Disclaimer: This story is mine… well because the majority of everything that happens I know from first or second hand experience, but everything else belongs to the writer of the Twilight Saga… like ya'll don't know who I'm talking about.

A/N… yes I know I suck because I can't keep up with a deadline… whatever…life sucked… I have this vapid curator that I work for that decided that my entire exhibit design on organized crime in the 1930's needed and I quote "modernization and diversity"… if you're like… what the fuck… it was a bunch of white guys with guns seventy years ago, how do you modernize and diversify?… you my friend hit the nail on the head. That's what you get for hiring an artist to run a history museum… but I digress.

Basically this is me apologizing and stating that unlike the previous chapters it will have multiple POV's, mostly because I needed to hear Edward, but no one can reveal something this big like Bella can. So, without further interruption I present to you…chapter 5.

Chapter 5

EPOV

I released a sigh of relief as the door silently clicked closed behind my exiting evening guest.

'That could have been worse,' I thought to myself as I unconsciously locked the door behind her to assure there would be no re-entry.

'Worse?' My brain argued in response, 'What the fuck Cullen were you even there? That's going to go down as the 'Fuck Fiasco of 2009!'

"That's an exaggeration," I argued out loud.

'Okay… Then if you wouldn't mind explaining the barmaid's rational for shattering that crystal vase that use to sit on the hall table, the rest of the class would love to understand.'

'Alright,' I conceded, 'that was probably the worse morning after in the history of one night stands.'

As much as it makes me cringe to admit, I am not a stranger to the occasional one-night stand. In fact, well shit, I was pretty much the opposite when I lived in New York, I had hump'em and dump'em down to an art form, and never once did I get this type of reaction. I might be a bit of a whore, but I'm a quick learner, I would have hidden all the breakable objects that resided within the immediate region of exit.

'Yeah, but this isn't New York, this is Forks, maybe the ladies do it different. You know small town and all that crap.' My brain tried to rationalize Tanya's actions, but then all my thoughts moved quickly to an intoxicating brunette that has secretly held my heart since I was eighteen and in my recent past filled my bed.

'Bella didn't act all crazy the morning after.'

'That's because she hit it and quit it faster than you could. She was gone, and the bed was cold before you even got up.'

So true.

Part of me always wondered what happened when she woke up. How she got home, what time she left, where she even lived. Sure I had her number, aside from Ali and Jasper she was the only person I knew with a 330 area code. Fucking Ohio.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing but respect for the buckeye state. They have Jim Tressel and LaBron James, and now Shaq calls the place home. I think Usher owns part of the Cleveland Cavs, Devo is from Akron and …Geoffrey Domer…is from… near…there as well. Okay the last one isn't such a great example. None the less, Bella chose there over where I was and I might be a bit prejudice in my animosity.

Sorry.

Ignoring the mess by the door momentarily I went about my usual morning-after routine. I showered, changed my sheets, and checked the weather, dressing accordingly for yet another rainy day before settling in with my daily cup of coffee and the Tuesday Forks Harold.

Forks being the town it was, nothing of notoriety graced all five pages of the paper giving my mind ample time to wonder.

A glance at my clock told me I still had two hours to kill before I would see Bella.

Bella.

There was so much about her I still didn't know. Granted, Facebook provided me with information, but her page hadn't been updated in months, trust me, leaving gaping holes in the beautiful enigma that was Isabella Swan.

Sure I knew her back story, well at least Rosalie's point of view, but unlike her sister Bella didn't let her past hold her back, she never said or did anything that I expected, and normally I could get a pretty good read on people. Hence the long list of peaceful pleased women that left my bed, well except for Tanya of course.

I may have been distracted when I told her it was time to "rise and shine and head on home."

With that I remembered the banshee's parting gift.

As irritated as I was about the crystal vase that Esme had bought me to "warm the place up a bit" being destroyed, mostly because how does one explain to their mother that a fly by night floozy trashed a $400 Swarovski vase because you told her that the ride was nice, but there wouldn't be a repeat race, I could appreciate the force which was exerted to achieve the type of trajectory the shards finally settled in.

I made a mental note to order a new one before mom decided to "stop by" to check up on me.

Just as I finished collecting the scatterings that managed to find themselves under my couch my cell phone began to ring. Groaning I rose to my feet, not really in the mood to talk to anyone right then, especially after the caller ID displayed Marcus Andrews' face after he competed in the annul pie eating contest.

Accepting the call I held the phone to my face flippantly throwing out "Yes?" awaiting his reply.

"Is this the party to whom I am speaking?" God he was douche.

"What Marcus, I have shit to do this morning and I'm in a hurry. So either get to the point or get off the phone, either way make it quick."

"On the contrary Cullen, I know for a fucking fact that your pasty ass is back in Forks and it takes fifteen minutes to get from one side of town to the other. So you're not in that big of a hurry… Now that we have that established, what the fuck dude? No call? No love? I thought we were friends ass hole."

Scrubbing at my face with my free hand I rolled my head 'til I was looking up at the ceiling. "Calm down Marc, it was a spur of the moment decision. Seriously Esme and Carlisle only found out yesterday that I left the big apple. Wait…how did you find out I was back?"

"Um, in case you missed the, I don't know, last five years, I'm a deputy under Chief Swan, that man knows everything. Between him bitching about your speeding down Main on Friday night and Bella not wearing her seatbelt on Saturday you would have thought the two of you robbed a bank or something." I was glad to hear that our tax dollars supported Charlie's bitching habit.

"Ah," I said accepting his explanation with a pointless nod, "Anything else?" I moved across the room to look out my bay window at yet another dreary morning.

It's good to be home.

"Well actually… since you asked ever so nicely white bread… McCarty and I were planning on getting together to play some one-on-one tonight at the gym and we were thinking that you and Jazz should come out, make the game more interesting and the losers treat me and Em out to wings and beer at the Saloon."

Turning away from what appeared to be a fairly intimate moment between to squirrels on the tree branch in front of my window I answered. "First of all, you're like the only black man within a twenty mile radius of Forks, so everyone other than you is white, well or Quileute, but that's beside the point. Secondly, as much as I find you and Emmett's gay romping entertaining, I have plans with a certain brunette that I've had my eye on for a while, and I don't want to limit my time frame to hang out with her brother and her ex."

"Oh the infamous B Swan," his voice was whimsically mocking, "well to return your sentiments, as much as I like to say you're going to have your ever after over I don't know… coffee, you won't be spending the entire day with her so you can come kick it without worry."

"What?" I sunk onto the couch in disbelief.

"Yeah apparently she called Charlie this morning saying that she was going to bug off again to see her mother and catch one of Phil's play-off games. I'm surprised you didn't know, Alice is leaving with her on a late night flight out of Seattle tonight and Jasper is leaving on Thursday after school. Chief says that we're supposed to watch their places until Next Wednesday. I thought you were family with these people?"

Running my hand through my hair I grumbled something about not hearing from Ali and Assper since Sunday and that I would meet him and Emmett at the gym at seven. "Call Jazz, I'm running late." My tone was curt, but my morning was quickly taking a thorough trip down the shitter. I was completely justified.

"Alright Cullen, enjoy your lunch date with Bella and I'll see you tonight. Don't forget your wallet. My black ass can work up an appetite."

I hung up without actually ending the conversation on my part, but I'm a moody motherfucker so people totally just take that shit in stride.

My head was spinning. Bella, Alice, and Jasper we're leaving for a week without as much as a word to anyone but Charlie. I paced back and forth watching the clock tick by wondering why Bella wanted to meet me today and then leave the freaking state only hours later.

As I mentally dissected everything I knew I came up with three possible scenarios.

One, Baseball season is fairly erratic during play-offs, maybe she just found out about the games. Two, She just found out I got back, you know in the midst of everything else that was going on in her life, Jasper may not have felt that the presence of his brother-in-law needed to be mentioned. So when she found out I was back she wanted to see me before she left. Or three, Bella Swan was going to shake up my world and run away and hide.

With taking all of these possibilities into consideration there was one thing I was absolutely certain of… For the first time since I saw Bella slide off the back of Jasper's motorcycle she was single and I refused to sit back and miss my opportunity.

Isabella Swan would finally be mine.

*

The drive to Java Station was highly uneventful, unless you count the traffic jam that occurred when a gaggle of geese traipsed their way across the street. Six minutes I sat behind a logging truck while the feathered family slowly traveled.

It put me behind schedule. I hate being late. Mix that with morning I was already having I may have driven the last two miles like a complete asshat attempting fruitlessly to make up time and let out some aggression.

I pulled into the small lot at 11:07 and looked for Bella's trusty rusty truck, but it was nowhere to be found. My sister's yellow Saab sat in the far corner like usual, her small design firm was located above the coffee shop. She claimed the aroma kept her stimulated, allowing the creative juices to flow. I think it's because she loves caffeine, but hates the taste of coffee and this allows her all the girly milk based beverages her little heart could take. And they delivered.

There were a few other non-descript American-made vehicles loitering in the lot and one pristine eye-catching white Audi in the spot next to Alice. I was entranced. The car rode low on specialty spoked rims and low-profile wheels. The paint had a pearlescent quality that shimmered even in the dismal Forks day in stark contrast to the barely legal tinted windows.

Thinking about it rationally the car could only belong to one person…

'I did not know there were drug dealers in Forks. I should tell Assper, save him the drive to Port Angeles. Eh, on second thought, fuck him, his ass can drive.'

Shaking away my negative thoughts and sending a silent 'thank you' out to the big man, because somehow I beat Bella, I slowly swaggered my way into the shop.

Yes, I know it's slightly sleazy to draw attention to myself even though I'm planning to have coffee with the woman the universe intended me to be with, but I'm not stupid. The ladies are going to look, why not give them a show eh?

I like to think of it as a public service. Esme always told me to help the less fortunate.

I casually glanced at my reflection one last time in the glass door.

Hair sexed up and demanding attention? Check.

Black Tee perfectly snug and looking like I pulled it off the floor? Check.

Jeans riding just low enough to give Bella a peak at the man-v she drunkenly admitted to be her weakness? Double fucking check.

I said I was going to fight, I never said that I was going to fight fair.

A little bell chimed my entrance and instantly my nose was assaulted by the strong scent of freshly brewed coffee and my eyes blinded by the ever-so-popular Jessica Stanley. That girl has seen more wiener than a hotdog vender. Unfortunately mine has met her vender. That was the last townie party I ever went to. I was twenty.

I moved forward into the small café, ignoring Jess's leering gaze and scanning the available tables for the perfect location for my coffee date with Bella. Was it a little presumptuous of me to call an eleven o'clock meeting a date? Probably, but I had the full intention of paying for her coffee, so therefore the event could totally fall under the date category.

I was silently applauding myself, when my stomach dropped. Bella was already here, and holding a coffee mug.

Motherfucker.

She was sitting in the far corner at a small round table, engaged in what appeared to be a heated conversation with Alice, but in all honesty I couldn't be too sure about that, my sister always talks with hands like she's directing traffic. For one so small she sure was animated.

Neither of them seemed to notice me right away, and their indifference granted me the ability to eavesdrop into their conversation as I crossed the room in their direction.

At first their words were lost midst the hum drum of the other patrons, but as I closed the distance Alice's voice rang loudly in my ears. "Like a band-aid. Quick, painless, it's going to be your best route."

Bella snorted, "Speaking as a person with an inconceivable amount of experience with band-aids, ripping those fuckers off maybe quick, but they sure as hell aren't painless. I fell for that shit with the Brazilian and decided that you either have a hulktastic threshold for pain or you're a motherfucking liar."

With a snort I quipped, "I'd agree with the latter."

Instantly, two sets of eyes burned into my face like I just caught them red-handed trying to rob the Forks Credit Union. 'Weird.'

Fidgeting with her mug and rising from her seat Alice's eyes flickered between me and Bella. "Hey… brother, eh-w-when did you get here?"

I smiled casually at the two women and shrugged my left shoulder, "Just a second ago, I was running late."

Alice let out a breath, in what appeared to relief? While Bella nodded, a nervous smile curling the corners of mouth in an expression that could only be described as cutely uncomfortable. Does that make sense?

"Oh well then," Alice said with a clap, "I'll uh, just be over, um there with Alec looking over next season's line… so yeah." Alice had pointed to a similar table on the other side of the room where a small man with a rainbow Mohawk, sporting a Fiona Apple Tee and a tribal printed scarf sat tapping his pen impatiently.

Alec was Alice's assistant, they met in college at a gay bar called The Square in the neighborhood Bella, Jasper, and Alice called home back in Akron. From the gist of it, Alec hit on Jasper, Jasper hid behind Alice, and Alice told Alec he had great taste in men, but horrible gay-dar. Needless to say my drama-queen sister and her flaming-queen mister were a match made in fashion heaven. Well that at least what Vanity Fair said about them last March.

Not that I uh read Vanity Fair.

"Hey", Bella's voice ripped my thoughts away from my internal monologue as she smiled more confidently and motioned for me to take Alice's recently vacated seat.

"Hey," I responded as I lowered myself onto the metal café chair, because wouldn't you know? I'm an inarticulate tool.

Talk about a lull in conversation. I always thought that saying "the silence is deafening" was some literary ploy to sound deep all the while having something to say. I take it back, because the first minutes that passed while Bella played with her empty coffee mug and I people watched unable to come up with anything intelligent to say made me want to poke out my eyes they were so painful.

I'm not one hundred percent sure what Bella did for a living, but I knew she had an English degree, you know the same type of people who make a living talking about silence, and I was in advertising for Christ's sake, we should have been able to at least come up with some sort of ice breaker.

"Could sell sand to Iraq" that's what my last boss said; "The boy can talk about anything and make it sound interesting." Where the fuck was that Edward Cullen now?

'Think of something, anything. Why must she play with that damn empty cup, she's making me nervous. Wait… her cup's empty… she needs more beverage… put it together Cullen. Bella needs more to drink which you can purchase and the suggestion would lead to talking… anytime you want to open your mouth would be awesome.'

"Did you want a refill?"

My voice was a little cracked, but it was enough to gain Bella's attention. "I'm sorry, what?"

Pointing to her empty mug, I repeated my question with a slight chuckle; at least I wasn't the only one feeling uncomfortable. "Did you want a refill?"

Furrowing her brows she looked at her empty mug then back at me, realization and a soft smile claiming her features, "Oh, most definitely not. This," she said holding up and giving the mug a shake, "was like my fourth cup. I'm good for right now."

'Forth cup?' Looking at my watch I questioned her mildly paranoid that I had totally fucked up. "How long have you been here? I thought we were supposed to meet at eleven."

She laughed at my obvious freak out, waving her left at my watch. "Calm down Cullen you're fine. I get out of work at ten and it just seems like a waste of time to go home to sit for a half an hour so I just came straight here to hang out with Alice."

Mentally wiping off my forehead I gave her a little smile, "Thank God, because I already felt like an ass for being seven minutes late, any longer and then people might start accusing my momma for not raising me right."

She gasped in feigned disbelieve, "Oh dear, poor Esme. Who knows what these gossip whores would say if they found out her son left a female waiting. She's a lucky woman for having a son so concerned with her public image."

"What can I say," I responded with a shoulder shrug, "I'm a momma's boy."

She smirked at my admission, but didn't comment so I decided that someone needed to move the conversation forward.

"You know, when I didn't see your truck outside I actually thought that I beat you here."

Her brow furrowed slightly, "My truck?"

Nodding I clarified, "That beast of American made machinery you drive."

She laughed, throwing her head back. "Jesus Cullen, I haven't even thought about that piece of shit in years." She wiped a tear from the corner of her right eye, looking ever so slightly like Rosalie, not that I would ever tell her that. "Old Betsy and I parted ways before I moved to Ohio. No, Claude's parked in the lot next to Alice."

'Claude's next to Alice? The only car next to Alice is that drug dealer's Audi. Is Bella a drug dealer? No way, that can't be right.' Looking what I can assume to be skeptical I questioned, "The Audi?"

"Yep," she simply replied placing extra emphasis on the 'p'.

I nodded, wondering what the hell she did for a living to afford a forty thousand dollar car.

She laughed again, straight from the gut, tipping dangerously onto the back two feet of her chair.

Wondering what caused such a reaction I questioned her behavior. "What?"

Shaking her head and gasping for breaths, "You just flat out asked me how I could afford a forty thousand dollar car. And here I was thinking that Esme actually taught you manners."

"I did what?" 'Oh, fuuuucccck me sideways.'

Trying to get her guffaws down to a dull roar, "What do you mean; "I did what?" you were there."

"I didn't say that." I was certainly thinking it, but I never would have said it, would I? 'That's right Cullen… deny, deny, deny.'

My denial only proved to be more hilarious, causing Bella to succumb to the snorts and hyperventilating hoots that she only gave when something was really funny. Again she tipped back onto her chair's rear feet, but this time she was unable to remain upright and flipped ass over tea kettle backwards onto the floor. Her little feet kicked back and forth in the air as her laughter filled the room.

I stood to help her up, but before I knew what was going on Alice was at Bella's side.

My sister's voice was filled with worry, fear streaking across her features. "Oh my God Bella, are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere? Do you need to go to the hospital? Fuck! Of course you need to go the hospital."

My mind was racing, 'Why would Bella need to go to the hospital? Was she hurt? Damn it, this was Bella we were talking about, of course she was hurt all because I don't have a fucking mental filter. I fucking hurt Bella. Could this day get any worse?'

As I loomed over my sister and the cackling love of my life, I pulled vigorously at my hair in frustration; Bella rasped out, "It hurts! Oh God it hurts!" And Alice continued to assault her with questions.

"Bells, you need to calm down. I need to know where you're hurt." My sister began to pat all around Bella's squirming body. "Alec," she screeched over her shoulder at the indifferent gay man still seated at their table sipping ever-so-nonchalantly on his latte, "meetings over get me my car keys! I have an emergency on my hands!"

Slowly Bella began to regain her composure, swatting away my sister's hands as they patted all around her abdomen. "Get the hell off me midget, I'm fine."

Huffing Alice rocked back onto her heals, "I was just trying to help no need for insults asshole. You were the one screaming 'It hurts'."

Sitting up slowly on the back of her flopped chair, taking deep breaths as she straddled the seat, "I meant it hurt to laugh that much. You should have heard the stupid that spewed from your brother's mouth. You would have thought I was talking to Jazz."

Well that was a little harsh.

Alice looked at me with a raised eyebrow; well I think that's what it was. She never really did get a handle on that particular facial expression. "What is she talking about?"

I shoved my hands deep in my front pockets, and no, I wasn't playing with myself, it just happens to be something I do when I'm not sure what to do with my hands. "I guess I said something funny."

"Which was?" My sister's tone was hard edged, but I still hear the hint of curiosity that laced her words.

Using my right hand to rub the back of my neck as I looked at the ground, avoiding eye contact, "I'm not sure."

By this point in time Bella had begun to pull herself off the ground, attempting to bring the chair up with her, and being the gentleman I am, I was all too willing to jump in and offer my aid.

'You keep telling yourself Cullen. Mr. Darcy you are not, douche bag.'

Gently I wrapped my arm around her waist and lifted her to her feet making sure to place the chair a safe distance behind her. Didn't want to tempt the woman's inane ability to hurt herself on anything.

Pulling her close enough that I was able nuzzle her hair just below her left ear, and burning her fucktastic scent into my memory, I whispered softly, "Are you really alright?"

She nodded slowly, inhaling deeply.

'Did she just sniff me?'

The prospect of being sniffed had me excited like a fat kid at a buffet, that I nearly missed her soft toned, "Yes, thank you."

A loud throat clearing brought us back to real world, reminding Bella and I that we were in fact canoodling in the middle of a semi-crowded Java Station after Bella flipped out of her seat laughing like an asylum escapee.

Odd behavior you ask? For the Swans this was fairly typical.

"As touching as this moment appears to be," Alice paused to give a poignant glare in Bella's direction, "I think I'll leave you two to your conversation."

Bella gave my sister a stiff nod in return and then lowered herself into her seat. Utilizing the moment to redeem my big ass mouth, I smoothly pushed her chair into place before making my way back to my seat.

Smiling brightly, I was determined not to waste anymore time. "So where were we?"

Bella looked deep in contemplation before meeting my gaze with a devilish smirk. "Are you referring to before or after you so rudely assumed that I couldn't afford Claude?"

Well snap.

I ran my fingers through my hair, poorly attempting to keep down the slight blush that always manages to peek above my collar when I'm embarrassed. Thank god I don't get embarrassed often. "Well… Um… I… shit… um eh… I'm an ass. I really didn't mean to say that out loud. I just saw the car and automatically figured it belonged to eh… you know an urban individual with low moral standards and a narcotics affiliation."

Bella tilted her head to the left, a smile breaking across her face, "Are you suggesting that I'm a drug dealer?"

'Danger Edward Cullen, Danger!'

"What? NO, not at all. I was just saying that your Claude?" She nodded. "Okay Claude, possessed the tell tale signs of…" I was burying myself a hole so deep I wouldn't have been surprise if black gold didn't start spurting to the ceiling. Groaning I pitched my head back in defeat, "motherfucker…" I rolled my head to the side so that I could make eye-contact with the brown haired beauty across from me, "I told you I'm an ass hole." She giggled at my obvious displeasure, "Bella can we start over?"

"Well I'm not too sure about that Edward. There's a lot of great material that I can use to entertain my friends during nights of drunken debauchery that you're expecting me to forget. What's in it for me?"

"What if I'm willing to make you a deal? If you erase the last twenty minutes from your memory, I promise to tell you how Jasper got his junk stuck in the swimming pool at U-Dub."

"Ooo, that's good Cullen, but I don't know." I pouted while she tapped her chin with her forefinger. No one can resist the patented Cullen pout. "Alright," I smiled in victory, "but," I narrowed my eyes when I realized she wasn't done with demands, "I can't guarantee under these circumstances that when alcohol is involved snippets won't slip."

"What do you need?" I asked accusatorily.

"The pictures from the night Emmett made out with the tranny." Damn this girl drives a hard bargain, 'Sorry Em.'

"Deal."

"Excellent!" Smiling my girl pushed herself away from the table and stood up to make her way to where I sat and tossed her arms around my neck hugging me tightly. "Oh Edward it's so good to see you. I'm sorry I'm late. I got held up in a business meeting with an associate of mine."

Playing along, I flashed her panty dropping crooked smile as she pulled away, "No problem B, I haven't been waiting very long. Did everything go alright in your meeting?"

She reclaimed her seat, "That it did. It was quite lucrative for me."

"Really?" I pursed my lips together in thought, "I'm sorry, but I really can't remember what it is you do for a living."

She laughed, the room warming up with the sound. "A little of this, a little of that. I like to think of my services as a necessary evil for the benefit of the masses."

"Oh," Apparently Bella was a drug dealer. "That seems like a very adventurous profession."

"It is indeed."

I tapped the table top, wishing that I would have went to that damn counter, Jessica Stanley be damned, and purchased myself some Joe. At least then I would have been able to fidget with my mug like. Bella. Is. Right. Now.

"So I assume that since you've moved home that you found a job nearby otherwise the commute is going to be hell?" Bella's voice was a wonderful sound to behold.

"Yeah, Ben Cheney, you remember him from high school?" She nodded, "well we went to U Dub together, both of us going into advertising, and we actually had our internship at the same firm in Seattle." I paused, waiting for physical proof that she was paying attention. I continued when she released her cup with her right hand to set her elbow on the table and cradle her face in her palm. "Well, you know that he and Angela Weber had a kid in college, Nathanial."

Bella smiled, "God that kid is so damn cute," she gushed, "looks just like Angela's brothers, only with black hair. He's going to break hearts someday."

I smirked, because she was right, "So after graduation, Ben stayed in Seattle that way he could be close to his son and I went on to New York to make a name for myself." She snorted at my arrogance. "Well it only took Ben proposing half a million times for Angela to say yes, but she finally agreed to marry the poor bastard, as long as she didn't have to leave her teaching job at Forks Elementary. That's where I come in. Ben and I and this idea of starting up our own firm back in the day, I had chalked it up to being a pipe dream, but apparently Cheney had other ideas and called me up out of the blue and suggested we partner up. That's why I was in town two months ago; we were finalizing the paperwork to move ahead with the project. Actually that night we met up, Ben, Ang, and I were out celebrating."

Leaning toward me Bella whispered, "Wow that seems pretty planned out for someone who said they moved back on a whim."

I felt the heat rise in my cheeks as I rubbed the back of my neck, "Yeah well, I guess that may have been a little white lie, but in my defense I wasn't positive until two weeks ago that everything had the green light and I didn't want to get everyone's hopes up and then not follow through. I'm sure you can understand."

She nodded, with a faraway look in her eye as she tilted her head downward ever-so-slightly. "I think I'm the only person in this town who can sympathize with your school of thought on the matter." She turned her face up and winked at me, leaning in even closer so that I could feel her coffee scented breath on my face, "Don't worry Cullen, your secret's safe with me."

Feeling playful I questioned, "And why should I believe you? Are you good at keeping information confidential Miss Swan?"

Her face blanched and she quickly shifted her weight so that she rested against the back of her chair and as far away from me as possible, "You have no idea," she muttered so low that I almost didn't hear her.

I had this overwhelming need to regain our lighthearted banter so I urged her to elaborate, "And to what are you referring to Miss Swan?"

I asked the question with hopes of earning a smart ass response, something along the lines of, "If I told you then it would no longer be a secret Mr. Cullen, then what proof would you have that I could keep your secret safe."

Yeah, that's not what happened at all.

Instead Bella started to once again play with her mug and shifted uncomfortably in her seat, her eyes avoiding me as she had a silent conversation with my sister from across the room.

"Right," breaking her gaze from Alice's vicinity, she mumbled to herself, "like a band-aid, what a crock." She cleared her throat and slowly raised her head to meet my eyes. "So Edward, you uh…" She paused to bite her lower lip, "mentioned celebrating with Ben and Angela at the Saloon. That was a pretty crazy night."

I chuckled, "Well it definitely ended differently than I intended."

"Oh?" She was obviously offended.

Quickly clarifying I countered with a confident smile, "Different good, not different bad, definitely good."

With a skeptical eye roll Bella responded with a simple "right," elongating the 'I'. That wasn't foreboding or anything.

Things were going downhill fast.

If I had any hope of salvaging this afternoon without requesting another restart, for which by the way I was sure that Bella would only up the ante on blackmail material, and frankly I wasn't sure how many juicy details she would request, my library was limited, I knew that I needed to play dirty.

I stretched my arms above my head and leaned over the back of my chair allowing my shirt to rise up exposing my well defined abdominal muscles and the 'v' that descended from my hips down to where my 'not-so-little friend' called home. I wondered momentarily if she remembered the firearm I was rocking, rolled my eyes at how much I sounded like Emmett and then smirked to myself as I saw Bella's eyes rank over my revealed flesh and I wondered if she noticed that I was free-ballin' under my low riding denim.

With a little shake of her head Bella seemed to gain some clarity and coughed into her tiny fist, looking away mumbling something along the lines of "good God."

I guess she remembered. That's a good start; time to get back on track.

"So you were asking about celebrating with Angela and Ben?"

She nodded, some of her hair falling in her face, creating a curtain that blocked my view.

It annoyed me.

Roughly pushing the flyaways behind her ears in no certain manner she grumbled, "I need a fucking a haircut."

Apparently the unruliness of her locks annoyed her too.

BPOV

"Wear your hair down it looks great." The devil pixie chimed. "The length adds an air of maturity while the wispiness of the curl makes you look inviting."

Not that I needed to look "inviting". Looking inviting was what got me into this mess.

At the time Alice's advice seemed reasonable. Now as I struggled with my mane, all I could think of was the fact that I was in desperate need of a haircut or a hair tie.

Beggars can't be choosers.

Stop. Focus.

"Yeah, I uh guess I did. You know, ask you about celebrating." There's that English degree being put to good use. Well you know what they say, that captain goes down with the ship. Figuring the S.S. Ugly Duckling was capsizing anyways might as well find out if Cullen gave me anything else along with his seed. "Do you celebrate like that often?"

His face scrunched up, brow furrowed; irritation flickered in his deep green eyes as he shot a look in Alice's direction then cautiously answered, "If the event is deemed celebration worthy. Why? What have you heard?"

What have I heard? Well ain't that the million dollar question? Let me recap what I have heard about Edward Anthony Cullen over the last two years.

Emmett has said, and I quote "That rich fucker in swimming neck-deep in pussy and has no intention of getting out of the pool."

Alice was a little more tactful, "I refuse to use the bathroom after him without a bottle of Lysol handy. Crabs can jump three feet you know."

One evening when my brother was especially stoned out of her gourd, his words not mine, he said, "Now don't get me wrong, I like Edward. He's my brother from another mother, but that's because I married his sister. However I'm glad he called things off with Rose, could you imagine the shit storm that would rain down upon us if he gave her something?"

Turning my attention back to Edward I smiled, unconvincingly, but hey that's all a part of my charm, and said. "You know, I haven't really heard that much. I was just making conversation, where did you get your sheets?"

"I'm sorry, what about my sheets?" Yes, I changed the subject. Pay attention Cullen.

"Where did you get them, they were nice. Soft. Are they Egyptian cotton, they felt like at least 380 thread count probable 500, and what is the exact name of the color, cream in my coffee, eggshell, asiago, gilded linen?"

"Uh, white."

"Hmm," I replied with a slight nod, "it's nice. Macy's? Bed Bath and Beyond?"

"House warming gift from my mom."

Harnessing my inner Alice I began to ramble, and quickly. "Do you think she got them at Macy's, because I just got these coupons in the mail , extra twenty percent off if I use my Macy's card, well as long as I don't purchase furniture or fragrance, but sheets don't fall into either of those categories and I really could use a new good set of sheets."

Edward looked unsure of how to respond. Scratching the back of his head, "You probably should ask Alice where my mom got them… unless you don't want her to know that you and I we…"

"She knows."

"Well then-"

Fuck it.

"Did you want some coffee my treat. I think I'm ready for another cup, decaf because I'm seven weeks pregnant, but they make a mean latte, you should try it." With that I pushed myself away from the table and stood up, but was stopped when his hand clasped my wrist like a shackle.

Stuttering Edward looked on in disbelief, "se-seven weeks what?"

I lowered myself into my seat and whispered, "Pregnant, Edward."

I could see the little hamster wheels turning in his head as he used his mental abacus to calculate the time frame. He almost looked cute, his face all contorted in fear. I made a mental note to ask Jasper if that's how I looked when I told him. "Am I?"

"The father?" He nodded, "As far as I know, otherwise I'm going to need a donkey, a manger, and three strange men on camels."

He snorted, however I was pretty sure he didn't find my joke funny, so I clarified. "You're the only one that I've been with since James left almost five months ago. So yes, you're the father."

He nodded at that, not making eye-contact he face turning a little on the green side. "Um, Bella would you excuse me for a moment, I need to use the restroom."

"Sure," I answered with a small smile that returned with a grimace, as he passed me. I allowed my eyes to follow his figure toward the back of the café. The man had a fine ass; I wasn't going to miss an opportunity to appreciate his fine Cullen genetics.

After Edward vanished from my line of sight, Alice materialized in his still-warm seat. "How'd it go?"

'How does she do that?'

"Um," I paused to push more of my hair behind my ear. "Well, we made chit-chat, I asked about his sheets, told him I was pregnant and then he went to take a leak, or puke." I smiled sarcastically, "So all-in-all, it went pretty shitty."

"There's no way it went that bad. I mean sure this is you and Edward we're talking about, but there's no way you crashed and burned too badly, unless you called him a whore. Did you call him a whore? Did he call you a whore? If he did I'll kill him. He did call you a whore, that fucker. I have a gun Bells, a shovel, and a really big back yard."

I put my hands up to stop her, because once she gets going the bitch is like the energizer bunny. "There's no need to plot your brother's demise, and no one was called a whore, I may have insinuated, but I thought better of taking the conversation in that direction."

Rolling her eyes Alice mumbled under her breath, "Thank Jesus for small miracles."

I shook off her comment, "I dropped a huge bomb on him, I say we just make like the Beatles and let it be."

Alice nodded, but made no effort to move back to where Alec was texting like a mad man.

Time ticked past.

I watched as patron after patron entered and left the small establishment getting their warm, caffeinated beverages from Jess Stanley.

For fifteen minutes I watched. I looked at the time on my cell phone and cleared my throat to gain Alice's attention. "I don't think he's coming back Ali."

"Don't be ridiculous Bella."

To prove my point I waved over a boy who was bussing a nearby table. Turning up the charm I smiled sweetly at the young man and batted my eyelashes, "Excuse me I was just wondering, does your men's room have a window?"

Alice scoffed and crossed her arms like a petulant child.

He thought for a moment before shaking his head, "No, it doesn't."

"HA!" Thank you Alice.

"But ," the boy continued leaning in closer and readjusting the bus tub at his hip, "the man that you were sitting with exited the café about ten minutes ago out the employee entrance in the back."

"FUCK!" Again, thank you Alice.

I gave the young man my empty cup and a five dollar bill for helping me out, and stood from the table. "Well my dear sister, I think my work here is done, and I need to get my beauty sleep before our flight. The car should be around to pick us up at six. I'll just meet you at your house."

She nodded, completely dumbstruck by the events that unfolded before her disturbingly large eyes, and mumbled what sounded like "throw away gun" and "six" as I walked away.