I apologize for the delay; I had a bout of pneumonia after the last business trip. I also upgraded my system to Windows 7 and it caused a headache with Internet Explorer 8 in that I couldn't download anything without the computer timing out; IE was downloading things at a nice, slow 302 bytes per second. I have the problem semi-repaired but am still arguing with the computer. Updates to Protege and Snape's Life is in the works.

Chapter 4

Friday

Disclaimer: While I am borrowing many of the characters created by J.K. Rowling, all rights to those characters remain solely with her. I am neither receiving nor soliciting any monetary recompense for this story.

Christmas Day dawned cold and snowy. It was 8 am when harry awoke, which was unusual. Normally, Snape would have had him up and at the table by 7:30. 'Still,' Harry mused, 'it IS Christmas day.'

Harry crawled out of the warm bed and after cleaning up and dressing warmly, made his way out to the sitting area in Snape's quarters; Harry liked this room the best. Unlike Snape's normal black attire, the room was decorated in browns and creams with shades of green and blue tossed in here and there for a bit of contrast. A cheerful fire blazed in the large fireplace, the flames dancing in colors of yellow and orange. There was a subtle smell of cedar in the air giving an identity to the firewood currently being consumed. Harry spotted Snape seated in his customary morning location, his attention solely on the spread out paper in front of him as he idly sipped his coffee from time to time. Harry made his way over and as he sat down, a bowl of porridge appeared immediately, along with some buttered toast. Harry gaped a bit and then looked up at Snape who smirked in satisfaction without actually looking up.

"I don't like porridge all that much," Harry groused.

"It is good for you. Warms you up, fills you up and keeps you going," Snape said in satisfaction. "Eat that first and then you can have what you want, within reason of course. " Harry watched as Snape pointed over towards another small table.

"I took the liberty of having Stiry bring any newly arrived packages from your bed down here. You may open them after you finish your breakfast. Lunch will be at your leisure, dinner is set for 6 pm in the Great Hall."

Harry took in the small pile of wrapped packages and swallowed hard. He knew where those packages had come from already able to readily identify the standard Weasley jumper he had received every year since meeting the Weasleys. The fact his friends had still sent him Christmas presents after the way he had acted made the guilt flood back, especially since he himself had forgotten to send theirs. It looked like Hedwig wasn't going to get a Christmas break herself, or at least not until she had delivered the packages Harry had stored in his trunk. Still, the packages were already late; another hour or so wouldn't make a difference. He should probably add a note as well, apologizing not only for the late arrival of the packages, but for his behavior as well.

After adding some cream to his porridge, Harry ate silently, occasionally reaching out for a piece of toast. He wasn't really thinking of anything, just letting his mind wander a bit going over the events of the past few months. Severus subtly observed Harry, noting the slightly slumped shoulders as he ate. Severus could see that Harry was engrossed in thought and Severus had an idea of what he was thinking. The look on Harry's face when he had seen the packages was all too telling; his guilt was making itself known and knowing Harry, it would eat him alive until he could come to terms with things.

"What are your plans for today?" Severus asked just as Harry finished eating.

"Not completely sure actually. I have to mail some packages," here Harry's face turned red in embarrassment " then I'll probably work on some more classwork since the weather isn't the best for flying at the moment. I guess I'll just take things as they come; have a quiet day " Harry grinned a bit as he looked mischievously at Snape, "how about you, what are you doing today?"

Just as Harry suspected might happen, Snape stiffened and said,

"I am not in the habit of outlining my schedule to my students, however, if you must know, I have a potion I am working on and will be spending most of the day working on that. "

"Potion brewing?" Harry said incredulously. "It's Christmas! Don't you ever relax, have fun?"

"I am well aware of the day," Severus stated. "You wished for a quiet day and so do I, away from the chattering and incessant noise created by unruly students. I enjoy experimenting with different potions; I do not brew exclusively just to torture students you know. I am a Potions Master which means I may create new potions or try to make improvements to potions already created." Severus gestured to a copy of the latest Potions Monthly journal. "It is the responsibility of Potions Masters to validate outcomes and notify other potion makers of changes in techniques or ingredients that may make a potion more useful, or even harmful if brewed improperly."

Harry tipped his head a little. "So you experiment on potions and then write about what you found?"

Severus nodded once. "You might want to read some of the journals I have on hand here; it might help you in your own brewing actually. If you want, you may also join me today for a while, maybe brew one or two of those potions you need to make up."

Harry grimaced inwardly when he heard himself reply.

"Thanks Professor, maybe I will."

Severus rose to his feet. "I'll be in the lab if you need me," he stated as he walked to the door that led to his office.

Harry just nodded and after the door closed behind Snape, Harry moved over to the packages that lay on the table. His hand shaking slightly, Harry reached for the package which he knew contained the jumper and opened it slowly. A lump rose in his throat when he saw this year's theme; Mrs Weasley had outdone herself. The jumper was knitted in green and contained the silhouette of a silver buck and doe. Lying at the feet of the buck and doe was a black dog. A white wolf had its muzzle raised high, pointed directly at the silvery moon that sat above the quartet. Harry ran his hand gently over the images, remembering the sacrifices of the four people depicted. He had promised Remus he would look after Teddy and Harry swore silently to himself that he would not fail in that promise.

Putting on the jumper, Harry turned to the next package; this one from Hermione. It was square and heavy and Harry smiled slightly; 'another book' he thought. ThirtyWays to Catch the Worst, by Auror Alastor Moody. Harry smiled wider; Hermione knew of his desire to become an auror and what better tips than from old Mad-E ye himself. Flipping through the pages, it looked like Mad-Eye had written this before he went, well, mad. Putting the book aside, Harry reached for the next package.

Smaller in size, about the size of a necklace box, Harry noticed it was from Ginny. Opening the package, a small box lay in his palm. Opening it, he found a silver starfish attached to a long silver chain. There was a piece of paper folded up within the box and opening it, Harry read:

"Starfish: In Christian symbolism the Starfish represents the Virgin Mary (Stella Maris which means Star of the Sea) who lovingly creates safe travel over troubled waters and is also seen as an emblem of salvation during trying times. The star as well as the Starfish are seen as celestial symbols and as such, they represent infinite divine love. In addition to love, the Starfish also holds characteristics such as guidance, vigilance, inspiration, brilliance and intuition."

Harry noted that Ginny had added:

"Harry, we found each other in the worst times of our world and we found our souls bonded. I chose this symbol as a sign of my lasting love and devotion to you. All my love, Gin."

Harry wiped away the tear that made its way down his cheek as he put the chain over his head, holding the starfish in one hand for a moment. He knew Ginny would be surprised when she got her package for it contained the exact same symbol, only in a rich gold. Seems they really were meant for each other.

The next package was from Ron and contained the typical sweet assortment along with several new joke gadgets George had made up in the past year.

Going back to his room, Harry grabbed several sheets of parchment, his quill and ink and took them out to the table where he sat and began to write to his friends. He apologized to them and told them a little about what he had been feeling and why. He told them of his feelings on that disastrous last day of term and let them know he would make it up to them when they got back. To Ginny he wrote of his love and wish that the relationship they had built would continue on and that he needed her in his life.

Taking the letters with him, he made his way up to Gryffindor tower to get the packages out of his trunk. Attaching the letters to the packages, he put on a warm cloak and made his way through the blowing snow up to the owlery, where he found Hedwig snuggled up to a large brown male, her eyes closed in sleep. Chirruping to her quietly, he smiled as she opened her eyes and with a soft hoot, fluttered down onto his outstretched arm. Whistling, Harry also called down the male brown who gave a louder hoot as he too fluttered down to sit on the perch just in front of Harry. Harry handed Hedwig a bit of the toast from his breakfast, knowing it was her favorite and handed a piece of dried meat the brown who took it gently from Harry's fingers.

"I'm sorry you two but I need you to deliver a few packages for me. I know flying in this weather is nasty but I need to get these packages to Ron, Ginny and Hermione. Everyone is at the Weasley's so you only need to go to Ron's house. Hedwig, I want you to stay there until the weather breaks so I won't worry about you OK?" he said, as he stroked her gently, getting a soft hoot and a slight nibble on his finger. Tying the larger of the three packages to the brown's leg and tying the smaller two packages to Hedwig's leg, he carried them to the open window and watched as they flew away, side by side, in the blowing snow. Harry turned and made his way back Snape's warm quarters.

Reaching the quarters without incident, Harry grabbed his homework list and books and sat down to work. A few hours later, having finished the first of several Transfiguration essays, Harry ordered a small lunch from Stiry and after eating, grabbed up the potions list and made his way into the lab. He walked in to find Severus set up with no less than three cauldrons, stirring them in turn while consulting the book that he was holding. He looked up when he heard the door open.

"Harry, need something?" he asked.

Holding up the list, Harry explained.

"You said I could come in and brew some of these potions. "

Severus gestured to the table opposite the steaming cauldrons. "You can set up there and get started. You should find all of the ingredients in the student cupboard but if there is something missing, let me know. I'll be here if you need me."

Four hours later, Harry had completed two of the required potions and had finished the base for the third. Snape, true to his word, had helped Harry with a few instructions Harry had not understood and the potions came out perfectly. In giving that help, Harry had also gained a better understanding as to how some of the ingredients worked with others and for once, had enjoyed the brewing; he was almost eager to try more.

After cleaning up, Harry grabbed his cloak intent on going outside to get some fresh air despite the chill and snow that was still falling. Outside, the air was cold but the winds had died down. The gray clouds continued to hover as the snow gently fell on the quiet and expansive grounds of the castle. The sun was setting and Harry decided against a walk, knowing just how dark it could get, deciding to play it safe, for once, and just sat down on the front stoop. As he wrapped his arms around his legs, he just stared out into the darkening landscape, remembering the time he had spent with Hermione during those final days, their trip to the cemetery to locate his parents' graves and the air of desperation that had surrounded them. That was over now and everyone was that had survived was safe. Harry realized he should be happy and content but the never ending guilt, though slightly in the background now, simply would not let him rest.

Harry was so lost in thought that he was unaware of the time passing and started a bit when the door behind him opened. Looking over his shoulder, he saw Snape standing in the doorway, the light from the entry hall spilling out from behind him and out onto the stoop where Harry was sitting. Harry could see that Snape was already dressed for dinner, the deep green of his Potions Master robe set off the crisp white shirt, black pants and tall black boots that completed the ensemble. The two edges of the robe were connected by a thick, rolled gold chain, setting off the gold cauldron and wand emblem resting just below Snape's right shoulder, the emblem that denoted Snape's rank as a Potions Master.

"It is 30 minutes before dinner. I would suggest you come in and get ready," Severus said firmly.

Harry nodded in answer as he stood up and made his way shakily inside, his legs numb from the cold. As Harry passed him, Severus laid his hand on Harry's shoulder causing him to stop and look up.

"Are you alright?" Severus asked him, removing his hand.

Not knowing if Snape were asking if he was alright due to the cold or alright emotionally, Harry muttered a non-committal "fine" as he continued on his way.

'No you aren't' Severus thought to himself, 'but with time, you will be.'

Back in Snape's quarters, Harry got out of his everyday school robes and changed into dress robes before combing his hair down into some semblance of order. Despite seven years of fussing with his hair, it still did what it wanted and short of cutting it almost ridiculously short, Harry decided there wasn't much he could do about it. Putting the comb back down, Harry made his way up to the Great Hall.

As had happened every year since Harry had started at Hogwarts, the Great Hall was lavishly decorated. No less than a dozen large pine trees decked out in red, blue, silver and gold decorations lined the sides and front of the Great Hall. Holly and pine bough streamers were draped across the front of the staff table and large candles were burning around the room. One table had been set up at the front of the Hall and was set for what Harry presumed were those staff and students remaining for the holidays. Harry could see Professor Dumbledore, Snape and Professor McGonagall chatting amicably while Professors Flitwick and Sprout were overseeing a mock duel between two smiling first years, giving tips every now and again. Several students that Harry had seen but didn't really know were mingling with each other, clearly uncomfortable with the idea of sitting so closely with their teachers for a meal.

As Harry approached, Professor Dumbledore reached out his hand.

"Harry my boy, so glad you made it. Severus has been telling us of your efforts the past few days."

Flushing slightly, Harry noticed the other students looking at him curiously.

"It's getting there Professor," Harry said quietly, returning his attention to the headmaster. "I should be through in plenty of time."

"Wonderful, wonderful," Dumbledore boomed. "On that note, shall we all take our seats and get started on what promises to be a scrumptious feast? The house elves have truly outdone themselves this year."

As soon as everyone had taken their seats, the table became laden with several dishes. Turkey with all the trimmings, beef roast and potatoes were there along with numerous types of salads and vegetables. Two platters contained various types of warm rolls, their scent rising to tantalize the people sitting at the table. Large frosty pitchers of water, pumpkin juice and milk were liberally interspersed amongst the many platters. Holiday crackers, wrapped in various brightly colored papers, dotted the table, just begging to be opened to spread their contents. Always ready, Dumbledore was the first to snatch one of the crackers and managed, somehow, to get a scowling Snape to pull the other end. Harry almost lost the pumpkin juice had had just sipped from his glass when the smoke cleared and he could see that Snape had gotten deluged with multiple colors of confetti, the bright colors covering Snape's hair and robe. Laughing joyously, Dumbledore took out his wand and cleaned Snape up, but unknowing to Snape, left quite a bit of the confetti on the top of Snape's head. Dumbledore glanced mischieviously at the two first years, winking at them and watching as they almost choked trying to keep back their laughter; even Snape's trademark scowl directed at them couldn't quell their mirth.

Severus observed Harry for the entire meal. Harry barely ate, picking at his plate and being just social enough to avoid raising suspicion, but, Severus could see Harry wasn't happy. The smiles were forced and no one seemed to truly notice that Harry never initiated a conversation, but spoke only when directly asked something. The two first years, Riell and Somers Severus recalled, had gotten Harry to pull open two crackers but could see his heart wasn't really into the game despite the enthusiasm of the two small boys.

Glancing at Minerva towards the end of the meal a couple of hours later, Severus could see her watching Harry as well, a slight frown of worry on her face. Severus knew how much Harry meant to Minerva and against his normal character, he patted her hand under the table. Minerva looked up and at the long look from Severus, she understood. Harry was in Severus' care for the moment and he would keep him safe and help him through this latest torment. Minerva nodded at Severus to let him know the message had been received, and she watched as Severus rose from the table and nodded respectfully to Dumbledore and the other staff members before taking his leave, preferring not to partake in the lavish deserts that had appeared.

Severus was sitting in his armchair in front of the fire, perusing a journal and finishing his ever present coffee when Harry walked in. He laid down the journal and looked at Harry, noting that no emotion was displayed on Harry's face; no happiness, sadness, anger, nothing; just a blank, almost dead look. As Harry made his way across the room, heading for what Severus presumed was his room, Severus stood up and stopped Harry with a hand on his shoulder and turned him so he was facing Severus. When Harry didn't look up or even question, Severus gently tipped his chin up and finally, green eyes met black. Severus hesitated only a moment before wrapping his arms around Harry. Expecting resistance, Severus was further surprised when Harry leaned into the embrace, resting his head on Severus' shoulder and wrapping his arms around Severus' waist. Severus rubbed Harry's back.

"Things are going to work out," he told Harry quietly. "There is no reason to walk around thinking the world is going to end. Your friends will come around and knowing them as I do," here Severus smirked a little as he heard Harry give a small chuckle, "they will be pouncing on you the moment they lay eyes on you on the first night back. In the meantime, do your work, relax a little when you can and stop worrying so much. I'm here if you need to talk."

Harry just nodded and pulled back, releasing his hold; Severus let him go.

"Goodnight professor," was all he said.

Severus nodded in acknowledgement and watched Harry go to the room he had been given.

Walking over to a small writing desk, Severus opened a drawer and took out Lily's picture. A regular muggle style photo, the green eyes of the smiling and carefree woman Severus loved so much was forever captured.

"Your boy is hurting Lils and I am not sure I can help him, but, I will do what I can, I promise," Severus whispered to her, running his finger down the side of the still face before gently placing the picture back in the drawer and closing it quietly.

Walking back to his chair, Severus picked up the journal to resume his reading but then, he lay the journal down and stared pensively into the fire, lost in thought.