only when he stops to give them and the horse a break for a light meal.
They reach scout headquarters rather late, though even a day spent in the saddle doesn't slow down Levi's steps as he takes her up to his quarters. He guides her toward the shower, and she waits for him to start undressing her, but he just holds her a moment, hands on her waist. He unbraids her hair, then pulls her against him and combs his fingers through her hair. They stand like that for long minutes, and she wonders why, but doesn't dare move.
Finally, he takes a deep breath and spins her around, lightly pushing toward the shower itself. He adjusts the water until it's warm enough to steam, something Levi rarely bothers with, and joins her under the torrent. Soon, her skin is slick with soap and water. He spreads soap over her, suds dripping down her shoulders, her sides, her stomach, all while nuzzling his cheek against hers. It's only because of that she notices he is crying.
"Levi, what—" Gilda turns in his arms, cupping his cheek. His eyes are closed and his grip on her tightens painfully, but she doesn't complain.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He buries his face against her, shaking with tears.
She has never seen him so distraught, not even after the first battle against Annie, and all the resulting losses. Whatever happened has affected him more deeply than she thought possible.
Gilda wraps her arms around him and rubs soothing circles across the strong breadth of his back. Eventually he must run out of tears, because he finishes cleaning them up and they soon find themselves in the bedroom.
There his sorrow seems to retreat, replaced by another grief response. Pinning her wrists against the bed, he settles over her and plants hot kisses on her throat. His teeth dig in when she responds with shocked struggle, and she falls still.
"I need you." He pulls back to stare down at her, wet hair hanging between them. Gilda nods. "That's my girl."
A hiss rushes through her teeth when he pushes in, stretching her mercilessly. No matter how many times he's inside her, she never seems to get used to it.
Levi's lips are tender now as he presses them against her own in apology. The pace starts slow but builds until he's forcefully thrusting into her. By then, it has started to feel good, and she's rocking her hips to meet him.
"That's it," he murmurs, hands slipping from her wrists and around her waist until he's holding her on his lap. It's a new position for them and hits different places inside, somehow also more intimate than when he's on top. It isn't long before both of them are falling apart, Levi's fingers bruising her hips when pounds up into her, filling her with his seed.
She slumps against him as she comes down with head against his shoulder and pants. It won't be comfortable for long, given their sweaty skin and the fluid leaking between them, but for the moment it's nice just to be held.
"Most of the scouts are gone." His low voice rumbles against her chest, more feeling than sound. "There's about nine of us left. But that's not why I'm like this. It's— it's the loss of one man." The words are so bitter, like shards of glass on his tongue.
Gilda sits up and studies Levi's face as he speaks. She suspects, but doesn't want to let herself speak the words, nor allow her mind to think them. There's only one person he can be speaking of, and even the idea makes her chest ache and her throat tighten.
"It's my fault."
Her heart shatters; she lays his head against her chest when the tears start to fall again. It's too much for her to bear; Erwin was his closest friend, perhaps the only person he'd truly counted on.
"It's not," she murmurs against his hair. Whatever happened, she's certain of that. There is no way he's the reason why their friend is gone.
He's soft inside her, and she doesn't doubt that normally he'd be carrying her to the shower. Instead, he clings to her.
A strangled sound works its way from his mouth. "I could have— I could have—" Whatever Levi thinks he could have done to prevent Erwin's death never makes its way out of him. He collapses into her, allowing her to lay them both down. When Gilda tries to fetch something to wipe away the mess between their legs, his fingertips dig into her hard enough she feels the scratch of his nails.
"Don't leave me," the broken man pleads as he paints bruises on her flesh in desperation.
"Sh." Gilda settles again, stroking his cheek. "I'm here. I'm staying right here."
Only when Levi has fallen asleep does she permit herself to cry. She never even got to say goodbye.
There are a lot of moving parts in the aftermath of the battle that left the scouts decimated. Hange is in charge, though the scientifically minded officer has taken Armin under their wing. Apparently, the boy is now a Titan shifter; he was almost dead when Levi injected him with the serum that made him into a Titan, and then he ate Bertholdt. The tall teenager had been the Colossal the whole time, and Reiner was the other, the Armored Titan.
They'd known about it for some time, but that was another thing Levi kept from her until now.
There is a bitterness on the back of her tongue whenever she thinks about them and about how much horror they'd single-handedly wrought on the world she knows.
Levi has her coming to meetings with him more often now, as though afraid she will disappear when his eyes aren't on her, and that's how she learns everything he hadn't divulged.
"How big is the world?" she asks the new commander. If anyone knows, it's Hange.
Hange rubs the edge of their eyepatch. "We can't be sure yet, but I'm eager to find out."
They've been locked within these walls for more than a century, trapped in a peace none of them agreed to. That's the bitterest pill, though there is some good in all of this, too.
They're in a tent only a short distance from the sea, that great lake of salty water that spans a good portion of their world. She hadn't believed Levi when he told her, so he brought her with him on this particular voyage to the shore.
It is vast and beautiful. Armin takes a particular joy in it, waking early to watch the sunrise paint it in pastel glory, rolling up his pant legs to bathe his ankles as he walks along the waves. Seafoam tickles his skin, and he flights in the tacky residue saltwater leaves behind.
"I'm sure we'll learn more soon," Hange says, favoring her with a smile.
The scouts have a plan for the next time Marley sends a ship to their little island, one Levi insists she will not be a part of. She knows better than to argue. She's lucky enough he allowed her to come to the sea; there's no way he will allow the Marleyans a chance to harm her.
"It's vast." Eren leans back in his seat, answering Gilda's question as he stares up at the tent roof. "There are multiple continents, all of them many times larger than Paradis— our island."
That's right, he has some memories from his father, a remnant from inheriting his titan. She never met Dr. Jaeger, but those who have say the man was good, kind. He apparently lived in Marley before he became a Titan, the very one Eren has now. He'd had a wife and a child, the latter of whom had killed Erwin while taking the guise of a bestial, hairy Titan. It must have pained the teenage boy to learn all this; it pained her.
She's heard the whispers, furtive and afraid as they talk about how the beast had thrown boulders like balls, hurling them into people in a macabre imitation of a game. To think of that happening to people she knows, to Erwin, chills her to her marrow.
And this is Eren's brother, a man named Zeke.
Levi was supposed to kill him in that battle and his failure haunts him. He itches to rectify it. Gilda wonders how Eren feels about this long-lost brother, but she isn't close enough to the boy to ask.
"What's it like?" She leans toward him, chin cupped in the hand propped up via elbow on her thigh. Gilda longs to learn more about the world beyond their shores, even more than when they were confined to the Walls.
He shrugs. "Different. The same. I don't know."
The meeting was already drawing to a close when she'd spoken to Hange and now some of the members are leaving them. Levi stands beside her, and she takes his silent cue. As she grasps his hand, Mikasa lays her head on Eren's shoulder.
They walk from the large HQ tent toward their own, but Gilda halts to stare out at the glittering water. "I want to bring Gil out to see this some time," she murmurs. "He'd be amazed."
Levi wraps his arms around her waist and gazes out with her. "We can do that."
"Really?" Her cheek scrapes against his stubble as she turns a smile on him.
"Yes. Once we have everything locked down, sure." His words are a solemn promise, low and fond. "Do you want to watch for a while?" When she nods, he guides her to a log felled and rolled out by the soldiers so they can settle by the waves whenever the mood strikes.
It reminds her of the sound of her pulse in her ears, the way waves roar when they crash over themselves, or Levi's heart when she presses her head to his chest, and it's soothing enough that her head dips against his shoulder, eyes leaden in the late afternoon light.
"Hey, don't fall asleep on me."
"Hm?" Gilda lifts her cheek. "I'm not."
He settles her head back in place, fingers rubbing gently at her scalp. "Sure. Do you know how to swim?"
"No. Do you?"
"No." He huffs a laugh. "We should learn. We could try swimming in this someday. Would you like that?"
The idea of being surrounded by all that water makes her dizzy, but there's also something comforting to the idea. "I would."
"I think Arlert knows. He probably learned just in case he ever found the sea." He's the kind of person who would, Gilda thinks. Armin is so hopeful compared to many of them, though his light has diminished since the battle. She hums and plants a kiss on Levi's neck.
As it turns out, Armin Arlert does know how to swim, though he laughs when they express an interest in swimming in the ocean. "It has currents, so it's not the best place to start. There's a lake not too far, though. We can start there. You'll need something to swim in. Tight fitting is good, nothing that will soak up too much water."
Levi has it easy, but they struggle to find something that works for Gilda, finally settling on a pair of sleep shorts and a short-sleeved top. When she strips down to the little outfit, the small man watches a red-faced Armin looking off to the treeline.
"Okay, so first you need to get comfortable in the water," the blond starts once they've waded about waist high. "You should be able to float on the surface like so." He lays back, water trembling along the front of his body in time with his breaths. He gets up and pushes the wet hair back. "We can go one at a time if you like."
Levi and Gilda exchange glances, the silver eyed man nodding for her to take the first attempt. Armin holds her gently, arms almost cradling beneath her near-weightless body.
"I can hold you pretty effortlessly like this, so don't worry. You won't drown." He guides her through the process of relaxing, but it's difficult to just let herself drift, especially since she can't lie down like she would on a bed. There's a tension that she has to keep as well. It's a strange balance. Still, she gets it eventually and she can't help but feel there's a certain amount of peace in it.
Water tickles at the corners of her eyes and noise is muffled in her ears. It's a bit bright staring straight up at the sky, but when Armin's hands move away and she's still bobbing at the surface, she can't help but smile.
This happens to be the first thing Gilda has ever been better at than Levi, though she's pretty sure it's because the small man finds it almost impossible to get comfortable enough in the water, especially when he knows that he could sink like a stone and wind up drowning if he does it wrong (not that Armin would ever allow that to happen). It takes him numerous tries, whereas Gilda managed on her first.
"How about we practice strokes?" Armin suggests after a while, deciding that perhaps Levi needs a different approach. He shows the pair a few different ways to use their arms to cut through the water while they sit on the small dock with their feet dangling over the edges. They practice while he demonstrates them paired with the various kicks to use.
"How am I supposed to remember to do both at the same time?" she inquires, already getting confused as to which kick goes along with the breaststroke. And why does she need to put her face in the water for any of them? She was under the impression that swimming either took place above or below the water, not back and forth between breaths.
Armin shrugged. "Practice and figure out which swims work best for you. I'm sure one of them is bound to be more intuitive."
Levi looks skeptical.
They practice the kicks while holding onto the dock. Eventually Levi tires of this. "Can we start yet?"
"Well, it'd be better if we go back to working on your floating—"
"I thought the phrase was 'sink or swim,'" Levi cut in. "Not 'float or swim.'"
"But if you get tired too far out—"
Levi scoffs. "I'll be fine."
And, frustratingly enough, he is. It's a little awkward at first as he works out the rhythm of strokes and kicks, but within a few minutes he is able to swim in circles around Gilda, who has to flip onto her back to rest more quickly than she'd like. She struggles with stamina, something for which she secretly blames Levi and his insistence that she doesn't need any form of training. It's not fair that he's allowed to run, to fight, to climb, and all she can take is the occasional walk. Maybe he will take to swimming enough he'll let her do that more often.
The breaks seem to be enough that Gilda is able to figure out what works for herself and enjoy it. Swimming is nice, especially on hot afternoons.
"When can we try the ocean?" She's eager now that she's learned the basics, but Armin frowns.
"The ocean can be tough even for experienced swimmers. You'll want to build up some strength before you try."
Her eyes dart toward Levi, who seems contemplative. When she sighs, he wraps a towel around her shoulders and tugs her close to share his warmth. "We'll work on that together." The way she lights up pleases him.
They return to headquarters once they're no longer dripping, though it's short lived since Levi draws her into the shower to 'get rid of that disgusting lake water.' She can't necessarily blame him, since it was pretty discolored, at least when one compared it to drinking water.
After showering, it's time to eat. Gilda is surprised to find that she's ravenous. Her first true activity in ages seems to have awoken her appetite.
"Slow down. The food isn't going anywhere," Levi admonishes, hand on her thigh squeezing gently in concert with his words.
Her cheeks heat. "Yes, Levi." She makes herself count chews to slow her pace, though it feels so tedious, but it satisfies her caretaker. "I really enjoyed swimming," Gilda states after a while. "Thank you for that."
"Is that what has you so hungry?"
She nods.
"Good. You probably need it. You're still so tiny." Not that he's tried to make her gain weight; food scarcity was still an issue even if he had wanted to make that change, but she's pretty certain Levi doesn't mind her size one way or another. What matters most is that she's healthy.
Once fed, Gilda feels the sated contentment of post-exercise sleepiness kicking in. Levi observes the way her eyelids grow heavy and pulls her to her feet.
"Up you get, come on." She stifles a yawn and leans against him, eliciting a chuckle from the man. "Sleepy girl."
"Mhm."
Her thoughts drift as they trek from the mess hall to their bedroom, and somewhere along the way one strikes her enough to speak aloud. "Levi."
"Yes?"
"What if something happens to you?"
He glances at her, brows twinging. "What do you mean?"
"If you ever died, I'd be all alone," she says.
"You have your brother."
Gilda shakes her head. "But you're the one who takes care of me."
He hums, opening their bedroom door to guide her inside. "You'll be fine. You're technically my inheritor now, so you'll have enough to hire help while you figure out what you want to do." He drops to one knee, sliding off her slippers to begin the undressing process.
"What? Why would you do that?"
"You're mine." He says this as if it explains everything. When she continues to stare blankly, he says, "When I took you from your old squad, it became my responsibility to make sure you are taken care of. I'd be remiss in my duties if that didn't include any possible future, wouldn't I?"
She's down to under garments now, and glad when Levi opts to tug a short silken nightgown over her instead of removing those, too. Gilda is too tired for more tonight, though Levi's typically the one who does all the work, too much of a control freak for anything else.
"Oh."
"Does that satisfy you?" He cups her cheek and turns her face up toward his.
"I'd rather you just never die," she replies, "but I'm glad you made plans regardless."
He clicks his tongue in an effort to distract from the faint pink dusting his cheeks. "Happy to have your approval."
"You should be; it's not a very easy task."
"Go brush your teeth before I decide to do something about that attitude." Levi's tone lacks any bite, but she gets to her feet to obey anyway.
When she returns, he bids her get under the covers and wait for him, then takes his turn in the head. She drifts off before he returns.
There are strangers coming into the headquarters building. One is a tall blonde that reminds her of Nanaba. Yelena, apparently a follower of Zeke Jaeger, has come to discuss terms with Eren and the others.
"Who is she?" the woman asks upon spotting Gilda sitting demurely in the chair beside Levi's.
Hange likes having her at the meeting table, has even turned to her for opinions on matters, which is strange to someone currently little more than a comfort toy to the world's— at least, Eldia's— strongest man.
Eldia.
Paradis.
These words are now framed in the context of a large world the scope of which is terrifying to consider. Before, she hadn't known their little kingdom existed on an island, let alone thought it needed a name of its own.
"She's mine," is Levi's response to Yelena and the two exchange a long, tense look between them. Whatever Yelena thinks of it, she decides not to comment any further.
After more in depth introductions with everyone else around the table, Yelena lays out Zeke's terms.
They are… concerning.
The worst of them is the demand that Historia, the sweet young girl she'd met as Krista, is to become a broodmare for children of the royal lineage.
Outrage on the girl's behalf burns through Gilda. It's enough that Erwin and Dot Pyxis initially installed her as a puppet regent; she's a human being, a trained scout capable of more than popping out children for sacrifice.
It prickles beneath her skin, sticks in the back of her mind, and she doesn't understand why it's so upsetting. Yes, it's wrong, but if it helps their people in this fight against the world that hates them, isn't it worth it?
Isn't it for the greater good?
It's just like her and Levi—
Oh.
She shies away from that idea because it's too real, too raw. It is the cut that always bleeds, just a drop at a time, never enough to need stitching.
Gilda pushes it back, forcing herself to stillness at the meetings where they discuss Historia's future/ and the alliance with Zeke's people.
"You look tense," Jean mutters as he slips into the seat across from her. Levi has an equipment test for upgrades to ODM gear and sent her to the mess to eat.
She shrugs and stirs the seafood chowder listlessly. "Just thinking."
He rubs the scruff along his jaw, a young man's first attempt at growing facial hair, and hums. "What about? I thought the captain made you keep your head empty?"
"Excuse me?" Her eyes narrow and her voice cools. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"Just that I thought you were supposed be his pet or something." He ran a hand through his shaggy brown hair, trying to distract from the pink stain across his cheeks.
"I'm not."
"Okay." They eat in silence for a moment, then Jean asks, his volume low and his eyes darting around to check if anyone was paying attention, "What are you? You and the captain, I mean."
Gilda stares at him as her mind grinds to a halt. She swallows through the rusted gears of her throat and tries to think beyond the wall impeding her thoughts. "We—" She doesn't know how to answer this. "We are…" The words won't come. "I'm his."
"His pet," Jean reiterates. His hazel brown eyes sharpen at her stuttering inability to articulate meaning. "You're his, so you're not your own person."
"I am my own person." The defense flies from her mouth like a dart, but he waves it away.
"He tells you what to do, doesn't he?" Jean leans closer. "He tells you what to wear and where to go, who you can talk to. Who you can touch." The last is said with a pointedness that reminds her of her first punishment with Levi.
It had been terrifying at the time, though it was nothing to what came later.
"Are you trying to make a point, Jean?"
He studies the set of her face, the way her brows furrow and her cheeks blaze. "Why do you let him do it?"
Again, she's left unable to formulate an immediate response. What finally comes out is, "He loves me."
He shrugs. "People love their pets, too."
"It's not like that," she insists.
"Isn't it? You follow at his heel like a puppy."
Gilda rolls her eyes, something almost foreign to her now; she'd never do that around Levi. "And what am I supposed to do?"
"You could fight him on it, demand he treat you like your own person, but you don't."
"How could I possibly— He's Captain Levi," she stresses, incredulity adding a waiver to her words.
Jean shakes his head and laughs. "He's head over heels for you; I think you could do anything, and he'd let you get away with it."
"He'd punish me."
"If you put your foot down, he'll listen." Jean sounds so sure; he believes what he's saying. She doesn't.
Gilda shakes her head and stares down at her half empty bowl. "I could never do that."
Jean reaches across the table to take her hand. Gilda starts to snatch it back, but his grip tightens. "You can. If you want." His hand disappears from the table. "I'll see you later."
Gilda gazes down at her hand where he'd left it; it's the first time someone other than Levi has touched her since Armin's swim lesson. And before that…
That night, she decides to try something.
As they're lying in bed, Levi propped on his side while she cracks open the book they're reading, Gilda hesitates.
"What is it, sweetheart?" He studies how she stops before biting her lower lip, the way her brows barely twitch toward one another with her worry.
Gilda takes a breath to steady herself. "What are we?"
He sits up, turning to face her as one hand cups her cheek. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, if someone were to ask you to define our— this— what would you say?"
"That you're mine." It is those same words he told her on her first day with him, the first night, the first morning. It's what he told the Marleyans when they asked, and what Erwin called her.
"What does that mean?" she presses, her eyes brightening as she gazes into his own hazy blue.
"You're mine," he repeats.
Gilda leans away from his hand and runs her own through her loose curls. "Do you love me?" He's said it before, but she needs to hear it, needs his confirmation.
"You know I do." Levi grips her forearms and lowers them to her lap. "What's this all about?"
"Am—" she licks her dry lips and continues in a shrunken voice, "am I a pet?"
Confusion flits across his features. "What? No. Where is this coming from?"
"If I'm yours, and I'm not a pet or a toy or property, then what are you?"
The clouds part; Levi breathes deeply through his nose, leans forward, and pressed his forehead against her own. "I'm yours."
"Really?" Her eyes fill and his features blur.
His lips pique in a smile like a sunshine shower. "Of course. Since the moment I saw you, I was yours. Before you became mine, I was yours."
Her breath rattles in her chest, the tears overflow her eyes, and she flies forward to wrap her arms around him.
"I love you, Levi."
It's the first time she's ever returned the sentiment. In this moment, Levi floats above himself, above all the pain and the nightmares and horror common to his existence.
At this moment, everything is right.