Author: Meltha
Rating: G
Feedback: Yes, thank you.
Spoilers: Through Deathly Hallows
Distribution: The Blackberry Patch and . If you're interested, please let me know.
Summary: Pretend for a moment that in the world of Harry Potter, Father Christmas is real. Here are letters some of the wizarding world might write to the jolly old elf.
Disclaimer: All characters are owned by J. K. Rowling, a wonderful author whose characters I have borrowed for a completely profit-free flight of fancy. Kindly do not sue me, please, as I am terrified of you. Thank you.
Dear Father Christmas,
I don't often apologize, but I suppose it was slightly my fault that you tripped those booby traps last year. Still, it was rather stupid of you to try breaking into my home, even if it was via the chimney. There's a good deal of evidence to suggest Death Eaters are entirely capable of breaking through a good many defense charms through that mode of entry, an idea they've copied off the Greek Kallikantzaros. In other words, when they can't control the Floo Network, they try the actual flue. They don't take off the day for Christmas, you know. They aren't a very jolly lot on the whole. Regardless, I am sorry about the loss of your buttock. I do hope you're not too lopsided in the sleigh.
It would be best if you left any gifts for me on the porch, wrapped in plain brown paper, and, obviously, able to pass the battery of tests I'll put them through. I would rather enjoy a new boot, brown if you have it, and perhaps a nice book on some of the Muggle self-defense techniques like that caratay and tie quon dough. Death Eaters won't be expecting that!
Thanks, and keep a watch on the skies. Dark forces are always watching, and I've always had a few doubts about that Blitzen of yours. He seems a bit dodgy. May want to have him checked for the Imperius.
Sincerely,
Alastor Moody