A/N - So I'm really sorry this took so long. University is so hectic! This is another Hinata chapter. You'll notice that I've actually gone back and continued from Chapter 3, so that by the end of this Chapter 5 it ends up being the same moment as the end of Chapter 4. I really wanted the result of Kiba and Hinata's meeting at the river to be shown through Kiba's eyes, so I went back and wrote about the actual confession so I could end it with Kiba standing over her XD
I also have to apologize for my horrible characterization of Naruto; you have no idea how hard it is to write him!
Enjoy, and feel free to review! :D
"Ah, Hinata, did you see the new ramen bar they built on the main street? It's down near the Academy, which is great, because now there's a ramen bar on either end of the village! Not that I'll be eating at the new bar, of course, since Ichiraku's got the best ramen and they give me a discount there because I eat so much, but it's good to know that if I'm ever dying of hunger near the Hokage's Residence I won't have to crawl all the way to Ichiraku's to get a meal!"
Despite the openness with which Naruto was talking, Hinata found it hard to concentrate and return his enthusiasm, what with his hand so close to hers as they walked side-by-side down the alleys on the way to... wait... where were they going again?
With a smile plastered to her face to show him she was listening, she ran through the conversation they'd had so far - which wasn't a great hassle, considering that she had barely spoken a word, and it was easy enough to skim over the topics that Naruto had brought up - and she recalled the moment they had left the Hokage's Residence, and their discussion on where to go.
Ah, that was right. He had offered to show her his house.
The sudden urge to run coursed through her arms and legs, despite the fact that, not ten minutes earlier when he had suggested the notion, she had nodded and accepted his invitation gratefully. For a moment her head spun and she could feel her crystal eyes rolling back into her head. The world tilted at a sickening angle and she felt herself falling.
But just as suddenly a hand was on her arm, steadying her, bringing her back down to earth. Behind her fluttering eyelids she thought she saw Kiba standing before her, looking down at her in concern, as he usually did when she became dizzy and disoriented - which was a lot of the time, admittedly.
Instead, she found herself looking up at ocean-blue orbs, made so much brighter by the contrasting golden spikes of hair that fell haphazardly over them. Calm descended and she studied her distorted reflection in the forehead protector he wore on his brow; her skin was paler than usual, she noted distractedly, perhaps from the stress of the past month and her intense planning of this very moment.
So far, her plan was failing.
Hinata reluctantly averted her gaze, blinking rapidly to gain some kind of perception. Her hand was warm, and with a quick wiggle of her fingers she found the source of the warmth to be Naruto's hand, which was tightly gripping hers. It seemed he had stalled her fall, for his other arm was holding her shoulders and stopping her from reaching the ground by a mere centimetre or two.
"Hinata," he demanded, still not accustomed to her dizzy spells despite years of training alongside her, "What's wrong?"
"Ah..." The groan escaped her lips before she could silence it; it wasn't of pain, or annoyance, just frustration, more at herself than anyone else. Why did she have to be so incapable of even the simplest of tasks? Academy students these days were confessing their love for each other without batting an eyelid; why was it so difficult for her? It's not as if she hadn't had the opportunity to think it over; she had pondered and wondered and doubted and hoped for at least seven years now. There were much greater issues at hand, and yet she could not work up the courage to speak of feelings?
"Hang on, Hinata. My house is just around the next corner," Naruto explained, dropping her trembling hand and ducking his under her knees instead. He tested her weight - which would never have been an issue for him, having trained so vigorously - and then stood, bounding off in the direction they had been walking in.
The feeling of being carried was heady, and Hinata had to close her eyes, pretending she was somewhere else; anywhere but in Naruto Uzumaki's arms, being carried the way a... a... a bride would!
It was only a short jog to their destination, and Hinata reluctantly opened her eyes, her curiosity overpowering her flight instincts for that fraction of a second.
The house they were standing in front of was not grand or fancy, as she had imagined. It looked just the same as any other building on this street, and she was sure she'd walked past it many times before. The outer walls were an orange colour, as was custom in most of Konoha, the windows shuttered but open, the wind blowing at the bright coloured curtains she could see between the slats of wood. The windows and awnings had been cleaned recently, but she doubted that Naruto had done it himself; she could just imagine Sakura coming around, fussing over every single speck of dirt.
That thought brought her up short, a pang of something close to jealousy piercing her stomach. She closed her eyes again to try to shield herself from it.
Naruto misinterpreted her emotional pain as physical and he strode towards the doorway, kicking at the doorknob to open it. "I never lock the door, so if you ever need me, you just come straight in," he ordered sternly, stepping over the threshold and making a beeline for the sofas, which were tucked away in the corner of the first room. The home smelled of rich pine and spices, but there was a musky smell that she knew was Naruto, further proof that this was indeed where he lived.
Despite Hinata's inaccurate vision of the outside of the house, she had imagined the inside perfectly. As Naruto gently placed her on the nearest couch, which was worn and comfortable, she ticked off a mental checklist of the things she could see; mismatched furniture, nick-nacks of all shapes and sizes, photos of great importance in an assortment of frames. The walls were painted in warm hues, a deep orange being one of the more predominant colours.
Through an archway to her left she could see a small part of what must have been the kitchen; the benchtops were covered in leftover meals and shinobi tools, a kettle and toaster the only things that looked like they should be there. Once Naruto had ascertained that she was awake and alert, he strode purposefully through that arch, and from the other side of the wall she could hear banging and the sound of running water.
She gave herself a moment to think. She was in Naruto's home - Naruto's home! - and so far she was having trouble controlling herself the way she wanted to. As always, she tried to see things from a shinobi standpoint, using facts and being objective. In terms of a mission, this could almost be considered a failure, but there was still a chance to redeem herself. She swallowed painfully, feeling more than a little anxious at what she was about to do, and whether she would actually be able to go through with it.
Naruto returned, holding a tall glass of water in one hand and a thin blanket in the other. He placed the glass on the rickety table beside the sofa, and leant over Hinata with the blanket, wrapping it around her shoulders. "You've been doing too much training lately, Hinata," he said seriously as Hinata cautiously reached around herself and tugged the blanket closer. "I'm worried about you. You need to take care of yourself more."
Hinata's heart began beating madly at the thought of Naruto being 'worried about her'. Her face flushed bright red, and she reached for the glass of water to forestall the trembling which she knew would start at any moment. She took a mouthful of the cool liquid and noted that it tasted funny; Naruto must have stirred in one of Sakura's tonics to give her some extra strength. The thought made her just a little bit jealous, but the tonic was enough to aid her courage, and she set the glass down again.
Like a mission, she said to herself. This is just like a mission.
Hinata let her eyes seek his out. He was closer than she had thought, and she had to quell the fluttering nausea that tried to grip at her stomach. His eyes were tight, his mouth set in a hard line; this was his serious face. She was seeing it more and more these days.
"N-N-Naruto-kun..." she began softly, "T-t-there's... there's something I want to tell you." The words came out faster and easier than she had expected, and she blinked.
Naruto didn't seem to notice. His face had lost its serious expression and instead he looked interested. "Ahh really? What is it?" He contemplated for a moment, then said, "It can't be about Sasuke, because you already said you hadn't heard anything..."
"N-no, it's not about S-Sasuke..." she clarified, unwrapping herself from the blanket and rising to a stand. "It's... it's about you, actually."
He seemed taken aback, blinking rapidly. "Me?"
The kunoichi's heart fluttered and she swallowed painfully. "Y-yes..." She whispered, knotting her hands together in front of her. Her jounin vest suddenly felt very tight and very warm. "I've been... meaning to tell you f-for a w-while now," she stuttered.
Naruto looked her directly in the eye. "What is it?" He repeated. His face was alight with interest, and Hinata faltered. What if he didn't want to hear it? What if his interest in her answer turned to anger, or embarrassment?
But by now the words were tumbling out of her mouth and it was impossible to hold them back. "Well, I -" she bit her lip out of habit, and then proceeded without holding back, the adrenalin rushing through her veins. Her eyes were clearest crystal. "I'm in love with you, Naruto-kun!"
For one long, drawn-out moment, there was nothing but the whistling of the wind as it swept through the open window, and then there was only an unvoiced tension that seemed to hang between the two of them. Hinata watched Naruto for some sign, any kind of emotion that differed from the blank interest he had showed moments before.
It took a few heartbeats, it seemed, for the words to sink in. Hinata's breath came short as she watched his face fall. He averted his pure eyes and his constant grin disappeared, replaced with a slight frown that would have seemed ominous even in the best of situations.
"I..." His voice was hoarse, and he cleared his throat, holding his hands out to her in a gesture close to an offering, though there was nothing he could give her. "I'm sorry, Hinata," he murmured, "I have someone I am in love with too."
Hinata's eyes darted across his face as panic began to set in. Her mind was working overtime, but her emotions had not kicked in yet; the blow had been swift and relatively painless.
She blinked a few times, and then said, "Sakura-chan?"
Naruto looked across at her for a moment, and then nodded. "Yeah."
Ahh, there it was. Hinata felt the jealousy clutching at her stomach, followed by the tide of other emotions that she had been waiting for. They crashed over her all at once, overwhelming in their power, and she stopped breathing.
She had failed.
A shuddering sob threatened to break free from her chest and so she raised a hand to her mouth, biting her lip until it bled. With speed she did not know she possessed she threw herself towards the door, ignoring Naruto's shouts of "Hinata!" and twisting the doorknob so hard that it nearly broke clean off. She flew out into the fading light of evening and down the street, not paying any attention to anything but trying not to cry. She couldn't cry. She couldn't...
She did. The thick tears that she had refused herself rolled down her cheeks in cascades as she ran, leaving dirty trails on her skin and collecting in her unbound hair. She tripped and fell, scraping her hands painfully on the gravelly sand of the outer-village streets, and a sob tore from her throat as the pain lanced up her forearms.
She was certain that Naruto had not followed her; she could not feel his presence at all.
With much difficulty and less motivation than she had ever felt, she raiser herself onto her feet and started to run again. She had no idea where she was, nor did she care; she just wanted to get away, to hide, to find a quiet place to stay for a while, or forever.
It wasn't until she reached the white walls of the Hyuuga compound that she stopped short. She took two deep shuddering breaths and sprinted away as fast as possible; as much as she was hurting she knew she did not want to be anywhere near that place. She did not want to see the disdain in her father's eyes, nor the contempt in her sister's. She knew she would not be able to handle that.
And so she found herself in the only other place she really ever visited. The training grounds were empty now, with the encroaching darkness painting the forests black. It was peaceful here, a place of tranquility once the training was over.
The quiet made her sorrow all the more hard to bear.
With a heavy heart and her body aching, she carried herself to the nearby river, her palms stinging and bleeding out into her jacket sleeves. She tripped again and collapsed forward into the shallows, inhaling water. Panicking and spluttering, she hauled herself and her now waterlogged clothes onto dry land again, dragging herself up onto the bank and into the hollow of a nearby tree.
When she was safe, shivering from cold and exhaustion, the tears came even faster. She curled in on herself and covered her face with her arms, sobbing as though her heart would break.
But her heart was already in pieces, shattered by a dream that she felt she never should have had. What had she been thinking, confessing to Naruto? Only someone as stupid as she was would ever think up such an insane plan. She had been a fool to think he would ever accept someone like her, a failure as a shinobi and as a human. She couldn't even control her emotions; it seemed as though her body had a will of its own now, and there was nothing she could do to stop the tears from coming, to calm her shaking, or control her erratic, self-depricating thoughts.
The passage of night seemed to take years, and when light finally appeared through the thick canopy of the forest close to midday Hinata was still dazed and out-of-sorts, her emotions running rampant and her face tight and tear-stained. One moment she was silent, and the next the pain would return and the sobbing would start. s
It was during one of the more painful moments when Hinata felt a shadow pass over her, and she started. It wasn't often that someone could get this close to her without her knowledge, and she prayed that it was a stranger, someone she did not know. It would be far too embarrassing and distressing for someone like Tenten or Ino - or god-forbid, Sakura - to find her.
So when she opened her eyes and found herself looking up at Kiba Inuzuka through a sheet of salty tears, she felt as though another, perhaps even harder, blow had been dealt to her.