Summary: SEQUAL TO: BROKEN INSIDE. Of course nothing perfect can last, and now 18-year-old Lilly finds that out first hand. What will she do when her savior leaves her and everything starts getting worse in her once-improving life?

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

I am exhausted.
I am hurt.
I am depressed.
I am broken.
I am bleeding.
I am high as a motherfucking kite.

It's two thirty in the morning; three and a half hours since I got the phone call from him. I look to my right, my best friend is passed out next to me on the bed; her hand still in position from holding mine as I cried. Cried is an understatement.

If it were possible to feel like all your organs and your soul were pouring out of your being in the form of tears, then that would be how hard I cried. It sure FELT like it was possible, and the tears never stopped.

I can barely move, my body screams at me in exhaustion but my mind is occupied elsewhere; maybe it's my bleeding wrists or maybe how I'm blazed beyond belief. Or maybe my mind is occupied at the thought of my shattered heart that has nobody now to pick up the pieces.

I'm losing my mind.

XoXo

"Hello?" I answered the phone hesitantly; not sure whether to be angry at Joe for not contacting me in over a week, or happy to actually be talking to him.

"Lillian! Oh my God I have the greatest news!" Joe shouted into the phone, excitement lining his voice. I had to hold the phone away from my ear.

"Jeez Joseph, talk a little louder…what's going on?" I mumbled into the phone.

"Heh, sorry Lil, but oh my God get this…our CD wasn't only a best seller in the United States, but all around the fucking planet! Lilly, I'm going on tour for a year! I'm going to be all around the world!" Joe told me.

I had to catch my breath to make my heart continue beating.

"What?" I whispered; venom and sadness lining my voice. Joe detected this.

"Wait, aren't you happy for me baby?" He asked in confusion.

I got right to the point. "Joe…what about US?"

He paused. Silence.

"Lilly…I love you," He said quietly, "but I don't know how we can handle this so far away…"

My heart broke. The tears started coming.

"Joe if you LOVE me then you can make it work," I argued, trying to save my whole world.

"Lilly, I do love you, but I don't want to put you through all the pain of dating a rockstar," Joe said sadly.

I couldn't speak. The words weren't stuck in my throat because they couldn't even make it there; sobbing beat them to it. My world was shattered in a few minutes time. I couldn't breathe right, I felt my heart skip beats and my head spinning.

"Lilly?" Joe asked, I heard worry in his voice.

"I…I fucking…hate…you…" I managed to choke out through all the things my body was going through. I dropped the phone, and dropped to the floor; curled up in a ball trying to catch my breath.

The last thing I heard was Miley swearing up a storm at Joe. Then the blackness overcame me.

It didn't last long however, I woke up two minutes later and the pain came rushing back. Miley helped me off the floor and we both laid on the bed. She hugged me tight as I cried myself inside out; as my heart broke into pieces.

XoXo

I ended up falling asleep somehow at four thirty, and I am now waking up at noon with the worst fucking "aftershock" from the drugs. My wrists are burning. Excellent.

"Hey Lils, how are you feeling?" I hear from besides me. I look over at Miley. She must just be waking up.

"Like fucking shit," my voice is horse and it hurts to speak. My throat is so dry.

My best friend squeezes my hand and gives me a weak smile. "You look like it too."

"I…I got so fucking high last night Miles. I thought it would take the pain away but…the pain is so intense…" I whispered my unfinished confession to my best friend and watched her face fall.

"Lils, please don't tell me you're into drugs again," Miley whispered back sternly. I watched her face turn into a different expression that I couldn't read, but I found out soon enough.

She sat up and grabbed my arms. Fuck. She pulled up one sleeve, and then the other; revealing my multiple, deep reminders scabbing over on my wrists. Fuck! Her expression was now readable; sadness, extreme sadness. "Oh Lils…" She whispered as she lightly brushed my cuts. Tears poured from my eyes, and hers.

XoXo

My phone is broken. It's laying on the walkway in front of me in two pieces. I'm standing on the porch smoking a cigarette. I had too many missed alerts, so Miley and I decided to break the piece of shit.

I'm not going to school. I can't handle the faces of everyone happy or the ones of concern. Learning's a waste of time anyways.

I take a long drag of my stick and sigh a sad sigh. I'm trying my best to avoid the waterfalls down my face.

"Hey…are you sure you're going to be alright alone? I'll be home right after 3rd hour; I just have to take that fucking bio test," Miley said as she joined me on the porch.

I nodded and took another drag. "I'll be as depressed as I am now, promise," I replied flatly.

Miley frowned. "I'm sorry Lils…I love you."

"I love you too Miley," I said sadly.

She gave me a big hug and took out her cigarettes. I pulled out my lighter and lit her up. "Thanks babe," she said, "I have to go now so I'll see you in a couple hours. Text me if you need me earlier." I nodded as she took a drag. She smiled at me and walked down the walkway, kicking a half of my phone down the path as she went.

I wonder to myself, how many pills does it take to die before anyone comes home?

…

Oh no! She better not be doing what we think she is doing! Ugh, sorry for the depressing chapter but I had to get ALL her emotions out somewhere. What better place to do it than in the second chapter, eh? Haha. I'll be your best friend if you review!

-emergencyxx