Rivalry

Part 8

"Ow… Your little boy toy has damn good aim."

Prussia was holding an ice pack against his head, cursing Romano out every few seconds. Although he did have to (reluctantly) give him some credit. He hadn't realized just how dangerous Romano could be when he was in jealous mode.

Apparently Romano had gotten even more possessive over Spain since they'd officially gotten together.

France was sitting on the couch of Spain's living room, holding his own ice pack against his head and wincing slightly. "Oui," he agreed, pulling the pack away after a moment and setting it onto the coffee table in front of them, attempting to not make any sudden movements. "I suppose we're just lucky that he wasn't in the ammunitions room."

Prussia winced at the idea. He had no doubt that Romano would shoot to kill if he ever got his hands on a gun while around them.

Spain was sitting in his armchair, smiling apologetically at his friends. "Lo siento. Lovi doesn't like to wake up alone, so he was probably cranky about that."

Prussia considered that it probably had more to do with the fact that France had been in the process of undressing his lover and that said lover had been too oblivious to realize it…

"Really?" France questioned, grinning brightly at this new trivia fact. "Lovi doesn't like waking up alone? Très mignon."

Spain nodded slightly, completely oblivious of the look his friend was giving him of 'this could be potential blackmail'. "Sí. He's so cute while he's sleeping." And he was off in his lovestruck Lovi-centered world, cooing about how cute he was when he was sleeping and how he'd actually be cuddly when he was half-asleep when he first woke up and how he was so absolutely adorable just in general.

Prussia and France glanced at each other, used to this sort of thing from Spain. They let him go off for a while, France finally leaning over and groping him as a way to gain his attention. "Mon ami, remember why we are here…"

Spain glanced up at his friend, immediately nodding with a bright grin. "I almost forgot. So Prussia's part of the plan was a success?"

Prussia grinned. "America definitely thinks that Artie and I are dating. Poor kid was in shock. Especially when I told him about Artie's tattoo. I thought he might actually faint at that."

Spain turned toward him, obviously surprised. "England has a tattoo?"

France now flashed a surprised glance to Spain. "You didn't know? Oui, mon cher Angleterre does indeed have a tattoo."

Prussia nodded. "Yeah, we both got them a while ago… We were both pretty smashed…" He shrugged, as if this explained everything.

Which it did if you took present company into account.

Spain stared at Prussia contemplatively. Well this was definitely something to file under 'information that could potentially be useful'.

"So what next?"

France immediately sat up straighter and grinned at his friends, crossing his legs and leaning forward slightly in a conspiring pose. "Ah, mes amis…the best part. We now get to play with mon cher Angleterre." He winked lewdly at that statement. "Unfortunately not literally, but we cannot always get what we want."

"So what's the plan then with that?" Prussia questioned.

"Simple, mon ami. I—" he pointed to himself with another wink and grin, "will make Angleterre jealous."

"How?"

"Easily. Everyone knows that you, Prusse, are the last person that someone like mon petit Angleterre should be dating. And, as we all know, it would not be the action of a true hero to let someone remain trapped in a relationship like that. I will simply offer my services to assist Amérique in working to 'break you up'." He smiled and waved his hand in a flourish. "The rest will fall right into place."

Prussia wasn't sure how to react to that. France had just said that he wasn't someone that Artie should be dating. Of course he was someone that Artie should be dating. Everybody should be dating him! He was awesome, after all!

Still… America definitely wasn't awesome, so it would be impossible for him to totally understand just how awesome Prussia actually was… And therefore he wouldn't understand that anybody would feel honoured to be dated by someone as awesome as Prussia!

He liked that logic. It was very true, after all.

"And what should I do with Artie? It's not like he'd actually agree to go out with me."

"You two are rather close friends, non? Just do what you usually do and make sure that Amérique sees you."

"So my job is to go out and get smashed with Artie? Awesome!" He jumped up and immediately headed toward the door, probably in order to get an early start on that goal.

"Ah, although there are a few more things that you should do as well," France called, stopping him as he reached into his pocket, pulling out a little blue notebook. "I made some notes in here of other ways that you can help me make Amérique even more jealous."

Prussia paused, taking the notebook and flipping through the pages, his eyes widening in surprise at some of the entries. "Really? You do know that Artie will murder me if he ever finds out about this."

"It's all in the name of l'amour, mon ami."

He continued to flip through the book for a few more moments, then sighed and nodded. "All right, I'll do it. But you're going to owe me big time after this."

And that was that. France and Spain stood as well and started to follow him to the door, all so wrapped up in their plans that none of them noticed a dark shape suddenly move at the top of the stairs. A dark shape that had been sitting there for most of their conversation, listening intently to everything they said. After a few seconds, once they had reached the door, it slowly stood and then slowly and quietly crept back down the hall toward the bedroom.

This was definitely something to tell Feliciano about.

A/N: Yes, Romano was actually watching the Bad Touch Trio having an innocent conversation when he decided to throw all that stuff at them (about messing around with other peoples' love lives, but you know…) And France groping Spain, but that's part of a normal conversation for them… None of them have any concept of personal space, lol…

And Prussia-logic is confusing. There's too much awesomeness flying around.