Chocolate Cupcakes Ch 13: Inner Conflicts Part I, a fullmetal alchemist fanfic

~ 4 Fuuunnsf345/a;dkf. blehhhhh ~

Me: -snores- Too...lazy...to type...4 fun...sectiionnn..

Ed: C'mon pick up that lazy ass! Typetypetypetype!

Roy: You're hyper today, Ed.

Al: ...

Chocolate Cupcakes

There was a lot of people in Central today, mostly because it was Saturday. Teenage boys and girls Ed's age could always be found on the streets. It was warm, but not too hot. Cars and trucks passed by making loud noises and commotions. They couldn't find a driver, so they had to walk to the mall, which was going to take a long time.

Ed growled and looked straight forward, walking as fast as he could. "Those FREAKS!"

Winry sighed and Roy nodded in agreement. They tried to catch up with the blonde.

"If one of those assholes tries to 'flatter' me again, I swear on my father's grave that they will be buried next to him while I kick the grave stone and laugh like a maniac!!" Ed yelled, flames were surrounding him.

Roy flinched and stood back a little.

"Ed, please don't curse in public…" Winry said.

"This is a damn free country! You're pissing me off even more!" Ed shot back.

For once, Roy felt sorry for Winry. "It's better if you don't try, it'll just makes it worse."

Winry huffed and crossed her arms. "I just don't get it...people don't pay much attention to him when he's a boy…but now that he's dressed as a girl, boys are drooling all over him!"

"It's almost like he can attract the same number of boys like I can on girls." Roy thought out loud.

Ed turned around. "Not helping!"

"Are you sure that pill didn't turn him all girl?" Winry whispered to Roy. "He just might be cranky because of PMS..."

Roy's eyebrow twitched. "No, he's always like that."

"HEY, I CAN HEAR YOU!" Ed glared at them.

"Yeeeeeah…" Winry replied. "-cough- PMS -cough-."

"Ed! Slow down will you?!" Winry called. They were almost at the entrance of the mall.

Ed stuck his tong out and made a face. "Like that'll ever ha---" He was cut off when he felt himself bump into something.

"Sorry miss, are you okay?"

He looked up and recognized the voice. "Russel?!"

Russel raised an eyebrow at him. "Yes….that's me. How do know my name?"

Dammit...still tall as usual...

Ed gulped and took a step back. "Uh…uh…you know Edward Elric, right?" He nodded and saw Roy and Winry's figures behind him.

Roy sweat-dropped seeing who it was. (1) Winry tilted her head. She didn't meet Russel and Ed didn't tell her about him, since no one ever tells her anything.

Uh oh…this is bad. He thought as he walked and stood besides Ed.

"Hello Russel, nice to see you. Is you're brother here with you?" Roy asked politly.

Seeing that it was Roy, his face lightened. "Colonial Mustang, how nice to finally meet you." He shook hands with him. "I've heard many stories about you. I guess Ed doesn't like you very much. He talks about you all the time."

"Oh really?" he replied and couldn't help himself from showing a smirk.

Ed's face turned crimson.

"Uh, em…" Ed coughed loudly. "I'm Ed's...cousin. I was just stopping by over here."

Russel grinned. "Well you do look a lot like him. But you're attitude is the opposite of his. What's your name?"

"Eve." Roy answered for him. Ed glared at him. He muttered something that sounded like 'I can answer by myself thank you very much…'

"It's nice and short. It fits well." He commented…or that's what he thought.

Ed clenched his teeth and hung his head down. "My name isn't short." He said through his gritted teeth. "Your name is short!"

"Ok…?" he replied with a sweat-drop.

The four decided to explore the mall together as a group, much to Ed's disliking. However, they will need to split up once in a while to go into different stores.

"So…Russel. What are you doing here?" Winry was beginning to catch on. He must be one of Ed's rival/friends he made during his missions. She thought, putting together all the common sense.

"I'm here to buy a present for my little bro's birthday. It's next week I think." He began as he walked through the huge building.

Huh…he has a little brother. She stared at Ed, who was still pouting. She smiled. They were kind of alike, both with little brothers and all.

"And who might you be?"

"I'm Winry, Ed's childhood friend, coming for a visit." She introduced.

"Wow, lots of people coming this time of year." Russel said.

While they were having another conversation about discussing both their ways of torturing Ed, Roy and Ed were falling behind. They were busy dealing with their own…situation.

There was one very bad problem when it comes to Ed and Roy.

Boys keep following Ed, and girls keep following Roy. Trailing behind their backs, waiting to make a move.

Ed had to pull down his shirt four times after looking at a boy's evil little eyes. Roy was used to girls chasing him around, waiting to give him their phone numbers, but he wasn't used to boys following Ed around.

And Ed ain't so happy about it either.

"Make it stop…" he groaned.

"Shh…I think they are about to make their move." Roy said.

One of the girls rushed over and walked besides Roy. She winked and smiled at him. "Hey, handsome. You want to grab something to eat?"

Roy knew he should've rejected her. But the one thing he hates is disappointing someone. He didn't want to hurt her either. "Alright, but wait a second."

She breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh thank god. I really thought you two were going out."

She didn't mean Ed and Roy, right?

Right…?

But she did, which made both of them stiffen.

"Me and him? N-no way…" Ed replied. His stomach did a flip-flop.

That hurt. Even though he didn't mean it, it still did. Roy was confused.

"That's good, because I was thinking that you were too young for him. You're kind of short for a freshman." The girl teased.

What happened next you ask?

Did Ed, A) Yell out something completely random ranting about his height?

B) Want to strangle her from the inside but couldn't do anything since he was in disguise?

Or, C) Say something mean to her and drag Roy away?

And the answer is…D) NONE OF THE ABOVE!

Winry and Russel stopped talking to see what's going on. Roy prepared himself to call 911 after he beat both of them up.

Instead, Ed surprised them all. He turned around and simply walked away.

Winry was surprised that he didn't let up any steam.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I'm only 17 and he's 29." He whispered sadly. "You guys go and have fun."

The girl blinked. "You're 29? Well that's a little old, but it'll do since I'm 21." She giggled and pulled on Roy's arm.

Roy didn't budge. He was still recovering from shock. "Ed, are you sure about this? You don't need to force yourself."

He stopped walking. "No, I insist. I'll be fine." Then he started walking again until he disappeared amongst the crowd.

Winry and Russel took a last look at Roy and followed him. "Don't worry! It's just the hormones! He'll be back normal in no time!" Winry told him. Her voice trailed off and all Roy could see was two yellow blurs.

"So, how about pizza at that Italian restaurant on the corner?" the girl cried exactly. Roy was worried about Ed.

He shouldn't act like this even with the hormones. Not even fate itself can make him admit that he's short and then walk away like nothing happened. He thought as he walked with his date for the evening.

I need to talk to him. He pleaded. His thoughts were broken when he accidentally crashed into a poll. "OW!"

Perfume filled the air and it stung Ed's eyes while he walked. He didn't know where he was. And he didn't care. He didn't go to the mall very often, only to buy some jackets. That was all. He never once bothered to even look at the map. He was very lucky to have run into the clothing section of the mall.

"I minus well pick up some clothes while I'm here." He said, looking at the shopping spree in his pocket.

He sighed. There's a perfectly good explanation for why he did what he did. He wasn't going to tell anyone soon enough.

Hands in his pockets, he wandered into a store full of colorful clothing. Lots of teens (Older than him though) were searching through the piles.

It must be pretty good to have so many customers. He thought and went in.

"Excuse me, but could you help me find some decent clothing?" he asked one of the shop ladies. "I'm not very good at picking out clothes…"

She smiled and leaded him into the corner of the shop. "I see that you are a tomboyish type?"

You don't know the half of it… he thought and nodded.

She picked out a blue pair of jeans, with strips and some jewels embarked on the side. "How about this one?"

Ed shook his head. "I already have a pair of jeans. I'm looking for something different please."

The women thought for a moment and looked through some more. She took out a very tiny white miniskirt. It had a flower petal design at the side. "We're selling these half off today. I think this should fit you well."

Ed stared at it and blushed. "But that's k-kind of-."

Before he got to finish, the women lifted it up to show him. "I know that there are many boys that would just love to peek under there, but this one has a pair of shorts underneath, so you don't have to worry about that."

"In other words, this is a skort (2)." She explained.

Ed's eyes light up. "This is perfect! I'll take it!" He handed her the money. After he bought it, the shop lady convinced him to change into it in their changing rooms.

He stepped out of the store and thanked her.

"The guy who invented these must be a genius!" he said as he walked without worry.

Winry and Russel decided to split up. They would each search half of the floor.

Russel searched all the clothing stores first, since Winry told him they were here to buy him clothes. "I'm looking for a girl who's about this tall, has blond hair, and was wearing an orange top!" he asked the shopkeeper. He was about to give up hope after asking about seven.

"Oh, you just missed her! She went that way." The women pointed in the direction of the food court.

He nodded and ran for it.

He rested on a bench after ten minutes. "Old hag…she was lying." He said catching his breath. Then he look up when he heard Ed's voice.

"I'm not going out with you, I'm not going to give you my phone number, I don't want to make you're girlfriend jealous, and I AM NOT SHORT!" he yelled at the boy in front of him. Must've been the hundredth one today…

"Go away and leave me alone!" he pointed to another place.

Russel rushed over after the boy finally went away crying. Ed felt kind of guilty afterwards. "Okay…I'm sorry about that! Stupid pill…" he stomped off and took a seat on a bench.

Russel sat down besides him looking concerned.

Ed noticed his presence right away but didn't move. "Look, I'm not in the mood."

Russel frowned. "I'm not stupid, Ed. I know everything."

Ed's eyes widened and he turned to him. "Everything…?"

"Yes, everything." He said boldly. "I know that you're Ed, and that you're pretending to be a girl."

Ed looked down disappointed. "Oh, that…"

"Care to explain?" he demanded.

"How did you figure it out?" he asked, ignoring his question.

"I used basic skills and common sense, concentrating on both of you're heights and looks, similar attitudes...aaand I heard Mustang call you Ed." he finished.

"That idiot!" Ed yelled. "I'm going to call Hawkeye to give him triple the paperwork he has due on Monday!"

"...Anyway, Why---I mean how did this happen..?"

"Wel---" Ed began.

"Hold on, I'll probably never get another chance like this." He interrupted. "You're not only short right now, you're also cross-dressing! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" he rolled on the floor laughing. People stared at him.

Ed stood up with his hair on fire. "IT'S NOT FUNNY!"

"Yes it is!"

"Grr…Well you're…UGLY!"

"You should change your name to Edoooo-chan!!"

"SHUT UP, ASSWIPE!"

A/N: ... -___-

DELETED SCENE ALERT (after the beginning of the chapter)

There was a lot of people in Central today, mostly because it's Saturday. Teenage boys and girls Ed's age could always be found on the streets. It was warm, but not too hot. Cars and trucks passed by making loud noises and commotions. They couldn't find a driver, so they had to walk the the mall, which was going to take a long time. What could possibly go wrong?

Ed growled and look striaght forward, walking as fast as he could. "Those FREAKS!"

Playback, the question should be, What couldn't go wrong?

Winry sighed and Roy nodded in agreement. They tried to catch up with the blonde.

Roy flinched and stood back a little.

"Ed, please don't curse in public…" Winry said.

"This is a damn free country! You're pissing me off even more!" Ed shot back.

For once, Roy felt sorry for Winry. "It's better if you don't try, it just makes it worse."

Winry huffed and crossed her arms. "I just don't get it...people don't pay much attention to him when he's a boy…but now that he's dressed as a girl, boys are drooling all over him!"

"It's almost like he can attract the same number of boys like I can on girls." Roy thought out loud.

Ed turned around. "Not helping!"

"Are you sure that pill didn't turn him all girl?" Winry whispered to Roy. "He just might be cranky because of PMS.."

Roy's eyebrow twitched. "No, he's always like that."

"HEY, I CAN HEAR YOU!" Ed glared at them.

"Yeeeeeah…" Winry replied. "-cough- PMS –cough-."

Ed stopped walking and before you know it, he was right in front of Winry. "I'll TELL you why! It's because of that fucking pill that tastes like shit!! It gave me more fucking hormones!" Ed pointed a finger at her. "And one minute, I'm shy and quiet, then mad, then sad, then calm, then stubborn, then gullible, then forgiving, then nice, then snobbish, then emo for some reason!!!"

"GAHH! This is killing me!" he shrieked into the heavens.

Roy chuckled under his breath. "Well, we'll make sure you're buried next to your father. I'll even buy some flowers for you."

Ed's expression turned blank. What happened next, well…killed Roy and Winry.

He smiled cutely and jumped up and down. "Aw! Don't be so mean you meanie! I'd like some rare blue daffodils placed on my grave please!!" Stars were literally coming out his eyes.

Roy didn't know when his jaw hit the floor, but it happened pretty fast. Winry's did the same.

"Don't be like that!" Ed giggled. "Lets all be friends! Like they say, violence is not the answer, we should talk about our feelings!"

After that…Roy and Winry died a second time.

"He turned into a safe, bright, optimistic, happy, goody-goody!" Roy said, his mouth still hung open.

Ed paused for a second and looked up. "Oh, look at the time, like…we got to go!"

"Huh?" the both replied.

Ed placed his hands on his hips. "Well if you're like not going, then whatever..." he started walking ahead.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Winry asked.

"No…" Ed said in a low voice.

He turned around and tears were streaming down his face. "What if something's wrong with me!?" he cried. "I'm ruined! I have diabetes!!" gallons of anime tears piled up onto the road.

Roy's heart felt like it stopped. Winry fainted.

Ed slapped himself. "Kill me now."

Winry got up and Roy breathed in.

"Well, at least we know that's the real Ed…" he said and took another deep breath.

Ed's eyes expressed no happiness whatsoever. Just a block of gold mist.

"Seriously, kill me now." he repeated in monotone. "I have no reason of living. I hate this place. I hate this world. People keep calling me short. What's the meaning of life if you're not tall?"

Roy choked on air and Winry gasped.

Ed blinked once and tapped his chin.

"Not again!" Roy moaned. He had enough shock for one life time.

"What could be this time?!" Winry muttered. "Don't tell me it's going to be—!"

"Pardon, but of all that is British, I command more tax on tea!" Ed bowed down and waved a salute. "Tally-ho, everyone!"

Winry could've just punched the sense into him, but like Roy, was too shocked to move.

"I say…you're not mad, are you?" Ed asked after taking a look at the two people.

"Mad? As in angry?" Roy raised his eyebrow.

"No, no…it means as in crazy." Winry corrected.

"Then Ed is mad right now."

"You said it."

Ed took a deep breath and spotted something His eyes widened and leaped back. "ACK! GET IT AWAY!" he shrieked and hid behind Roy.

Winry walked over and squinted. "An…ant?"

Even the ant seemed the sweat-drop.

"THAT IS SO DISGUSTING! EW EW EW EWWWW Ewwwww!" Ed shook his arms frantically.

Roy, Winry, AND the ant sweat-dropped.

Ed tripped and fell on his head.

"Ow…that hurt." He said rubbing his head. He straightened his back and took a deep breath. Then came— "AND NOW FOR MY PLAN TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!! MUAHAHAhahahahahaa -hack- -cough-!" His fingers wiggled while he laughed.

"I thought he said he'd laugh like a maniac after he kills his father…" Winry muttered. Roy tried to control himself from cracking up. C'mon…Ed? A villain? Please. Villains are suppose to be tall and huge.

He turned around to Winry. "And now I shall kill you first. Your five thousand wrenches of doom stand no change against my mighty auto-mail!! BUAHhahaaa!" he said pointing his index finger at her.

Winry slapped her forehead. "I'M THE ONE WHO GAVE YOU THE AUTOMAIL!" She took out a wrench from her pocket and smacked him in the head.

Ed fell backwards, but was saved by the wall. "Ehh…"

"This is really getting out of hand. I wonder what happened ten minutes after we left the room…" Roy had a flashback.

~ FLASHBACK ~

Right before the trio was about to go outside, Winry suddenly remembered something. "Oh no…I forgot those coupons I've been saving!"

"I have to go get it! You guys stay here." She said and started to run through the halls.

Right after she left, Roy suddenly remembered something. "Shit! I forgot to deliver those papers to the mail! Hawkeye's going to kill me!" he panicked.

"Stay here Ed and don't move." He commanded and ran into the opposite direction of Winry.

So they left Ed alone by himself near the exit. And Ed, we all know, is not the type of person to listen to anyone.

So he got bored and walked outside, skimming the stores to kill time. Then he saw a sign which caught his curiosity. 'FREE SAMPLES TODAY ONLY!'

So he crossed the street, almost got hit by a car, and went in.

After he was done, Roy and Winry were already waiting for him back at the door. "Where were you?" they both demanded after Ed got back in.

He smiled. "Just browsing stores."

At that time, Roy didn't suspect anything and let it slide. And that's where it all began.

~ END FLASHBACK ~

"So…then lots of boys were drooling all over him as we walked and he said, 'Those FREAKS!' and then we tried to catch up. He said something about killing those assholes and burying them besides his father's grave…then Winry's like all 'I don't get it!' and then I was like saying something about comparing…and she's like 'PMS, PMS!'…and that's when we had the flashback." Roy finished.

"Mr. Mustang…this all happened. In simple terms, WE KNOW!" Winry yelled.

"Did I mention that lots of boys were drooling all over him?" Roy asked.

Winry gaped. "Ugh…I'm the only sane person in here."

While Roy was having his flashback, Ed turned into a shy and quiet girl. He was moping around while they talked.

"Those tasted so good…" Ed remarked after reading the flashback.

Winry and Roy stopped arguing. Their ears perked up.

"There's something in that statement that's bothering me…" Roy said dumbly.

"Ed…you said something about tasting?" asked Winry. We all know who has the common sense.

Ed smiled shyly. "Y-yeah. And could you s-stop starring at me?"

Winry blinked once. "What did you taste?" Roy watched as Ed was about to say something when he burped. His face turned red. "Sorry…"

(A/N: How about now? Here is some free space for your thinking. When you are done, scroll down.)

The smell of liquor filled the air and got to Roy's nose. His eyes widened. It suddenly hit him. "EDDDD!" he exclaimed angrily.

The quiet and shy Ed looked up frightened.

"YOU WERE DRINKING FREE SAMPLES AT THE BAR ACROSS THE STREET AND GOT DRUNK WITHOUT US NOTICING!" Roy pointed at him accusingly.

"So that's why!" Winry said thoughtfully. "Alcohol plus a load of hormones equals…" she was too afraid to say the answer.

"This." Roy finished, addressing Ed as if he was a thing.

All Ed could do was try to get away unnoticed. He crawled away slowly and ran for it.

Winry and Roy both heard the sound of footsteps. "ED! GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!"

Ed bit his lip. "I'm sorry! I forgot to tell you! Honest!"

Winry and Roy ran after him. "COME BACK HERE AND FACE US LIKE A MAN!"

Awkward pause.

Ed laughed nervously and yelled. "I'm kind of dressed as a girl over here!"

Nice.

END CHAPTER...FILLER...THING...