Rivalry

Part 10

"Potato bastard."

This was why peepholes had been invented. So that a person could look through them before they opened the door and therefore keep out unwanted visitors. Unfortunately, Germany hadn't thought to do so before opening the door to find probably the last person he'd ever want to see standing on his porch. "Good morning, Romano."

Surprisingly, he wasn't yelling at him yet. He'd actually sounded almost civil—if you could call referring to someone as 'potato bastard' civil.

"Is my brother here?"

And there was the question that would set off his rage. Germany just stood there for a moment, staring at the smaller Italian and wondering what sort of answer he should give. He could always lie and hope that Romano would take him at his word (unlikely) or he could say that yes, Feliciano was here and have to deal with the Italian's anger. "Umm…"

His decision was made by a yawning voice coming from behind him. "Ve~ nii-chan?"

Germany turned slightly to glance toward Italy, who was standing in the door to the kitchen, rubbing sleep from his eyes with the back of his hand. The image probably would have looked entirely innocent—after all, Italy slept over at his house all the time—if it weren't for the fact that he happened to be wearing one of Germany's shirts. Which was long enough on him to almost pass for a dress.

Germany mentally prepared himself for the upcoming explosion.

Italy didn't seem to notice the tension in the room and only yawned sleepily and stumbled forward, smiling wearily. "Ve~ I didn't know you were coming, nii-chan."

Romano's expression was quite plainly showing complete horror. Horror mixed with the beginnings of rage…

Here it came. Germany winced slightly in mental preparation.

And nothing happened.

Romano just stood there for a moment and then took a deep, shaky breath before turning to Germany with am impassive expression. "May I come inside?"

Something was wrong. Something was really wrong. Had somebody died? Somebody had to be dead. Although he had no idea who. Maybe something had happened to Spain? No…Romano probably would be comatose right now if something happened to him…

"Ah, of course." He stepped aside and watched Romano with a shocked expression as he merely walked inside, completely calm and relaxed, without pushing something over 'accidentally' or complaining about how it was too neat or saying anything degrading about his decorations.

Even Italy looked startled by his brother's actions. He stopped mid eye-rub and stared at his sibling as if he'd never seen him before.

"Ve~? Nii-chan?"

"I have something to speak with you about, Veneciano. Alone."

And now Italy looked scared. "V—ve? What's wrong? Is Spain-nii okay?"

First sign of the normal Romano. His eyes immediately flickered with irritation at Spain's name. "Yeah, that bastard is perfectly fine."

Germany wasn't sure if he wanted to leave Italy with his brother right now. He was definitely acting weird. Maybe he was so angry that he'd gone the completely opposite way, which could possibly mean that Italy might be in danger if they were left alone. "If you don't mind, I'd rather stay with Feliciano."

Romano glanced up, scowling slightly, but then his expression returned to disinterest and he shrugged slightly. "Fine, whatever, potato bastard."

Italy looked as if he were considering maybe calling for a shrink. "Are you sure you're okay, nii-chan? Would you like some pasta?"

"Sure, I guess."

"Doitsu, will you come and help me make it?" Italy turned on him with his biggest, widest should-be-trademarked puppy eyes.

Not that he really needed them, as Germany was pretty sure they both wanted to talk right now without Romano hearing them.

"Of course, Feli."

They crossed into the kitchen, not receiving one evil glare or furious curse from Romano. He even closed the door behind them without getting anything more than a slight sigh.

As soon as the door was closed, Italy jumped on him, his eyes wide in panic. "Ve~! Doitsu! Somebody kidnapped nii-chan and made a clone! We have to go save the real nii-chan!"

"Now, Feli, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for thi—"

Italy was not to be consoled. He'd clung to Germany's shirt and was now sobbing uncontrollably into the fabric. Which meant that Germany would have to change after this. "Ve~! What if they hurt him, Doitsu? What if they have the real nii-chan locked away? Or what if he's dead!" And here he started crying even louder.

Great. Now he had to deal with a hysterical Italy on top of trying to figure out what in the world was wrong with his brother. "Feli, Feli, calm down." He rubbed at his back, attempting to figure out exactly how you were supposed to comfort someone… He thought he was starting to get the hang of it, but it still felt supremely awkward for him.

It seemed to be working, though, since Italy's sobs were starting to quiet. "V—ve~" he finally mumbled in a rather pathetic tone.

"Your brother isn't dead. He's sitting right out there. Something must have happened. Maybe he's finally learning how to control his temper." As if that blessed day would ever really come.

Italy glanced up after a few more moments and smiled slightly. "Ve~ Doitsu…"

Germany was definitely getting better at reading Italy. He hesitated for a moment, then leaned down and brushed his lips against Italy's, drawing him into a sweet kiss.

Completely forgetting about the fact that his brother happened to be in the other room.

Until they were interrupted by a rather loud clearing of the throat from the doorway.

They hurriedly broke away, Germany turning to see Romano standing in the entrance to the kitchen, arms crossed over his chest, but no weapons in his hand. And not really glaring, more giving them both a hard look…

Okay, maybe Italy was right and Romano had been cloned.

Although if he was, Germany was starting to think he'd prefer to keep this Romano around.

"I need to talk to you, Feli, if you're quite finished."

Italy stared at his brother in complete shock for a few more seconds, probably waiting for him to suddenly start screaming and throwing things and all those things that Romano would usually do whenever he saw him with Germany. When he didn't retaliate in anyway, Italy glanced back up at Germany and then followed slowly. "Ve~ okay, nii-chan."

Germany followed them into the room, taking a seat next to Italy on the couch as Romano plopped down into his favourite armchair.

"Those three idiots are plotting to help get America and England together."

He said it so matter-of-factly that both Italy and Germany were shocked into silence. For a long while, Italy just stared at him before a bright grin broke out over his face. "Really? That's so sweet! America and England would be such a cute couple…"

So that's why Prussia hadn't been bothering him as much recently. Germany had been greatly enjoying the peace and quiet around his house—when it wasn't being broken by a hyperactive Italian, at least—but had been starting to worry that his brother was plotting something.

Remembering Prussia, France, and Spain's plan to bring him and Italy together definitely alerted him to the fact that this could not end up well.

Italy was still gushing about how that was cute and sweet and all that, while Romano was starting to look annoyed. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. I want you to help me."

"Help you what?" Italy leaned forward slightly, obviously intrigued.

Now Romano was starting to blush. He hesitated, opening his mouth a couple times as if trying to think of something to say. Then he turned away slightly and mumbled after a minute. "No—nothing. Just…I wanted to…you know…speed things up." His head immediately jerked up at this and he hurried to add, "Not for those two oblivious idiots! Just…Spagna's always with France and Prussia now and… Not that I care or anything! They're just going to end up causing me trouble!" He crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at them as if daring them to accuse him of acting soft.

Italy immediately squealed. "Veee~! Nii-chan is so cute! Ve~! Of course I'll help nii-chan!" He beamed toward Germany. "And Doitsu will help his nii-chan too, right?"

That was not what he had been thinking, but it was hard to say no to that smile. So he just grunted and crossed his own arms over his chest.

Italy took that as agreement. "Yay! Okay…" And now his expression suddenly changed. To something much more calculating and devious. An expression that Germany had only seen a few times and had grown to fear. "Ve~ then what's the plan, nii-chan?"

A/N: Romano is so cute when he's being deredere. And when he's being tsuntsun. He's just cute in general. And him being nice is almost as much a sign of the Apocalypse as America refusing hamburgers. Although he was only being nice to get his brother to agree to help him, so at least he should soon return to normal. Which is good. Writing him as being reasonable and not 'I'm going kill you for just looking at my brother the wrong way' scares me a little bit.

By the way, not that this is at all related, but I was reading today about tea (don't ask, I don't know) and there are lots of fun historical facts about it. ;D For example, tea can be credited with starting the Opium Wars. Quoting TVtropes (epic site of epicness) "Buying tea from China was expensive, as it had to be exchanged for silver. In response to this, British traders found something that they could export back to China at a profit- Opium. When the Chinese government tried to stop the massive addiction problem by banning the trade, Britain invaded, seized the ports and enabled the trade to continue. Twice."

Do not get between Iggy and his tea.

And all of that had NOTHING to do with the chapter whatsoever. I'm just really, really having a craving for tea even thought I just finished a rather large mug of Earl Grey and just had a conversation about tea with some people and was reading articles about tea… And watched a youtube video about tea and yes… Today is a pointless day of gaining tea-knowledge.