Author: Meltha

Rating: G

Feedback: Yes, thank you.

Spoilers: Through Deathly Hallows

Distribution: The Blackberry Patch and . If you're interested, please let me know.

Summary: Pretend for a moment that in the world of Harry Potter, Father Christmas is real. Here are letters some of the wizarding world might write to the jolly old elf.

Disclaimer: All characters are owned by J. K. Rowling, a wonderful author whose characters I have borrowed for a completely profit-free flight of fancy. Kindly do not sue me, please, as I am terrified of you. Thank you.

Dearest darling Father Christmas,

I'm sure you know what a perfectly perfect boy I've been all year, you naughty, eavesdropping old love, you! For this season, my Christmas list is in direct proportion to my own heroic feats. Now, don't strain yourself, my friend. Feel free to drop off the first sleigh load on Christmas Eve and subsequent ones for the rest of the year. We mustn't disappoint the kiddies by having the whole sleigh filled with just my presents, now would we, deserving though I am.

At any rate, please find enclosed a copy of Madam Malkin's winter catalogue. The items I require are circled in violet ink (I find it so much more attractive than red, something that perhaps you should consider with regard to that appalling red robe of yours, not that we don't love you despite your hideous fashion blunders!). Pages 143 through 212 are unmarked as all the items on those pages would be appropriate gifts for moi!

In addition, I simply adore the twenty pound, gold wrapped, assorted bon-bon gift boxes from Honeyduke's this year. Two or three of these would not go awry. I'm also partial to those beautifully carved vanity mirrors from Paladin's Furniture Emporium, particularly the very large one with the twenty foot expanded mirror. I do believe it would enjoy looking at me all day, but then who wouldn't!

As a thank you gift for you, I've left my entire collection of my works for you, neatly gift wrapped and autographed into the bargain! Now isn't that better than a silly plate of biscuits and lukewarm cocoa?

Oh, and do be careful of pranksters! Last year, some dreadful creature followed behind you to my abode and swapped all your gifts for a lump of dirty, disgusting coal! Ta, darling, and don't forget to use my new line of hair care products on that drab beard of yours.

Fondly,

Gilderoy