Disclaimer: twilight is not mine… shoot.

Chapter 2

BPOV

I was buzzing from the irresponsible about of nicotine in my system when I finally heard the knock on my door, which only amplified my natural gracefulness as I raced to answer it. In a poor attempt to hurtle my sofa I jumped over the offensive obstacle in my way, caught my foot on the back of it and biffed it quite thoroughly face first on my faded Berber carpet.

Awesome.

Jasper knocked again as I gathered myself up from the floor, adjusted my t-shirt and patted my stomach, because somehow that would make me less pregnant. I don't know.

I opened the door to be greeted by the red-eyed grinning fool that was my brother. 'Excellent,' I thought, 'he's smoked to oblivion. Conversation will be limited.'

His smile faltered as he took in my appearance and pushed his way past me into my apartment, "What the hell happened to you? You look like shit."

I closed the door behind me, slightly on the forceful side, "Come on in Jazz, I'm glad you could make it on such short notice, compliments and all. Ya sure do know how make a girl feel good."

I could see Jasper through the doorway to my kitchen as he put the beer he brought with him in my fridge and grabbed the bag of Cheetos off my counter. "That I do little sister," he called from the other room, "Or at least I know how to make you feel good." I shook my head at his jumbled stoner lingo and I lowered myself onto the couch, tucking my feet underneath me.

"Is that a fact brother dear?" I reached for one of the outrageously priced throw pillows that adorned my living room, and tucked it against my abdomen, thinking briefly that it was bought as a housewarming gift from my baby's dad's parents. "So telling me that I look like shit is supposed to make me feel good about myself?"

"No," he said placing an all-telling bottle of non-alcoholic beer on the coffee table and plopping a seat next to me all the while taking a long pull from his beer. "I never said a damn thing about making you feel good emotionally. I was referring to the physical."

"Dude, you're fucking nasty!"

"What?!"

"Really?" I asked indignantly.

Defensively he replied, "Yes really. What the hell do you thing I was talking about?"

Confusion creeping into my voice, "What were you talking about?"

With a 'what the fuck' expression and a matter-of-fact tone he answered, "Uh, puffin' the magic dragon."

"Oh."

"Oh? I'm not letting you get away with 'oh'. What did you think I meant?"

I could feel the blush rise up my neck and settle on my cheeks as I embarrassingly stuttered "n-n-nothing."

He scrunched up his face, and scratched his unruly blonde mop, "You wouldn't blush like that if it was nothing." He paused allowing his baked out brain time to organize all the data it had been receiving. Slowly he put the pieces together, "Actually you only blush like that when you think about-"

Rushing out the words in a high pitched voice, "Can we just drop it?"

He turned to look at me, "Did you think I was propositioning you with… What the fuck B?"

In an all-time classic response I shrugged.

Jasper shook his head at me as he pulled his bowl and a dime bag out of his coat pocket, "You spend way too much fucking time with Emmett you know that?"

He packed the bowl with an expertise I've seen few people possess, "Sorry. I guess I've been programmed to take it there, my bad."

Lighting up, he inhaled deeply and responded holding in his breath, "I'm only going to say this once little sister. Never and I repeat never take it there with me again." He paused for his exhale, "Understand?"

I nodded in understanding as he passed me the bowl, but denied it with a wave of my hand. He looked at me skeptically, not that I blame him; first I turn down booze and then weed. I'd be skeptically too. In an effort to deflect his pending questions I asked, "I thought Alice said you quit?"

Irritated he asked, "Did she send out a fucking memo?"

"No," I said cautiously, "She just asked me not to smoke in front of you. Is there a particular reason that subject blows sand up your vagina?"

"No," he said with a huff, "It's just that Edward said the same damn thing earlier. It's like she hired a sky writer or some shit to announce to the entire peninsula that 'Jasper's layin' off the Herbs.'" He again took a hit from his bowl, "I swear her lack of faith in me is ridiculous."

I stifled a laugh, "I agree, totally unfounded."

"Exactly," he said on his exhale, leaning his head against the back of the couch.

We sat quietly as Jasper closed his eyes. It became quite apparent that if I didn't talk soon he'd pass out on me and then I'd have to tell him in the morning when he was sober, not fucking likely.

"So," I began trying to catch my brother's attention. "You talked to Edward eh?"

"Yeah," he responded, eyes still closed, "he stopped by earlier."

Oh shit, "Stopped by? You mean he's not in New York?"

"Nope," he said popping the 'p', "apparently he's decided to move back to Forks." Shit, shit, fuck, cunt, crap!

Jasper opened he left eye to stare me down, "Why do you ask?"

'Play it cool Swan,' "No reason," I said with a shrug, "It was just a name I hadn't thought about in a while."

"Uh huh."

Backtracking like a motherfucker I rushed out, "What? It's the truth. It's not like I know Edward that well. We were never friends or anything; I was just trying to make conversation." Reaching for the bag of cheesy goodness on my table I offered them to him, "Cheetos?"

Jasper sat up momentarily he took the bag from, then shifted to lay his head on the pillow in my lap, his legs hanging off the end of the couch. I stroked his hair out of habit as he shoved handfuls of junk food into his mouth. Alice was a lucky woman.

"He asked about you." Jasper's admission caused my body to freeze, my hand stilling in his hair. "Don't stop," he commanded with a mouth full of processed cheddar, little particles releasing in an orange puff. "I like that, it makes me happy." He began to move his head against my stationary hand to prove his point.

I chuckled at my brother's ridiculous behavior and resumed my ministrations, playing with the slight curl the ends of his hair took. Curiously I questioned him, "So what did he ask?"

"Nothing really," he said reaching into the bag, "Just how you were." He laughed to himself, "he had a shit hemorrhage when I told him you were dating someone."

In a possible hormonal overreaction, I may or may not have pushed him off of me and onto the floor hollering, "Why the fuck would you do that?"

He hit the ground like dead weight, then sat up abruptly and disturbingly alert, looking like a deer caught in the headlights momentarily before shaking it off and reaching back into the bag of Cheetos. "Relax B," he said shoving food into his mouth, "I told him that I was fucking with him, I just wanted to see his reaction."

"Oh," I said sinking into the couch, "and uh… you know… what was his reaction?"

Jasper pulled himself back onto the sofa and laid his head on my lap once again. He snapped his orange-tipped fingers and pointed at his head, indicating that he wasn't going to speak unless I scratched. This was why I didn't have dog.

Sighing at his blatant bribery I again ran my fingers through his hair. "So?"

"So," he shrugged tossing the now empty bag onto the floor and rolling over so I could get behind his ears, "it was pretty much just like yours."

"Hmm."

He opened his right eye, "Why is that B?"

With a shrug I quietly answered, "I-I don't know."

Jasper pushed himself up from my lap, propping his weight on his arms, "What did you call me about Bella?"

Nervously, I began to pull at the fringe-like threads that radiated from the pillow. It was the moment of truth and I was freaking the fuck out. Without looking up I grabbed the full bottle of O'Doul's and brought it to my lips and took a long pull, but spit it back into the bottle before I could swallow, blurting out with words, "I'm pregnant!"

"Come again?"

I smiled, "That's what she said."

"No, no, no" he started waving his hand, "I'm sorry I'm going to have to ask you to repeat that, because I just thought I heard my baby sister tell me that she's pregnant."

I sadly looked into his, and then exclaimed, "Surprise?" with jazz hands and a forced smile.

"Holy shit," he muttered reaching for his beer. He brought the longneck to his lips and chugged what was left in his bottle, set it on the table and stood up.

"Where are you going?" I asked queerly insecure.

"Need more beer." He grunted out.

"Grab two." I called out.

In a split second he was in my face, "You not fucking drinking!"

"I know," I answered wide eyed, "You need to double up. I'm going to be living vicariously through you for the next nine months."

He nodded in acceptance and slid into my kitchen, returning moments later, booze in hand.

Jasper took a sip from his Bass and rested the bottle on his knee, "I guess my first question is how far along are you?"

I scratched my left upper arm, "Um about six weeks."

He took another sip, longer this time, "Shit Bella, don't take this the wrong way, but do you know who the father is?"

I laughed, boy did I ever, because God hates me. "Yeah."

He cocked one eyebrow at me, "Care to share with the rest of the class?"

I rubbed my face forcefully, dreading the name that was about to exit my lips. "Edward Cullen."

Poor Jazz never saw it coming. He spit his beer out, choked and hyperventilated all at the same time. I think Bass may have even trickled out his nose. Still coughing he questioned in disbelief, "Edward?"

I nodded shamefully.

Wiping his face with the back of his hand, he collected himself, "Well," he started, "that was a highly unexpected. What does Alice think about it?"

I cringed, dying a little on the inside, "Alice doesn't know."

"ALICE DOESN'T KNOW?!"

I shook my head, and gripped the pillow on my lap tighter.

Muttering under his breath so that I couldn't hear, he reached for his cashed bowl and tapped the spent ash onto my coffee table.

"Hey," I yelped. He shot me a glare. "You know what, it's cool. I'll just clean that up later."

Repacking his little green companion he said, "We can fix this."

"Fix what?"

Taking a deep hit he said, "Me knowing before Alice. Just take it back."

"Take it back?"

"Yeah, I'll act like this night never happened and you'll call Alice first thing in the morning."

I shook my head vehemently while Jasper calmed his nerves with another inhale of his ganja. "I can't fucking tell Alice, are you kidding me? She'll tell Edward."

My brother began to cough violently. Springing into action I began to slap his back. "You haven't told Edward?"

"No I haven't told Edward," I snapped indignantly, "Up until thirty minutes ago I thought he was still in New York. What the fuck was I supposed to do call him up and say, "Hey Edward it's Bella, how's it going? Good? Well that's nice. So yeah, remember that night when we both got really shit faced and you fucked me senseless, and I snuck out of your back up apartment here in Forks before you woke up and I had my brother pick me up? You do? That's good. Well congrats you're going to be a dad!" Yeah that would go over really fucking great don't you think?"

"Well I don't fucking know B." Jasper jumped to his feet and was yelling, "Are you sure he's the father?"

Matching his tone, "Well he's the only guy I've slept with since James left."

"Don't get shitty with me Bella, it's not like I knew you were sleeping with my brother -in-law."

"I'm sorry, should I have taken out an ad in the Clipper stating, "Bella Swan fucked her bitch sister's sloppy seconds" I don't think so. If it's all the same to you, I'd rather the whole town not know that I let him stick it up in me after he rode the Rosacoaster."

Throwing his arms up in the air, "Okay, first of all, you should have thought about that before you fucked him and secondly could you be more crass?"

"Excuse me," I said with a slight head bob, because apparently I get ghetto when I get upset, wouldn't know it doesn't happen very often. "Here I thought I was having a crises and needed my older brother's support, but please don't let my life altering dilemma take away from the fact that my language upsets you."

Jasper crossed the room, taking in the small town scene that my window displayed, I guess he was letting himself cool down because when he came back to sit on the couch next to me he opened his arms for me to crawl in, and I did so greedily.

When his arms clamped around me tight, I began to sob into his chest. "Shhh baby girl," he cooed soothingly, "You're right I'm being an ass. We'll figure this out together." He placed a soft kiss on the top of my head.

I nodded, but continued to cry and thankfully he let me until I was all out of tears.

It was well past four in the morning by the time I had finally calmed down, but Jasper remained, rubbing my back and whispering words of kindness. "Hey," he said grabbing my chin to look at him, "How about we get you to bed?"

In the smallest voice I've ever heard leave my mouth I weakly asked, "Will you stay with me?"

"Of course," he said pushing me from his lap and rising up from the couch. He extended his hand, "Where else would I go?"

I smiled at my big brother, the best fucking big brother in the entire god damned world by the way, placed my hand in his and let him lead me to my bedroom. Together we crawled under the covers completely clothed and waited for sleep.

The room was dark as I began to nod off, "Bella?"

"Yeah Jazz?"

"You're going to have to tell Alice in the morning."

"I know, and I will, but first let me get some sleep okay?"

Jasper reached around me and pulled my head onto his chest so that he could kiss the top of my head again, "Sure thing baby girl. Get some sleep and everything will work out in the morning."