Rivalry

Part 4

England why he even bothered putting locks on his doors. They apparently didn't deter unwanted visitors.

"Iggy!"

He sometimes, when he had nothing better to do during the fights that broke out during the summit meetings, would mentally hold a debate in his head about who was more annoying. The frog…or this bloody American.

Right now, he was going with the idiot American. As he had just burst into the room and caused England to spill his tea over his brand-new shirt that he'd just put on maybe fifteen minutes ago.

Maybe if he put up a barbed-wire fence?

"Fuck! You bloody git!" He jumped up, yelping as the hot liquid soaked through the fabric and burned his skin. Really, his day just kept getting better. This morning—if anyone could consider three as technically being morning—he'd been awoken by the sound of his cell phone playing a funeral dirge.

Which he knew meant that the frog was calling him.

At three in the fucking morning.

He'd answered, opening his mouth to start screaming at him, but was interrupted before he could begin by France remarking, as if It were perfectly normal and acceptable to call someone at three in the morning, "Did you know that Antoine was the catcher in his relationship?"

…A long pause, in which England had fought desperately to keep himself from throwing his phone across the room.

Instead, he screeched, "YOU CALLED ME AT THREE IN THE FUCKING MORNING TO TELL ME THAT?!?!?!"

France just laughed, although it sounded farther away, as if he'd moved the phone from his ear in order to keep himself from going deaf. "Non, I just thought it was an interesting little tidbit of information."

England immediately hung up and this time did throw the phone across the room. Although it somehow managed to land on a pillow, which rather ruined the expression of anger.

The phone had rung about ten more times that morning and he'd received at least twenty text messages. He'd finally put the damn thing on silent, hoping that his boss didn't need to call him for any reason.

And now, while he was yelling at America for startling him, his house phone rang.

That was it!

He marched across the room and picked up the phone. "If this is you, Francis, I'm going to fucking kill you."

France laughed, that incredibly irritating sound making England's fist start twitching in the desire to punch the frog right in his smug mouth. "Mon ami! You finally answered!"

"And I have no interest in Spain's sex life, so don't even think about mentioning it, bloody frog."

America immediately flashed him a confused, rather disturbed look.

"Is someone jealous, mon ami? You know that I'm always available."

"Shut up and just tell me what the fuck you want."

"I was just talking to Prusse and he told me that you'd promised to come drink with us."

"I never agreed to that."

France made an irritating 'tsk'ing noise. "But mon ami, things are always so much more entertaining when you're there."

"I am not going drinking with you, fucking frog. My boss is still furious about last time."

Meanwhile, America had already lost interest in whatever England was talking about. After the whole random remark about Spain's sex life, at least. He just wished that Iggy would hurry up. He wanted to do something.

"Iggy~" he whined, as England scowled at the telephone, completely ignoring him.

He was the hero! Heroes shouldn't be ignored!

"Igggggggyyyyyyyy~"

England flashed him a glare that quite plainly read 'if you don't shut up, I'm going to shove this phone up where the sun doesn't shine'.

It was an oddly specific look that he'd been on the receiving end of more times than he liked to remember.

"Look, frog, if I go, then will you stop calling me?"

America had never been very good at dealing with boredom. Especially when said boredom came because Iggy wasn't paying attention to him. He'd been that way even as a little kid. And he'd often done very…stupid things…in order to gain that attention.

The most memorable of these attention-gaining moments had been when England had decided to bring America with him when he went to visit France's boss—as training in diplomacy or something boring like that. America hadn't been paying attention when he told him what the point was.

He'd thought that it might be cool. Uncle France always gave the best presents after all.

Instead, he'd been forced to wear a scratchy suit and tie that was trying to suffocate him, sit in an uncomfortable chair for hours on end, and listen to the adults argue about boring things while sipping wine. Which they hadn't even let him try.

He'd left at one point, using the excuse that he had to go to the bathroom, and had started planning how he'd get back home. He was a pretty amazing swimmer, so it shouldn't be too much of a problem. And if he got tired, he could always ask one of the whales for help.

However, fortunately for him and unfortunately for everyone else in the building, Prussia just happened to be visiting his friend at that moment.

…And that was how he'd been introduced to firecrackers.

England had never taken him on any diplomatic meetings after that, something which he was incredibly happy about. Apparently Prussia had also had his secret trade route with China cut off, too, which he'd seemed to take surprisingly well.

Anyways, so America didn't enjoy being bored and not being the center of attention.

Which meant that he was now attempting to come up with some way of dealing with both problems.

England was currently engaged in an argument with France about how his cooking didn't suck—one that America had heard way too many times before—so he decided to head off to the kitchen in search of something at least vaguely entertaining.

What he found was something that he definitely hadn't been expecting…

Namely, a half-naked Prussian sitting at the kitchen table and drinking a cup of coffee.

He glanced up at the American's entrance and immediately grinned widely. "Hey, America. Fancy seeing you here."

A/N: Woohoo, Prussia ;D

And herein begins the Awesome Plan to Mess with America and Iggy's Heads.

Which does not involve kidnapping, but does have a little bit of breaking and entering…

So a lot of people have been asking for the secret awesomeness of Spain and Romano's texts... Ummm, yeah ;D I think I might hint at what they wrote, but I don't know if I could actually write them all out. lol. My mind isn't quite dirty enough to sink to their levels. Haha.

So, not that this is a promise, but I'm kind of semi-working on a longish one or two-shot serious/angsty Fall of Rome story. It'd be my first time writing a serious fanfic (not my first time writing a serious story by any means, as I've written lots of original horror pieces). Just wondering how many people would be interested in that sort of thing. And for those of you reading "And It's Supposed to be the Day of Love" do not fear that I have dropped it!! She's being quite stubborn and I had to restart the most recent chapter about four times before I could come up with anything decent, but I finally came upon an idea that I think will most definitely work. So just hold out for a bit longer.

Thanks for all of the reviews and encouragement! I love you all! 3