Author: Meltha
Rating: G
Feedback: Yes, thank you.
Spoilers: Through Deathly Hallows
Distribution: The Blackberry Patch and . If you're interested, please let me know.
Summary: Pretend for a moment that in the world of Harry Potter, Father Christmas is real. Here are letters some of the wizarding world might write to the jolly old elf.
Disclaimer: All characters are owned by J. K. Rowling, a wonderful author whose characters I have borrowed for a completely profit-free flight of fancy. Kindly do not sue me, please, as I am terrified of you. Thank you.
Dear Father Christmas,
The Hogwarts library requires the following items be returned by you on Christmas Eve:
The Care and Feeding of Flying Reindeer by Svetlana Laplander
1001 Christmas Cookie Recipes by Heloise Gastronomer
A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens (part of our rare Muggle literature collection)
A Brief History of the Chudley Cannons by Galvin Jodhopper
Circumnavigating Muggle Satellites: The Wizard's Guide to Avoid Hitting Those Shiny Things by Sean Carroger
Please note that the above books are severely overdue. In fact, Laplander's tome has been out since your student days in 1237, and the total late fee is 7326 Galleons and 5 Knuts, exactly. The above books should never have been vouchsafed to your highly questionable keeping while you still had one outstanding in the late queue, showing your total lack of responsibility, but then what does one expect of a former Gryffindor but book theft and mutilation. Return them forthwith or this notice will explode, leaving a quite sticky residue of Bubotuber pus and color changing ink on your hands.
By the way, I could do with a new brolly, preferably black with a thestral head handle.
Irma Pince
Head Librarian, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry