Note From The Author—I apologize profusely for the lack of review replies these last two chapters. Turns out that going back to school for a second Bachelor's degree totally ate my life this week : ) All I can say is thank you so much for the incredible feedback you've been giving me and I will try my absolute hardest to reply to any future review. Thanks so much; now upward and onward! PS I have no idea when regionals would be, so we're just going to pretend that I'm right, right? : )
With regionals rapidly approaching McKinley High's New Directions were living in a state of barely controlled chaos. It was a constant battle to try and finalize the set list, work out all of the costuming, and balance the work of perfecting things with the fact that Finn still refused to speak to Quinn and Puck and was hardly talking to the rest of them simply because he had become so introverted since everything had gone down.
The week of regionals found them all in a fervor trying to fix their costumes and choreography. Quinn had gotten bigger than any of them had expected her to; give how tiny she was, and last second alterations had to be made to make sure that some kind of flow was maintained in the look. Quinn insisted that there was nothing in the world that could possibly make her look right at eight months pregnant but it was decided that they had to try.
So two days before the competition the entire club was in the choir room, waiting around to re-work some of the choreography around Quinn's understandable lack of mobility in her current state as Rachel, Kurt and Mercedes gathered around the former Cheerio to decide how best to alter her costumes. As Puck watched good natured squabbling between them with a grin, Rachel knelt down to pick something up and he heard a low whistle from behind him.
"Damn, Puck if you're not going there do you mind if I do?" Matt asked. "Because that body of Berry's really is impressive."
Noah turned to his friend with his eyes narrowed. "Dude, I don't want to, but I will beat the shit out of you."
Shooting a quick 'I told you so' look at Mike, Matt turned his attention back to Puck. "What? You said you weren't going to go there with her, so why can't I?"
"Because, if you try I'll rip off both of your arms and beat you with them."
Unbeknownst to them, Finn was watching the entire exchange with a great deal of interest. It had been clear to him for a while that Puck didn't want to be with Quinn, and he had long since realized that what he wanted from Rachel was nothing more than pure and simple friendship. With all of that in mind, what his former best friend was feeling for the girl he also considered a friend worried him a little bit. Anyone could see that the pair of them had become inseparable, and Puck treated her like gold; it wasn't any of that that worried him. What had him on edge was the fact that both parties in that friendship were very clearly beginning to feel much more than just friendly things for each other, and Puck's history with women wasn't exactly encouraging. He didn't really think about what he did next, he just went for it.
"I hope you think long and hard before you end up going for a relationship with her."
It had been so long since he'd heard that voice directed at him that Puck found himself momentarily stunned when he turned to find Finn standing there with a surprisingly stern look on his face. "The first words you say to me in months, and you're worried about how I feel about Rachel?"
Finn sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "Look, I know things have been crappy between us lately, and I haven't forgiven you, but I think of Rachel as a really good friend, and I can tell that the two of you like each other. The way you are with girls? She doesn't deserve that."
The comment struck home and stung like a bitch, probably because he knew just how right it was. He didn't want to have this conversation in the middle of the choir room, but given the circumstances he figured he'd better take any opportunity Finn would give him to talk. "Look Hudson, Rachel's pretty much my best friend. I'm not so sure I want to jeopardize that."
The smile that Finn shot him then was a surprise. "Dude, did you just use a three syllable word? Rachel must be rubbing off on you."
"Yeah, well," he said with no small measure of embarrassment. He looked up at the kid who had been his best friend since grade school and shook his head. "I can't tell you enough how sorry I am for what Quinn and I did, man; but the bottom line is that Rachel has rubbed off on me, and I won't lie to you again and tell you that I don't want her. But what I will tell you is that I'm not gonna make a move unless I know I'm not going to wreck things between me and her."
"I can respect that." Then Finn did the one thing that Puck had been waiting for him to do for months, he held out his hand.
Feeling like an absolute pansy because he actually wanted to cry, Puck took that hand to shake it. In typical boy fashion they ended in one of those man hugs that resulted in the pair of them slapping each others' backs. Before they pulled apart, he took the opportunity to put in his two cents. "She misses you, you know."
He knew that they weren't talking about Rachel anymore, but he just wasn't ready to go there with Quinn yet. "I'm not there yet, man," he told his newly reconciled friend.
Puck wanted to push, he really did, but considering that Finn was barely on speaking terms with him he didn't think it would be such a great idea. Instead he just nodded and turned back to the action in the room, only to discover that it had completely stopped. Everyone was simply staring at them in amazement. Rachel had tears and a huge smile on her face, and Quinn was looking heartbroken by the fact that Finn had spoken to Puck and not her. As Finn turned away silent tears began to fall from Quinn's eyes, and Puck watched helplessly as Santana led her out into the hall.
Rachel could see the worry and loss in his eyes, and she met him halfway across the classroom. "She'll be okay, and Finn will get there eventually," she whispered as she leaned in for a hug. Giving him a quick squeeze she pulled back to smile up at him. "I'm glad the two of you took that first step though."
As usual her enthusiasm was hard to ignore, and he smiled right back. "Yeah, me too." Offering his hand, he let out a huge sigh. "Come on; let's go help Santana with Quinn so we can get out of here sometime before my hawk grows out."
They did get through before Puck's hawk grew out, though he grumbled that it was just barely the case. Rachel left to catch a ride home with Kurt and Mercedes, and Puck stuck around to help Artie pack up his guitar and the rest of his gear. They had finally gotten it all into his dad's car and Puck was headed back to his truck when the far more suitable than Wicked 'I Wanna Sex You Up' started blaring from his phone.
"Yeah?" he asked impatiently.
"Do you have to answer the phone like that?" Quinn questioned exasperatedly.
Puck rolled his eyes into the back of his head as he climbed into the truck. "I don't know, do you have to be so judgey about it?"
"Judgey isn't a word Puck."
"Yeah, yeah, what do you want Fabray?" There was a long pause, and fear rose up white hot in his chest. "Quinn, is something wrong with the baby?"
She expelled a hard breath. "No, no, sorry. The baby's fine, great actually. I just got a call from the adoption agency. They want to know if we're free tonight to do all of the final paperwork and have the final meeting with Jared and Emily."
As it had been since they had picked the couple, the names sent twin sensations of joy and pain through his body. They had found an awesome couple that he was totally cool with. She worked for a local magazine and he was a stock broker who was saved from a job Puck thought was totally lame by the fact that he had like every ninja movie ever made and played jazz piano. No matter how awesome they were he was still handing his daughter over to them to raise and it worried the shit out of him every time he wondered if they had made the right choice. For all he knew the people had bodies stashed in their attic.
Having been privy to Puck's strange thought processes during the selection process, Quinn knew exactly what his long silence meant. "Puck, they don't have any bodies hidden in their crawl spaces, secret occult meetings in their basement or evil plans to take over the world," she said gently. "We both agreed they're the best choice, and you know we'll get to see her grow up."
Noah dropped his head to the steering wheel, taking a deep breath. "I know. I know. Look I have to run home and let my mom know what's going on; she wants to come and meet them before everything happens, but we'll be there."
His hands were shaking when he hung up the phone, and he had to put it down just to keep himself from dropping it. It was a while before he was steady enough to drive home.
Rachel had been fast asleep for hours when there was a knock on her bedroom door. Fumbling for the switch on the lamp, she turned the light on and stumbled her way out of bed to open the door.
"Daddy?" she asked groggily.
"Sweetheart I'm sorry to wake you up, but Noah's here. He was just sitting out front in the truck when Dad saw him and we brought him into the house. He seems pretty torn up."
That woke her up as quickly as an electric shock, and she pushed past her father to make her way to the stairs. The hour suddenly hit her and she turned back to him. "Daddy I'm really sorry about how late it is but I'm guessing this is about Quinn and the baby and I swear we'll just stay downstairs and talk or sleep or whatever if you'll just let him stay…"
"Rachel, breathe." Her father waited for her to pause and do as he asked with a smile. "We trust you, and Noah seems too sad and worried to try and pull anything anyway. Just take care of him."
"Thank you Daddy." She hugged him briefly then went sprinting down the stairs to find Noah sitting on the couch looking for all the world like his entire existence had come crashing down on him.
He looked up and saw her, and she was surprised to find tears in his eyes. "I shouldn't even be feeling like this," he said quietly. "I knew the way things were going to go when Quinn and I picked Jared and Emily, but we had our last meeting with them tonight and now it's all legal and I feel like I took a line drive to the heart."
"Noah…" she whispered.
Puck shook his head. "I just… I don't know how to feel. I know we're doing the right thing for her but now that it's official I feel like someone's trying to rip my heart out. I helped make this little person and I'm signing her away; as soon as she's not with Quinn anymore and she's ready to leave the hospital she won't be mine anymore."
Tears were falling by the time he fell silent and Rachel rushed over to sit next to him, taking his hand. "Oh Noah, she'll always be yours and Quinn's; no matter what happens the two of you will always be the ones who brought her into this world and were brave enough to let her go so she could have the best life possible." He just shook his head but she wasn't going to back off now. Refusing to let him ignore what she had to say, she reached out to cradle his face gently in her hands. "Listen to me, Noah. You and Quinn, you're the bravest people on the planet, and I'm so proud of you for making this choice despite the fact that it's the hardest thing you'll ever do."
"I don't feel proud Rachel, I just feel… Shit I don't even know."
"You don't have to. You don't have to know how to feel or know what to do. Tonight you don't have to do anything but sleep."
He took a shaky breath. "I don't want to go home, and I know I sound like a complete wuss but I don't know what else to do."
That little bit of the usual Puck showing through made her smile and she leaned forward to kiss his forehead like the always did. "My dads are fine with you staying, Noah."
He breathed a sigh of relief, and neither of them said another word as they lay down together on her sofa. It wasn't until he was settled with Rachel's small body tucked carefully against his own and her arms wrapped around him that he finally let the tears fall.